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Hi everyone, Ive decided to do my own Lily/James story. And I've decided to do it only from James point of view cause most Lily/James fiction I read is mostly only of Lily and not enough of James. Also I'm going to make Lily be in the house of Ravin Claw cause I dont think that she was in Griffendore but thats just my opinion, I mean she could be in Griffendore but I'm not entirely sure cause in all the Harry Potter books everyones read so far it doesnt really say which house she's in. And could everyone plz comment and tell me what you'se think? cause I'd really like that and it would also make my writing improve.
Enjoy.

"Time to get up James" said Mary, shaking her son gently in an attempt to wake him up and Sirius up.

Sirius was staying with the Potters for the year until it was time to start their 7th year of Hogwarts School of Whichcraft and Wizardry. He left home after his 6th year to go and stay with the Potters cause he had just had quite enough of his family and the way they only liked purebloods and no one else.

James just grunted his response, turned over on his side and fell back asleep. Mary was getting quite frustrated, she shaked them both harder with better results. James and Sirius just took their time in getting up, get out of their nightware and chuck on some clothes."Quick, get a move on" shje snapped. Now that James and Sirius were 17, they were allowed to use magic out of school, they both made their beds with just the flick of their wands. That done, Mrs Potter walked out with the boys lagging behind, dew to lack of sleep cause they stayed up really late. James yawned and put his hands at the back of his head, accadently hitting Sirius in the head. He just retaliated by slapping him across the head. "Watch where you streach your arms Prongs"
"Sorry mate" replied James in a somewhat sleepy voice. Mrs Potter smiled in recinition and just smiled and shook her head. They all went to breakfast, sat down and ate. "Acio" the boys said simetuesly, their lugages floating down the stairs towards them. They went and put their things by the door ready to leave for Hogwarts in the morning."James, you just recived a letter from Hogwarts" said Mrs Potter, holding the letter out for James to take and read. Mr Potter arrived just a few minutes later, all dressed and ready for work when James was about to open the letter that was addressed to him. "Good morning everyone"
"Good morning" came the chorased reply. Mrs Potter had just said that their son recived owl post so he just sat down next to his son. He just opened the letter and couldnt couldnt belive what he had just read.

Pretty Good So Far, Though Lily Is Definitely In Griffindor...

well ill just change her to Griffendore than

first it's Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. DO SPELL CHECK!

i tried to at first but it wouldnt let me

you have to do it on Word first then post it don't do it on here.

if i did post on word then how would i transfer the writing on this forum? cause i dont no how

"Well read it, what does it say?" Sirius asked quite agitatedly.

Dear Mr Potter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been chosen to become Head Boy this year in time,
signed by Deputy Head Mistress M. Magonigal,
Head of Gryffindor House.

He got his badge and presented it to everyone. They were all shocked, especially James himself. He thought for sure that Remus would be chosen to become Head Boy.

Sirius went and got into one of the compartments while James went to one of the compartments which consumed the prefects. On his way he saw a certain redhead. His hand automatically went straight to his hair and made it even messier than it already was, "Hey Evans" there was no reply. "What are you doing here Potter? this is only for prefects and HB and HG compartment."
"Well Evans, why don't you take a closer look and see for yourself" she took a closer look and had to blink to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. "You stole that from Remus, give it back to him or I'll have no choice but to report you and put you on detention" she sneered, putting her most hateful glare that she could to the guy she loathed. "You obviously didn't look close enough" he said with a huge grin on his face. So she looked more closely this time and read the words 'James Potter HB' printed on the badge. "I don't believe this!" she outraged. "I know, I couldn't believe it at first either and that there must have been some kind of mix up"
"This is so absurd, great, I'm going to have to do patrolling with you this year" she said in a disgusted voice. "Oh, cheer up Evans, surely it wont be that bad, will it?"
"As a matter of fact it will be." She just walked on like he didn't even exist. He mustered up the courage and grabbed her arm but she simply pulled away. "Eh, don't touch me Potter"she said with vemace. She walked ahead without a seconds glance. James simply stood there, feeling really dejected. He got into the compartment and sat down. He kept on shooting Lily furtive glances which she just ignored and faced the front.

That done he walked back to the carriage in low spirits that contained Sirius and Remus. Peter on the other hand wasn't present which was quite peculiar to all of them, he hadn't told either of them his whereabouts. "Hey mate, whats up? your looking kind of glum." Sirius asked with a questioning look. "Let me guess, Evans?" said Sirius shaking his head. He looked towards James who appeared to be nodding his head in confirmation. "Bad luck mate, better luck next time" said Sirius with an amused look plastered onto his face and also a look of sympathy to go along with it. James went and sat down next to Sirius. Sirius and Remus exchanged glances, both thinking the same thing, Evans and how she keeps neglecting James. They really wanted to help but didn't know how. "Hey mate, she's not worth it, why not go out with a chick who actually likes you. Hey mate are you even listening to what I'm saying? Earth to Prongs!" Sirius waved one of his hands and waved it in front of his face in order to get his full attention. James looked so out of it, it was like he was in another world of his own. "What?" he asked in a confused voice, seeing that Sirius was trying to get his attention. So he decided to repeat the question again for James.

Sometime later the express came to a sudden stop.

plz comment and tell me what u ppl think

It was great

It pretty good thus far....please continue.

Everyone filed out and everyones luggage was transfered inside of Hogwarts. As the Marauders formed out James heard someone call Evans a filthy little mudblood and hexed him and went up to him, hauled and lifted him by the shirt and said "How dare you, apoligize to Evans right now" sneered James and dropped Snivless to the ground. "Make me Potter" spat Snape. "I could make life very unpleasnt for you Snape" Sneered James. "How dare you talk to James like that" Sirius had his wand pinted at him and James felt himself slide back a couple of feet. "Dont you ever hex him again Potter" spat Lily and had her wand ponted at him. "Miss Evans, I am so appaled that you could even hex a student, especially a Head Boy, you will be serving detention with Mr Filch the care taker for a week. And as for you Mr Potter, I ve no reason to think that you took no part in this and the same goes for Black and Snape, you's will all serve detention with Mr Filch and 20 points from Gryffindor and 10 points from Slytheren." said an outraged Proffeser Magonigal and marched off. So they all walked to the castle, James and Sirius giving Snape dirty looks.

