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...For what they're worth, here are my blasphemous recommendations/considerations regarding a few topics at hand. A few views on purpetual shit shall be seasoned about.

Toilet Paper: Conserve toilet paper by jumping in the shower when you're done.

Birth Control: The best approach to this age old question is simple, consume as many fatty foods as possible. Push your fat sow, er...I mean significant other past the brink of obesity. Because with that many folds of skin, does it even matter if your using the main door?

Gay Sex: It's fine. In public? Sure! You just need a permit. For five cents you may purchase a temporary ten minute permit from me, however, if you wish for a permanent permit, you must cough up $350,000 and also pay for the entire six years of school I will have to endure. Not to mention the extra $120,990 for my campaign to become a senator, and from there on we'll talk. However, be aware I might use the money for the sole purpose of purchasing sweets, half of which I won't even eat, just the fact that I own them and a small child in a third-world country doesn't, will fill me with delight. Glee will be thrown in there if you're lucky!

Gas Prices: Shut the hell up and start getting as cheap as porn. I have grown tired of carrying attractive women on my lap. My wheelchair is meant for one person only and you women adore lying about you weight.

Jack Thompson: Stop saying things and being the epitome of ignorance. Also take a read through my gay sex solution. You and Lieberman will be very happy.

Rats: Start disciplining radioactive mutants.

Turtles: Start crawling in toxic waste.

Ninjas: Start being turtles.

Hamburgler: Get your ass back in prison.

Barney The Dinosaur: Shut the hell up.

Japan: give me free stuff! And shut the hell up.

Anime: Okay, we get it, everyone in Japan has giant saucer eyes. Happy?

Hentai: You are the funniest shit I've ever seen.

O.J. Simpson: Stop giving orange juice a bad name. Don't make me start a petition in favor of changing it's name to Hitler Juice.

Dogs: Learn to pick your own shit up.

Make-up Wearing Tight Clothed Teens: You're not vampires, so make like the damn purple dinosaur and shut the hell up.

Monkeys: Continue making me laugh with your shenanigans of flung poopery.

Fans of the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise: Shut the hell up and realize that pirates were murdering, lewd, vile, thieving rapists bent on world domination.

Pokemaniacs: Leave...just get the hell out...

All Babies/infants/toddlers/children: Consider dabbing yourselves in barbeque or honey, just a suggestion.

African-Americans: I am deeply dissapointed with the fact that you disregard informing me that your small child isn't made of chocolate come feeding time.

Men: Realize we're asshol*s.*important

Women: Realize you're bitc*es.*also important

Women with breast implants: Your disgruntled looks you give off when a male notices your chest doesn't paralyze us men with fear, rather it reminds us to forget our sanity, and reach for the closes metal object in which to introduce it with love several times to your precious face in a striking manner.

SelphieT: Stop being so pretty, my eyes shall soon explode. Surprisingly, pain will be replaced with a sheer pleasurable feeling of relentless ecstasy.

Christians: No offense, but putting the word "christian" into anything ever concieved automatically makes it bad.
i.e. christian mosh pit...no thank you...

Mexicans: Stop making me fat.

Caucasians: Stop making me anorexic.

Paris Hilton: Hurry up and explode already.

Bloigen: Hurry up and devour a penguin.

Asians: Continue doing a good job of letting everyone know that not all Asians do indeed know karate.

Middle-Schoolers: Continue doing your DragonBall Z "Fake Fighting" beneath the bleachers, it's literally one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed.

Alternative music listeners: Stop being sarcastic, I can't tell if you're being serious anymore.

Interweb Junkies: See above.

Cyber-sexxers: Anally impale yourselves immediately.

LanceWindu: Consider changing your name to Lancewendy. It will make my typos very happy.

Necromancers: Consider resurrecting your already consumed food instead of regurgitating it.

Vegetarians: Let me just say this; I've never met a healthy Vegetarian...

