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Mrs.MM and her mate are going to an "Anne Summers" party tonight (hubba hubba!) so me and her mates fella are having a boys night in. Were gonna rent some DVD's, get copious amounts of lager and eat a take-away too.

If anyone's at a loose end, you're free to pop in anytime.

so, if I'm not mistaken, monday is now the only free day?

Party at MM's house!!!

BYOB!

How do I get to Desperation?

Enjoy

Good one Raz!

Can somebody swing by Pennsylvania and pick me up ?

I thought you lived on Skywalker Ranch.

Thats only on the weekends.

Ah.

I'm Out of this World, so I can't meet with any of you.

you dont think we noticed

*walks in with 12 pack*

Oh, hell. Everyone is passed out.

*Hops on John Deere tractor and heads for Desperation*

Oh, wait. I'm already there.

I got the location "Desperation" from the Stephen King book, anyone else read that?

I was quite drunk on Friday after I decided to mix lager and red wine, I am such a fool! The DVD's we hired were pants, we had "Ghosts of Mars" which has to be the worst film of all time....ever. From now on I'll use GOM as a yard stick reference to how bad other movies are.

We also had "Along came a spider" which didn't excite me one bit. To be fair, I was fairly drunk by then so I'm not the best person to ask about that film.

I also watched Shawshank and Saving Private Ryan over the weekend, had myself a good manly cry.

Ghosts of Mars. Didn't see it. Were there scary martians in it ?

Did anyone else see Ghosts of Mississippi about the reopening of the trial of the assassination of Medgar Evers? I saw it recently and it was really good.

No, it was so crap because the ghost people were never actually seen. When they moved about the camera would be in first person so you could only see what they saw. They made it look all ghostly by (what looked like) putting those 3D specs over the camera lens, you know the ones with one eye piece red and one blue. Very poor.

Boo ! Give me a refund ! I want scary, disgusting, horrible monsters for my money !

Why would you even rent that movie, Mech? Spending money on shit like that is the reason they keep making such horrible films. You should know better than that. You disapoint me.

Thank you from ToMacco & Ebert.

I don't know about y'all but I am not going to see Eight Legged Freaks

Yeah, me too, anything with the work Freaks in is a must.

Errr...I think she said she's NOT going to see it, laser-brains.

Oh yes, must go to those Adult literacy classes again.

did someone said freak??

Yes, but for once they were NOT talking about you.

for you it's still Mister freak!

Wonder what Mech is gonna do this friday to top last week ?

Not too sure Gundy dear, I pulled a sicky today cus I went out for a nice friendly drink with a pal last night. I probably don't need to tell you all that I'm not a social drinker and of course we ended up getting totally ratted and got home a 2 a.m. this morning.

Should go into work tomorrow but I've got a hankering for another booze fest. Oh dear, if I wasn't a partner in the business I'm pretty sure I'd have been fired by now.

Do I have to come over there and straighten your butt out or what ?

We could have a free drinking night. Whatever you want to get smashed on.

Does Lucozade count?

If that's what floats your boat.

Tricky to get smashed on it unless you get a sugar overload.

Well then I'll bring lots of cupcakes.

Good call. VERY good call.

How many do you think we'll need ?

Bring as many as humanly possible and if there are too many we can use them as a makeshift mattress.

*scratches head*

I wonder how I'll get all 500 of these through customs....

Tell them you need them on medical grounds.

Now thats an idea !

All I have to do is flash my Acme Medical License.

Make up something borrible that will happen if they take them away; they'll leave well alone.

Something horrible....Belgium will invade England ?

horrible, not unbelievable

... and laughable.

How about Belgium invading Amsterdamned ?

should be easier

well, the only dangerous thing we have here are spoons... would be difficult

Like on Swordfish

Well as you all may have noticed, I haven't been in this week cus I've been working like a slave. I've been looking forward to today all week cus I've told everyone I'm not going to work tomorrow and I'm going to play "pub-golf" tonight.

"Pub golf", for those of you who don't know, is played on a pub crawl of 9 different pubs. In each pub a pint of beer and a short equals a par for that pub (or hole). If two pints and a short is drunk then you've got a "birdie" for that pub. If two pints and two shorts are drunk then thats an "eagle", etc etc.

The rules are simple, each drinker sets there own targets for each pub and the person with the lowest score after 9 holes is the course winner. Of course I imagine by the 9th pub we'll all have forgotton the score but thats not important.

That sounds like a fun game. Until the next morning.


*gets ready to bang pots and pans outside Mech's bedroom window*

Thats the thing with "pub golf" you don't have to par every hole to win, you could still win by getting a good couple of birdies or eagles at the start of the night cus later in the night everyone will be really drunk and going "one over" in some pubs.

Of the four lads I'm going with, I only really think one of them may beat me, he grew up in a pub cus his dad owned it. He can really do some drinking when he's on form.

And I'm sure there's some elbow rubbing with some interested females that you have to shoo away.

Nah, we stick away from the ladies when playing pub-golf. They may ruin a mans game.

So no extra points for a hole in one then?

Taste warning! Taste warning!

*tastes beer*
not here Ush...

Taste warning for what? A hole in one is a valid golfing term. Now where's that honest looking smilie?

Hiding from you!

guess who has a scary face now

Erm, MR F. Kruger?

not me anymore?