When they all got to the castle they sat down listening to Dumbledore welcoming everyone to Hogwarts for another year and Magonigal sorting the first years into their houses. When that was done Dumbledore made all sorts of food appear onto the table and everyone helped themselves to whatever appealed to them. When everyone was finished James and Lily led all the first years in their House to the Commin Room and gave them the password which was Flobber Worms. Then they both patrolled the castle. "Evans, I just dont get why you hate me so much, maybe if you could tell I could fix it" Lily looked at James and felt her stomick go all wiered as if she liked him or somthing. No I cant like Potter, could I? Its just not possable, but his all so messy hair just makes him look so handsome, no I will not think like this. Sjhe thought to herself. James saw a blush creep up her nice rosey cheeks. "Well I guess I should at least try to get along with you since we will be patrolling together for awhile, after all I dont think I have much choice. I dont think anyones doing anything wrong this evening, how about we just call it a night"
"Thats fine with me Evans." James suddenly looked at his watch and realized the time and that they were both 5 minutes late for their first detention. "Hey Evans, were 5 minutes late for detention with Mr Filch" So they both bolted down the hall and got to his office panting and trying to get their breaths back. "Your both late" He sneered. But in a way it didnt really matter cause he could just make them do more work.

you type it up on word spell check read it through a couple of times. COPY and PASTE it into the Posting box.

ok its McGonagall, Common Room, and don't forget the put punctuation in your quotes. Like put periods before the last quotation marks.

thanks

It needs work..

wat kind of work, could u plz tell me?

i mean pm me plz farrah_k21, thanks

Well it is nice except yes it is McGonagall.

you know what, I think we should make Sirius_Rulez a spelling dictionary! And you can use it at all times when your writing your story!

Originally posted by iluvhpsomuch1_7
you know what, I think we should make Sirius_Rulez a spelling dictionary! And you can use it at all times when your writing your story!
Or you Could Shut Up, and Let Him deal with it.

Just because you're Writing an Early Hogwarts Fic Too, doesn't mean you have to try to bring his down.

excuse me! I was being serious! I wasn't trying to bring his down i was trying to help him because we all knwo he does have a spelling problem< no offense Sirius_Rulez>. My intentions were not to bring his story down. I like his story. Don't tell me what I can and can't do

Originally posted by iluvhpsomuch1_7
excuse me! I was being serious! I wasn't trying to bring his down i was trying to help him because we all knwo he does have a spelling problem< no offense Sirius_Rulez>. My intentions were not to bring his story down. I like his story. Don't tell me what I can and can't do
Sounded like a Heap of Sarcasm to me.

well i wasnt trying to be sarcastic. Why would it matter if im writing a James/Lily story too. So are a few other people

yeah he is right u need to lay off a little and i think the story is comin along Sirius_Rulez and maybe she doesnt exactly know how i think she is really trying hard and if u can understand it than you shouldnt care how anything is spelled and again it is good

and Sirius_Rulez is a girl

Originally posted by iluvhpsomuch1_7
well i wasnt trying to be sarcastic. Why would it matter if im writing a James/Lily story too. So are a few other people

You are intolerably rude. I'm not sure if it's on purpose, or accidental, but it is unnecessary. If you have a suggestion to make, try to avoid comments like this
"first it's Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. DO SPELL CHECK!"

Instead, you could concentrate at first on what's good in the story. (Words like Gryffindor and Ravenclaw aren't even the basic Microsoft dictionary!). Starting with words like "first" or "ok" don't put people's confidence up - you're disregarding everything else in their stories.

And okay, spelling can get on my nerves, too. But I don't go on about it obsessively. Your concentration on spelling is bizarre but I won't criticise it - everyone has their pet hates (mine's apostrophes and paragraphing). It's not just that you concentrate on it, it's that you make posts - 'reviews' - that are only a sentence or line long. Popping in to trash someone's story isn't nice, and it isn't wanted by anyone. Going by the old idea of "do unto others...", I don't think you appreciated it if I started trashing your stories. Oh, and if you're going to criticise spelling and punctuation, you might want to take a look at your own posts.

If you're going to add constructive criticism, then do it in a decent post. The point is that it's constructive, and if you have nothing constructive to say, then don't post. We're not correcting grammar to the extent of scaring somebody out of writing but trying to help them write their story so it's good.


On to my comments on the story itself:

It's good! I like the story - though I have two major qualms. The first is a common one. When you started, you include a lot of detail. by your third post, though, this has gone. You could expand upon the overhearing of the 'mudblood' comment. The other qualm is paragraphing. Spelling, it seems, I can leave up to Ilhp. When writing dialogue, the normal rule is to have a new line for each speaker.

Apart from that the story is good. You seem to have a plot going well enough - but don't be afraid to expand upon points. You can have normal events between major plot events, like lessons in JKR's books. Otherwise your plot will be quickly gone through and the story finished. Keep writing!

i relli wasnt trying to be mean. People around thinking they own the site. The tone of what I say isn't supposed to be mean. Most people think it is but its not. I dont like beating around the bush so i write straight answers. You know what im not even going to bother. I shouldn't even be writing my story anymore if people are going to treat me this way when i try to help others. Dont even bother saying i wasn't trying to help or it didn't sound like because I know that i was, and that's all i need to know. I will write my story but i will never, never comment on someone elses if people feel that way about how i comment. I will read/ write but more commenting.

when i finished writing the third part of the story i accidentally pressed submit reply and quickly tried to press spell check. But obviously it was to late, it had already submitted the third part of the story. i usually do spell check but just forgot at the last minute.

i read other ppls stories and see that others don't usually don't make a new sentence when they make ppl speak, but some do and ill try an do that in future.

