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Three years ago, my kid brother was accidentally killed by my father. He was backing up the truck to talk to my mother, and he ran right into the way. I was there when it happened, and I just can't stop blaming myself for what happened or get it out of my mind. If anyone could please offer advice that would be greatly appreciated.

Originally posted by psychoboy07
Three years ago, my kid brother was accidentally killed by my father. He was backing up the truck to talk to my mother, and he ran right into the way. I was there when it happened, and I just can't stop blaming myself for what happened or get it out of my mind. If anyone could please offer advice that would be greatly appreciated.

I don't know.

See the movie Ray, you are not alone.

Sorry about that.

Originally posted by psychoboy07
Three years ago, my kid brother was accidentally killed by my father. He was backing up the truck to talk to my mother, and he ran right into the way. I was there when it happened, and I just can't stop blaming myself for what happened or get it out of my mind. If anyone could please offer advice that would be greatly appreciated.

God has a reason for everything, even terrible things.

Sometimes it's hard for us to understand why he lets certain things happen.

I know for sure that you, your dad, and mother will not be the same.

How you change has yet to be seen.


Either way, it was not your fault, don't increase your pain by adding guilt that doesn't need to be there.


I will be praying for you.

Originally posted by sithsaber408
...Either way, it was not your fault, don't increase your pain by adding guilt that doesn't need to be there...

I agree, psychoboy07 it is not your fault.

Thank all of you for your help. I cannot express my gratitude in words, but I still thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I've know this to happen to someone else also.........The guy was in highschool...It was sad, but it is not your fault....Bad things happen to many people and then they blame themselves...

My Cousin killed herself at age 15 and her parents, her friends, and I blame ourselves.....It took me many years to get over it. People always think there could of been something they could of said or done to change what just is...........

Originally posted by psychoboy07
Thank all of you for your help. I cannot express my gratitude in words, but I still thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The reason I say see the movie Ray, Ray Charles had the same thing happen to him when he was a kid and he blamed himself all of his life. It took him a long time to realize, it wasn't his fault.

Originally posted by sithsaber408
God has a reason for everything, even terrible things.

Thus, he smote pyschoboy's brother?

please.

Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
Thus, he smote pyschoboy's brother?

please.

Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Originally posted by sithsaber408
Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

So, by your logic, the solution to the problem is for this kid to blame god's divine will for the death of his brother?

Why? Was he going to grow up to be a murderer or maybe he was going to talk his girl friend into an abortion someday. Please. If god does (or allows ) everything for a righteous reason, then he's doing a half assed job of it.

Originally posted by sithsaber408
it was not your fault, don't increase your pain by adding guilt that doesn't need to be there.
I will be praying for you.
is where you should have started and stopped.

Someone comes onto a movie forum and, after twenty-two posts, tells us that his dad accidently killed his brother, and asks for spiritual/psychological help. On a movie forum. Where he hasn't made any friends, and doesn't know anyone.

...I'm not quite sure what to make of this.

And apropos of nothing, but his first post was about a "sexy" tentacle scene in Pirates of the Carribian, and his post in the Introduction forum summarizes his fetishes (he gets of from looking at pictures of people being eaten--which makes his post in the horror forum asking for a picture of a woman being eaten by a painting suddenly seem a lot more creepy then it would have otherwise).

Sithsaber might say I'm being part of the problem, but I'm extremely suspicious of this person's sincerity.

Originally posted by Gregory
Someone comes onto a movie forum and, after twenty-two posts, tells us that his dad accidently killed his brother, and asks for spiritual/psychological help. On a movie forum. Where he hasn't made any friends, and doesn't know anyone.

...I'm not quite sure what to make of this.

And apropos of nothing, but his first post was about a "sexy" tentacle scene in Pirates of the Carribian, and his post in the Introduction forum summarizes his fetishes (he gets of from looking at pictures of people being eaten--which makes his post in the horror forum asking for a picture of a woman being eaten by a painting suddenly seem a lot more creepy then it would have otherwise).