People feeling guilty after squishing an insect: Shut the hell up and kill as many of those freeloading bastards as possible, for every maggot slain, ten thousand will take it's place, they reproduce while they sleep. They literally slumber atop mountains of semen, they get it on more then a french whore working overtime in Atlantic City.

I actually read all that and a lot of it was really funny.

Comic Book ner..um..fans: Take to the streets and bring in a wave of anarchy.

Lesbians: Alert men that you have no intention on even letting them participate.

Cats: Start chasing mice in a comial fashion.

Purgatory: Give us back our world leaders, these carbon based retards aren't cutting it.

Posers: Please don't enlist in the military.

Birds & the Bees: Stop being a sex ed reference. Your all freeloaders.

Vinny Valentine: Cover up doll....whatever the f*ck that means...

Godzilla: Emphasis on "GOD"!!!

Plants: stop smelling like shit.

Interesting.. hmm

Some of them are pretty good.

O.J. Simpson is the best one hysterical

Hmm looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Vegetarians: Let me just say this; I've never met a healthy Vegetarian...

You just did. :P Nice to meet you.

Originally posted by Scythe
Monkeys: Continue making me laugh with your shenanigans of flung poopery.

If I may toot my own horn, this one is my favorite.

Sounds like something Stewie might say, srugspin

I'm a cover up doll?

Does that mean lots of girls buy me cheap then clothe me and take me everywere then eventually throw me out when they get older?

Originally posted by Noa
Hmm looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Vegetarians: Let me just say this; I've never met a healthy Vegetarian...

You just did. :P Nice to meet you.

The hell you sellin'?TM

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
I'm a cover up doll?

Does that mean lots of girls buy me cheap then clothe me and take me everywere then eventually throw me out when they get older?

Honestly Vinny, I don't know, I was telling you to cover up I suppose, I don't know...

Originally posted by Scythe
SelphieT: Stop being so pretty, my eyes shall soon explode. Surprisingly, pain will be replaced with a sheer pleasurable feeling of relentless ecstasy.

Tis true! Stop it!

I like the Paris Hilton one.

The Jack Thompson one has put me in quite a pickle...

Originally posted by Scythe

Alternative music listeners: Stop being sarcastic, I can't tell if you're being serious anymore.
mhm Why don't you go listen to Heavy Metal or something.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
I'm a cover up doll?

Does that mean lots of girls buy me cheap then clothe me and take me everywere then eventually throw me out when they get older? Makes sense to me.

Originally posted by Scythe
...For what they're worth, here are my blasphemous recommendations/considerations regarding a few topics at hand. A few views on purpetual shit shall be seasoned about.

Toilet Paper: Conserve toilet paper by jumping in the shower when you're done.

Birth Control: The best approach to this age old question is simple, consume as many fatty foods as possible. Push your fat sow, er...I mean significant other past the brink of obesity. Because with that many folds of skin, does it even matter if your using the main door?

Gay Sex: It's fine. In public? Sure! You just need a permit. For five cents you may purchase a temporary ten minute permit from me, however, if you wish for a permanent permit, you must cough up $350,000 and also pay for the entire six years of school I will have to endure. Not to mention the extra $120,990 for my campaign to become a senator, and from there on we'll talk. However, be aware I might use the money for the sole purpose of purchasing sweets, half of which I won't even eat, just the fact that I own them and a small child in a third-world country doesn't, will fill me with delight. Glee will be thrown in there if you're lucky!

Gas Prices: Shut the hell up and start getting as cheap as porn. I have grown tired of carrying attractive women on my lap. My wheelchair is meant for one person only and you women adore lying about you weight.

Jack Thompson: Stop saying things and being the epitome of ignorance. Also take a read through my gay sex solution. You and Lieberman will be very happy.

Rats: Start disciplining radioactive mutants.

Turtles: Start crawling in toxic waste.

Ninjas: Start being turtles.

