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Darn jezzebels, git up on the table and dance to the fiddle and git me some more whiskey and beer ..............

Yeehaa, whiskey and beer and girls to cheer.

darn you`re rhyming booooyy

Whiskey Thursday again !!! Woo-hoo !! Now war be that durn ToMacckey feller ? He be a late agin ! Gonna have ta give him a real lickin' this time !

beat up DeWayne Pine Gundy, that no good two timer from Minnesota aint worth a cow dung

Ah haa!!!!!!

See? I made it here with ten minutes to go!

I'm a little tired today, didn't get my usual nap after work. I should have gone to the bar for some whiskey.

ToMorrow ( ) I'm going to the Apple River. You camp out, then a bus drives you several miles upstream. Then you float down the river on an inner-tube. The great thing is, you can get an inner-tube for your cooler full of beer!!!!!! It's always a blast. This is my fourth year in a row going.

There are literally thousands of people floating down the river, having a ball. I can't wait.

I'm chosing my weapons for this weekend. Here is what I'm thinking of taking for two days of chaos.

case (24) of Budwieser cans
case of Coors cans
6-pack of Mikes Hard Lemonade
bottle of Southern Comfort and/or bottle of Jack Daniels
2 packs of Camel Lights

sounds like you gonna run short on booze

You're right. I better get more.

*in a Vaderish voice*
"the norse blood is in your veins young TO,.....but you are not a Viking yet"

To - that sounds great ! Don't forget your lightsabre !

Take some vodka too, I've had an unbearable craving for it recently.

That does sound like fun!!
Just dont throw those empty bottles into the river Mr.!!!!

You're going to have shrinkage, you know.

Yup, I had some major shrinkage. But at least I made it back alive. It was lots of fun. Tons of beers and tons of boobs.

Sounds like a guy's paradise.

Heaven. Truly heaven.

shrinkage? Oh, wait. I think I don't want to know.

oh great... mental picture...of To...
*shudders*

well... I won't get THAT image out of my head for the next 15 years...

*blinks*

ow wait... I just did

The problem with shrinkage is it takes so damn long to "thaw out", if you get my meaning. You're not usually back to "match fitness" till the next day.

*whistles innocently, looks around*

Can I take you for a drink dear? And dinner after? A hotel after that perhaps?

Can we stop with the shrinkage conversation. I'm getting mental images.

I'm back to normal gerth now.

To :


queeq - yes darling, that sounds wonderful. I know this nice big hotel where Jack Nicholson is staying.

Good lord.

Remind me not to rent the room next to you guys.

I'll be down the hall playing cards with Jack.

you forgot the drinking part again

Drinking is a pre-requisite of playing cards.

I was talking about after the cards ofcourse, say an hour or 7 later

Hey ToMacco - tell Jack to move over. Scatman's here.

Scatman John?

I'll play. I happen to be a master of the 52 rectangles.

Go fish.

No pairs.

The deck is fixed.

what did he do to deserve no kids?

That was just absolutely hilarious.

I joke to laugh

I think its time you got out of the printer.

But I like it there! It's so warm and soft and very secure!

You're getting quite dirty you know.

how can you know? I'm still in the box! ... have you been peeking again?

Maybe that big blotch of ink on the end of your nose gave you away...

well, if you can give me another way to contact pinkie the elephant, I like to hear it!

Ow! there he is!
*starts jumpins up and down, hands in the air*

I refuse to respond to that.

*drinks shot of whiskey*

Pinkie! huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug!!!

*hugs pinkie the elephant*

Response:

nah, too expansive

What were y'all talking about before?

something... I dunno... drinking probably

Sweet, sweet sweet.

It's an hour before Whiskey Thursday, and I'm drinking whiskey.

Does that make me a cheater?

To what is those crds doing up your sleeve

*sings childishly*

cheater ! cheater ! cheater !

Cheater cheater pupkin eater had a wife but couldn't keep her.

Close enough.

Did you learn itsy-bitsy spider or inky-dinky ?

itsy bitsy. Didn't everybody?

no

I learned inky-dinky and my brother and sister learned itsy-bitsy. Figure that one out.

the world sure is a mystery

I find inky-dinky is in the minority group.

Did your parents just change their minds between conception?