Sithsaber might say I'm being part of the problem, but I'm extremely suspicious of this person's sincerity.

Exactly the reason for my initial glib response.

Perhaps now would be a good time to open a local phone book to govt white pages and find an appropriate number for assistance.

When I posted this thread originally, my intention was and remains to be, to ask for help.
Now, I realize I don't know any of you people. This just makes the information given better, as there will be no bias as to my situation. Secondly, the impact of my brother's death was brought painfully back to the surface recently, and I ask you not to inquire why.
Finally, my other posts have nothing to do with this thread. If you want to argue over my . . . personal interests, send me a PM and we shall gladly do it.

Originally posted by psychoboy07
When I posted this thread originally, my intention was and remains to be, to ask for help.
Now, I realize I don't know any of you people. This just makes the information given better, as there will be no bias as to my situation. Secondly, the impact of my brother's death was brought painfully back to the surface recently, and I ask you not to inquire why.
Finally, my other posts have nothing to do with this thread. If you want to argue over my . . . personal interests, send me a PM and we shall gladly do it.

Don't let people get to you. Arguing is a normal state for them.

Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
Why? Was he going to grow up to be a murderer or maybe he was going to talk his girl friend into an abortion someday. Please. If god does (or allows ) everything for a righteous reason, then he's doing a half assed job of it.


All God ask is that you stick with him until the end. Look at Job. God took away everything from him and many times Job had chances to go a route that turned away from God. But he didn't. In the end God gave him double of everything that he had tooken away. Sometimes God puts us through trials to make us stronger and teach us things. Besides, they're not our children. They're his. He gives and he takes away.

Originally posted by Punker69
All God ask is that you stick with him until the end. Look at Job. God took away everything from him and many times Job had chances to go a route that turned away from God. But he didn't. In the end God gave him double of everything that he had tooken away. Sometimes God puts us through trials to make us stronger and teach us things. Besides, they're not our children. They're his. He gives and he takes away.

God may have blessed Job with many more children, but this does not somehow replace the sons and daughters of Job that He killed, just as having another child does not replace a child who has died.

You first may want to consider overcoming your guilt with the help of a therapist. The act of discussing your feelings out loud may be an important step.

Originally posted by Storm
You first may want to consider overcoming your guilt with the help of a therapist. The act of discussing your feelings out loud may be an important step.
Indeed, they are far better trained for this than anyone here. And they usually have coffee and nifty couches, too.

Originally posted by Punker69
All God ask is that you stick with him until the end. Look at Job. God took away everything from him and many times Job had chances to go a route that turned away from God. But he didn't. In the end God gave him double of everything that he had tooken away. Sometimes God puts us through trials to make us stronger and teach us things. Besides, they're not our children. They're his. He gives and he takes away.

Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
So, by your logic, the solution to the problem is for this kid to blame god's divine will for the death of his brother?

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
God may have blessed Job with many more children, but this does not somehow replace the sons and daughters of Job that He killed, just as having another child does not replace a child who has died.

I dont know how Job felt. The Bible gives no indication of Jobs feelings. All it says it that "God blessed the later of Jobs days" which is good enough for me.

Well when you put one plus one together, Job was very devastated. And why would god let a righteous man suffer to that extent in the first place doesn't make since. As a competition between god and satan on who would Job be loyal/choose to obey?.....Creating a competition and tempting for loyalty is a human trait, not one that be of a god....God, in doing so, is "needing" the loyalty of Job. So, this god is flawed and is not complete and perfect in it's self.

Agreed. If God was all-good, all-mighty, and secure, he would not speak with the devil, all-evil, nor would he make deals with him to torment human beings. How you could see this story as good rather than bad is troubling.

