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Hey everybody, I dunno if anyone remembers me but I wrote a harry potter story a while back about my version of the sixth book (I sadly never finished that one). I know I'm a bit late on startin my version of the seventh book, seein as how tons of people have already started, but I hope to complete it. Please note that all of the story has come from my own mind, so please don't copy any of it, thanks. I'll hopefully be gettin a first post up sometime this week, cause im almost done rereadin HBP and I want to be sure that I know what direction I want to take the story in. I always write my stories off the top of my head with only a few major plot defining points pre-thought, and it seems to work just fine. so out for the first post of "Harry Potter and the Prophecy Fulfilled"!

u stole my title!!!o well ill get over it...cant wait till u start!

sounds cool. cant wait for the first post!

ohh dark dan fan im sorry man i didnt even see your title!! ill pm rex so i can change it, i didnt look hard enough to make sure no one took it, my fault. well, im off to think of another title, thanks for pointing that out. ill start postin soon!

yea i just pmed rex to change my title to Harry Potter and the Army of Dumbledore, so that is what the new title will be... sorry again dark dan fan! ill start soon

I'll be waiting.

Originally posted by joelsef
yea i just pmed rex to change my title to Harry Potter and the Army of Dumbledore, so that is what the new title will be... sorry again dark dan fan! ill start soon

no prob...

Can't wait to read it.

Harry Potter and the Army of Dumbledore


Chapter One- Another Broken Home

The first thing that Harry Potter noticed as he walked down the red carpeted hall of the homeward bound Hogwarts Express was the absence of a snide remark thrown his way from a compartment on his right. Glancing over his shoulder at the compartment the Slytherins usually took, he noticed that the group seemed unusually solemn without Draco Malfoy in their midst, cracking some cruel joke about the Weasley’s house or about Hermione’s heritage. Crabbe and Goyle were leaning back in their seats, staring emptily into the ceiling as if expecting Malfoy to fall through it. Pansy Parkinson was dabbing her eyes with an ornate handkerchief, and Blaise Zabini was examining his hair in a mirror, making sure that it covered one eye completely. At this, though, Harry could find no pleasure, because although Malfoy was gone for the moment, Albus Dumbledore was gone forever. No spell can reawaken the dead. Harry ruminated on these words Dumbledore himself had told Harry numerous times as he, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna looked for a compartment that would house all six of them. To no avail, Harry, Ron, and Neville decided to sit with Dean and Seamus, who had miraculously managed to convince his mother to allow him to complete his seventh and final year at Hogwarts. The girls, meanwhile, went to sit with Lavender Brown and Katie Bell, who had just finished her final year at Hogwarts and was glad to be headed home for the summer before she started looking for a job at the Ministry.
“So, how did you do it Seamus?” inquired Ron as he sat down next to Harry in the compartment. Harry laughed to himself as he saw green stains on the wall and knew that this was the cabin in which Neville’s Mimbulus Mimbletonia had erupted with Stinksap during their ride to school at the beginning of their fifth year.
“Well, it wasn’t easy, nearly had to put the Imperius Curse on her. I just told her that I would rather be at school with talented wizards and magic protecting me than at home where its only her who would stand between me and You-Know-Who,” replied Seamus. “I won’t pretend it wasn’t a struggle though, took me nearly two hours to even get me mum to listen to me. Oh well, might not matter huh, seeing as how Hogwarts might not reopen.”
Neville looked at Seamus as though he was trying to single out a single freckle on Seamus’ face. Evidently, Neville had not heard the news that Hogwarts’ reopening was currently up in the air.
“Yea, it’s a right shame,” said Dean shaking his head. “McGonagall said she left it up to the governors after the funeral. Weren’t you paying any attention Neville?”
“I don’t think any of us were Dean,” said Harry quietly. It was the first time he had spoken since boarding the train. His remark had quite ended the conversation, which was started again by Dean several minutes later.
“So, er, Harry, I happened to hear that you and Ginny, well, things didn’t work out?” he asked awkwardly. Ron sucked in air nervously and looked for Harry’s reaction, but his face remained expressionless as he looked up from the floor to Dean.
“Yea,” he replied, and returned to look at the ground, not wishing to talk about the matter any further. He was amazed by how fast word had spread, since he had broken up with her mere hours ago at Dumbledore’s funeral. He hoped Dean would take the hint.
“Well, that’s too bad Harry, but I didn’t really think things would work out anyway, I mean, she was just coming off a long relationship with me, and well, I- OW!” Dean looked over to see who had jabbed him in the ribs and it was Seamus, who was shaking his head. Seamus pointed to Harry with his head, and Dean looked to see tears falling from Harry’s eyes and onto the red carpet of the compartment. Dean appeared to be frustrated with himself as he tried to think of something to say to Harry.
“Look, Harry, I’m sorry, it was just weird y’know? I wasn’t ready at all for our breakup and I guess I’m not over it yet, sorry…” His voice faded hopelessly into nothing as the damp spot below Harry’s head continued to grow. Ron patted Harry on the back, and Harry looked up at them.
“It’s not that,” he said quietly. He stared at each of them as if he was wondering why they weren’t crying as well. “It’s just that… Dumbledore’s gone, and he’s never coming back.” And with that, Harry buried his face in his arms as Ron continued to pat him on the back. The compartment was silent for the next half hour, at which time Harry was still hidden in his arms, while Ron had quit patting Harry’s back and was now staring out the window blankly. Seamus and Dean had fallen asleep, but Neville was growing quite agitated.
“Oh, c’mon Harry! I know it’s sad that he’s gone, but crying like this isn’t going to bring him back. You and I have both experienced hard times in our lives, we’ve both lost our parents and the closest person to a parent, but sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves isn’t going to make things better. We’ve just got to, you know, bounce back and look forward.” He finished the last few words with a tone of uncertainty, as if expecting Harry to jump out of his seat and attack him. Much to his surprise, however, Harry looked up and Neville with a smile and wiped his eyes.
“You’re right, you know,” he said a little more loudly than he had been speaking before. Out of all the people to snap Harry out his horrible sadness, Neville was the last person he would have expected to deliver such a speech. “There’s no good in moping, I’ve got to prepare for my task.”
“What task?” Neville asked, and Harry remembered that he had not told Neville anything Dumbledore had been telling him all year. So Harry spent much of the ride explaining to Seamus, Dean, and Neville what he had to do, with Ron occasionally adding minor details Harry had left out. After he had finished, the three of them looked quite surprised at Harry.
“You’ve got to do all that?”
“With no Dumbledore?”
“And then you have to kill him?”
Harry nodded at all their questions. He felt as though none of them would ever feel the pressure he was feeling at this time; the pressure to save the Wizarding World.
“Well, I hope you don’t think that we’re not going with you!” Neville said proudly, and Harry looked him, Seamus, and Dean.
“You can’t be serious? It’s bad enough that Ron and Hermione have persuaded me to let them come along, I don’t know if taking three more people is such a good idea.”
Seamus snorted loudly. “Oh, so they’re allowed to come, but we’re not? C’mon Harry, we want to help! Voldemort’s our enemy too; we want to help destroy him! Besides, six people are better than three!”
“Seven!” said a voice from the compartment door, and they all looked over to see Ginny in the doorway, who walked into the cramped space followed by Hermione. Following her was Lavender, much to Ron’s displeasure, and Luna; both proceeded to sit on the far from clean floor, which was the only free space in the quarters.


