Someone do or say something funny!

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K.Diddy
mad Please!

Dusty
*fart*

K.Diddy
no expression

Pink Maynard
So, this horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

K.Diddy
Originally posted by Pink Maynard
So, this horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"



laughing

Vinny Valentine
God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend on how faithful you were to your wives on Earth.

Man 1: Please God, I can't count how many times I cheated on my wife. There were just too many beautiful women on Earth, and I had to have them all.

God: I am ashamed of you, my man, for that, I give you a run-down truck that barely moves.

Man 2: Dear God, please forgive me! I cheated on my wife once, just once! We were going through problems and I took the wrong turn. Please forgive me!

God: My man, I am ashamed of you too. But I will be kinder to you. For that, I give you a convertible BMW.

Man 3: Dear God, you will be so proud of me. I loved and worshipped my wife. I brought her roses everyday after work, I brought her gifts every aniversary, and we went travelling, and had dinner out three times a week, and...

God: Okay, my man, enough! I get the point. I am very proud of you! For that, I give you any car you desire!

Two weeks later Man 1 and 2 are driving on the freeway when they see Man 3 ahead of them, stopped in the middle of the road in his Black Jaguar.

Man 1 and 2: Hey Man! Why are you sitting in your car and crying your eyes out? You're acting like some ungrateful bugger! Look at your car, man! What is your problem?!

Man 3: I just saw my wife on rollerskates!

Xavius
Bacon Salesman, Ph.D has something to say.


http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d7/shadowtheninja/BaconSalesmanPh.jpg
"Would you like a tub of Bacon? Half off today!"

Eternalist 04
...sorry didnt get that god and man joke.....could you rephrase that?

K.Diddy
Originally posted by Eternalist 04
...sorry didnt get that god and man joke.....could you rephrase that?

I didn't eithier confused

Vinny Valentine
Originally posted by Eternalist 04
...sorry didnt get that god and man joke.....could you rephrase that?


No.

If I say it, it just ruins it for people who are trying to understand.

PM for answer.

Leo.M
Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend on how faithful you were to your wives on Earth.

Man 1: Please God, I can't count how many times I cheated on my wife. There were just too many beautiful women on Earth, and I had to have them all.

God: I am ashamed of you, my man, for that, I give you a run-down truck that barely moves.

Man 2: Dear God, please forgive me! I cheated on my wife once, just once! We were going through problems and I took the wrong turn. Please forgive me!

God: My man, I am ashamed of you too. But I will be kinder to you. For that, I give you a convertible BMW.

Man 3: Dear God, you will be so proud of me. I loved and worshipped my wife. I brought her roses everyday after work, I brought her gifts every aniversary, and we went travelling, and had dinner out three times a week, and...

God: Okay, my man, enough! I get the point. I am very proud of you! For that, I give you any car you desire!

Two weeks later Man 1 and 2 are driving on the freeway when they see Man 3 ahead of them, stopped in the middle of the road in his Black Jaguar.

Man 1 and 2: Hey Man! Why are you sitting in your car and crying your eyes out? You're acting like some ungrateful bugger! Look at your car, man! What is your problem?!

Man 3: I just saw my wife on rollerskates!

I love that one hysterical

Leo.M
Originally posted by Eternalist 04
...sorry didnt get that god and man joke.....could you rephrase that?

Originally posted by K.Diddy
I didn't eithier confused

Think about it... she's on rollerskates and he got a Black Jaguar stick out tongue

Vinny Valentine
Originally posted by Leo.M
Think about it... she's on rollerskates and he got a Black Jaguar stick out tongue

laughing out loud


They're All dead, and they got crappy cars for cheating...

K.Diddy
Originally posted by Leo.M
Think about it... she's on rollerskates and he got a Black Jaguar stick out tongue

laughing I get it now!

The Pict
why did the blonde climb the chain link fence?

to see what was on the other side.

Vinny Valentine
Originally posted by The Pict
why did the blonde climb the chain link fence?

to see what was on the other side.

laughing out loud

Pink Maynard
So this guy walks into a bar


SHOULD HAVE WATCHED WHERE HE WAS GOING lol

DarkC
Originally posted by K.Diddy
mad Please!
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=405974&pagenumber=6#post6604078

K.Diddy
Originally posted by DarkC
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=405974&pagenumber=6#post6604078


laughing

K.Diddy
Originally posted by Pink Maynard
So this guy walks into a bar


SHOULD HAVE WATCHED WHERE HE WAS GOING lol




hysterical

-Tired Hiker-
So there's a bear and a rabbit in the woods, and the bear says to the rabbit, "Hey, when you take a shit, do you ever have a problem with it sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "No."