Originally posted by debbiejo
Well when you put one plus one together, Job was very devastated. And why would god let a righteous man suffer to that extent in the first place doesn't make since. As a competition between god and satan on who would Job be loyal/choose to obey?.....Creating a competition and tempting for loyalty is a human trait, not one that be of a god....God, in doing so, is "needing" the loyalty of Job. So, this god is flawed and is not complete and perfect in it's self.

It wasn't a "competition". Satan didn't believe that Job truley loved and feared God. Satan told God that Job would curse him when all he had was tooken away. God knew Jobs heart and that what Satan proclaimed would never come to pass. Also God never let anything happen to Job that he couldn't take. There was many times he felt like giving up and many times he told that his pain was unbearable. But as we see in Job 5:25-27 God blesses the faithful. And all throughout the book of Job Job never cursed God. Not once! And for this he was found righteous in God's eyes and God restored him double than what he had before.

I think the story is beautiful. How everything Job had was tooken away but he still chose to serve God and in the end God restored him.

Why would God cause unneccessary suffering to a faithful and good follower just to prove the devil wrong?

I dont know. I know how it applies to my life. I think its an awesome story of how no matter what the Devil does he cant prevail when you have God on your side. And to stay faithful despite the hard times and God will restore you. Also the hard times are also part of Gods lessons for spiritual growth. Sometimes God lets bad things happen to us to strengthen our trust and dependence on him.

Originally posted by Punker69
It wasn't a "competition". Satan didn't believe that Job truley loved and feared God. Satan told God that Job would curse him when all he had was tooken away. God knew Jobs heart and that what Satan proclaimed would never come to pass. Also God never let anything happen to Job that he couldn't take. There was many times he felt like giving up and many times he told that his pain was unbearable. But as we see in Job 5:25-27 God blesses the faithful. And all throughout the book of Job Job never cursed God. Not once! And for this he was found righteous in God's eyes and God restored him double than what he had before.

I think the story is beautiful. How everything Job had was tooken away but he still chose to serve God and in the end God restored him.

No, God restoring what He had taken away from Job would be bringing his dead sons and daughters back to life. He simply replaced them. If I kill your parents, and replace them with four new parents, how would you feel? Do you think that would be fair?

I do not believe in God, but I believe that the universe controls all things.

It was the way of the universe for this to happen and you to not be able to stop it, though the reasons are unknown to us.

The universe to me is like The Force.
You can't blame yourself for what the universe does, hun

Myself, I wish there was more help out there for dealing with guilt of accidental occurrences. (This thread was one of the only things I could find on Google.)

Here's some scripture that's been helpful to me in the past:

Isaiah 43:18
Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
And even more encouraging:

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
No, God restoring what He had taken away from Job would be bringing his dead sons and daughters back to life. He simply replaced them. If I kill your parents, and replace them with four new parents, how would you feel? Do you think that would be fair?

Im sure if God was going to restore me and put his blessing upon my like that if would feel good. God knew what Job was feeling and what he had to do restore him. And after all the suffering Job endured im sure God didn't do it half-heartidly. In fact, we know by scripture he didn't do it half-heartidly.

Originally posted by sithsaber408
God has a reason for everything, even terrible things.

Sometimes it's hard for us to understand why he lets certain things happen.

I know for sure that you, your dad, and mother will not be the same.

How you change has yet to be seen.


Either way, it was not your fault, don't increase your pain by adding guilt that doesn't need to be there.


I will be praying for you. wait, according to intelligent design, there is no change.

Originally posted by Punker69
I dont know. I know how it applies to my life. I think its an awesome story of how no matter what the Devil does he cant prevail when you have God on your side. And to stay faithful despite the hard times and God will restore you. Also the hard times are also part of Gods lessons for spiritual growth. Sometimes God lets bad things happen to us to strengthen our trust and dependence on him. wait, god tortured a good person to prove the devil wrong? Isn't that a sin? How can you like that? You are sick.