Hamburgler: Get your ass back in prison.

Barney The Dinosaur: Shut the hell up.

Japan: give me free stuff! And shut the hell up.

Anime: Okay, we get it, everyone in Japan has giant saucer eyes. Happy?

Hentai: You are the funniest shit I've ever seen.

O.J. Simpson: Stop giving orange juice a bad name. Don't make me start a petition in favor of changing it's name to Hitler Juice.

Dogs: Learn to pick your own shit up.

Make-up Wearing Tight Clothed Teens: You're not vampires, so make like the damn purple dinosaur and shut the hell up.

Monkeys: Continue making me laugh with your shenanigans of flung poopery.

Fans of the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise: Shut the hell up and realize that pirates were murdering, lewd, vile, thieving rapists bent on world domination.

Pokemaniacs: Leave...just get the hell out...

All Babies/infants/toddlers/children: Consider dabbing yourselves in barbeque or honey, just a suggestion.

African-Americans: I am deeply dissapointed with the fact that you disregard informing me that your small child isn't made of chocolate come feeding time.

Men: Realize we're asshol*s.*important

Women: Realize you're bitc*es.*also important

Women with breast implants: Your disgruntled looks you give off when a male notices your chest doesn't paralyze us men with fear, rather it reminds us to forget our sanity, and reach for the closes metal object in which to introduce it with love several times to your precious face in a striking manner.

SelphieT: Stop being so pretty, my eyes shall soon explode. Surprisingly, pain will be replaced with a sheer pleasurable feeling of relentless ecstasy.

Christians: No offense, but putting the word "christian" into anything ever concieved automatically makes it bad.
i.e. christian mosh pit...no thank you...

Mexicans: Stop making me fat.

Caucasians: Stop making me anorexic.

Paris Hilton: Hurry up and explode already.

Bloigen: Hurry up and devour a penguin.

Asians: Continue doing a good job of letting everyone know that not all Asians do indeed know karate.

Middle-Schoolers: Continue doing your DragonBall Z "Fake Fighting" beneath the bleachers, it's literally one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed.

Alternative music listeners: Stop being sarcastic, I can't tell if you're being serious anymore.

Interweb Junkies: See above.

Cyber-sexxers: Anally impale yourselves immediately.

LanceWindu: Consider changing your name to Lancewendy. It will make my typos very happy.

Necromancers: Consider resurrecting your already consumed food instead of regurgitating it.

Vegetarians: Let me just say this; I've never met a healthy Vegetarian...

People feeling guilty after squishing an insect: Shut the hell up and kill as many of those freeloading bastards as possible, for every maggot slain, ten thousand will take it's place, they reproduce while they sleep. They literally slumber atop mountains of semen, they get it on more then a french whore working overtime in Atlantic City.

I wont read all that!

Originally posted by SelphieT


http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g306/pamelapk77/74.gif

That animation, with it's pink banana legs and arms is teh secks .

Originally posted by LanceWindu
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g306/pamelapk77/74.gif

Originally posted by Commander Foxy
I wont read all that!

Too much to wrap your silly brain around? Or just lazy? Wow, here's a new one...


Lazy people: Realize we're all lazy as well, but at least you can call yourself athletic over the fact that you can reach in for another dipping of cheesy dip.

mmmmmmm salsa con queso

Cheese: Let people know your a dairy product, I honestly overhead a stupid woman telling her daughter cheese was okay to eat, it's not milk...

Originally posted by Scythe
Cheese: Let people know your a dairy product, I honestly overhead a stupid woman telling her daughter cheese was okay to eat, it's not milk...

.........the hell is your problem? Jesus Please-us..........

I don't have an answer for that Selphie...

I could tell anyways.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo doooo deee doooo, I feel like such a sinner at the moment, I liked something I shouldn't have liked! I would so go to church...........but sweet jesus, I'm busy today.

Sinners: Focus on being better politicians.

