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type in your poem...... selfmade or others.....

Three blind mice
See how they run
..WHERE THE F*CK ARE THEY GOIN'?!

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
..JACK BURNT OFF HIS F*CKING D**K!

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater
Had a wife, loved to beat her.
Smacked her twice across the head
..F**KED HER A** AND WENT TO BED!!!

Here's something from The Diceman!!!!
funny

Yeah, Mujaffa. Watch your language. . . you stupid f**ker.

Mind your language you dumb@$$.

Well, you *&%(*&^ and *%^$#^%$ and you like to !@&%$# and then *(#^%%#.

And another thing. . . it really bothers me when you *^$% while you are *@$@$$%$%.

. . . . son of a $^#&^

This is too funny...

My favorite poem:

Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold
Her early's leaves a flower
But only so an hour
Then leaf subsides to leaf
So Eden sank to grief
So Dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.

by Robert Frost

Mine's.......


Mary had a little lamb,
she kept it in a bucket,
.......


On second thoughts, forget it.

I can only imagine what that would have said.

These are more like nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Stop it ! Stop it !


OMG, I'm rolling on the floor !!

corran does have a way with comedy

He's better than Patch Adams.

And I've never even seen Patch Adams.

I recommend you watch Patch Adams at the next available chance you get, I think the Role could have been written for Robin Williams he was excellent.
And so more of the same:

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon

*adds Patch Adams to rental list*

*makes note to smack Corran if it sucks*

just smack him now Gundy, you can always say sorry ... later on

If you do smack me now Gundy, you can always kiss me better I suppose.

either way you enjoy it

Oh I guarantee he'll enjoy it.

Guaranteed. Well that sounds most interesting.

*holds camera ready*

*puts hand over camera lense*

no photos here. Move along.

no photos?
*takes filmcamera out*

Hey Gundy! You promised I was your only spank-ee.

Well maybe if you'd take that damn pillow off your face sometime. It is morning you know. The aliens all went home.

to Holland

While I am here waiting.

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little franky.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.

very good ones! the two in the middle especially

I think the last one is the funnier.

Little franky. Hehehe.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with two fifty
..THAT ****!

Itsy bitsy spider
Living in my crotch
Every time it bites me
..ANOTHER BIG RED BLOTCH!

Little Boy Blue.
..HE NEEDED THE MONEY!

still going with the diceman

Mary had a little lamb
She kept in her backyard
When she took her panties off
His wooley d**k got hard

dice rules....

Mary Had a little lamb
she also had a duck
She put them on the mantlepiece
so they could..........

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I ........ your mother's ass
And she had you

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
A merry old soul was he
He chewed off his ***, ate his own shit
Washed it down with some tea

Every single one of you is sick sick sick

except me who hasn't posted a single sick poem

with the upper-class yes

which is equal to pretty low

Poem of someone I know:

Happyness

I hate it
I don't want to know myself anymore
It's the one in the mirror
looking at me
staring at me
laughing at me
it's the one in the mirror
who doesn't know who he is
nor what he can do
he's the one with no life
he's the one with absolute nothing
Who can see it?
The mirror in front of you
the mirror that shows yourself
the mirror that helps you
I hate it
No one wants to know him anymore
Hate him
but don't look in the mirror
the mirror of the soul
the burned soul of me
the one that is sick
the one that does not understand
the one that can't get understanded
I hate it
but there is nothing you can do
you have to leave him
you have to abondon the one in the mirror
the one that is burned
the one that hates himself

nice one, who is it from?

you don't know him

aah not sander

no, luckily enough

tik tik tik
de emmer loopt vol

I'm gonna post my cave poem I think

see if these guys find the meaning

man, if even I can find the meaning, surely THEY can too!

prolly still a nice poem tho

The Golden Cave

It's a place where we go
When we need a brake from reality
Whenever we get there we feel fine and relevied
We know that there we will always have friends

It's a place of smoke and mists
Where the clothed butterflies
And two legged barrels of all kinds
Join together.
Under the strange and colourful lights

The liquid gold is used all the time
A thousand flavours a million colours
And then we always feel the rythme
And always find the flow

It's a place where we all can howl to the moon
Where we all can chant the same texts
Where the stream of tones is always right
Where the angels cry and the devils laugh
Where the hobbits rule the world

Yet still we long for it every moment of our weeks.