I do try to write my story as best as i can. I'm not really that good at creating them so sorry for not making it that good but i do try my best. after all, English isn't something I'm really good at school, its one of the subjects i suck at school, and also the fact that i hate it. so sorry about the story not being that good, I'm doing the best of my ability

Don't worry about it. The story's good! It's a fair assumption to make that everyone else knows what they're doing. However, for a couple of good examples on grammar and stuff like that, take a look at Hotsauce's or DarkC's fanfics.

Of course, it's just a fanfic - people aren't expecting professional-style work! As for english not being your best subject at school... Bah! The subject of english is more about reading other people's stuff than writing your own.

Yea, don't worry about it. It is a really good story. Also Trickster is about English. You really only read others peoples work you don't really write your own. Also, keep up the good work.

thanks.
i do read Dark'Cs work and its excellent, such a gr8 story

Lily and James stepped inside, speculating what needed work.
"Potter and Evans, the two of you can help Black and Snape scrub the walls, and none of yous are leaving till everythings spotless, have I made myself clear?"
"Yes Professor" The 4 chimed in.
They all started to scrub till their hands ached and several stopped to give their hands a rest.
"Back to work, if I see anyone slacking off again there'll be trouble" Spat Mr Filch, giving them his most deadliest glare he could muster.

After Filch turned his back Sirius rolled his eyes and made a face while James snickered in the background, lifting his hands up to his mouth to try to stifle the sound so as not to bring Filches attention and land an extra detention.

After a long while Mr Filch had to go and take care of Peeves the apologist ghost who was probably causing a lot of mayhem.

After he had gone they all threw their rags down.

Snape kept on giving James and Sirius dirty looks.
"Ah, we can finally have a break and my hands are killing me." said James shaking his hands to try and get the stiffness out of them.
"Mine to mate" said Sirius.

James kept staring at Evans in hopes of catching her eyes. He saw her glancing at her now and then, giving her his most charming smile he could. He saw her blush and turn away, a big grin appearing on his face.

Sirius just turned and rolled his eyes, shaking his head.
"Hey Evans, why don't you just go out with him, everyone knows that you like him, why not face that fact that you like him and just go out with him. You know you want to." Sirius aid smirking.
They could both see that she was thinking, her blush deepening on that beautiful face of hers. She just turned around and continuing on with her work.
"Shouldn't the three of you continue with what your suppose to do?"
James and Sirius shared a knowing look and continued working.

Where as Snape was grimacing at the fact that a Mud blood would tell him what to do.

Mr Filch came back an hour later from trying to get Peeves and checked that everything was cleaned properly. After he found the place to his stander ed he said they could leave.
They all returned to their deometries and went to sleep.

THAT WAS SO GOOD! That was such a good improvement! I loved it!Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very MINT!

thanks

i love it. it is excellent.

James woke up with a loud rasberry blown in his face. He looked around and noticed Peeves and cursed. He looked around and saw Sirius's disgusted face and new the same had happened to him. They tried to curse him but it was no use so they gave up and decided to try again later. They tried to get back to sleep but both knew sleep was pointless and decided they may aswell get up and ready for breakfast in the Great Hall.

i have writers block and need some help on what to write so if anyone has any suggestions could they plz pm me thanks

It was good. But peeves can't get into the dorms. And its hexing not cursing

yea exactly what iluvhpspmuch1 7 said and it was good

oh, thanx.
and my mistake.
iluvhpsomuch1_7, in 1 of the hp books doesnt peeves cause Harry to wake bf a Quiditch Match?
cause i think i remember him blowing in his ear, but i dont exactly remember whitch one.
dont get me cause he may have not but i dont exactly remember

I don't think so.If it was, it wasn't in his dorm it was probably sometimes when he fell asleep inthe library or something. I've read the book three or fours times each so I know them pretty well and Peeves doesn't wake Harry up.

oh, ok

They entered the Great Hall and sat down for breakfast and saw a whole heap of food and picked out all they wanted. James was just gazing at Evans hoping that she'd notice him and saw her take a look at him and quickly turned away all flushed in the face. He saw that she was sitting all alone. Not to mention the fact that she looked sad and lonely and he wanted so badly to comfort her and make her happy. He turned his head towards his friends and they were looking at him questioningly and he said that he was fine, that nothing was wrong with him. But all of his friends new better and just kept to themselves.

They went to their first lesson which was Defence Against the Dark Arts.

James was going to become an Aurore and had to do certain subjects for him to achieve his future goal when he finished his 7th and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

When they got To Defence Against the Dark Arts they all went and sat down and listened to what Professor Bagy had to say. And the also did some practical work.

When the Defence Against the Dark Arts was finished he told Sirius and Remus that he had to speak to Evans alone and that he'd catch up with them later.

what sort of subjects in hp are required to be an Aurore?

Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Charms and I think that is it and it is good.

You'd need a N.E.W.T. in Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms and Herbology.

Originally posted by Sirius_Rulez
in 1 of the hp books doesnt peeves cause Harry to wake bf a Quiditch Match?
cause i think i remember him blowing in his ear, but i dont exactly remember whitch one.
dont get me cause he may have not but i dont exactly remember
Yeah, in PoA, in the Chapter "Grim Defeat".

relli? i dont remember that and ive just read that book again.

thanks for tellin me Brit531 and Barker

anyway cant wait for more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yea me to and your welcome

He ran to catch up with her and saw that she was all alone.

"Hey Evans", he said with a concerned look.

She looked really sad. And he could tell that she was probably going to go to lunch all by herself.

