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Here are the rules:

1) No one other than Drunken Jesus can post in this thread
2) If you are not Drunken Jesus and you are reading this leave NOW
3) Anyone caught posting in here who is not Drunken Jesus will be crushed, using but my thumb and index finger.
4) You shouldn't even be in here whatsoever and should never ever come in here.
5) Main rule to follow is rule number 1, this is my house and no one's invited.
6) Drunken Jesus is the coolest ever and no one can ever be any cooler.

nah ill come in

Sweet, well it's about freakin time.

*Pees all over the place*

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Sweet, well it's about freakin time. I know, it is about time isn't it. Day by day waiting for this day to come and now it's finally here.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Sweet, well it's about freakin time. did you make this thread so people will come in because theyre not supposed to

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
I know, it is about time isn't it. Day by day waiting for this day to come and now it's finally here. I'm psyched.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
I'm psyched. Oh yeah, you'll have a blast.

So what's there to do here anyways?

Wait... are you Drunken Jesus?

I sure am

Well then, you're free to do whatever you like.

Anything I want, eh?

Let's drink until we can't feel feelings anymore!

Anything.

Even make you my *****?

I'm sorry I didn't get that.

wow...mutiple posting....

Even make you my biatch?

Originally posted by TheKingofKINGS!
wow...mutiple posting.... Excuse me, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

*craps on the dog* my lawn wanted to give that present back!

Drunken Jesus, Drunken Jesus called you a fat ass

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Even make you my biatch? Umm... well... yeah I guess you can do that.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Excuse me, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. you noticed somonnes here finally

Don't these people follow rules?

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Don't these people follow rules? I guess they think it's cool beingt a little rebel, well I think it's pathetic.

Jesus is gay

nope, by the way you might want to give your dog a couple baths

Sorry, no.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
I guess they think it's cool beingt a little rebel, well I think it's pathetic. Let's drink to all those little bastards who just want to feel loved.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
I guess they think it's cool beingt a little rebel, well I think it's pathetic.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Let's drink to all those little bastards who just want to feel loved. Word up sista.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Word up sista. HA! That was funny calling me sista, even though you very well know I'm a guy. You're a funny man, funny man that you are. Where do you come up with this shit?

grabs Jesus's beer and drinks it* thanks man

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
HA! That was funny calling me sista, even though you very well know I'm a guy. You're a funny man, funny man that you are. Where do you come up with this shit? Years of practice.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
HA! That was funny calling me sista, even though you very well know I'm a guy. You're a funny man, funny man that you are. Where do you come up with this shit? are you by any chance drunk? right now?

Yeah so I'm just gonna ignore all these people.

mind if i raid your fridge?

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Yeah so I'm just gonna ignore all these people. That's what I'm doing.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Years of practice. you don't need practice to give yourself an orgasim.

that hurt him i'm sure man but it was funny, kinda

Yeah.

This actually made me laugh.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
That's what I'm doing. Good.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Good. Great.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Great. Fantastic.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Fantastic. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

hey kingofkings "game over" for you *punches him out*

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Damn, well you win this round.

lol this is friggin stupid but funny

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Damn, well you win this round. I do indeed, maybe you should stop sucking.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
I do indeed, maybe you should stop sucking. Well we'll see who wins the next round... for the biggest penis.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Well we'll see who wins the next round... for the biggest penis. Pfft. No competition there.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Pfft. No competition there. Oh yeah, we'll see about that. Pull it out.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Oh yeah, we'll see about that. Pull it out. *pulls it out*

Huh. Okay, let's say you win by default.

No no big man, let's see yours now.

I forfeit.

you can't do that. I showed you mine, now you have to show me yours.

Get the hell off my case, I said you win. End of story.

How can you live with yourself?

Yeah, I ask myself that question all the time. I just don't debate it anymore.

you are a wierdo you know that

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Yeah, I ask myself that question all the time. I just don't debate it anymore. Wanna talk about it?

Nah I'm cool. Only girls talk.