I know it doesn't ryhme, I know the spelling ain't correct but IDO NOT CARE

you didn't include the hobbit/dwarf phrase

it's in now yerss

mesa happy now

c'mon ppl try to guess, the winner gets a nice price very nice one

what is it, and can I win it?

no u know it so u can't win it

mah, if you want to win, let me know

I guess it's something about a...cave..right? ah, nevermind, too difficult

you ... could... classify it as a cave...

lol c'mon guess a bit more

is it about an underground club, deep in the city in the most shabby street, where drugs are taken and a wild sexual orgy takes place every night... or am I a bit off-track?

seriously though, I dont know

there's a club with those orgies in my town and I wasn't notified?

*smacks FM*
thanks a lot!

lol u could call it a club but everything else is wrong, maybe not the drug part depends what u call drugs

oh! one of those belgian and dutch marijuana-clubs where you sit and smoke and discuss the wallpaper.

nha mah it's just a bar, no idea where u got the drug idea from tho

you said you did drugs!
''everything else is wrong, maybe not the drug part ''

yea, but u started the drugs, so where did u get the idea from?

well you know...belgians/dutch, there's only one thing they do in their spare time j/k

watching SW?

making waffles

bwa, mah depends but some belgians and dutchies are like that
*looking at my bro*

some? SOME? ha!

please pass the waffles!

they it that way in norway?

humpty dumpty f**ked you in the a**

do you know ur-anus??
i sure don't

"Herald the day, when we can all be satisfied
and leave our hungers behind. The colour of
blood is always the same, when the rainbow of
the world is pricked with reality's pin. Herald
the day when we can always appreciate one
another. Oh bless the day! But the cycle of life
is a wonderful thing. Hope is the mother of
solution. Revolution is in the air."



dont ask..just dont ask..some of u probably kno where i got it..

"The mystery of life can be an ominous thing.
Are we strong enough to cope with the fear of
not knowing? I'm always questioning myself,
my strength. Sometimes I feel that I am not
allowed to be weak. I realise strength has a
million faces. People can drain your soul in so
many ways. My late Grandfather always said
'Never let your eyes reveal what your mind is
thinking, sometimes you have to act foolish to
catch wise.' Are you strong enough to look
yourself in the eye?"


same source..like i said, dont ask..

Patty cake, patty cake
Baker's man
If your chick's on her period
F**k her in the can

very nice you make yerself

no it is from a group called Art of noise and the song is Paranomia, and it is a data animated charachter called Max Headroom who is singing/chatting

This is a poem about pain..hihi...


Pain is good..
the reason pain is good is:
pain is an ilusion
an ilusion is a dream
a dream is good
thats why pain is good!
Semper Fidelis..

fine...u guys want a stupid poem?? here:

jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marajuanna
jack got high, pulled down his fly and jill said 'i dont wanna'

really old and stupid..but i dont go researching these things like u guys do

i u want real poetry read this:

Sometimes I am blind, I cannot see. I
cannot find my way. I know how it feels not to
know the reason why. Why do we keep
fighting? There must be a better way. Each of
us is trying to cope to make a better day. The
only entity that travels through time is the
soul. It's hard to release the pressure that keeps
us in the prison of the Crazy Maze. Seek solace
in love.

hehe, cool once!