I'm not sure. I'll have to ask mom.

hmm itsy bitsy

It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini
That she wore for the first time today.
An itsy bitsy teentie weenie yellow polka dot bikini
So in the locker she wanted to stay.
Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more"- Brian Hyland

My mother used to sing that song to me after I got my first bikini

My first bikini was orange and white striped. My parents have pictures of me in it. I was like 5 or something. I'll have to scan it in here.

finally a bikini shot

Not gonna be too much in it you know...

send us a resent one then

Well I still haven't found that roll of film we shot last August in Cape Hatteras. Its somewhere in the house.

yeah right

No I'm serious. There was this thing down there that looked like a real flying saucer and it was actually a little house that somebody lived in. Tommy took this picture of me, crouching in front of it, arms thrown up in terror. I told him to take it for the specific purpose of posting it here and I can't find the film !!!

hmmm. so where are those bikini shots again

Pay first.

I thought he had an expense account.

Quick Question: Is it OK to drink Whiskey when it isn't Thursday?

not a problem for me

because you don't drink whiskey, right?

because I hate rules

I'm sure ToMacco wouldn't mind you drinking whiskey...anytime !

unless it's his wiskey

mah has a point there. Stay away from the bottles that say "rat poison". ToMacco labels them like that so nobody drinks them. But I didn't tell you that. *waves hand casually in Jedi-like manner*

My first bikini was when I was about eight and my parents got it for me when they went for their second honeymoon. My most recent one was an American flag patterned one witha handkherchief top. It's the cutest swimsuit that anyone has ever put on.

And following that information, I think there may be some whiskey in that Jar, time to liberate it methinks, maybe it's too early, oh well too late.

but today is thursday (thirstday ) so git them whiskey on the table, and girls dance on the tables

Woo-hoo ! WHISKEY THURSDAY !!

Now whar be that durn ToMacckey feller ? And I told yer a hunert times afor, finti, I ainta' dancin on no damn tables !

git up on them tables and put on a show Gundy, put on that bikini as well

Oh, hell. I'm late again.

Looks like I'll be drinkin' the whiskey alone. *sigh*

Why do I always have a headache on a Friday morning?

*hides the cute little viking battle axe*

Sounds like Corran is having a case of Big Head Fred.

I told you to get that battle axe out of Corran's head sooner, finti

*sprays the water bottle in mini-finti's face*

Corran, if I DON'T wake up with a headache on a Friday, I know something went wrong.

You mean finti has a mini-me clone ? Does it have a mullet ?

The mullet is regular size.

II
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Oh wait, that doesn't make sense.

tried to make an arrow pointing down to my sig

Next try to make an arrow to my foot which will be kicking your ass.

keep on dreaming redneck

Rednecks dream?

Redneck?

I actually do work with a Redneck. He wears a hat every day, he smokes his Camel unfilters, and listens to shitty music. That dude needs a slapping.

Go ahead then.

He's a nice guy, but come on! What is his deal?

Slap him to find out.

I don't want to slap his sunburned neck.

chill out Dewayne Pine and spit out that tobacco chew you got.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a "redneck" joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs.. and a redneck. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs.. and a redneck. The fella next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs.. and a redneck.
Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times."

Now that was funny !

I think the guy may have been To.

the joke-telling guy or the redneck-guy?

The guy who was gonna tell the joke.

I heard To gets beat up in movie theatres.

Hey, when I see a bad movie, I make crude comments throughout. I've never been beaten up in a theator.

I like to be the funny guy in any situation.

ever succeeded?

Only once.

and with real audience?

Nope. Colobus monkeys.

They laugh at anything.

Are they the ones with bald asses ? They're disgusting.

so what you are saying Gundy is that you have a hairy ass

No, I was referring to the monkey's asses. Those ones with the bald asses are the screaming ones, aren't they ?

you mean tex?

Yes. Must be those Bjork monkeys then.

Screaming and bold these monkeys are

or perhaps you should say bald

no, bold is better, o is a nicer letter than a!

If we only used letters we liked then I would never use j's. I don't like that letter. Or q's.

wht mks y thnk tht?

That may work but the question is whether this spelling rule would effect the linguistics employed in saying the words after losing some of the letters

Js seem mean IMHO. And Qs are boring.

it's thursday here, so let's drink on that!

It's still Wednesday over here.

not over here!

None of us "yanks" can drink until tomorrow.

that's ok... I'll drink for you

I've been drinking for the last 5 hours, but I still remembered that it was whiskey Thursday once midnight struck, even I'm impressed with that.

I've got an hour and a half until Whiskey Thursday.

I can't take the tension.

and now To? already drunk?

Woo-hoo ! Its Whiskey Thursday again !!!

That durn ToMacckey fellar must be workin that plumb stupid job a his agin !

Then I guess I'll be a drinkin' his whiskey fer him !

*gulps To's whiskey*

git up on them tables and dance Gundy

How many weeks ina row do I havta' tell yer ! I ainta' dancin' on no damn tables, you plumb dumb idgit galoot !

*gets out clown gun*