See what happens when god's bored......bash

What ever you do, DON'T get god drunk.......lol

IMO, as someone in the field, this thread should've been closed after those posts.
But since it wasn't...

If the incident is significantly interfering with your ability to function in everyday life, then by all means, seek professional help.
1) Seek it not just for yourself. The whole family should be involved, as this affected the family. My guess is, this was more devastating to your parents, especially your dad.
2) Don't necessarily settle for the first therapist you go to, just like you wouldn't necessarily buy the first pair of shoes you try on. For therapy to be most effective, there should be a "proper fit" between therapist and client. The fit will feel right; you'll know it when it happens.

Good luck. Hold to hope, love and each other.

psychoboy...don't let this bantering get to you. religious debates won't help.

I think the idea of seeking therapy is a good one. Bad things happen in life. Therapy is the best way to get help. I think Mindship just offered good advice. This is a family problem...use them for support. Similar things happen to everyone. One of my friends was at a party and one of our friends got high and jumped off a three story balcony and died. She was there, what could she have done to help? If she had been paying attention, could she have done something? Perhaps I could have been there too keeping an eye on things. There are lots of what ifs. Its not about blame, sometimes you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time and you can't do anything to stop things. Its not your fault. Like any acciedent, there were many mistakes leading up to it. Its a terrible loss, but its not your fault and don't EVER make it out to be.

Originally posted by Punker69
Im sure if God was going to restore me and put his blessing upon my like that if would feel good. God knew what Job was feeling and what he had to do restore him. And after all the suffering Job endured im sure God didn't do it half-heartidly. In fact, we know by scripture he didn't do it half-heartidly.

That is not what I asked you. If I kill your parents, and replace them with four new parents, how would you feel?

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
That is not what I asked you. If I kill your parents, and replace them with four new parents, how would you feel?

If Gods blessing was on my life then yes, I would feel good.

Originally posted by lord xyz
wait, god tortured a good person to prove the devil wrong? Isn't that a sin? How can you like that? You are sick.



You're not in a position to tell the God that knew no sin what sin is. Your trying to understand a story with a limited and closed mind. Just like everything else you try to understand on this board.

Originally posted by Punker69
If Gods blessing was on my life then yes, I would feel good.

That is not what I asked you. If I kill your parents, and replace them with four new parents, how would you feel? Do you think that would be fair?

No.

But Job wasn't under normal circumstances like I previously stated so I dont see what your trying to prove.

Originally posted by Punker69
No.

But Job wasn't under normal circumstances like I previously stated so I dont see what your trying to prove.

Job was also not aware that he "wasn't under normal circumnstances" so your point is irrelevant.

By your own admission, if I were to kill your parents and replace them with four new parents, you would not regard this as fair.

This being the case, how is it fair for God to kill Job's children simply because He replaced them with other children?

Boy, that hits the point home........

too bad that doesn't help psychoboy07 at all...

Originally posted by Alliance
too bad that doesn't help psychoboy07 at all...

Every single thread in the Religion forum will turn into a whiny slap-fight between the Christians and atheists. Don't try to fight it.

oh I wasn't i just though that since this guy actually had a traumatic experience, people would be mature and sensitve and offer more advice than "god wanted it to happen" or "bad things happen" and then reducing it to some argument.

I thought people would be mature enough to keep it in the other threads and be helpful where it counts.

Originally posted by Alliance
oh I wasn't i just though that since this guy actually had a traumatic experience, people would be mature and sensitve and offer more advice than "god wanted it to happen" or "bad things happen" and then reducing it to some argument.

I thought people would be mature enough to keep it in the other threads and be helpful where it counts.

He is beyond help:

Originally posted by Gregory
Someone comes onto a movie forum and, after twenty-two posts, tells us that his dad accidently killed his brother, and asks for spiritual/psychological help. On a movie forum. Where he hasn't made any friends, and doesn't know anyone.

...I'm not quite sure what to make of this.