that's all for now, more of chapter one real soon!

i have said this a million times to a million people. Harry, he doesn't cry his anger out he yells it out. And i don't think Harry would have told His other friends about his quest he would more than likely want to keep it a secret besides the fact that Hermione and Ron know of course but it's good otherwise

nice post. can't wait for more!

pretty good but as iluvhpsomuch1_7 said he does not cry he yells! but still very good update soon!and also this annoyed me and im very surprised it did cause usually spelling errors dont but its not spelled yea its spelled yeah with an H

thanks for the comments, i appreciate all the helpful pointers, and though i respect them, i am going to show you why i did the things i did with the story


yes i know that harry yells his anger out but did i write about him being angry??? in case u didnt notice, i carefully wrote it out so that harry was not angry like he usually might be, trying to blame someone, but that he was quiet and sad and solemn. So of course, when something tragic happens like Dumbledore's death "He clutched the cold locket in his hand so tightly that it hurt, but he could not prevent HOT TEARS SPILLING FROM HIS EYES" (HBP pg 644) (HELLO, HE CRIED!) harry shows emotion. plus he wasnt full out crying, i was careful about that too. it was just tears, just like the quote from HBP above, and when he buried his head in his arms i didnt say "his shoulders shook violently as he bawled", so he wasnt bawling, he was just showing some emotion like he did at the funeral. please know what you're talking about before you use it to critique someones work.

also, theres a reason he told seamus, dean, and neville, but it makes me tell a little about the book, which i dont want to do, but if its a problem you see then ill spill. i dunno if you noticed, but i changed the title to Harry Potter and the Army of Dumbledore. this of course means that there will be an army. duh. although it wont be the exact DA from OOP, it will mostly comprise of Order Members and Harry's friends. harry realizes now that he needs all the help that he can get after neville talks to him about not moping around. he feels that if he has friends by his side then he wont be as afraid (yes harry has fear). while you may disagree with this, and you are welcome to, it is my opinoin that harry will realize that he needs friends. i just wanted to tell you why i wrote what i did so you dont think im one of those people who dont even respond to their reader's contructive criticism.

plus, yeah technically isn't a word, so it can be spelled with or without the "h". i chose without because it was the shortest response harry could have delivered so i felt that it fit better.

now that those are all settled, ill post the next bit later. happy easter everybody!

um, sorry if i seemed really angry in that above post. im just having a horrible day. i dont want it to seem like i was yelling at you guys, i just wanted you to know why i wrote what i did. you are completely welcome to say what you want, and i look at all of your contstructive critisisms and make sure to see that i did not make an unwanted mistake. i think its fair that you guys know why i wrote what i did, its the least i can do for you all reading my story so thanks for the pointers, i hope i cleared everything up, sorry for the anger, and goodnight all!

That was really good but like iluvhpsomuch said, I still don't think that Harry would tell sSeamus and Dean. Maybe neville.

I like it though.

I've come to realize that iluvhpsomuch1_7 is right. It was stupid to have Harry tell the others, it goes against what dumbledore told him. so in light of this ive rewritten the first part of the chapter, and given it a new title. here we go..