So the bear takes the rabbit and wipes his ass! laughing laughing laughing






hysterical




















no expression

Vinny Valentine
I've heard that at school haha.


What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?










The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Vinny Valentine
This Made Me Laugh, Alot.




What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?






















Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

-Tired Hiker-
Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
I've heard that at school haha.


Yeah, that's a super old joke form Eddie Murphy's Raw. I'm going to go ask around the newsroom for some new jokes . . . . . .

Eternalist 04
lol i like them both

-Tired Hiker-
Okay, I just learned this one like a minute ago .. ready?


Okay, why do they call it P.M.S??


Because Mad Cow was already taken. hysterical

Vinny Valentine
Originally posted by -Tired Hiker-
Okay, I just learned this one like a minute ago .. ready?


Okay, why do they call it P.M.S??


Because Mad Cow was already taken. hysterical

laughing

Valharu
Originally posted by -Tired Hiker-
Okay, I just learned this one like a minute ago .. ready?


Okay, why do they call it P.M.S??


Because Mad Cow was already taken. hysterical laughing

BakaXero
why did the girl fall off the swing ?





















because she had no arms no expression




why are pirates pirates?















because the RRRRrrrRRrRrrrr............

SpadeKing
Originally posted by K.Diddy
mad Please!

no, because you charged me to damn much last tme I picked you up mad

DanZeke25
A black person walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says "Hey, where'd you get it?"

The parrot replies "Africa."

Vinny Valentine
laughing

K.Diddy
Originally posted by DanZeke25
A black person walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says "Hey, where'd you get it?"

The parrot replies "Africa."

laughing laughing laughing

DanZeke25
Before he was terminated by the Dallas Cowboys football team, Coach Barry Switzer was seeking advice all around the NFL on what ingredient makes for a winning football team. He eventually sought out Steve Mariucci of the San Francisco Forty-Niners, who told him that the MOST important thing to having a winning football team was to have a quarterback who was extremely smart and as proof he took him over to quarterback, Steve Young, and asked Steve this question: "Who is your father's brother's nephew?"
Steve Young without hesitating a moment answered, "Me."
When Switzer returned to the Cowboys practice facilities, he went over to Troy Aikman and asked him the same question: "Who is your father's brother's nephew?"
Troy thought about it for a moment and told the coach he needed some more time to come up with the right answer. Then Troy went over to Deion Sanders and asked Deion the same question.
Deion, replied, "Why it's me!" So Troy Aikman went back to coach Switzer and said, "I have the answer, it's Deion Sanders."
"No, No!" replied Switzer, "you're wrong, it's Steve Young."

K.Diddy
Originally posted by DanZeke25
Before he was terminated by the Dallas Cowboys football team, Coach Barry Switzer was seeking advice all around the NFL on what ingredient makes for a winning football team. He eventually sought out Steve Mariucci of the San Francisco Forty-Niners, who told him that the MOST important thing to having a winning football team was to have a quarterback who was extremely smart and as proof he took him over to quarterback, Steve Young, and asked Steve this question: "Who is your father's brother's nephew?"
Steve Young without hesitating a moment answered, "Me."
When Switzer returned to the Cowboys practice facilities, he went over to Troy Aikman and asked him the same question: "Who is your father's brother's nephew?"
Troy thought about it for a moment and told the coach he needed some more time to come up with the right answer. Then Troy went over to Deion Sanders and asked Deion the same question.
Deion, replied, "Why it's me!" So Troy Aikman went back to coach Switzer and said, "I have the answer, it's Deion Sanders."
"No, No!" replied Switzer, "you're wrong, it's Steve Young."



I ain't reading all that shitconfused

DanZeke25
Originally posted by K.Diddy
I ain't reading all that shitconfused

face-plain

This one is funnier anyway, and prolly longer too. evil face

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Captain REX
Heh...

So this man gets a new job at a car garage, and he's feeling kinda tense, you know. His girlfriend's just left him, and he's looking for a way to release his tension. His boss notices, and tells him to visit the tree behind their office at midnight that night.

That night, he visits the tree and gets his groove on with a small hole near the base of the tree. He's amazed at how great it feels and how much it feels like getting some from a woman, so he comes back each night at midnight.

However, on the final night, he tries again, only to find that he's just been splintered by the tree, and that it hurts immensely. The boss walks up at this time.

"Boss, what happened? The tree stopped working," he says.

"Oh, that's right," the boss replies. "I forgot to tell you. It was your turn tonight."

DanZeke25

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