Jesus and Jesus >> http://www.world-of-smilies.com/html/images/smilies/gewalt/brutale_17000.gifhttp://www.world-of-smilies.com/html/images/smilies/gewalt/brutale_17000.gif

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Nah I'm cool. Only girls talk. Hey, just so you know I'm here for you buddy.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Hey, just so you know I'm here for you buddy. Yeah yeah okay enough of that now.

I love you man hug

What the hell are you doing?! Get off of me!

Wait.. what was that?

What was what?

Oh god. Please tell me I didn't just feel what I thought I felt.

It wasn't.

I only told you that I lvoed you, in a totally non-gay way.

I'm sorry! When it comes to touching I have no control over myself.

That's goddamn disgusting man. I can't even look at you anymore.

Hey F U I never asked you to hug me.

Sometimes a man just needs another mans' love. You're like a brother to me, but now I have doubts about you. I wanted a tighter friendship with you, but now I'm not too sure.

You know what, you can go to Hell. I'm going to watch Big Brother now.

You actually watch that crap?

Bye.

Yeah sure. Bye.

*kisses*

You know spamming is against the rules.

but it is his thread, and it's his rules

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
You know spamming is against the rules. Does this look like spam to you?

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Does this look like spam to you? Pretty much.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
Does this look like spam to you?

yes

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Pretty much. That's only cause you're a little *****. I'm not bothering anybody.

jerry

dont stop this is funny

fight, fight!

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
That's only cause you're a little *****. I'm not bothering anybody.

Yeah you are, you're bothering me.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Yeah you are, you're bothering me. You know you can ignore this thread if it bothers you. It's not like I'm going in every thread to intentionally be annoying.

he does have a point vinny

*Eats popcorn* essen33

I was just immitating smoking a cigarette with a pen and it made me feel cool so.... um... I think I'm gonna pick up smoking.

Yup. It does make you cool.

I know, I just felt good holding it. I think it goes good for me. But I was holding the pen on the wrong side so it didn't taste too good.

Cigarettes are da bomb!

But hey take my advice and don't start smoking.

Why?

Oh I don't know, maybe because it causes cancer.

Yeah but it makes me look cool so it's an even trade.

And who the hell are to tell me what to do, you just finished telling me that smoking was "da bomb".

I was being sarcastic.

Oh. Every smoker I've asked why they smoked they all came up with the same answer "I don't know". Atleast when I'm asked i can tell them I wanted to look cool.

I think you'll look like a retard.

Hey! We do not like to be called that. It's little people.

So I was thinking of finding myself a cute little cyclops to go out with.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
So I was thinking of finding myself a cute little cyclops to go out with.

1eye

i am here to see jesus do the walk on water action.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
So I was thinking of finding myself a cute little cyclops to go out with. Well good luck with that.

But think about it, how many people do you see walking down the street with one eye?

All right I'll think about it....




















































None.

Exactly. I'll be the only man on earth with a one of a kind girl. And I can honestly say she's "one of a kind".

And where exactly are you going to find this cyclops?

Space.

Oh right space, yes, stupid me.

So if I get her from another planet, imagine what kind of kinky sex we'll be having.

I don't want to.

I have a semi hard on just thinking about it.

Just lovely.... are you done talking yet?

I'll get one with big jugs too. whoa droolio

*knocks you out*

Bumparooni

Yeah, I was gonna type in here but I don't feel like it anymore.

Lazy.

........talking to yourself?

Originally posted by LizzyT123
........talking to yourself? I'm not gonna answer that.

yes, right

Hey man what's up. How's my... whoa, it smells like cock in here.

I'm lonely.

its all you

What have you been doing all day?

Erm... downloading porn, drinking beers, looking at nudy magazines.

um, I walked around a lot today, checked out a cemetary, lmao, you?

So... do you have a life?

This is my life.

I don't see why this isn't closed.

We needs to change that.

yes, I have a life. Its not very exciting now, but it'll catch up sometime, lol

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
We needs to change that. How?

..........what?

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
How? First off, take your pants off.

Originally posted by Drunken Jesus
First off, take your pants off. They're already off.

Next thing I need you to do is turn around.

Okay...

All right, now you might feel a presure entering your anus.