She let out a big sigh. It looked liked she was about to say something but nothing came out. Then he saw her struggle to stop herself from crying. He wanted to try to help but he didn't know if he should at case she tried to lash out at him.

"Whats wrong?" he asked, trying to get an answer out of her.

Then she just suddenly broke down crying. James caught her in his grasp just before she fell to the floor, steadying her. He held her right to him, trying to comfort her. He waited till she calmed down and stopped her crying. Then he asked her the same question. She couldn't answer so she got the letter out and gave it to him. He lifted her up and when she didn't even try to struggle he took them to a place where they could sit. He gently placed her down, took the piece of parchment and started to read. He couldn't believe what he had just read, Evans was now an orphan, she had nowhere to go or nowhere to stay. Not to mention the fact that her sister Petunia didn't want anything to do with her.
He just couldn't believe that her sister didn't want anything to do with her. He wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her towards him. And they just stayed like that for a while

sounds familiar

what part cause im just making it up as i go along, cause if its the same as another fic then ill stop writing it and just leave it as it is

no its fine! I love your story it just sounds like mine! Your more than welcome to use any of my ideas. Relli i dont mind! Your story is great!

thanx

if it looks like im copying u im not meaning too. i really am trying to make it so its not like anyone elses, so sorry it seems that way and i will try and change it and try not to make it sound like anyone elses.

NO NO NO NO! Don't change it because i said that! It's perfectly ok! I seriously don't mind!

He heard the lunch bell go.

"I don't feel like going to our next lesson." She kept resting on his chest.

"You should at least try shouldn't you?"
"No. Who really cares if I get into trouble. I just don't feel like it." She said in a shaky voice.
"Please don't go. Stay here with me." She clung to him tighter.
"James let out a slow sigh and said "Ok. Shall we just go to the Common Room?"
"Alright"

He lifted her up and carried her to their destination. When he got there he gently placed her down. She just snuggled up to him and they stayed like that till they both fell asleep.

After their last lesson Sirius and Remus were both wondering where James could have gone.

"I wonder where Prongs is. He's been out for the rest of the day" said Sirius with curiosity and concern for his best friend.
"I know. I wonder as well"

They both went to the Common Room and found both James and Lilly asleep on the couch and Sirius knew it was time for them to do their 2nd detention.

try to make your posts longer like save them up on word. Or something just so it looks neater and when your finished it really feels like your accomplished something big

how do u put it on word and then post on here?

You type it up on word then copy and paste it into the box. You just save as it then add onto it

thanx

They all walked down to Filches room. Everyone went in except James and Lily. Filch the care taker was giving them both a dirty look. “The two of you weren’t at detention yesterday. Why would that be hmm?

James and Lily were just looking at each other. Lily was just about to speak, very close to tears but James beat her to it.

“Excuse me Sir?” He said in a deadly cold tone. “Lily just lost both her parents and she didn’t feel like going to detention. So-“

Whatever he was going to say was cut off due to what Filch said next.

“I was under the impression that I was giving the orders as to what all of you do in my detention Potter.” Growled Filch. “Now get to work Evans, or we go straight to the Headmaster.” Said Filch in a triumphed voice. He saw that Evans was very close to tears now and had a satisfied grin upon his ugly mug. “I’m going to step out for a minute or two and I had better se-“ Filch stopped cause he had just saw a piece of parchment in Potter’s pocket and asked him to hand it over.

James took the piece of parchment out of his pocket and handed it over to Filch.

Filch didn’t know what Potter would keep an old piece of parchment for but finally figured it out. So he took it with him so that he could inspect it.

Lily broke into tears, shaking all over. James just held her in his arms, comforting her.

Snape was just sniggering quietly in the background.

Sirius saw this and walked up to him, held him by the rim of his robes and punched him in the face.

James turned around to see what all the commotion was about, but Lily didn’t, she just stayed snuggled up to James.

Sirius just informed James on what Snivelles had just did and James wasn’t impressed, so he just gave him an extra days work of detention.

Snape was fuming on the inside but managed to hold his tongue.

In the meantime Filch came back and saw that they weren’t working and took points from Gryffindore and Slytheren. He also managed to give Evans a hard time about her crying.

She got out of James’s embrace. “FINE!” she said as she got up to leave. “WHATEVER! I’M OUT OF HERE!” she roared at Filch the caretaker, now really breaking down and crying. So she just stormed out of Filches office, James running to catch up with her.

Sirius gave Snape such a huge death glare. He could see that Snivelles was roaring with laughter. He just wanted to wipe that laughter straight off of his greasy ugly face. So just walked straight up to him and hexed him, giving him a warning look. Look that said: ‘If you ever laugh at her again you’ll regret it look’.

Snape just backed away a bit. Knowing that he couldn’t do anything against Black when he was in actual fact disarmed. He hated Black so much. Hated the fact that he tried to kill him in his 6th year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He also hated the fact that he was in debt too Potter. How he hated, loathed and despised him. He could see that Black was keeping a very close watch on him and watching his every move.

Sometime later Mr. Filch came back with the Headmaster and the Deputy Headmistress.

“Where are Mr. Potter and Miss Evans?” asked Professor Magonigal in a low and dangerous voice.

“I don’t know where they are.” Answered Sirius in a would be calm voice.

Magonigal eyed Sirius suspiciously, like she suspected that Black wasn’t telling the truth and telling a great big lie. She eyed both Black and Snape gestured for the two of them to follow her. She looked behind her and noticed that Snape was lagging behind. “Hurry up Mr. Snape before I hand you a detention. She then noticed Sirius smirking. “Do you find this funny Mr. Black?”
“Oh no Professor.” Said Sirius smirking, trying to charm his way out of this. “I’m just merely looking at what a pretty lovely face you have.” He said in his most charming flirtatious voice. “Cause you are the most prettiest woman I have seen in all my life.” He said, battering his eyes at her.

