Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Substitutes your favorite Chuck Norris fact with the word Deadpool in Chuck Norris' place.

Deadpool does not go hunting. Hunting implies failure. Deadpool goes killing.

Chuck Norris facts are a ripoff of Bill Brasky skits.

wHA, HUH?

When Deadpool falls in water he doesn't get wet, water gets Deadpooled.

Deadpool once downed a whole bottle of sleeping pills once. He blinked.

You said once twice, dude...

^ for emphasis!

Deadpool isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Deadpool.

Deadpool once jumped from a plane and his parachute didn't open. Deadpool didn't die. The ground did.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Deadpool allows to live.

Deadpool beat wolverine......


(a fact not even TOAA himself can claim)

God created guns just so Deadpool could have something to do in his free time.

Deadpool isn't popular because of Marvel. Marvel is popular because of Deadpool.

Deadpool once ran so fast he went round the earth and punched himself in the back of the head.

Deadpool once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Deadpool re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Deadpool does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

While urinating, Deadpool is easily capable of welding titanium.

Deadpool once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Deadpool won by 5.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Deadpool once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Deadpool likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

When Deadpool has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.


Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Deadpool has 72... and they're all poisonous.

Deadpool drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Deadpool once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Deadpool will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Deadpool originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Deadpool replied, "That's no glitch."

Deadpool is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing

When Deadpool has sex with a man it won't be because he is gay but because he has run out of women.

Deapool brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

If you spell Deadpool in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Deadpool knows the last number in pi

Originally posted by TheKahn
Deadpool once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

When Deapool went to return the dead parrot he purchased that very morning, his money was refunded immediately and he was given 6 live parrots and a monkey

Deadpool expected the Spanish Inquisition

Deadpool has two speeds: Walk and Kill

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Deadpool has breathed on.

Deadpool was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of not staying dead, which he carried with him until he died, then came back. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Deadpool's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious sword, gun, or shoryuken related injuries.

Bill Brasky must be awknowledged!

Originally posted by Marcus4600
Deadpool has two speeds: Walk and Kill

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Deadpool has breathed on.

Deadpool was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of not staying dead, which he carried with him until he died, then came back. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Deadpool's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious sword, gun, or shoryuken related injuries. hysterical

Originally posted by Swanky-Tuna
Bill Brasky must be awknowledged!

Bill Brasky is a funny individual.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Deadpool.

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Deadpool doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

Deadpool shot the sheriff, but he shorykened the deputy

That's not what I meant...

Originally posted by Swanky-Tuna
That's not what I meant...

182,000 Canadians die from Deadpool-related accidents every year.

LMAO... BLAME CANADA!!!!

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Deadpool pajamas.

Deadpool is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

Deadpool eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

bump

Deadpool is currently suing NBC because Law and Order are what he calls his right and left legs.

Deadpool eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

Deadpool uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

Think of a hot woman. Deadpool did her.

When Deadpool does pushups, he doesn't so much push himself up, as he pushes the earth down.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Deadpool.

Deadpool doesn't sleep; he waits.

Deadpool doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Deadpool gave the Mona Lisa that smile on her face.

Deadpool is the reason why Waldo is always hiding.

This thread is an insult to the awesomeness of Deadpool. How dare you associate him with that hack Chuck Norris. You should all be ashamed.

Damn straight.

That's why this is going on. Deadpool deserves to be the ones on these facts, not Chuck.

If tapped, a Deadpool Shoryuken punch could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

No, these jokes are stupid.

Deadpool deserves his own jokes, not some stupid Norris-rip-offs, that are Brasky-rip-offs.

FINE

One day, Deadpool walked into a bar with Cable. A beautiful young woman came up and asked Cable if he wanted to go and have sex with her. Deadpool then told her "Unless you want lead poisoning, I wouldn't do that."

Cable then blew Deadpool's mind.


The end.

Lame.

Originally posted by Nataku8188
Lame.

Ya know, if you don't agree with the point of the thread, why on earth are you commenting?

Because you're disrespecting Deadpool.

How so? You're killing the fun here.

By making stupid jokes. Try being original and using some actually funny jokes. Chuck Norris jokes are the FOTM.

Well, if you're not impressed, nor find it funny, go right ahead and do it yourself.

That's like telling me to go to open mic night to actually do jokes instead of laugh at the people who suck.