DigiMark007
...bored while skipping classes....enjoy.
KMC Authority Chronicles
Book Number The First
The Adventures of Mr. Majestic, Quick Freeze and Spider-Man Prime
And thus it was, that, with the Earth threatened by rabid fanboys who had tapped into the Bleed, the gateway between realities, our planet’s 3 mightiest heroes had to join forces.
You see, the fanboys had tapped into a dimension that could grant them their every wish. And thus, thousands of Wolverine and Batman clones stalked the streets with claws that could tear holes in the fabric of reality and prep time that extended beyond time itself. And so 3 heroes whose powers of PIS were even greater than the fanboys had to stop them. Mr. Majestic, the least powerful of the group, who can pull powers out of his ass from such powerful entities as Superman, Flash, and Dr. Strange among others. Inventing new powers is what he does. Quick Freeze, an unholy amalgamation of Impulse and Iceman, both of whom have powers well beyond rational thought and debating prowess. He could stop entire civilizations with a speed-blitz blood-freeze. And Spider-Man Prime, who cannot be hit by anything, ever, due to his spider-sense that allows him to perceive the universe as though he were god, and because of his new Iron Spider costume which grants him all the power of every Iron Man ever combined. It also makes coffee.
*cue dramatic music…orchestra sweeps in*
“Wa-na-na-na-nananana Batman! … I mean Spider-Man!” exclaims Spider-Man Prime as he swoops in to New York. Suddenly New York vanished.
“Don’t worry,” said Mr. Majestic, “I just discovered a power that lets me teleport cities away. I sent it to the moon. Now we’ll have an easier time finding the fanboys.”
“But you just sent them to the moon too,” said QF. “They’re all dead.”
“Oh. Well, that solves that, then.”
Then, realizing that this could be the stupidest issue ever if Mr. Majestic did that to every city and ended the threat, the writers ret-conned that power.
“Damn. It was only because of the presence of the Fibulon Galaxy in the Dratok Sector that I was able to tap into their city-teleporting ability. I guess I can’t use that to end the threat anymore.” And there was much crying.
Suddenly, a Wolverine jumped out of the Bleed and slashed a hole in Quick Freeze’s soul. “Ouch. My inner being!” he exclaimed. Then there were many more, and soon the heroes were overwhelmed.
“I can’t be hit by anything” said SMP, “but I can’t hurt them either. They seem to be able to heal back to 100% from just a drop of blood.” And so he dodged for hours, as DigiMark smiled appreciatively knowing he could use this feat on the forums.
Quick Freeze had technically died, but he could exist as water vapor due to his Iceman half. The water vapor moved at the speed of light x 100, and drowned many of the Batmans by existing everywhere in him at once so he couldn’t breathe. Unfortunately, Batman had prepared for this with his prep and experimented on himself genetically to give himself gills. One of them suctioned the oxygen out of QF and he floated toward the heavens as if on an acid trip of the gods.
“But wait!” said MM. “If SMP can’t be hit by them, then why don’t I use my turn-dodging-into-offensive-fire-power power and give it to him?” And thus, with this power, SMP’s infinite dodging power negated Batman’s infinite prep and Wolverine’s infinite everything-but-prep, and Majestic was able to use his “Kill Everything Now” power to finish the job.
Earth was saved. Until X-Men 3, the movie, when the fanboys will be spawned anew and raid the forums with stupidity.
KMC Authority Chronicles
Book Number The First
The Adventures of Mr. Majestic, Quick Freeze and Spider-Man Prime
And thus it was, that, with the Earth threatened by rabid fanboys who had tapped into the Bleed, the gateway between realities, our planet’s 3 mightiest heroes had to join forces.
You see, the fanboys had tapped into a dimension that could grant them their every wish. And thus, thousands of Wolverine and Batman clones stalked the streets with claws that could tear holes in the fabric of reality and prep time that extended beyond time itself. And so 3 heroes whose powers of PIS were even greater than the fanboys had to stop them. Mr. Majestic, the least powerful of the group, who can pull powers out of his ass from such powerful entities as Superman, Flash, and Dr. Strange among others. Inventing new powers is what he does. Quick Freeze, an unholy amalgamation of Impulse and Iceman, both of whom have powers well beyond rational thought and debating prowess. He could stop entire civilizations with a speed-blitz blood-freeze. And Spider-Man Prime, who cannot be hit by anything, ever, due to his spider-sense that allows him to perceive the universe as though he were god, and because of his new Iron Spider costume which grants him all the power of every Iron Man ever combined. It also makes coffee.
*cue dramatic music…orchestra sweeps in*
“Wa-na-na-na-nananana Batman! … I mean Spider-Man!” exclaims Spider-Man Prime as he swoops in to New York. Suddenly New York vanished.
“Don’t worry,” said Mr. Majestic, “I just discovered a power that lets me teleport cities away. I sent it to the moon. Now we’ll have an easier time finding the fanboys.”
“But you just sent them to the moon too,” said QF. “They’re all dead.”
“Oh. Well, that solves that, then.”
Then, realizing that this could be the stupidest issue ever if Mr. Majestic did that to every city and ended the threat, the writers ret-conned that power.
“Damn. It was only because of the presence of the Fibulon Galaxy in the Dratok Sector that I was able to tap into their city-teleporting ability. I guess I can’t use that to end the threat anymore.” And there was much crying.
Suddenly, a Wolverine jumped out of the Bleed and slashed a hole in Quick Freeze’s soul. “Ouch. My inner being!” he exclaimed. Then there were many more, and soon the heroes were overwhelmed.
“I can’t be hit by anything” said SMP, “but I can’t hurt them either. They seem to be able to heal back to 100% from just a drop of blood.” And so he dodged for hours, as DigiMark smiled appreciatively knowing he could use this feat on the forums.
Quick Freeze had technically died, but he could exist as water vapor due to his Iceman half. The water vapor moved at the speed of light x 100, and drowned many of the Batmans by existing everywhere in him at once so he couldn’t breathe. Unfortunately, Batman had prepared for this with his prep and experimented on himself genetically to give himself gills. One of them suctioned the oxygen out of QF and he floated toward the heavens as if on an acid trip of the gods.
“But wait!” said MM. “If SMP can’t be hit by them, then why don’t I use my turn-dodging-into-offensive-fire-power power and give it to him?” And thus, with this power, SMP’s infinite dodging power negated Batman’s infinite prep and Wolverine’s infinite everything-but-prep, and Majestic was able to use his “Kill Everything Now” power to finish the job.
Earth was saved. Until X-Men 3, the movie, when the fanboys will be spawned anew and raid the forums with stupidity.
Perfect...
hysterical
Thanks guys. This was literally about 20 minutes worth of random bs-ing. Maybe I'll make a continuing series.
lol what? it never happened......dont you already have another story?