Harry Potter and the Army of Dumbledore


Chapter One- A Very Unwelcome Welcome

The first thing that Harry Potter noticed as he walked down the red carpeted hall of the homeward bound Hogwarts Express was the absence of a snide remark thrown his way from a compartment on his right. Glancing over his shoulder at the compartment the Slytherins usually took, he noticed that the group seemed unusually solemn without Draco Malfoy in their midst, cracking some cruel joke about the Weasley’s house or about Hermione’s heritage. Crabbe and Goyle were leaning back in their seats, staring emptily into the ceiling as if expecting Malfoy to fall through it. Pansy Parkinson was dabbing her eyes with an ornate handkerchief, and Blaise Zabini was examining his hair in a mirror, making sure that it covered one eye completely. At this, though, Harry could find no pleasure, because although Malfoy was gone for the moment, Albus Dumbledore was gone forever. No spell can reawaken the dead. Harry ruminated on these words Dumbledore himself had told Harry numerous times as he, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna looked for a compartment that would house all six of them. To no avail, Harry, Ron, and Neville decided to sit with Dean and Seamus, who had miraculously managed to convince his mother to allow him to complete his seventh and final year at Hogwarts. The girls, meanwhile, went to sit with Lavender Brown and Katie Bell, who had just finished her final year at Hogwarts and was glad to be headed home for the summer before she started looking for a job at the Ministry.
“So, how did you do it Seamus?” inquired Ron as he sat down next to Harry in the compartment. Harry laughed to himself as he saw green stains on the wall and knew that this was the cabin in which Neville’s Mimbulus Mimbletonia had erupted with Stinksap during their ride to school at the beginning of their fifth year.
“Well, it wasn’t easy, nearly had to put the Imperius Curse on her. I just told her that I would rather be at school with talented wizards and magic protecting me than at home where its only her who would stand between me and You-Know-Who,” replied Seamus. “I won’t pretend it wasn’t a struggle though, took me nearly two hours to even get me mum to listen to me. Oh well, might not matter huh, seeing as how Hogwarts might not reopen.”
Neville looked at Seamus as though he was trying to single out a single freckle on Seamus’ face. Evidently, Neville had not heard the news that Hogwarts’ reopening was currently up in the air.
“Yea, it’s a right shame,” said Dean shaking his head. “McGonagall said she left it up to the governors after the funeral. Weren’t you paying any attention Neville?”
“I don’t think any of us were Dean,” said Harry quietly. It was the first time he had spoken since boarding the train. His remark had quite ended the conversation, which was started again by Dean several minutes later.
“So, er, Harry, I happened to hear that you and Ginny, well, things didn’t work out?” he asked awkwardly. Ron sucked in air nervously and looked for Harry’s reaction, but his face remained expressionless as he looked up from the floor to Dean.
“Yeah,” he replied, and returned to look at the ground, not wishing to talk about the matter any further. He was amazed by how fast word had spread, since he had broken up with her mere hours ago at Dumbledore’s funeral. He hoped Dean would take the hint.
“Well, that’s too bad Harry, but I didn’t really think things would work out anyway, I mean, she was just coming off a long relationship with me, and well, I- OW!” Dean looked over to see who had jabbed him in the ribs and it was Seamus, who was shaking his head. Seamus pointed to Harry with his head, and Dean looked to see tears falling from Harry’s eyes and onto the red carpet of the compartment. Dean appeared to be frustrated with himself as he tried to think of something to say to Harry.
“Look, Harry, I’m sorry, it was just weird y’know? I wasn’t ready at all for our breakup and I guess I’m not over it yet, sorry…” His voice faded hopelessly into nothing as the damp spot below Harry’s head continued to grow. Ron patted Harry on the back, and Harry looked up at them.
“It’s not that,” he said quietly. He stared at each of them as if he was wondering why they weren’t crying as well. “It’s just that… Dumbledore’s gone, and he’s never coming back.” And with that, Harry buried his face in his arms as Ron continued to pat him on the back. The compartment was silent for the next half hour, at which time Harry was leaning against the seat half asleep, while Ron had quit patting Harry’s back and was now staring out the window blankly. Seamus and Dean had fallen asleep, but Neville was growing quite agitated with the gloomy mood that resided in the compartment.
“Oh, c’mon Harry! I know it’s sad that he’s gone, but crying like this isn’t going to bring him back. You and I have both experienced hard times in our lives, we’ve both lost our parents and the closest person to a parent, but sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves isn’t going to make things better. We’ve just got to, you know, bounce back and look forward.” He finished the last few words with a tone of uncertainty, as if expecting Harry to jump out of his seat and attack him. Much to his surprise, however, Harry looked up and Neville with a smile and wiped his eyes.
“You’re right, you know,” he said a little more loudly than he had been speaking before. Out of all the people to snap Harry out his horrible sadness, Neville was the last person he would have expected to deliver such a speech. “There’s no good in moping, I’ve got to prepare for my task.”
“What task?” Neville asked, and Harry remembered that he had not told Neville anything Dumbledore had been telling him all year. Despite the guilt that was splashing around in his stomach, he decided it was for the better that he not inform anyone else about the task at hand.
“It’s nothing Neville, I’m just wondering if there’s anything I can do to make sure that Hogwarts reopens,” he said, hating himself for lying to Neville. Harry knew full well that the odds of returning to Hogwarts for him were slim to none given that he had to find the final four Horcruxes.
Neville looked rather dismayed. “I wish that there was something we all could do to help persuade the governors to reopen the school. Hogwarts is like my- my home, the only place where I had any friends,” remarked Neville a little sheepishly, and Harry smiled weakly at him.
“It’s all up to the Ministry now Neville, and I dunno how much Rufus Scrimgeour likes the school since I told him that I wasn’t going to be the Ministry’s mascot,” he said glumly. Neville seemed desperate to think of a way they could prevent the closure of Hogwarts.
“What if we all stayed on the train, y’know, refused to get off? They couldn’t use magic on us, so they’d have to keep the school open!” To this, Harry shook his head.
“It’s a good idea Neville,” replied Harry untruthfully, “but it’ll never work. We’d have to come off the train sometime, and besides, not enough people would go with it. A lot of parents are worried about their kids, and they’ll most likely come on the train to escort them home.” Neville looked determined to think of a better idea.
“Well, you’re probably right Harry, but if I think of a better idea I’ll send you an owl. Gran promised she’d buy me one after the good marks I got this year,” said Neville, looking very proud of himself. Ron snorted slightly, but pretended to be asleep as he switched positions in the seat.
The trolley lady knocked on the door just then. “Anything from the trolley m’dears?” she asked. Neville reached into his pocket and pulled out a few Sickles.
“Yeah, could I please have a box of Tongue Twister Taffy? Oh, and some Sour Pixy Dust too. Thanks a lot!” he said as the lady handed him the food. Ron had woken up and was now looking at Neville quizzically.
“But Neville, I always thought you hated the, er, spicy variety of food from the trolley? You said that your head almost exploded last time you tried Sour Pixy Dust.”
Neville smiled to himself as he unwrapped the Taffy. “Yeah well, I figure this might be the last time I ride the train, so I might as well try ‘em!” he said trying to sound brave but appeared to be sweating slightly. Dean and Seamus, both with eager looking expressions, were now awake to watch Neville attempt this dangerous feat.
“On the count of three Neville!” said Dean happily as Neville prepared to take a bite of the Taffy that he had covered in Pixy Dust.
“One, two, three!” they all shouted in unison as Neville shoved the Taffy into his mouth. Harry, Ron, Dean, and Seamus all looked at him with curious faces as Neville steadily chewed the Taffy. After what seemed like minutes, Neville finally swallowed the last bit of Taffy and looked right pleased with himself.
“Hey, that wasn’t so- AHHHH!!” The rest of the boys erupted in laughter as Neville’s face turned bright red and attempted to make a stream of water come out of his wand, only to overdo the spell in his haste and cause a flood to gush forth from his wand tip, soaking the whole room and everyone in it.