No, that's a sad face.

is this better?

http://www.westwoodi.net/~smilies/contrib/dvv/asthanos.gif

Yup.

np, I life to suck blood

Oh dear god I'm ill.

Managed only 8 holes last night, there was only two of us left after both the others left early cus they had to work this morning. We both finished on 2 over par, quite a crap score really but we didn't start till 8pm so we couldn't get all 9 holes in before closing. We would have finished on 3 over par but we managed to get in a double "aftershock" on the last hole for a birdie.

I was fine until I walked out of the pub and the fresh air hit me like a slap in the face. I don't remember the taxi home or falling asleep on the sofa but I do remember Mrs.MM waking me up to go to bed cus I ralphed then passed out.

and who says sport is healthy

some fools I presume

Y'all know how unhealthy it is to drink until you pass out, right?

no, why?

liver failure

that or you don't have them anymore...

plus the twins, your kidneys

on second thought To, stop drinking
it's bad for you!

stay alive, To

*starts to sing*
Staying alife, staying alife,
ah ah ah ah,
staying aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife

Nah, I've got it sussed out already. I've given up tea and coffee at work and now only drink water. This flushes out all the damage I do during the nights and weekends.

risky theory

Have you ever seen a picture of a cirrhosis infected kidney?

You might get hit by a bus tomorrow, so why give up things you enjoy today?

there are no busses driving around here

You might just get a light-sabre through you skull then.

for free?

Depends, I suppose you could pay someone to do.

but will they do a good job?

If you get a proper one.

beware of the ones with plastic copies

Plastic?

lightsabres

They can be lethal, yes.

Its all fun and games until somebody loses an eye with a plastic lightsabre and George ends up in a lawsuit.

well, I want to see him in a suit

Do you often think about what GL is wearing?

You aren't the person that's been stalking him and just phoning up to ask what he's wearing are you?

*In Yerss' gruff sex pest voice*

Oooooh hi GL, tell me what you've got on!

Is somebody really doing that ?

Yes Yerss.

I am not! I'm just... ... curious...

The answer to your question is.....flannel. Big surprise. What is it with some people and flannel? It's always plaid and it's hideous. It makes you look fat.

Well for God's sake, don't tell George that.

GL is god and so is his flanel.

a fat god, but a god nonetheless

*watches skies for lightning to destroy yerssot*

How dare you insult George like that !

He's a heretic. Burn him at the stake! Infidel!

can a duck......

Why? Yerss is not a duck, is he?

he is a witch burn him , burn him

Good idea.

builds a huge bon fire

Lovely. Make sure it's real hot.

hotter than this

Can't be hot enough.

Hot, hot, hotter than hell
You know she's gonna leave you well done
Hot, hot, hotter than hell
Burn you like the midday sun "- KISS

I knew I felt a song coming on...

*gets gasoline out of shed*

Is aunt Bunny coming round for a BBQ?

Exquese me, I'll be having an old friend for dinner now

But only if he weighs the same as a duck.

REMOVE THE SUPPORTS!

won't it all collapse then?

Corran -

Look at Charlie over there with third degree burns on him eating a mother****ing frank !

look at the fire Gus, it is ridiculous

Hold on, last time we did this Queeq got all confused and closed the thread down.

You never clean up after the dog, it aint scooby doo mother****er

Watch it with the f-word now. There are tender ears in here.

ow my ears! the glasses! they do nothing!

Goony-goo-goo.

What the (sorry Lauren) **** does goony-goo-goo mean Gus?

you used the bad word! Gus!

Hey Elvis, how about some lemonade ?

lemonade the cool refreshing drink.

Elvis was so bad they let him do movies he couldnt act, they said **** it let him sing all his dialouge

Hey Elvis, we gotta win this race !

we got a win this race

I got some ice cream.
I got some ice cream.

Want a lick ? Psych.

you dont got no ice cream, you didnt get none, cause you are on the welfare. And your father is an alchoholic. You didnt get none

I've gotta rent that again.

you dropped your ice-cream, you dropped your ice-cream.

My mama said if I'd be good
She'd send me to the store
She said she'd make some gingerbread
If I would sweep the floor
She said if I would make the beds
And watch the telephone
She'd send me out, just me alone
For a chocolate ice cream cone
And so I did the things she said
And then she made some gingerbread
Then I went out
Just me alone
To buy my chocolate ice cream cone

While coming back I stubbed my toe
Upon a great big stone
And need I tell you that I dropped my ice cream cone
A little puppy came along and he took a great big lick
And so I hit that mean old dog
With just a little stick
And he bit me
Where I sit down
And then he chased me all over town
And now I'm lost
Can't find my home
All because of that chocolate ice cream cone--Family Lullaby

Corran could drop his ice cream in a pile of shit and still eat it.


*Corran brushes it off - "Its just like sprinkles" *

corran has an afro like Angelo Davis

Finti , which part of 'Do not tell anyone that I have an Afro like Angelo Davis' did you not understand?

possibly the "anyone" part, since he is already knowing it

And Corran came up with a fish.

Gooney-Goo-Goo !

hairy mother****ers

Hey Gus, why is the fire so big ?

put some gas on here and VOOOOOOOM .....NOW THAS A FIRE....thas a fire

Bumping this cause its Friday and I want to know if Mech is going to drink himself silly tonight.

It's Mech. Is there a reason why he wouldn't get drunk?

if there's no more beer left in the UK