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I started band camp today. I am on the color guard which means that I have to twirl a heavy flag while moving in synchronization with the other band members. It is one hundred degrees outside. We get minimal breaks. Dehydration is imminent. I have invited all 32 members of the color guard over to my house tomorrow to swim at my house. Somebodyshoot me.

I used to play the trumpet back in middle school.

32 sweaty band members in your pool?
Better put some extra chlorene in it tonight!

32? That's a lot of flesh!

She just said swim at my house, no one mentioned a pool

WHat's your address again, Lauren?

Hmmm, think I'll sit here and wait..........actually no I've got a reaction time to beat, I'll just subscribe to the thread.

this reminded me that american pie 2 wasn't very good, but that line which this thread is named after was the best of it.

and that girl who said it, aint she in Buffy??

as you wish lauren...
*takes out shotgun*

yup

Count Dracula is on the pull in Glasgow. He spends the night drinking
Bloody Mary's in various clubs and biting on unsuspecting women's necks.
He is heading for home, wandering along Argyle street sometime before sunrise.

Suddenly he is hit on the back of the head. He looks round and sees
nothing. He looks down and sees a small sausage roll. Mmmm, he thinks. What's going on here. A few yards further on and....BANG.

Smacked on the back of the head again! He whirls round as quick as he
can, nothing. Again he looks down and there is a small triangular sandwich lying on the ground. How odd!! A few yards further along the street and...CRASH.

Smacked on the back of the head again!! He whirls round as quick as he
can, nothing. He's getting really angry now. Again he looks down and there is a cocktail sausage lying on the ground.

He stands and peers into the darkness of the night.

Nothing.

He walks a few yards further on when he gets a tap on the shoulder. With a swirl of his cape and a cloud of mist he turns as fast as he can. He
feels a sharp pain in his heart. He falls to the ground clutching his
chest, which is punctured by a small cocktail stick laden with a chunk of cheese and pineapple.

On the ground dying, he looks up and sees a young female. With his dying breath he gasps, wh...who...who are you?

She replies my name is ...........


Buffet, the vampire slayer

you remind yourself a lot huh?
well, keep reminding

I didn't remind myself, mah and finit did talking about Buffy.

ah, but you came with the joke

do you remember all these jokes, corran? I suck at remembering jokes

Was the Buffet joke meant to be funny?

most jokes are

pay it no mind corran, he's dutch

I know a lot of jokes, somethings people say trigger the memory, it's not so easy to just come out and start saying jokes, you need a subject or someone to be the trigger and then it'll just come to you. The older you get the more you hear, and the more you can recall.

impressive

the more stuff you forget

who are you?

I'm the amnesia man

I like it, Corran. I thought it was funny !


Lauren, I hope you have some kind of snacks for all those people.

Thank you, if I make one person laugh, I'm happy.

Just don't quit your day job.

nah the scots are to heap to give their blood away, even to a vampire

Ah, gee, not colour guard duty...

Lauren, you can take comfort in the fact there is absolutely no way at all that your uniform can be less comfortable than the one I used to have to wear.

*jumps on table*
story time! story time! story time!

please?

What?

like...what wear? where wear? how wear?

Yers loves to hear stories about men in uniform!
Fetish freak!

I am sure this was posted about.. a long time ago though.

I was in a very highly regarded Corps of Drums when I was at school. As direct 'descendants' of the Essex Regiment that captured the French Eagle at Talavera we were the onlt unit in the world still permitted to wear the scarlet tunics of the Napoleonic era and we had the authentic drums from the period as well (though we didn't play them; too fragile). It was an honour to be in it, and doubly so to play for the Queen in it as I did once.

But that uniform might have looked the business, but it was pure evil to wear.

and finally I get the Napoleon jokes they once posted!

ah! big honor huh?

Little Drummer Boy!

I certainly was; you should see the pics of me in it when I was 12.

Yes it was, yerss.

that sounds like a new picture thread....

Post your pics Ush, make Yers' day!

Well, I'll have to find them and scan them in...

it's a deal than?
you suply the pictures and the scanner and I'll suply the webspace if needed

I have a NOT 12 year old shot I could post right now.

go ahead and post

is it the black and white one?

Sorry, did I look like I was in uniform in that shot or something???

no, could only see the head

And the top of the t-shirt I was wearing, and I was at home... what a weird idea!

ah, just post the picture!

Well, I am worried it will be mistaken for a domestic shot now! I believe it has been posted before, anyway.

Post it!!!!

We're getting bags and windbreakers and the flag designs are all planned out. We're doing Everything's Coming Up Roses, a medley of Jesus Christ Superstar, Mambo, and Favorite Things.

And the swimming lunch was much easier than I imagined.

Swimming lunch?
Theres bologne and pickles floating around in Lauren's pool!

Isn't Sushi a swimming lunch?

you ever heared of a normal idea from me?

The guard captain stood behind me all of yesterday and kept waiting for me to screw up. It was not cool. Apparently I've been doing the entire routine wrong, but after that she kept targeting me.

That's pretty much the way it works...