I liked it, but you should press enter to seperate the paragraphs. Makes it easier to read.

Originally posted by ~Dark_Dan_Fan~
pretty good but as iluvhpsomuch1_7 said he does not cry he yells! but still very good update soon!and also this annoyed me and im very surprised it did cause usually spelling errors dont but its not spelled yea its spelled yeah with an H

It's a fanfic. It's not going to be perfect to the book, and did you read his first post?

Everyone cries at least once in their life, and so what if Harry cries?

It's fictional it's not like your going to die if he cries

It's really good ^_^

I remember reading your 6th one but never commented i don't think hehe

pretty good Update soon!!!

heres more of chapter one everyone, and sorry midgnight miss i forgot to space out the paragraphs, but ill try and remember for the next one, it just takes up a lottaaaa space in microsoft word

As the train began to slow down, Harry felt his happy mood slowly dissipate. Most of the students were unloading their luggage from the luggage compartment, but Harry felt that the longer he could delay his inevitable departure from the train the longer he was able to feel somewhat happy. Somehow sensing this, the rest of his friends decided not to grab their luggage either, as they were deeply engaged in a competitive game of Exploding Snap.
There was a knock on the compartment door as Ginny, Hermione, and Luna walked into the already cramped quarters. Hermione looked quite displeased with the boys.
“Why haven’t you boys changed out of your dress robes yet? The train’s nearly stopped! Honestly, sometimes I don’t know about you lot,” she said in a very Hermione-ish way.
Ron looked up at her. “Well, d’you expect us to take off our robes with you three in here?” he asked her.
Hermione blushed at the thought and stole a quick glance at Harry, who was laughing at Ron’s remark. “No, no of course not, I fancy keeping my eyesight thank you,” she remarked, holding her head high. Everyone laughed except for Ron, who looked quite displeased with her retort. As usual, no one laughed louder than Luna, who nearly broke the glass with her high pitched shriek.
The train then came to a sudden halt, causing everybody to fall towards the front of the train. Seamus and Dean landed on Ron, who was nearly crushed beneath the combined weight of both of them. Neville and Luna had managed to hold onto the seat, but Hermione was completely taken by surprise and fell over Harry, smacking her head against the wall behind his seat.
“Hermione, are you-” Harry began, scrambling to look at Hermione’s head.
“HARRY, LOOK!” shrieked Ginny in terror as she pointed out the window. But Harry did not have to look out the window to know who was there. As everyone on the bus yelled in terror, he felt an icy cold feeling come over him, filling him up from head to toe. All the happiness he had been feeling on the train vanished, and it appeared to grow darker and darker although the lights in the train stayed lit. After lying Hermione haphazardly on the seat, he scrambled to the window, and then he saw them.
There were hundreds upon hundreds of Dementors floating just outside the train on Platform 9 ¾, all of them facing the train, looking poised to attack. It was as though a giant blanket of black material was enveloping the platform, upon which floated the Dementors, their chilling presence clearly felt throughout the whole train.
“Bloody hell,” whispered Ron hysterically, pushing himself out from Dean and Seamus to get a better look at the horde of Dementors.
“Where is everybody?” screamed Dean, shaking madly in his seat both from cold and fright. “How did they slip past our parents?”
“They must have been here before our parents arrived and sealed off the entrance. What are we going to do?” yelled Ginny through her hands. “Why hasn’t the ministry come yet?”
Harry shook his head angrily. “This is Hogwarts business; I’ll bet Scrimgeour decided that he was to have nothing to do with affairs at Hogwarts, including the train, but in the case of a Dementor attack… what a git! Stay here and take care of Hermione!”
He rushed out into the hallway that was filled with hysterical students of all ages who were jumping up and down in the corridor, screaming for the conductor (who had met a gruesome fate at the hands of a Dementor), huddled into corners, and basically doing anything but keeping their cool, which Harry knew was essential. It was time to take charge.
“Everybody listen up!!!” shouted Harry as loud as he could, but he could not be heard over the pandemonium. ‘I’ve never tried this,’ thought Harry as he placed his wand to his throat. He had seen Dumbledore and Fudge both do it to increase the volume of their voices significantly. Now was a perfect time to test it out. Placing the wand to his throat, Harry tried again to get the crowd’s attention.
“EVERYBODY LISTEN UP!” he yelled, and was almost taken aback by how loud his voice had become; it was much louder than expected. Everyone turned to stare at him, some excited, some nervous, most annoyed by the volume and were covering their ears. “UM, THANKS. I KNOW I’M NOT ONE OF THE TEACHERS, BUT I NEED EVERYONE WHO WAS FROM THE D.A. LAST YEAR TO COME OUTSIDE WITH ME AND FIGHT OFF THE DEMENTORS, AND EVERYONE ELSE I WANT IN THE LUGGAGE CAR NOW! WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME, SO HURRY!”
He half expected everyone to ignore his advice, but to his surprise, most of the students began moving towards the back of the train where the luggage was stored. Coming the other way were a few members of the D.A., and Harry was a little disappointed at the turnout until he realized that six of them were in the compartment behind him, plus Seamus. Stopping in front of him was Lavender Brown, carefully avoiding Ron’s eye, Colin and Dennis Creevey whom Harry had not seen for a few years, Ernie Macmillan, and Justin Finch-Fletchley. The rest had either graduated or run off to the luggage compartment in fright of the mass of Dementors gliding slowly towards the stopped train.
“WELL, GOOD THEN,” said Harry, looking around at all of them.
“Harry!” screamed Ginny, pointing to his wand, which Harry realized was still at his throat. Pulling it down with embarrassment, he quickly looked out the window to see the Dementors drawing ever closer.
“Sorry,” he remarked, “Now, does everyone still remember how do produce the Patronus Charm?”
Everyone nodded, except for Dennis Creevey who was just as tall as Harry’s shoulders and so pale he could have been a ghost.
“Dennis, go to the luggage compartment, we don’t wanna risk anymore people than we have to,” Harry said to him, and Dennis scurried away towards the end of the train, nearly tripping over his shoelaces.
“Harry, what about Hermione?” asked Ron in a voice Harry had last heard when they were standing in front of Hagrid’s giant monster Aragog. Harry instantly felt a wave of shame spread through his entire body: how could he have forgotten Hermione, who was still lying across the seats, unconscious.
“Ron, will you take her to the back, we can’t just leave her here,” Harry said quickly, nervously gazing outside at the Dementors who seemed to be close to entering the front of the train. Nodding, Ron scooped up Hermione and ran for the luggage car. Harry tore his gaze away from the figures of Ron and Hermione sprinting away, and looked at the small army he had amassed. “Right then, we all ready? Remember to think happy thoughts, ok? Let’s go, for Dumbledore!”