Professor Magonial just looked at him and rolled her eyes.

“Mr. Black, you are well on your way to receive yet another detention. Keep up what your doing and I can assure you that you will get one.”

At the mention of this Sirius just held his tongue.

Where as Dumbledor just had a bemused look upon his face.

They all followed Professor Magonial while she set off to go and find Mr. Potter and Miss Evans. In the end they all found them in the Griffendor Common Room.

By the look of things James and Lily knew by the look on Professor Magonigals face that the two of them were both in very serious trouble.

Magonigal led them all to her office, Dumbledor in tow. She gestured for all the students to sit down so she could have a serious talk to them.

All the students looked downcast as to what was going to take place.

It was VERY VERY VERY VERY GOOD!!!!! I like the length, *wink*wink*. I know, I know but im just saying this because in Harry Potter lingo you would say it a lot. Gryffindor,Slytherin, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. Please don't hurt me. I'm just trying to help.

That was so so so so good, post more soon.

thanx iluvhpsomuch1 7, i no dat i keep getting them wrong, thanx for correcting me in spelling them correctly and im glad that the both of you's are enjoying the story. thanx for the comments.

oh and iluvhpsomuch1 7 could u also plz tell me how to spell Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff? thanx

You spelled Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff right. I know I am not iluvhpsomuch1 7, but they are correct in spelling how you spelled them on here

thanx

Hopefully you will post soon because I want to find out what happens next

yep, im working on it right now, just trying to make a good length

Yes!! Post more soon!

k, im done now and ready to post more

James just stared at her and waited for what was to come.

“Mr. Potter and Miss Evans, I would have expected better from the two of you. Need I remind the two of you that the both of you are both Head Boy and Girl.”
“Bu-“
“Don’t interrupt me Miss Evans, that’s very rood of you.”

Lily just gawked at her, opened her mouth to say something then closed it.

After some Time Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall ushered them all to their deomentries, making everyone worse off then when they had come in except for one, Snape. He didn’t feel bad at all.

Both of the Professors made sure that Lily went off to the girl’s deomentries and James to his. James hated to leave Lily all by herself, due to the fact that she had absolutely no friends at all, no girlfriends to comfort her like girlfriends usually do. He went and told Remus on what supposedly took place. Remus said that Lily shouldn’t be by herself at a time like this. James agreed, but what could he do? He had to do something; he couldn’t just stand here and do nothing. James also told him that heaps of students hated her and that if she hadn’t anyone who cared about her that she would just go and do something supposedly stupid. Remus agreed with him 100%. Not only had he told Remus this but Sirius also. He was really worried about her, worried about the fact of what she might do if he wasn’t there to comfort her in her time of need. He let out a huge sigh; he was her only friend as well as Sirius and Remus. He hadn’t seen Peter in a while and kept wondering where he might be. Well he was going to help out Lily no matter what. He took off his glasses and put them on the bedside cabinet and tried to get to sleep but unfortunately sleep wouldn’t exactly come that easily. He tried again but ended with the same result. So he sat up and thought for a while. Unfortunately James Potter couldn’t sleep at all that night.

None of them could sleep. That is to say that Sirius and Remus. They sat up thinking of what tomorrow would bring.

In what felt like the middle of the night the three occupants awake could hear a noise outside their dorm so all three stood up to investigate. All three of them walked very quietly to the lower dorms so as not to wake anyone up. They were all investigating when suddenly Peter came into view. “Hello” squeaked Peter, looking nervously about the room.

James, Sirius and Remus just all stared at each other.

“So” said Remus with a questioning glance at Peter. “Where have you been? We haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Well…erm” he said really nervously, his voice sounding really quite scared, giving a nervous little laugh. Peter looked straight at his three friends and saw that they were a bit suspicious. “I-Er. I spent some extra holidays with my er mother.

James, Sirius and Remus all just looked at each other and figured that that was good enough for them.

Peter ascended the stairs and entered the boys dorm. He looked around and was glad to be back.

All the other three ascended the stairs in tow. All four of them just talked and catched up.

In the morning all four of them went down to the Great Hall and all heard murmurs in the hall dew to Peters return. Peter was getting really nervous with all the stairs he was receiving.

They all went and sat down in their usual seats. James kept on looking about but couldn’t spot Evans. All he knew was that he had to see her soon. After all, she didn’t have any friends. He then saw his owl Taro swoop down and land on the table. So he leant forward and undid the letter from his owl, releasing it from its burden. He didn’t know why but somehow he was dreading what the actual letter would say.

Dear Mr. Potter,
I am sorry to inform you that both of your parents are dead. Dew to the fact that they were trying to help some other Muggles in trouble.
First some Aouors went to their house to see if they were there but unfortunately they were not. They than went in search to investigate some other places and found their dead bodies. They were just lying there, dead and motionless.
From Deputy Headmistress, Professor M. McGonagall.

James just sat there motionless, not knowing what to think. All his life both his parents had been there for him, but now they were both gone. Never to be seen or heard of ever again. And for some weird reason crying was beyond him. He just couldn’t cry.

All his three friends just looked at him and Sirius just said, “Hey Prongs, are you all right mate?” To Sirius James just looked so empty of all life. All the time he was just so full of it but now it was just all gone.

James tried to speak to his best friend. He opened his mouth but no words came out. It was like he had just forgotten how to speak and needed to be taught all over again. He then heard Sirius ask if he could read the letter he had just read. He couldn’t produce any form of words.