And apropos of nothing, but his first post was about a "sexy" tentacle scene in Pirates of the Carribian, and his post in the Introduction forum summarizes his fetishes (he gets of from looking at pictures of people being eaten--which makes his post in the horror forum asking for a picture of a woman being eaten by a painting suddenly seem a lot more creepy then it would have otherwise).

Sithsaber might say I'm being part of the problem, but I'm extremely suspicious of this person's sincerity.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
Job was also not aware that he "wasn't under normal circumnstances" so your point is irrelevant.

By your own admission, if I were to kill your parents and replace them with four new parents, you would not regard this as fair.

This being the case, how is it fair for God to kill Job's children simply because He replaced them with other children?

I never said it was fair. I said it God restored him in the end. And blessed him. That should be enough for any man. If having Gods blessing upon your life and having him restore you double isn't enough, I dont know what is.

Originally posted by psychoboy07
Three years ago, my kid brother was accidentally killed by my father. He was backing up the truck to talk to my mother, and he ran right into the way. I was there when it happened, and I just can't stop blaming myself for what happened or get it out of my mind. If anyone could please offer advice that would be greatly appreciated.

My sincere condolences go out to you. I cannot begin to imagine how you must feel about what happened to your brother. As many other posters have stated, it is not your fault. It may be best for you to address this with people who are closer to you. Perhaps family members or close friends can help you through this ordeal. It is definately not something to deal with alone, but at the same time it is best to have the support of people you have personal contact with daily, rather than friends and acquaintances you have gained online and may not have met in person.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
He is beyond help:

Perhaps, but perhaps these occourances are linked together. You make a valid point, but I'd rather risk being duped by and 4$$ than to actually harm someone who clearly need help.

Originally posted by Punker69
I never said it was fair. I said it God restored him in the end. And blessed him. That should be enough for any man. If having Gods blessing upon your life and having him restore you double isn't enough, I dont know what is.

If I killed your parents, and replaced them with four new parents, would you regard this as having been restored doubly?

I would think, that god would of restored the originial children being god and all........Brought them back to life, in the story of Job. How can you wipe out the memory of all your children and also their pain and suffering while they are in the midst of dying.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
If I killed your parents, and replaced them with four new parents, would you regard this as having been restored doubly?

Thats not the only thing. God blessed him. I think God took a little extra effort to restore Job. Since he took everything away. I dont think God did some half-minded job when he was going to restore him. And thats enough for me.

Originally posted by Punker69
Thats not the only thing. God blessed him. I think God took a little extra effort to restore Job. Since he took everything away. I dont think God did some half-minded job when he was going to restore him. And thats enough for me.

Maybe I'm just reasonable and smart, but I would think that God's blessing would be... not losing anything in the first place. No suffering is better than some suffering.

In all honesty you are already starting to recover, if you choose religion than you will find comfort in it, you will find equal comfort in therapy as well. All I can say is that if you choose religion then you have realized the most important thing of all, you want to be helped, not saved.

Originally posted by Janus Marius
Maybe I'm just reasonable and smart, but I would think that God's blessing would be... not losing anything in the first place. No suffering is better than some suffering.

Your not God. The Bible says his thoughts are not like our thoughts and his ways are not like our ways.

Originally posted by Punker69
Your not God. The Bible says his thoughts are not like our thoughts and his ways are not like our ways.

Then why do you call God a he? That sounds like God is just one of us.

So is God like us or not?

No.

my sincereness goes out to you. the way i see it, God needed your brother for other things not of this earth.

Thats not the only thing. God blessed him. I think God took a little extra effort to restore Job. Since he took everything away. I dont think God did some half-minded job when he was going to restore him. And thats enough for me.



Why doesn't he do the same for everyone who beleives?




God gives and he takes away


Doesn't this violate the idea of free will ?

Is he really in charge of everything then?

Which is it ? Destiny or Free Will ?