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Ok, this is my first time writing and I would like some type of feed back.

Chapter 1:
One night a boy named Harry Potter suddenly awoke. Harry didn't the reason why he woke up, but he had a pretty good idea about it. He looked over at the clock that read 12:00. He remembered that at that moment he turned 17 years old. Maybe that was why he was feeling like he was. Turning 17 years old may not be anything special for an ordinary teenager, but Harry Potter is no ordinary teenager. Infact he is a wizard. Harry new that in the wizarding world he has turn of age and is now able to do magic outside of school without any consequences.
Harry suddenly relized that his owl, Hedwig, was at the window holding three letters for him. One of the letters were form Ron. Another was from Hermione. The last one was from Ginny. Harry decided that he would open Ron's letter first. Ron letter said....
Dear Harry,
Happy Birthday mate.Feels good to be 17 doesn't it. Well dad, Hermione, and I are coming to get you at 8:00 so make sure your packed and ready. That should give you enough time to say goodbye and pack.
See You Soon,
Ron
Harry then opened Hermione's next.
Dear Harry,
Happy Birthday!!!! How does it feel to be able to do magic now. Great right!!Now that you are of age you have to start to study for your apparation test coming up soon. The test is important these days.Well I guess I will be seeing you tonight. We will discuss this matter more later.
See You At 8:00,
Hermione
Harry knew that Hermione would say something like that, but as Harry started to look at the last letter he couldn't. He was afraid of what might be inside. He thought about what would be in it, but he still couldn't look in it. So Harry put it aside and got out a quill and parchment to write to Ron and Hermione.
Dear Ron and Hermione,
I will be ready at 8:00. Can't wait to see you.
Harry
Harry then gave the letter to Hedwig and told her to go as fast as possible, but before Hedwig had left Harry gave her a treat and then see was off.
Harry went back to his bed and laid down. He thought about a few things, but then fell back to sleep with the thought of going back to the burrow.

Well it is good no doubt but try to explain things a little more. Like why Harry didn't want to open Ginny's letter, what he thought was inside it and give spaces between the paragraphs. It will look better

mint so far

Thanks and I noticed the same thing

looks great so far post more soon ok

really good! Just remember to explain things more and look it over a couple times before you post. Some spelling stuff and missing words but otherwise i luved it. Can't wait for more!

Harry awoke the next morning at noon. He was suprised that no one had woken him up. When he got out of bed he noticed no smell of breakfast or lunch cooking on the stove. He walked downstairs into the kitchen and saw a note on the table.

Harry ,
We will be at Marge's house all day. Don't mess up the house or you will have to clean it.
Uncle Vernon

Harry was so happy after he read the note .He was going to have the best day he had ever had in this house. All day long Harry did whatever he wanted. Time went quickly by and when Harry looked at the clock it said 7:45, but he didn't care. So he went up stairs and with a flick of his wand he made everything go into his trunck.

When he went back downstairs with his stuff and wrote the Dursleys' a note to tell them where he was going and who he was staying with. He thought they wouldn't care anyway, but he still wrote it.

Outside in the backyard he heard two loud cracks at exactly eight o'clock. When he went to open the door he saw three people looking through the window at him so he opened the door and saw three people. One was his best friend Ron, the second was his best friends dad Mr. Weasley, and the third was his second best friend Hermione.

"All ready Harry?" asked Mr. Weasley with a smile on his face.
" Yeah..... I think so." Harry said not sure of himself.
"Well then we should get going." Mr. Weasley said.
They slowly walk out onto the warm summer air.
"Mr. Weasley, how are we going to get there?" Harry asked. Hoping it wasn't what he was thinking.
"Well Harry, we are going to apparate there." answered Mr Weasley.
"Uh... Mr. Wealey, I can't apparate. I do not have my liscence yet.
"Harry do not worry. Harmoine will be with you and Ron will go with me. Isn't that right Ron."
" Yes dad."
As Hermione reached for Harry's hand there was a cold chill in the air.

so is that better please tell me

it was very good. You should still try to explain things a little more like how he was happy about leaving and such. Try not to repeat things like when Harry's friends came. You said he saw three people twice. Just try to make that you only have to say it once. Otherwise it relli very very good.

thanks and i didn't notice that until i posted it and i was never good at explaining but i will try

its ok!

Wonderful starting.

thanks

great story

I like the story so far! Like the others said, explain certain things more, like how Harry felt when there was a cold chill in the air. Like you could say, "A feeling of dread rose within him,'' or something like that!

I send mines to my Beta before posting it. Write more soon!

good story, post again soon

cool story so far. cant wait for more!

I'll post more soon i have to think first

i liked it you should keep writing but in this cause keep typing lol

Sorry it took so long.

A chill that made them all feel like they will never be happy again. Dementors were comming for them. By the feel of things there was only a few of them.

"Hurry they are coming!" Mr. Weasley shouted, but Harry had no intention of leavingat a time like this.
"Harry we must go now!" Mr. Weasley shouted again. Harry didn't want to go, but he had no choice. Hermoine then grabed his hand and they were gone.

