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Looking at it realistically, the sith obviously either never got any, or ain't getting it enough or not at all anymore

I mean take Prune Face (Sidious), he obviously got gipped at some point as he suddenly became all vengeful and world dominationey. My guess is he saw that as his way to show them all. Probably got locked in the spice hold in High School

Now Spike Boy (Maul), come on, those tatts might get some girls interested but that smile - dead in the water. I mean, for most guys to choose a girl it depends on whether they see themselves able to have sex with her whereas for most girls its whether they see themselves able to kiss him. And Maul ends that in a heartbeat the moment he smiles. Probably explains why he doesn't smile

Old Fart (Tyranus), Hmm, easy one, too old to get the old pump running. And no mention of viagra in the galaxy. Could have solved war if Padme had of slept with him though. 'Count Dooku, former Jedi Master and Count of Serenno passed away late last night from a suspected coronary. Sources say he died with a smile on his face though'. LOL

Roborooter (Vader), See, point in case, plenty of Nookie till he becomes sith. Then no action. Maybe they forgot to reattach that certain part after the total makeover. Whoever his stylist was should be shot though, That look just don't do it for the women. Even his Daughter who wasn't above the ol incestuous kiss here and there pretty much wanted to run away.

Besides if they got laid more, then they wouldn't go around starting wars cause they would be enjoying a post root ciggie and chillin, not chopping people up

Happy people don't want to kill people. somethin about endorphins and such

Anakin(Who is Vader) isn't a virgin.

Palpatine had Roganda Ismaren, Ysanne Isard and a harem of Twi'lek women...he had nothing to prove

Originally posted by Lightsnake
Palpatine had Roganda Ismaren, Ysanne Isard and a harem of Twi'lek women...he had nothing to prove

Ew . . . Palpatine had sex with Isard? *vomits*

In all of Michael Stackpoles starwars books theirs a women.

Originally posted by Lightsnake
Palpatine had Roganda Ismaren, Ysanne Isard and a harem of Twi'lek women...he had nothing to prove
Palpatine clearly liked his 'women' young...

Anakin not a virgin. Read the opening sentence of my first post.

As for having Palps having a harem, A lot of people like having beautiful women around, does not mean that they are getting it on with them. A lot of people (Possibly even in SW galaxy) equate a bevy of beautiful women with success and power.

I agree with Escape about Ysanne Isaard. Just plain wrong. Plus there was never any mention about intimacy between his "Hands" and himself. Even though there is mention of Mara being his Concubine only implies a sexual relation, and there was nothing in the novels that included Mara that hinted at her ever having consumating her status with palps. Only her and Lando (Which was a ruse anyway) and her and Luke.

Mara Jade was the "Emperor's Hand"...

and we know what hands are used for sometimes...

What of Darth Traya?

Okay,

KOTOR II

Fish Eyes (Traya), Obviously never had the cock. I mean definate turn off to look at those eyes. She may be into girls though as she definately had the hots for the Exile. But I don't think that anyone of either sex was game to go there.

Elephant Man (Nihilus) Obviously compensating for gross disfigurement with that mask. I mean hear the way he talks, most likely suffered flesh rottage and has not much left of mouth including but not limited to lips, tongue, teeth, jaw and possibly all of the above. I mean, he basically just hisses.

Mr. Impotence (Sion) Broken and cracked flesh, More than obvious that something wouldn't work anymore. And if someone tried, quite possible that it may have broken off or become detachable. Not much good there

Um . . . (this thread's gonna get locked, lol) - but Traya did have a pretty strong fascination with Revan . . .

THis is not meant as a thread to P*** people off

More as one to provide humour and a laugh and to be a remedy for all the stressfull debates and arguements taking place in the other threads

Hopefully the moderators realise this and allow a bit of harmless joking for us - being all debators on this forum - to let off some quips designed to make everyone smile and relax rather than grit there teeth and headbut nearest wall

Im deeply offended about your comment regarding Count Dooku.

HAHAHAHAHA. All the other ones are funny as though!! Well done!!

I wonder what Sion's penis would look like...

^

What the ****?!!

Originally posted by Generic Hero
I wonder what Sion's penis would look like...