The character really do act like themselves, I mean, I can really picture Ron saying some of things you wrote. Good story! I liked it!

yea i it pretty good. But for Esaul- just think about it would Harry be the one to cry in front of a whole lot of people. Maybe in front of Ron and Hermione but not a lot of people. He was sobbing too i can understand a little crying i mean what do you expect Dumbledore died I cried too. But sobbing in Harry's position Harry's not that sensitive about that kind of stuff

i never said he made any noise when the tears fell, so it wasnt really sobbing. um, harry is very sensitive about dying, he kind of moped around in his bedroom for a month after sirius died. plus it was only four people he was with, and they were close friends. but anyway, if thats how you feel then thats perfectly fine, it really doesnt matter, its such an insignificant part of the story. heres more.

Harry led the others top the front of the train, where they were met by five Dementors who were circling the train exit as if awaiting their appearance. ‘Ok, think of something happy, something happy,’ Harry told himself nervously, but it was so hard to find a happy memory amidst the immense sadness he had been feeling. Just then, the feeling that he had when Ginny had run up to him and kissed after the Gryffindor Quidditch Team had won the cup rushed through him, and he knew that he was about to produce the best Patronus of his life just before he bellowed, “EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!” with the rest of the D.A.
The five Dementors in from of the train were evaporated instantly when ten bright white animals of various forms charged right through their cloaked bodies. Once the five were down; however, they were faced with hundreds more, all gliding directly towards them.
“Where the bloody hell is the ministry!!” screamed Dean while guiding his fox Patronus through three Dementors, whose cloaks then fell harmlessly to the floor.
Harry sent his stag in the direction of Lavender who was faced with at least twenty Dementors, a force of which her platypus could not hold off on its own. “I dunno!” he yelled back, “You’d think they’d at least be able to break through the magic placed around the platform entrance.”
“That would mean a lot of memory modifying!” shouted Luna from behind them, her unicorn breezing through a Dementor that had snuck up behind Seamus. “Imagine all the Muggles in Kings Cross who would be looking on, unless of course there’s a colony of Slithering Synekdytes out there somewhere. That would easily fix their memories; of course, they might be out of it for a few years.”
“I don’t give a damn about the Muggles!” Dean screamed in anger, totally ignoring Luna’s absurd comment about the Slithering Synekdytes. “Ten kids cannot hold off five hundred Dementors!”
“Harry, look!” Neville shouted to him from across the platform. He was doing quite well with his toad Patronus, and was fighting off the Dementors quite brilliantly. Harry looked to where Neville was pointing. About fifty Dementors had broken away from the group and were now attempting to break into the back of the train.
“No!” Harry shouted, and he began to run towards the back, dodging several Patronuses along the way.
He was nearly there when he tripped over something on the ground and smacked the front of his head hard on the concrete. Stars danced in front of his eyes and he tried to clear his head by shaking it. And then he felt it: a hot, smelly, morbid breath had enveloped his face. Sitting up quickly, Harry reached for his wand in his pocket, but could not find it. He tried to call his Patronus over, but when it didn’t come, he knew that in his broken concentration it had dissipated. When he looked up he could see that the Dementor had pulled back his hood and its hideous face was inches away from Harry’s.
Time seemed to stand still as Harry stared blankly into the eyeless face of a Dementor, it’s skin crusted and black, its circular mouth open wide, preparing to give the kiss. ‘I can’t believe that it’s going to end like this,’ thought Harry angrily. ‘I could have died any other way, now I don’t even get to start looking for the Horcruxes. Now I won’t be able to do Dumbledore’s memory justice.’
And then, Harry began to feel a strange tugging in his chest, the same kind of feeling he had when he had watched Dumbledore topple over the Astronomy Tower a few days ago. It was as though someone had grabbed onto his heart and was attempting to rip it out through his mouth. A strange warmness seemed to flow up Harry’s windpipe, it was eerily peaceful. This was offset by the cold and hollow feeling in his chest, as though he had not eaten for a week. But just as quickly as the feeling came, it vanished. Harry looked up and saw the Dementor’s cloak falling to the ground slowly, its body gone. He scanned in front of him to see what had saved him, but there was no time to search. Pulling himself up, he raced towards the back of the train, where the Dementors had just succeeded in opening the door.

that was good but i dont think I would use stars dancing in his eyes. Thats just in cartoons. I would have said- Harry saw bright white lights for a second and then Platform 9 3/4 with the hundreds of dementors focused into his view again.

and no i chose the wrong words. Harry wasn't sobbing but it says that tears were falling down his face and he buried his face in his arms. He's being too much like a drama queen. I dont think the real Harry would do that. He would take his anger and sadness out on someone else.