Within seconds the feeling of being pushed through a tube and not being able to breath swept over him. He fely his feet touch the ground and when he opened his eyes he saw one of his favorite places in the world, the burrow. Moments later he was greeted by a plump lady with red hair like the rest of the family.

"How are you doing Harry dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked Harry with a grin on her face.
"I'm fine thank- you." Harry replies.
"Are you hungry dear? Can I get you anything?" Mr. Weasley asked.
"No thank- you. I'm fine." Harry ince again replied.

Harry walked into the kitchen and saw people he knew and people he didn't know. He looked at Ron for an answer.

"Harry don't tell me you forgot about Fleur and Bill's wedding?" Ron asked Harry with a smile on his face. Harry couldn't believe that he forgot about the wedding.

"Hiya Harry!" To familiar voices said. Harry turned around to see the Weasley twins, Fred and George.
"Hey Fred and George." Harry said.
"Now Harry dear go take your stuff upstairs to Ron's room and hurry because I want you to meet a few people." Mrs. Weasley said with a grin on her face.

Forgetting for a minute that he was allowed to do magic out of school he started to take his truck up by hand.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked in a sort of laugh. Harry then pulled out his wand, gave it a quick flick and the truck then started to hover in midair. After he was done taking his truck upstairs, he then waked back down to find Mrs. Weasley.

"Harry come over here please," Mrs. Weasley said " Harry this is Fleur's mother, Mrs. Delacour and her father Mr. Delacour."
"Very nice to meet you."

After meeting several people on Fleur's side Mrs. Weasley then proceeded to the Weasley side of the family. He met uncles, aunts, grandparents, cousins, and the rest of the Weasley's relatives. Finally after meeting everyone he was allowed to talk to people he actully knew.

"Hello Bill and Charlie." Harry said kind of tired.
"Hello Harry." They said in unison.
"I see you met ALL of the family." Bill said in a kind of snort.
" Don't worry I had to go through it too." Hermoine's voice came out of nowhere. "There is just so many people hear!"
"Where is everyone going to sleep?" Harry asked.
"Well we are not sure about that yet." Ron answered from behind Harry.
" Everyone has been driving me mental since they got here and it hasn't even been twenty- four hours!" Geaorge started to complain.
" Thank god the wedding is on Saturday or I might just have to go to a mental instition for peace and quiet." Ginny said coming out of nowhere.

Harry turned to see a beautiful red haired girl coming near the group of people, but Harry couldn't think of her as a girl anymore. She was a young woman. Harry wanted to go over to her and give her a kiss, but then he remembered what he had said to her at Dumbledore's funeral. He remembered he said that they couldn's be together because Voldmort might use her to get to him and he didn't want her to get hurt.

A few hours later when everyone stated to go to bed Harry found himself outside on the porch with Ginny near by. He didn't know how this came tobe, but it did.
"Listen Harry." Ginny began, but Harry interupted.
"Ginny, I know it is hard for you to deal with. It is hard for me too. I never wanted this to happen. I really do want to be with you.
"I want to be with you too, but you won't let it happen because you think Voldmort will use me to get to you. Ginny said with tears filling her eyes. He looked into her eyes and he couldn't hold the urge back anymore. Harry kissed her like he never her before.

When they broke apart Ginny asked, " Why are you doing this to me?"
"I don't know. I kind of lost control of myself. It is so hard to let you go." Harry said beginning to get frustrated.
"Then why can't we just be together if you don't want to let me go?" Ginny said beginning to shout.
"Because of what I said before about Voldmort" Harry said.
"What if I don't care. What if I just want to be with you?" Ginny said and she kissed Harry this time. Harry then knew he can't stop themselves from being apart. He gave in.

"But if we are going to be together you have to listen to me whenever there is trouble because I don't want you to get hurt." Harry said happily but also worried.
"Fine, but you have to come back to school as well." Ginny said happily as well.
"Fine, I will." Harry said with a sort of laugh. They then both went inside to bed.

Tell me what you think and tell me if I explained more.

The next day when everyone was awake they started to set up for the wedding tomorrow. Everyone was such in a rush it was a disaster. Fleur was with Mrs. Weasley saying what and where everything should go. There was an annoying look on Mrs. Weasley's face and Harry could tell why.

"What do they need so many flowers?" Ron asked. When Ron had said this he looked around and saw flowers everywhere.

"No Idea." Harry answered honestly to Ron.

Just then Lupin walked in. He looked different from the last time everyone saw him. He wasn't tired. He had a very clean new look that everyone had never seen. Which was different considering that he always looked a mess. Harry realized why when Tonks walked in looking good as well. She didn't have he pink hair on funny nose, but her soft long brown hair and her real nose. They both walked over to them.

"Hello Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny. How are you doing?" Lupin asked them with a great big smile.

"Fine," they said in unison.

"How have you been?" Hermione asked before anyone could say anything.

"Well," Lupin began as he looked at Tonks, " it has been good. Very good actually."

"Well, we will see you later." Tonks said walking off with Ginny and Hermione.

"So whats going on with you and Lupin?" Hermione asked when they left the room.