Umm..K?

He may have not been a Sith, but Desann had something going on with Tavion. So Dark Jedi do, but Sith don't eh?

What about the peeps from the tales of the jedi comics?

i dont think its a great priority for sith. their obsession with power and revenge would consume alot of their life. like sidious said in the vader novel, power is its own reward. vader was angry that his body was crippled and he couldnt enjoy all the perks power brings, and sidious told him that power itself is the only reward worth anything. but im sure if they have alot of sex their lust for power and domination would be a part of it...

This IS Star Wars, you know. Sex doesn't seem to exist. Padme got pregnant by hugging.

This thread is retarded!!!! What the hell????

Youra face is retarded!!!!!!!!!!!!





Sorry, you just set yourself up so well, I couldn't resist.


ANd uh..even if we don't know about the Sith, we do know that Mace was getting some. He's Samuel L Jackson for crying out loud. He's probably banged Aayla, his own padawans....Padme... hell, thats probably why Anakin cut his arm off in the first place.

*Anakin comes home*

"Padme I'm back from the clone wars and-WHAT THE F*CK!" He yells as he walks into hsi room to see Padme giving Mace head.

Ew...Don't even wanna think about tat really...

Originally posted by Blaxican Hydra
Youra face is retarded!!!!!!!!!!!!





Sorry, you just set yourself up so well, I couldn't resist.


ANd uh..even if we don't know about the Sith, we do know that Mace was getting some. He's Samuel L Jackson for crying out loud. He's probably banged Aayla, his own padawans....Padme... hell, thats probably why Anakin cut his arm off in the first place.

*Anakin comes home*

"Padme I'm back from the clone wars and-WHAT THE F*CK!" He yells as he walks into hsi room to see Padme giving Mace head.

Ew...Don't even wanna think about tat really...

lmao

Originally posted by Blaxican Hydra
Youra face is retarded!!!!!!!!!!!!





Sorry, you just set yourself up so well, I couldn't resist.


ANd uh..even if we don't know about the Sith, we do know that Mace was getting some. He's Samuel L Jackson for crying out loud. He's probably banged Aayla, his own padawans....Padme... hell, thats probably why Anakin cut his arm off in the first place.

*Anakin comes home*

"Padme I'm back from the clone wars and-WHAT THE F*CK!" He yells as he walks into hsi room to see Padme giving Mace head.

Ew...Don't even wanna think about tat really...

OMG! HAHAHA



LMAO!!!

Omg this thread is too funny.

Originally posted by Ushgarak
This IS Star Wars, you know. Sex doesn't seem to exist. Padme got pregnant by hugging.

No no no, it's all done by Force Impregnate, new Jedi power...

Originally posted by Blaxican Hydra
Youra face is retarded!!!!!!!!!!!!





Sorry, you just set yourself up so well, I couldn't resist.
I know.. I should learn to keep my toungue in my mouth when someone takes a picture of me.

Is that you in the avater underlord.

Yes it's him...

Yes, and I look retarded.. weep

I was under the impression Jedi were all mostly virgin.

Kit Fisto, Aalya Secura, Master Tholme, Mace Windu's master (I forgot her name), Quinlan Vos, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Siri Tachi, Qui-Gon Jinn, Master Tahl, Anakin Skywalker and Ki-Adi Mundi were all not virgins.

Yeah, now how many is that out of tens of thousands?

I wasn't disputing what you said, dude. I was just saying. I agree, most jedi are virgins.

Must be with those mullets

Well, jedi are forbidden to form attachment and sith aren't so jedi will screw around because they feel like rebels that way or the writers of EU are just weird and sith apparently forget to do it according to GM Nebaris.
Well, whatever, I really could care less..

I know why Palpatine could not have sex. He decided to see how it felt to sent a little tingle of force lighting on his **** one day when he was all alone. Well he overdid it and it become all wrinkle and old looking. Messed up so much that viagra would not even help him get it up. Remember what his force lightning did to his face after all. lol

As for Anakin. The only chick he was ever with was Padme. He didn't know how to talk to girls. And I doubt he even got any other girls in between episodes 1 and 2 because he was to busy missing her. Then to make matters worse, once he became all mechanicle he flipped out because he realized his **** was no longer there. He realized that right after he was told Padme was dead. That was the reason he shook the whole building. lol

Dooku, well I bet he got action earlier on in life. As he got older he was forced to realy on Viagra. if they even had any. To make matters worse his bowels were not as reguler so he was constipated quite often. It is no wonder he went to the dark side.