That was Wonderful! Post more soon!

ok iluvhpsomuch, i clearly remember JK using the term "stars exploding in his eyes" or something along those lines several times. i do not think it resembles cartoons in any way, i mean, i never said that there were starts in front of his eyes cirlcing his head like in the cartoons. besides, i dont like your 'alternate' sentence, it clearly doesnt fit into the story like mine does. and fyi, there is no real harry. harry potter is fictional, and this is my interperation of the books using my style. it does not have to be EXACTLY like JK Rowling would have written. if all the storeis here were, no one would bother to read them, the point of this place is to see peoples interpretations. ive already explained that harry can cry in really sad situations like he did at the funeral; hes not a raging ball of fire everytime someone dies. if you want to make him unable to cry in your stories then thats fine, but ive already explained why i made him cry in mine, so please let it go. like i said, its not a significant part of the story, so you neednt keep bringing it up. im tired of tryin to explain my view.

thanks midnight miss, ill try and get some up soon!

Good.

Calm down, these little things could at times develop into arguments.

haha yea you're right, i remember StueyG. i dont want there to be another argument at all. Water under the bridge i luvhp?

ok , heres a bit more, its kinda short, but im really tired.

Harry looked over his shoulder to see how everybody was fairing against the horde of Dementors, and from what he could tell everyone was holding off the Dementors pretty well. He suddenly remembered the thing he had tripped over in the first place, but he could not see it. Hoping very much that it wasn’t one of the D.A. he turned his head around and continued running for the back of the train, where more and more Dementors were filing in.
He pictured himself using Sectumsempra on Malfoy and screamed, “EEXPECTO PATRONUM!” Once again, the dazzling stag erupted from his wand and destroyed the Dementors that were waiting to enter the luggage car.
“HARRY!” shouted a voice from within the train, a voice Harry recognized as Hermione’s. He felt as though his stomach had fallen into his feet as he prayed that the Dementors had not kissed anyone inside the train. He tried directing his Patronus inside the car, but it was too small for the door.
“Time to see what you can do,” he said to his Patronus, and he directed it to advance through the side of the train. The stag broke into a run and hit the side of the train, causing it to break open, revealing a socking scene to Harry.
He saw Ron, Hermione, and Cho all using their Patronuses to try and ward off the front of Dementors, but he could see that they could not hold off all of them. He became very sick to his stomach as he saw Dementors bending over here and there, and a few students looking grayish pale and quite expressionless. He then saw a couple advance towards Hermione, whose otter was fading away.
“GO!” he screamed to the stag, pointing in the direction of Hermione. The stag charged through the Dementors that were surrounding her, and circled around to take out a few that were closing in on a group of first years who were looking absolutely terrified.
“Take that, and that!” he heard Ron shout exuberantly as his rat took out five Dementors with a powerful swipe from its tail. There were now fewer than twenty Dementors in the train, and they all lined up to attack Cho, whose swan had now completely vanished and she was backed up against the train wall, looking horrified.
“Harry, help me!!” she screamed, her whole body shaking as the mass of Dementors closed in around her. Just as he was about to send his stag over, he heard a loud ‘BANG!’ behind him, and he was hit in the back with something very large and heavy. He heard Ron yell in pain just before everything went black.

Nice Cliffy!

I hate Cliff Hanger;s though...too much suspence...

Post more soon! Like...tonight!

what the heck is your problem. I was trying to help. I knew it would. I'm just tryin to help and your taking it too offensively. And about Harry crying. I wasn't nessicarily talking to you. I was talking to Esaul. And I'm sorry for helping. Well trying to help actually. And just thought it would sound better that way. And you know what else. There is the real Harry. J.K.'s Harry is the real one because thats the one we base all our stories on. J.K. owns him so hes the real one. Stop being such a prat. I was just trying to help.

ok ok ok simmer. i was just sayin not all our stories have to be just like JK would have written them, thats the beauty of these forums. it just seemed like you were bein really picky. this combined with my bad mood these past couple of days has not led to a happy me , so im sorry once again for making it seem like im angry, cause im not, i hav no problem with you offering your advice, i just thought that you were bein a little too persistent on one little detail. im sorry for being a prat, i honestly dont want to be one .

ill hopefully get more up tonight, but ive been feelin unhappy all day, long story, but ill try to get more up. sadwalk

Anyways....hope you post more soon.

im glad you agree with me that you were being a prat. But like I said i wasn't nessicarily talking to you about the crying. I entended for it to go to Esaul. But seeing that he'll never get on! Grrr I'm mad at him. Me and him are good friends. I'm pissed off because I'm doing a role play with him and Im just starting and I need the link. He can't give it to me because HE'S NOT ON! lol
Oh and I never said that i wanted all of our stories to sound like J.K.'s. No story will sound like hers. I have no clue where you got that from but I never said that.

i guess i just wasnt used to hearing people point out my story's weak spots, so i reacted in the wrong way. i hope we can put it all behind us because i think offering some pointers is helpful every now and then. i miiight post more tonight, my friend might hav a bonfire tho. if he does not ill be sure and get more up!

do you have a screen name?

Good to see everythings sorted out.

iluvhpsomuch, when you say you need a link to a roleplay, do you mena Dark Lords Return?

yea thats the one

Oh and I was the one that sorted you by the way....if you wanted the link I could give you! But then PMs doesn't let Proboard or ************ links on it.

Wonder if it'll work on here...

http://s15.************.com/Dark_Lords_Return/index.php?

Edit: Hmmm...didn't work. But all you have to do is replace the stars with invision free.

GREAT NOT AS GOOD AS MINE THOUGHT BUT HONESTLY IT'S REALLY GOOD BUT I STILL THINK MINE RULLES

Harry potter and the castle dragon and demon
RULES

thats not conceited.... but yea, ive been kinda tied up lately, ill try and get more up as soon as i finish writin it

sorry for the delay i've been visiting colleges for the past two days but finally here's more.