Sirius just took the letter anyway and began with or without his friends consent.
He just could not believe what he had just read. James’s parents both dead. He was outraged. They were both just like parents to him. Cause he new he had none of his own, both of his parents had just disowned him, didn’t want anything do with him. He didn’t want anyone to know, not even James that he was in actual fact rather quite jealous of his brother Regulus. His brother had got all the attention where as he just got none. I f anything ever went wrong in the Black household it was just all his fault, never his brothers, Regulus. And then there was James. And yes he was also jealous of him as well. He had such loving parents, parents who actually cared for him where as his were just really disappointed. But he would never tell him, he would never tell James that he was jealous of him.

plz tell me wat yous all think. does it need improvement, was it good or bad?. thanx yalls

It was really good!!

thanx

That was really good post more soon

James was really slow in getting up and there was no kind of emotion upon his face. He left the great hall and took his lead in the nice fresh air, the wind cascading upon his face. He had no purpose in where he was currently going and just went wherever his legs happen to lead him.

He ended amongst the giant squid and slowly sat upon the soft green grass and stared off into space.

He liked it near the giant squid cause it was nice and quiet with no noise whatsoever.

The other three however were really worried about their other friend. They all had a mission to try and cheer him and Evans up.

Peter on the other hand said he was needed elsewhere. The other two asked as to why he needed to go and Peter tried to say the best exclamation he could muster. So he just walked to where he needed to be and was on his way.

Sirius and Remus just looked at each other and wondered where he had to go in such a hurry and just shrugged both their shoulders.

So Remus said that he would try and consult Lily while he go and see whether he could go and help James.

So Remus set off at a brisk pace and set off towards the Gryffindor common room and headed towards the boys dorm to retrieve James’s invisibility cloak. He didn’t want to know what James would do if he ever found out but he had to do this. Had to do it for Lily since James couldn’t really do anything in the state he was currently in. On the other hand he knew that James would one day thank him for what he was about to do. And then there was the guilt, the guilt to which he was doing was wrong but on the other hand he was actually doing James a favour cause then Lily wouldn’t be looking after herself and would probably let herself starve to death.

Remus covered himself with James’s invisibility cloak and descended the boy’s dorm and headed over towards the girls and snuck his way in there. When he got inside he noticed that Lily was in an outright state. He didn’t like what he saw; he saw her lying upon her bed with her fists clenched into tight balls. She was sprawled across the bed crying pitifully on the bed.

After seeing that she was the only occupant in the room Remus slowly took off the invisibility cloak and strode over towards her bed and sat down beside her and asked if she was alright.

Lily slowly lifted her head to see that Remus just spoke to her. Out of nowhere Lily just put her whole weight upon Remus and hugged him like a lost child.

Remus was beside himself, what was he to do? This was his friend’s girlfriend and yet she was hurting really badly so he just wrapped his strong arms around her slim back and hugged her back, comforting her as best he could. He stayed like that for a while until he was satisfied that she was all right to pull out of her embrace and talk to her. He tried talking to her and found that she was in a small world of her own. Remus kept on insisting that she eat something to maintain her strength and look after herself, if not for anyone than for James himself. He pulled her to her feet and brought her to the hall. She wasn’t really resisting that much and he thought it good that she didn’t put up much of a fight. He told her to eat something. And after much persisting she complied and got a bite of something and brought it to her mouth. To her food was just sickening and to her food just tasted like led, she was chewing repeatedly and swallowed it down. Disgusting she thought making a horrid face.

Sirius just walked over to his best friend and sat down beside him, telling him that it was all right to cry and that he needed to get it out of his system but he just wouldn’t. He was really worried about him and thought that it wasn’t good that he kept all his hurt and sorrow bottled up inside of him. He put the palm of his hand upon James’s shoulder.

A short while after, James just shrugged Sirius’s hand off of him with great success. “Leave me alone!” He screamed, kicking at a dead piece of grass to try and blow off some steam. He stormed into the great hall and ran towards the boy’s dorms, slumping on one of the couches and just screamed at the top of his lungs, not caring if anyone heard, he didn’t really give a stuff. He fell off the couch and broke down crying, his insides cringing with the effort, his breathing ragged. Who cares he thought! He really cares!

that was really good. Post more soon so I can see what happens next

He felt two pairs of arms grasp and haul him to the Gryffindor couch.

“Hey Prongs? Are you alright?” But he couldn’t reply to those spoken words. The words just kept getting stuck in his throat, making it impossible for words to fluently spill out of him.

He just slumped in the seat he was sitting into and was going to slip to one side but someone just lifted him up.

He felt someone put a glass of water towards his lips but he wasn’t really interested. All he wanted was to have his parents back. It just wasn’t fair. Someone was trying to force some in and wouldn’t stop so he just complied. He felt the nice cool liquid sliding down his throat. It actually felt quite nice, cooling his head. When the goblet was finished it was taken away. James just sat there thinking things throughout his head. He then realized that someone else was sitting beside him. He then looked over and noticed a really pretty girl around his age. She had beautiful long red flaming hair that came to her back and beautiful green emerald eyes. Lily Evans. He was just entranced by her beauty. He also noticed that she too had a tear-streaked face, he wondered why. He thought this over a bit and then realized that she too had lost her parents to that stupid bastered, Voldermort.

She just looked at him and he looked back. He turned to face the front and heaved a sigh. The love of his life was just staring at him; his heart just skipped a beat. She was sitting really close to him. James just put his arm around her, smelling in her beautiful scent, tears still streaking his face.

Just before James wouldn’t have even cared if he died, so long as he went to where his parents went. He would’ve just starved himself but seeing Evans there just made him think differently.

Then some words were forming on her mouth. “I love you.” She whispered those words just loud enough for James to hear.

James didn’t know what to think. He had loved her the first day he had laid eyes on her, asking her out repeatedly and always getting rejected. For the first time ever James had heard the words he had been longing to hear for such a long time. At first he just thought that his ears had just deceived him but then he knew that he hadn’t, he heard the words ‘I love you’ and thought that it was about time too.

“Its about time” he whispered near her ear, tickling her earlobe.

“What?” she said speechless.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say those words. I’ve loved you ever since I ever laid eyes on you. So I guess I’m not that big a jerk after all, eh?” He said as he planted a kiss upon her temple and held her close, Lily hugging in response.