Yoda- Not sure what action he got before the fall of the jedi. But I bet he has constipation problems too. Just look how he walked. We know he was not getting any action on Dagobah. If I had been Luke I would have been afraid to walk into the hut of Yoda's. lol

Do not think Obi-Wan got much action in the PT time period. As for his time spent hiding on Tatooine. Well I am sure after a while he got sick of talking to Qui-Gon and made frequant trips to Mos Eisly and used the force to pick up chicks and shack up at the local motel. lol

Mace man...it'sall about Mace...

Originally posted by Blaxican Hydra
Mace man...it'sall about Mace...


Mace is one of the few I can not crack a big joke about. I doubt he was constipate or a Virgin. It did look like he always had something up his ass though the way he acted. Maybe an experiment with a lightsaber gone wrong. lol

Now we look at

Mr. Cunnilinguphobia (Darth Malak). Obviously we have one really twisted dude here. This guy is definately Mysognistic. I mean to purposefully remove your bottom jaw just to install a nice red light, all because he has an irrational fear about exploring a female tongue style. Somehow I think Bastila might be to blame for this. Either that or Revan suggested his old Teacher as the prime candidate. Ol' Fish Eyes would probably have me removing my tongue as well.

Mr Nobody. (Darth Revan). Now this one is easy. Poor guy can't remember things. I mean, he wouldn't remember dates, phone calls, or names. Or even how to get it up. Might have even opted for cosmetic surgery after discovering said appendage. "Whats this thing for again". I mean the last thing you want when you pick up is to get home and not even realise you forgot to bring the GIRL.

Beverly Hills 90210 Rejected Lead (Darth Bandon) I mean think about this. This dark lord of the mirror sith could not stop mirror looking into mirror anything that would mirror reflect his image mirror back to him. No wonder he was such a pushover, probably tried to see his mirror reflection in your mirror lightsaber. Also was rejected from having a part in above TV show. Instead the part went to Brandon, no wonder he can't stop mirror checking on himself. Being knocked back from said show mirror would create a low self esteem. Due to all this mirror looking, a girl would only block his view mirror of himself. "Damn woman, get out of my way, I can't see myself"

Tales of the Jedi,


Eunuch (Freedon Nadd) - enough said. He Freed his own Nadds. Drastic, but guaranteed to keep you out of the henhouse so to speak. Rumoured to be highly sought by the Sith Galaxy Choir. SOmething about having a new found ability to sing a much higher soprano.

Pussy Hater (Exar Kun). Easy one here. I mean take his name. Ex's are C***s. Pure and simple. Probably did have a girlfriend at some stage. But she saw his lightsaber and thought it was a vibroblade. Next thing you know his wielding a double (donger) ender. Clearly hates women by now. Also explains why he was so mad at his master Vodo Siosk Bas. Anyone else smell fish.

Please F*** Me (Ulic Qel-Droma). Now this guy was so horny. 24/7. And along comes his absolute dream girl. Nomi Sunrider. Blast IT. she's a Jedi. Can't get involved. What shall I do? How do I bang this girl? Blasted Jedi Code. I know. Destroy Republic, Kill Jedi, End Code. Root Girl. Another great jedi brought down because he wanted to go to pussy town.

I would start on the new sith (Legacy) but can't get my hands on the comics to be able to learn them

will look at Darth Bane and Plagueis once we have more knowledge on them.

If there are any other sith out there, let me know and will perform my unique brand of psychoanalysis on them for your reading entertainment.

Actually I should say that

SITH = NUN

as in


AINT GOT NUN
DONT WANT NUN
AINT GONNA GET NUN

I dont get it

trust you Blaxican

If I could stop laughing long enough to type

I can give you a run down on the Legacy Sith. I'll say that most of the women Sith are not virgins, because Krayt knows how to handle his Sith hoes...