Chapter Two- Rufus Scrimgeour’s Grudge

Harry stepped over the smoldering ashes of the remains of a house, located on the top of a hill in the English Countryside. Small streams of smoke still rose above the charred remains of wood and metal, and there seemed to be an unusual coldness present in the area. Harry’s scar began to burn, and as he kept walking towards the center of the house the pain increased and increased until he was forced to squint to keep his eyes open. No matter how much he wanted to stop, something was compelling him to continue. ‘I’m almost there,’ he thought. ‘I’m close to finding what I need to find, something important, a key part to the puzzle.’ His eye caught a tiny glimpse of gold among the blackened wood before a gray hand snatched it away. Looking up suddenly, Harry saw the snakelike nose and bright red eyes through the hood of the thief’s cloak before his scar exploded with pain and he awoke with a start.
He looked around the room he was in. It was square shaped with white walls that had nothing hanging on them. A nightstand next to his bed had a vase on top of it and the flower inside was wilting from lack of water. There were a few cupboards here and there, but for the most part it was a blank room. He was slightly confused as to where he was until he saw the divider to the left of his bed and he knew that he was in St. Mungo’s.
There was hardly any lighting in the room except for a small lamp on top of one of the cupboards that gave off a soft, yellow glow. Because there were no windows in the room, he could not tell if it was night or day, or even what day it was. Harry racked his brain to remember why he was here. There were Dementors I the luggage car, he knew that much. How had he blanked out though?
Before he could get too deep into his thoughts, he heard a noise to his left and a door he had not noticed opened up and a nurse walked in, shouting to someone in the hall.
“There’s not much we can do with her. You’ll have to call her parents of course, let them know, but there’s really nothing that can be done. Give her a room I suppose, and have someone keep her company till her parents arrive,” she finished as she shut the door and turned to look at Harry.
“What happened?” he asked, “Is someone hurt?”
The nurse put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips. “You don’t remember anything, do you dear? Well, I suppose I could at least let you know why you’re here, but they don’t want me talking.”
“Who’s ‘they’?” Harry asked with heightened curiosity; the last thing he needed was someone else keeping information from him. He was interrupted when the door opened once more and a very tired looking Mr. Weasley walked in.
“Thank you Patricia, but I think that I can fill him in if that’s alright with you,” he said politely. Patricia shrugged.
“He’s all yours m’dear,” she responded in a weary voice. “I better tend to some of the other younguns on this floor. Call me when you’re finished, Mr. Potter will need a new dose of pain medication in an hour.”
“That should be plenty of time,” Mr. Weasley smiled, and Patricia walked slowly out of the room as if she did not look forward to her task. Mr. Weasley got down on his knee and looked at Harry. “How are you feeling, Harry?” he asked concernedly.
Harry hadn’t really thought about his physical condition. He did notice a dull ache in the center of his back, but that was about it. “Well, my back hurts, but that could be from lying down too much; how long have I been here, Mr. Weasley?”
“All in good time Harry,” he responded calmly. “You, Ron, and Hermione sure put up a good fight against all those Dementors, You-Know-Who won’t be happy to know that he has lost ninety percent of his cloaked army.”
“Oh, they’re breeding,” Harry added, “Dumbledore told me last year.”
Mr. Weasley looked a little disappointed. “Well, that’s beside the point, isn’t it? The bets story we could get out a student that wasn’t too scared to talk was that a few Dementors attacked the conductors who happened to be the only adult wizards on the train. You see, we rather thought that the Ministry would have placed guards on the train or at least at the station.”
“You mean they didn’t do anything?” asked Harry in disbelief.
“Sadly,” said Mr. Weasley shaking his head. “The Minister apparently thought that the train and the station were Hogwart’s business and that he had no obligation to intrude on their territory. At least, that’s what he’s telling the Daily Prophet; he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries.”
“That’s rubbish,” responded Harry with disgust. “Scrimgeour didn’t send help because he’s got a thing against me ever since I told him off at Dumbledore’s funeral. I don’t expect him to help us out in any way.”
“Now, we can’t jump to conclusions Harry,” he said, eyeing Harry with care, “but you have a pretty good theory,” he added quickly, noting Harry’s angry expression. “Nevertheless,” he continued, “it seemed as though the Dementors snuck into the station via a Portkey. How the Ministry didn’t pick up on an unauthorized Portkey is-”
“That’s because Scrimgeour doesn’t care!” Harry fired heatedly, sitting up in his bed.
Mr. Weasley held out his hand to stop him. “Please let me finish, Harry. It seemed as though a Death Eater or two came with them and enchanted the barrier with several defense charms. Anyone who approached it from the other side was immediately confused and ran off to make their dentist appointments. In addition to that, anyone who managed to get past that charm was met with a Storm Charm, which created drastic weather conditions inside the barrier, which is so small that the storms were concentrated to astronomical intensities. Finally, any jinx, curse, spell, enchantment, or charm we tried to use to break down the barrier was reflected back upon ourselves. Things looked quite hopeless. It took at least half an hour to set up another gateway to Platform 9 ¾ , at which point we could attack the barrier from the other side. Unfortunately, the barrier was charmed from the inside as well with an Exploding Enchantment, so that the combined power of all our curses blew the barrier into a million pieces, which were scattered into the station and enchanted to strike the nearest human body. This is what hit you and most of your friends.
Luckily, after we broke in the Dementors dispersed, but most of the damage was done by that point. I’m afraid that the Dementors’ cloaks were indeed Lethifolds which of course suffocate their victims. This, combined with trauma from the Dementors has killed twenty students and injured at least a hundred more.”


sorry, i have to stop here, more later!

comments?

ok here's some more, it's kinda short but it's all i had time for, enjoy!