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
That f**kin' whore

made for that one girl you talked about with Natalie on friday?

hmm, don't remember talkin' to nathalie about a girl

but if u mean els, no this ain't for els
this isn't good enough for els

with els I don't have to use assume or hope
with els I KNOW

no worry, I read you the first time

like said; it's not bad

depends

mary had a little bike,
she rode it on the grass,
every time the wheel went round,
a spoke went up her ass!

Little jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating a pizza pie
He shit pepperoni, blew his friend Tony
And wiped his mouth on his tie

lol it's not my fault it's this quick reply thingy's fault

mary had a little lamb,
she walked it down the road,
one day it ate a load of C4,
and she stood and watched it explode!

Needs a little work on the 3rd line.

why? looks fine to me
not really my kinda poem but nice goin' anywayz

just some thing I made up in my oh, so boring GCSE Maths re-sit class.
any one think of some thing better?

oh! I've got a good one which my sister told me:

mirror, mirror, on the wall,
whos the fairest of them all?
the mirror smiled and gave a grunt,
not you, you f**king ugly c**t!

Huh, huh, huh, huh you said c**t.

what is so funny about that, corran?

Huh, huh, it's just funny.

who tickled your funny bone?

Err you!

weird considering I dont think I'm that funny and I dont think the poem was that funny either!

But you posted it thinking it funny, otherwise you would not have done so.

true, but still it wasnt that funny, think about it!

Nope it's still funny.

ok you just carry on giggling to yourself!

there was a mouse called keith,
who circumsied dicks with his teeth,
not for leisure,
or sexual pleasure,
but for the cheese underneath!

Now that's not funny, it's just disgusting.

A nasty one

lyric:
this is from Kevin Bloody Wilson' album, but I can remember the name of the song:

oi! what times f**king smoko?
what time do we knock off?
I'm busting for a f**king s**t so, wheres the thunder box?
Do we get our daily rolling weed, and six cold cans of piss,
and can any bastard tell me, who's f**king show is this?

ah...ha...

glad to see your amused!

Hickory dickory dock

bin Laden jerked off his cock

the clock went BOM!

we dropped the bomb

and buried the f**k under a huge rock

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner
Drinking his vodka and beer
He couldn't get a hard-on
So he blew bin Laden
and wiped his mouth on his beard

okie?

contunied: from teachers point of veiw:

there aint no f**king smoko!
I'll say when we knock off,
I'll tell you when to f**king s**t too, coz I'm the f**king boss.
there aint no daily rolling weed, you'll get f**k all here for free,
and if you wanna know who runns this show...it's f**king me!

rightio..

ok.....

Little Bo Peep ****ed her sheep
Blew a horse, licked his feet
She ate his ass so very nice
Tongued his balls not once but twice


Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
Your mother's a whore
I ain't your pop

FIre, that poem for whoever it was, it was good...I liked it.

No longer will I stand alone
Without a hand to guide me
No longer will I be alone
But I'll have you beside me
And when I call out in the dark
There will be an answer
And in that old and tired dark
No longer will I receive a faint answer
But I will be caught in the arms
Of the one I longed for now and forever after

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

You should make a book out of that one, Mujaffa.

Can't see it ever catching on or being good enough subject material to make a book of.

boooooooooooooooooooooring

hehe

*yawn!, falls asleep on desk*

remind me to post the spelling checker poem!

Yerss, post the smelling checker program.

Eye have a spelling checker.
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue,
miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a quay and type a word.
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write:
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it.
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh:
My chequer tolled me sow.

Very good. It failed on the grammar check though.

the next one will be Ode to the grammar check

Shouldn't that be Ode to the Grandma cheque?

*falls off chair, still asleep*

tired lately?

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZzzzZzZzzZZzZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ
Zz..........

The Smell of Grandpa

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So Jack ignored those flabby ****
And licked her ******* clean

hickory dickory dot
your mother was s***ing my cock
the clock struck two
i dropped my goo and
dumped you mother on the next block
BADA-BING

Mary had a little lamb
The Vet was SO surprised.