She just snuggled up to him and laying her head upon his soft warm chest.

Neither one of them knowing that that Sirius and Remus saw and heard the whole thing. Smirking at each other they thought the same thing. Its about time

That was REALLY good!!

That was really good. So post more soon.

About a week later James and Lily able to walk around but weren’t partially eating well. They both weren’t giving themselves enough food to eat due to the fact that they were both still not over their parent’s death.

When they had other classes such as Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Potions Lily and James would almost fall asleep.

“Wake up!” said an angry Professor Mcgonigal, banging something hard onto the desk.

They both managed to get their eyes open but just barely.

James had his head lying on the desk. The Professors weren’t thrilled about this concept. Especially about the fact that he was indeed Head-Boy and needed to set a good example for all the other students. But he could really care less. Although he did still have the love of his life and that was something to be happy about so he thought that he would try and put a bit more effort to his education and his eating habits.

Professor Magonigal could see that she couldn’t put James and Lily on detention cause after all they both just lost both there parents so she just let it slip but when they were in better shape they would continue. No questions asked.

About a week afterwards both James and Lily were on patrol, walking along the corridors.

James had Lily pressed against the wall and was lightly brushing his lips with hers, there tongues searching expectantly. He managed to put his arm around her neck and support her head. After a minute or two James pulled back due to lack of air and started panting somewhat. He than felt pair of arms wrap around his neck and pull him in for another tender kiss. He responded by kissing her back tenderly and passionately. Enjoying the taste of her nice sweet mouth.

He pulled back again and Lily started to giggle. Oh how just loved the way she laughed. It was just so sensational.

He embraced her and they just stayed like that for a while, mingled in each other’s arms. Smelling her sweet and beautiful scent and leaned toward her and just kissed her.

They just suddenly stopped, turned around and noticed another pair of students somewhere along the corridor. James pulled back, disappointed that he had to stop kissing his girl, took out his wand and slowly crept down the corridor towards the pair, Lily close behind him.

Sirius was just sitting under a tree next to the giant squid and just watched it flail its huge tentacles. He then saw out of the corner of his eye a girl walk up to him and asked him out. he just shrugged his shoulders and grudgingly complied. He led her to a quiet spot, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. As soon as his mouth made contact with hers something just did not feel right, out of place. After about half an hour he got really bored of her and just left her standing there, hearing her pleas for him to come back to her and keep going out with her but Sirius just wasn’t interested.

Sirius went for a stroll somewhere and a guy just ran up to him.

“Hey Sirius?”
“What” he said in a bored and snappish way.

Sirius could see that this guy was in actual fact interested in him. He had short darkish brown hair that came down to about his neck. Sirius rather thought he looked kind of handsome.

“Will you er go out with me?” He asked shyly but he knew that Sirius liked people who were indeed confident in themselves, so he tried to sound really sly. He thought that Sirius looked really hot in the looks department.

Sirius just merely shrugged his shoulders. He saw the other guy walk up to him and kiss him, trying to find an entrance. Sirius had to admit that he liked the way this handsome guy was kissing him so he just let it continue, both of their arms wrapped around each other. They pulled apart and Sirius just smiled slyly.

As James and Lily saw them they just stopped in there tracks at the site they both just saw. The look was just compelling.

Oh um, still not crazy about Sirius ands the gay thing. Walking in XjainaX's footsteps. Oh well its was good!

That was fuuny and real interesting at the same time. Post more soon.

OMG Sirius is les???!!! Ew ew and double ew! I was never a big fan of Sirius but I still think that that was wrong.
Otherwise really good story. POST POST POST POST POST POST!!!

u dont have to read it if u dont want to. im kind of with XjainaX's. it never said in hp that Sirius ever went out with any girl.

I agree with Sirus Rulez on that

That was good. I really liked the thought of Sirius being straight, but I don't have a problem with you making him like guys. So I like your story either way! Keep posting you're doing good!

What they saw was two guys kissing, but he didn’t know who they were.

“Alright, break it up!” said Lily while pointing her finger. “Or, if you guys hadn’t of noticed its now past curfew!” she said while looking at the pair of them. Not that she had a problem with gays. No one should be out past curfew.

The two guys that were pashing each other started to walk back to their dormitories and gave both James and Lily a sour face.

James didn’t really have a problem with people being gay either. He also knew that his best friend Sirius was gay and was interested in other men. He also knew that Sirius liked him more than just a friend. He was also noticing that he was finding more and more ways of hiding it. James just couldn’t believe the fact that Sirius wouldn’t even tell him. He was trying to let Sirius tell him that he was gay on his own terms.

About a week past and Sirius was getting really bored of the guy that he was officially dating so he went in search of a new one.

Little did Sirius know that someone else had their eye on him.

Remus just didn’t know what was wrong with him. He had been feeling really weird lately. Every time he set his eye on Sirius his heart would just skip a beat or he’d just mumble all of his words.

He just recently saw Sirius going out with someone else and not long ago dump him.

About a fortnight later after every time looking at Remus his stomach went all weird. Then realization started to kick in. he was starting to fall for Remus even though for a huge amount of time he had greatly liked James. He really liked him since half way through 2nd year.

It was almost end of term and all the Marauders were staying at Hogwarts. Remus didn’t need to since he still had family left but James and Lily didn’t. Death Eaters had been the cause of that and Sirius’s family had disowned him. So clearly he had no family.

As the days wore on Sirius and Remus were avoiding each other and James was noticing. He wanted to do something about it like help them get together. He felt somewhat hurt that his own two friends didn’t trust him enough to tell him and surprisingly Lily was also noticing, she also wanted to help.

James wanted to get Sirius by himself so that he could try and sort it all out. He was going to pretend that he didn’t know so that Sirius could tell him in his own term.

When James did get him to himself Sirius was just always trying to avoid the question.