Harry gulped. “By killed do you mean…”
“No, thank goodness Harry. You see, the bodies of young wizards are not fit enough to withstand the torture of extracting one’s soul. All of the students who were about to be kissed died before the Dementors could get to their souls. When someone dies, of course, the soul leaves the body, so no one had to endure the Dementors’ Kiss. But still, twenty dead students is a significant number; this could seriously injure Hogwarts’ chances of reopening next year.”
Harry glanced around, determined not to look at Mr. Weasley. He had not yet broke the news to any Weasleys that not only he but Ron and Hermione had decided not to come back to Hogwarts next year, even if it did somehow manage to stay open. “Do you know who was killed?” he asked timidly, both wanting and not wanting to know.
“I do,” replied Mr. Weasley grimly as he pulled out a folded sheet of parchment from his robe pocket. He began to hand it to Harry, but hesitated. “Are you sure that you want to see this list Harry? There might be some people you know on here, and in your condition-”
“I’m going to find out anyway, aren’t I?” Harry responded tiredly, and Mr. Weasley handed him the sheet. Harry had trouble unfolding it because his hands were shaking so badly, but eventually he opened up the parchment.

FATALITIES
- Henry Thorton, first year
- Robert Everett, first year
- Francine Parker, first year
- Thomas Hart, first year
- Ebony Windsor, second year
- Dennis Creevey, second year

Harry cringed as he read the name of Colin’s little brother who had sent back to the luggage car. Thoroughly flooded with guilt, he forced himself to keep reading.

- Oliver Hanzet, second year
- Kevin McBerkol, third year
- Rose Gention, third year
- Evan Sandal, third year
- Fred Nott, third year
- Jonathon Lovegood, third year

‘There’s a son of a Death Eater in here,’ thought Harry, ‘but there’s also Luna’s younger brother. She’ll be so devastated.’

- William Smoth, fourth year
- Alyssa Hettal, fourth year
- Frank Perzona, fourth year
- Dianna Richards, fourth year
- Peter Dane, fifth year

‘Now it’s getting bad,’ he thought nervously, ‘there’s going to be sixth years on this list, probably some from the D.A.’ Holding his breath, he read the last three names.

- Lavendar Brown, sixth year
- Justin Finch-Fletchley, sixth year

“These kids didn’t deserve this,” he said shakily, holding the paper so tight it looked as though it was about to rip. He looked back down at the paper and realized that he had only read nineteen names. Despite desperately not wanting to look, he made his eyes move slowly down the page until he saw the bottom name on the list.
“Oh my God,” Harry said out loud as he stared down at the twentieth and last name.


hehehe, i'm gonna leave you all with a cliffhanger, sorry!!

does anyone read my story anymore?

mmmmmmm.....mmmmmmm.mm.. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*crying* almost literally. That was a realli realli realli good post. I luved it. Great cliff hanger. And one question? Your signature is that realli you?

ill have my picture up soon

Hurry and post! you can't possibly leave us for too long, could you?

Hurry!

ok here it is

nice pic! it doesnt look like a school pic tho, o well, ill try and get the next part up sometime this weekend!

You'd better!

oh yeah i forgot to tell you its not my school pic. I couldn't find it so i took another good picture lol i know its kinda small but oh well lol. Can't wait for more

can't wait for the next post.... please don't make me wait too long!

hey sorry its been a while since ive posted, but ive been busy with school and some friends of mine are havin some serious problems, and posts will continue to be infrequent as exams are coming up coupled with a summer job i'm gettin but i will still make my best attempt to continue the story. I've only got a bit written so I'll post that.

-Cho Chang, sixth year

It was as though Harry’s brain had frozen in time; he was not able to think at all. He continued to stare down at the blank paper as Mr. Weasley got up and tried to grab the paper from his hands.
“I’m terribly sorry Harry; this must be awful for you. But you should think of how many lives you guys saved by taking action where the ministry failed. I’m going to need that paper back though. I’ve been warned not to show it to anyone until the reports are official,” he said to Harry, becoming a bit agitated when Harry would not let go. “I’m sorry Harry, but you’ve got to give me the paper back,” he added, trying to sound polite.
Still, Harry would not let go. All he could think about was Cho: how he should have paid more attention to her, how he should have tried to get her back, how it wasn’t fair that she died, with her whole life ahead of her. The strongest emotion Harry was feeling; however, was passionate rage towards the Ministry for not acting.
He tore the paper away from Mr. Weasley’s hands, standing up despite his tremendous back pain. “YEAH, WELL, WHERE THE BLOODY HELL WAS THE MINISTRY, HUH?!” he thundered to Mr. Weasley as though he was shouting at him from across a stadium. “SCRIMGEOUR DIDN’T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT HE WOULD BE HELPING ME! THIS STUFF ABOUT HIM WANTING TO RESPECT HOGWARTS BUSINESS IS TOTAL RUBBISH! IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD BE BLOODY NARCED AT YOU’RE BOSS IF HE LET FIFTEEN KIDS FEND FOR THEMSELVES AGAINST HALF A THOUSAND DEMENTORS!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE MINISTER’S HEAD?!” And with that, Harry tore the paper into a thousand pieces, letting them all fall slowly to the floor. Mr. Weasley stared back at Harry with an expression of great sorrow.
“Harry-” he began weakly.
“NO!” Harry interrupted, his face bright red with anger. “NO, THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED, AND HE SHOULD PAY FOR IT. I HOPE VOLDEMORT GETS TO SCRIMGEOUR BEFORE ANYONE ELSE; I WANT TO SEE HIM SUFFER AS HE GET TORTURED TO-”
“Ahhh, I’m afraid that’s already been tried,” said an arrogant yet weak voice from behind the curtain that Harry was sure he’d heard somewhere before.

Great post! Good luck on the exams, mine are coming up as well. This is a really good story, can't wait for the next post

omg

so i read this whole thing and LOVE it.
but I guess it has dwindled. IT'S SO GOOD.
hmm, anychance of writing any more?

*sigh* Wow I forgot how me and joelsef became friends lol. Now I remember. Same thing happened with Esaul lol. You posted that a while ago Magnolia. But joelsef won't be posting. Haha sad I know, he said he has too many things to do. He doesn't check KMC often anymore. *Tear*