Meanwhile, all the other Sith guys are definitely virgins. Krayt don't let them touch.

Is Krayt able to survive without his giant armor then?

He uses the Force to bone them through the armor. ermm

Ew.. painful. His armors all unlunbriated and stuff...

So sith girls are into bondage and S&M.


Sweeet

No wonder the jedi feared the Dark Side.

(Image of Aayla tied spread eagled to a bed) - - - - -

Woooopss

Now we come to it at last

Frankensteins Bride (Darth Plagueis). Poor Poor Man, tried so hard to find a gf and not one girl in the universe would have him. So what is a Dark Lord to do. WHY CREATE A GIRL. so he manages to convince the Midi Chlorians to create life and out pops..............ANAKIN. Can't say it didn't work as he still got a whining *****. LOLOLOL

sorry for that blockage should have read B***H

I'm pretty sure Dooku was a pimp back in the day. Just like Clinton , he seems to be one of those dudes who can talk a ladies pants off.

Originally posted by Darth Callous
I'm pretty sure Dooku was a pimp back in the day. Just like Clinton , he seems to be one of those dudes who can talk a ladies pants off.

HAHAHAHAHAHA AMEN!!!!!

THATS THE BEST THING I HAVE HEARD ALL YEAR!!! WELL WRITTEN!!clapclapclapclapclap

You like Dooku?

Yes, He was a silver tongued devil. Very possible that he could have talked a girl out of her pants, or just force removed them. However, he still has the viagra problem

it don't exist in a galaxy far far away

Originally posted by Archangelysses
Yes, He was a silver tongued devil. Very possible that he could have talked a girl out of her pants, or just force removed them. However, he still has the viagra problem

it don't exist in a galaxy far far away

Or maybe he coulda Force-Gripped his cock to make it hard ...

Originally posted by Rampant ox
HAHAHAHAHAHA AMEN!!!!!

THATS THE BEST THING I HAVE HEARD ALL YEAR!!! WELL WRITTEN!!clapclapclapclapclap

Seriously......you like Dooku a bit too much, dude!

I'm a fan of Dooku, in fact he's my favorite villain in the PT; he has style, charisma, and debonair, BUT I don't worship his cock like YOU do!

Originally posted by overlord
You like Dooku?

Ya think?

Originally posted by Darth Callous
Or maybe he coulda Force-Gripped his cock to make it hard ...



Seriously......you like Dooku a bit too much, dude!

I'm a fan of Dooku, in fact he's my favorite villain in the PT; he has style, charisma, and debonair, BUT I don't worship his cock like YOU do!



Ya think?

You do realise that you mentioned the C word twice in that one post? Naughty naughty...

Sure hope Darth Callous is female or that is way too much preoccupation with the wrong c word then

Originally posted by Ushgarak
This IS Star Wars, you know. Sex doesn't seem to exist. Padme got pregnant by hugging.

HAHA


Yea i know its a little late haha

Heh this is funny s**t!
Though I have to protest against the abuse Count Dooku has to suffer at people who associate old age with incontinence and the like. It doesnt make the prospect of being old any nicer and actually HAVING such illnesses must be hell!
I just had to say that as Chris Lee is one of my favourite actors and needs someone to support him in case he happens to be viewing this forum!

Christoper Lee himself is a brilliant actor and an extremely charming, captivating and an undeniably intelligent conversationalist. In no way, shape or form, am I directing any of the comments that I have made towards the man himself.

The comments on Tyranus are directed at the character himself

BTW, Incontinence and Impotence are really very different.

Otherwise, I am glad you appreciate the humor

they never have sex ?/ do u think luke banged mara occasionaly or they had a kid by "the force" the same way ani was born

Luke allowed Sex, happy Jedi are loyal Jedi

lmao

This isn't about Jedi getting it on

It's about the sith getting it on

wait nihilus hisses right? maybe his penis hisses too... and shoots white stuff which drains all life

I thought Nihilus was a woman?

women? O.o naw hes a guy
or r u trying to say hes a man and a women ahem with fake boobs

Ok, gotten too silly. Closed.