“Sirius, is there anything that you’d like to tell me?”

Sirius found himself looking into those beautiful hazel eyes and his heart just skipped a beat so he just avoided looking at his best friend. Instead he ended up looking down at his feet.

Ye, there is something I’d like to say. thought Sirius, taking a huge gulp. You look so goddam hot. I just wish you were mine.

James noticed that his best friend had a sour look upon his face. He knew that right now Sirius was thinking about him but he just ignored that feeling cause he also knew that he liked Remus.

“Sirius, please look at me. I just want to help.” James said, hoping that Sirius would look up at him.

“And just how could you help me?” said Sirius, his voice starting to rise out of frustration. Why did James have to keep looking at him like that?

James just let out a big frustrated sigh, running his hand through his already messy hair. Then he just suddenly remembered that Lily didn’t like him ruffling his hair so he made a mental note to stop doing it. “Because Sirius, I know for a fact that you happen to like Remus.” And me. he thought to himself. “And I think you should just go up and ask him. You never know, he just might like you too.” He said with a little smirk appearing on his mouth.

Sirius just thought long and hard on this. He was actually looking rather scared and nervous of the fact that his best friend could know. “H-how do you know?”

“Well, its pretty obvious mate. The way keep stealing glances over at him.” He said with a little chuckle at the way his best friend looked.

Sirius just took a small gulp. “You really think that I should go up to him and ask him out? You really think that he’lled want to go out with me?” he just looked over to James for recognition.

James had stoped chuckling a while ago due to the look on his best friends face. “Ye mate, I think you should.” He walked over to Sirius and placed his hand on his shoulder and said. “Good luck with it all, mate” he removed his hand from his shoulder and noticed that Sirius had goosebumps on him due to his hand being on his shoulder. “Now go and find him and once again good luck.” James saw Lily walking towards him in the distance and started walking over to her.

Sirius liked the way James had placed his hand on him for good luck, he wished that that moment had never ended.

He then went in search of Remus and found him inside the Common Room and went up to him.

Sirius just cleared his throat, hoping attract Remus’s attention.

Remus just looked up at Sirius quizzically, hoping that he didn’t see him blush.

Unfortunately he did but it still didn’t get any easier.

“I-I” he tried to get more words out but words seemed to fail him. He tried again but still nothing came out.

Remus saw him blush and found that Sirius also fancied him as well. He saw Sirius trying to form words and repeatedly fail, so he made the effort to just walk straight up to him and place his finger upon his mouth to try and shut him up, which apparently worked. His head was slowly reaching towards Sirius and once it was close enough he pressed his mouth against his and they kissed passionately.

Suddenly Remus broke the kiss, not that he wanted to but to find a more private spot so as not to get caught.

Sirius was really disappointed but Remus just explained everything to him.

So Sirius and Remus were walking somewhere until they saw Mrs Norris the caretaker’s cat. That meant that Filch the Caretaker was nearby.

Sirius and Remus just bolted out of there and ended up in a room they had never been in before. So they went in there and shut the door.

When they got in there they just sat down and out of breath.

Remus leant over and pulled Sirius towards him into a nice comfortable embrace.

Sirius just leant over and placed his head upon his shoulder, feeling his heartbeat going the same rate as his.

Sirius lifted his head towards his and kissed him.

Remus just deepened the kiss and pulled Sirius even closer than before. Brushing his hands through Sirius’s hair.

Sirius doing the same exact thing.

Remus broke the passionate kiss and started kissing his soft neck, loving the lusus taste.

Sirius’s mouth was feeling left out, so he brought his lovers head towards him and placed his mouth upon his, feeling very content.

After kissing and all the other stuff that couples actually do they got somewhat really tired. They knew they had to go back to their Dormitories but they just couldn’t be bothered, so they just stayed where they were and fell into a nice and deep and dreamy sleep.

When they both woke up next to each other, their arms and legs tangled around each other, they both heard a noise coming into the room. They both turned around to look and saw Regulus standing there, looking down upon them in pure disgust. Not only that but they were both naked.

Regulus just glared down at his brother. He just never thought that his brother would sink so low as to turn completely gay.

He made out of the room, intent on telling his parents about this. They would really hate him now.

Sirius tried calling after him but he was already gone. Ow how he hated him. He swore revenge upon his little brother Regulus.

Sirius just completely forgot that he was stark naked and made to get him but suddenly Remus just held him back, informing him that he was completely naked. So he put on some clothes, sat down and put his hands upon his head.

Remus also put some clothes on. He just couldn’t believe that they had been caught. Not only that but by Regulus, Sirius’s younger brother. Regulus was only two years younger than Sirius.

Regulus got some parchment and ink pen and wrote a letter informing his parents that his elder brother, Sirius, was gay.

After upon finishing writing the letter Regulus just ran straight to the owlery, attached the letter to a barn owl and sent it off to his parents, then wait for the arriving letter.

That was really good. I have to say that if I were Regulus and I saw my brother stark naked I would probably act the same. Wow you really went far on that one, but really good. Post mroe soon

im just trying to make this story really interesting, or do u think im going a bit to far

no I dont ok maybe a little, but it was interesting

Oh um well......Ok Let's just say......hmmm.......It's very....... no comment

you of all people didn't have anything to say. That is shocking.

Yeah well this story kinda freaked me out there for a second. No offense of course. What can I say I give a lot of critisism. Most of the time its good and helpful I think at least.

I did read a bit of this, but I won't anymore; Sirius is blatantly out of character here.

It's good writing, but... I'm not into OOC stuff.

Barker lives!

Originally posted by iluvhp1_7
Barker lives!
Hear hear. barker

Before anyone come off with the wrong Idea with that post abovoe iluvhp's, I don't have a problem with gays or anything, It's just the Out-Of Character thing; Felt like I needed to clarify.

Closed on request.