My New Job As A Security Guard
Okay, I'm not really a security guard.
My girlfriend is at work, so I closed all the curtains turned off all the lights and at every 30 minutes I walk around and check for intruders with my torch and my remote control.
And yes, I will use the remote control.
WHOA!
I'm going to watch Wayne's World!
I'll watch one then two.
Man, this is going to be so kick ass.
I mean, not only do I get to kill people with a torch and shine a remote control in their face but I can also eat some Lobster.
Man, I feel like a woman.
Doo Doo Doo Doooo
Something Something, this song is really old.
A way ay hey.
WHOA!
My remote control can fit under my chair!
And now for the weather.
Today, it's going to be mostly yellow, but with a touch of blue.
Which makes green? Or red, or the other colour.
Wait, green + red = Spleen
Spleen = Bean
Bean = Mr. Bean
Mr. Bean = Fava Bean
Fava Bean = Hannibal Lector
Hannibal Lector = A CANNIBAL!
THE COLOURS EAT EACH OTHER???!?!?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
This is not a drill, this is a screwdriver, a Phillips to be exact.