"Well, in the beginning of the summer after the funeral we talked about everything. He thought of reasons we should and shouldn't be together. Then I did the same thing after he was done. In the end we both realized that we belong to be together, but he is still worried about everything and ever since it has been going great!" Tonk said with a grin on her face.

that's good but like i said to.......OhIluvHp i think. When your people talk it sounds like the olden days. Like not modern Harry Potter people would talk. Make them sound like regular people. Not like DUDE HEY ! but do you know what I mean?

i like ur story keep posting

yea i know what you mean iluvhpsomuch1 7

i will hopefully be posting tomorrow if everything goes ok

great story!!!! *grins*

thanks

no prob!!! you were the first to comment on my story after all!!!

i think ur stories really good. keep posting plz

ill be posting sometime tonight

or in a minute

It's ok you've written better. Like You repeat yourself, its hard to notice but I can tell you don't have to be that specific lol, oh and its Horcruxes.

that was a lot better

thanks, and thanks for telling me how to spell horcruxes i was wondering about that.

well I am not sure what to do next so if anyone has any Ideas pm me or write it here

yes it was good.

thanks

you going to more soon???

do u mean am i going to post soon than that is yes and do u think i really need the wedding i hat writing weddings

do wateva you want!!! by the way i did mean are you going to post soon...

can you give me some ideas i really dont know what to post

i don't know!!! maybe you could go on to tell about wat ginny did after harry told her or something like that??

thanks d-fly girl any more suggestions

nope!!! sorry!!!

thanks

it was good, i like it. plz keep posting

well I have the next part almost done so I will be posting real soon

thats good. cant wait

well, i would have posted today if my computer didnt go and delete everything I had, but I will write from memory and should be up in two days time. So, get ready for the post. LOL

i'm ready, i'm ready i'm ready, i'm ready
lol



POST!!!!!!!!!!

i hate it when computers just delete everything its just such a drag, its happened to me loads of times lol. its just so annoying. anyway i cant wait for da next post.

Yeah it worked it worked

it was really good and i really liked the part when u made Harry dissappeare

thanks, i might add a new character to it I always wanted to. Should I?

It's your story... and I think it would be a good idea!

i think adding a new character would be gr8. go for it

thanks and I will

Ok, whatever you do, post soon!

you are a very impacient person you know that

No pressure or anything... it's just that I can't wait to read more of your story cause it is soooooooooooooo good! Yes, and I know I can be impatient sometimes.

LOL, i know you didn't mean anything by it, but I need a little more time to make sure the next part of the story is right.

That's fine!

Good

Yep!

No one posted. That makes me very sad. crybaby

OOO!!! I hate cliff hangers!!! Post more soon!!

you didn't answer the question. Who do you think Harry will see? I know you hate cliff hangers, but I had to. So quess if you want the next part.

is it a relative of Harry's or something like that?

No, not relatives I would say friends

Um... Tonks

Closer you need one more person and I will give you the post in two days

Tonks and Lupin.

You are correct now I will post in two days hopefully

yea post post post soon

you really want me to post soon don't you

YES!! I was right!! Oh, and yes, we really want you to post.

ye, that would b good

that was great
write more and post it lol

I am sorry but I'm very confused. Scare? Oh you mean Scar!!! Scare changes the meaning of the whole sentence so its Scar. I'm still confused.

Much <3 --iluvhpsomuch1_7--

sorry for the confusion

the stories gr8! im just luvin it! plz post more soon

Its ok! Again just try to explain things more. I can tell it's a GREAT story. Just a little confusing in some spots. Otherwise its VERY good!

Much <3 --iluvhp1_7--

P.s. It's going to take me a while to get used to signing my new name lol

What spots are confusing? I want to know so I don't do it again. Thanks for the comments everyone though I thought this part was very bad. I was confusing myself when I was writing it. Come to think of it I'm and confusing in person when people are talking to me. I guess it is just my personality.

lol i'm the same way but when i get confused i say stupid things or i do something dorky

yeah, i do the same thing though i don't do stupid thingd instead i do something completely dorky or idiotic

Like who's doing sumthing. Explain who they are more throughly when you introduce a new character. Explain with more detail what is happening. Um here ill give an example from your story.

I was going to explain all of this in the next chapter or should I say segment and thanks for the advice. I will work on it.

Yes, b ut you still have to give us some kind of idea whats happening. You can leave somethings a mystery. Thats the point i can tell thats where you're going. Some of it you really do need to explain. What you need is a BETA. I'm not one but search around and you'll find one.

ok, I'm doing that chapter over again anyways.

hi everyone i am a huge harry potter fan and my friends have no interest in the books (too lazy to read them) but i thought i would talk to people with this same interest as me. shall we talk about horcruxes?

i have been pondering on the thought of who rab is. i thought at firrst it could have been sirius's brother, but regulus a black is dead so that no longer seems possible.

Um... go to the Harry Potter forum for that. I really like this new one better Brit!!!

yea, go to harry potter forum and thanks d-fly

since you're starting over make a new thread. It'll be neater.

i like it. its good.

i also think that u should make a new thread cause it will be much neater

yea me to

Closed on request.