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Good job! You could actually take that basic plot and make a longer story out of it if you ever wanted to. The only questionable part was when she fell into the lake and was knocked unconcious underwater and survived. -Also when the other girl and her brother were given a life sentence for something that would have been only a few years for a juvenile, but other than that it was great.

Originally posted by The Black Ghost
Good job! You could actually take that basic plot and make a longer story out of it if you ever wanted to. The only questionable part was when she fell into the lake and was knocked unconcious underwater and survived. -Also when the other girl and her brother were given a life sentence for something that would have been only a few years for a juvenile, but other than that it was great.

Thank you so much, and about the brother and sister, They were around 21 when it happened

Oh yeh, i guess i didnt read it properly (still wouldnt be a life sentence). Good work!