Licorice: Consider ethnic clensing. I despise black licorice...

Originally posted by SelphieT


Well I would.

Lance....we all know you would...

Originally posted by Scythe
Lance....we all know you would...

I'd tap you too. ermm

This shouldn't be necessary, but yes...I'm joking.

Originally posted by Scythe
Sinners: Focus on being better politicians.

........*middle finger*

Originally posted by LanceWindu
Well I would. winkiss c'mere babeh

Originally posted by LanceWindu
I'd tap you too. ermm

Yeah...it's a good thing you didn't raise my hopes up....uhehehe....

*Bumped for new content soon to be added*

Originally posted by Scythe

Toilet Paper: Conserve toilet paper by jumping in the shower when you're done.


I always do that..

Originally posted by Mywi
I always do that..


sounded so cute

Originally posted by Mywi
I always do that..

Glad to see my words have touched you.

Originally posted by Scythe
...For what they're worth, here are my blasphemous recommendations/considerations regarding a few topics at hand. A few views on purpetual shit shall be seasoned about.

Toilet Paper: Conserve toilet paper by jumping in the shower when you're done.

Birth Control: The best approach to this age old question is simple, consume as many fatty foods as possible. Push your fat sow, er...I mean significant other past the brink of obesity. Because with that many folds of skin, does it even matter if your using the main door?

Gay Sex: It's fine. In public? Sure! You just need a permit. For five cents you may purchase a temporary ten minute permit from me, however, if you wish for a permanent permit, you must cough up $350,000 and also pay for the entire six years of school I will have to endure. Not to mention the extra $120,990 for my campaign to become a senator, and from there on we'll talk. However, be aware I might use the money for the sole purpose of purchasing sweets, half of which I won't even eat, just the fact that I own them and a small child in a third-world country doesn't, will fill me with delight. Glee will be thrown in there if you're lucky!

Gas Prices: Shut the hell up and start getting as cheap as porn. I have grown tired of carrying attractive women on my lap. My wheelchair is meant for one person only and you women adore lying about you weight.

Jack Thompson: Stop saying things and being the epitome of ignorance. Also take a read through my gay sex solution. You and Lieberman will be very happy.

Rats: Start disciplining radioactive mutants.

Turtles: Start crawling in toxic waste.

Ninjas: Start being turtles.

Hamburgler: Get your ass back in prison.

Barney The Dinosaur: Shut the hell up.

Japan: give me free stuff! And shut the hell up.

Anime: Okay, we get it, everyone in Japan has giant saucer eyes. Happy?

Hentai: You are the funniest shit I've ever seen.

O.J. Simpson: Stop giving orange juice a bad name. Don't make me start a petition in favor of changing it's name to Hitler Juice.

Dogs: Learn to pick your own shit up.

Make-up Wearing Tight Clothed Teens: You're not vampires, so make like the damn purple dinosaur and shut the hell up.

Monkeys: Continue making me laugh with your shenanigans of flung poopery.

Fans of the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise: Shut the hell up and realize that pirates were murdering, lewd, vile, thieving rapists bent on world domination.

Pokemaniacs: Leave...just get the hell out...

All Babies/infants/toddlers/children: Consider dabbing yourselves in barbeque or honey, just a suggestion.

African-Americans: I am deeply dissapointed with the fact that you disregard informing me that your small child isn't made of chocolate come feeding time.

Men: Realize we're asshol*s.*important

Women: Realize you're bitc*es.*also important

Women with breast implants: Your disgruntled looks you give off when a male notices your chest doesn't paralyze us men with fear, rather it reminds us to forget our sanity, and reach for the closes metal object in which to introduce it with love several times to your precious face in a striking manner.

SelphieT: Stop being so pretty, my eyes shall soon explode. Surprisingly, pain will be replaced with a sheer pleasurable feeling of relentless ecstasy.

Christians: No offense, but putting the word "christian" into anything ever concieved automatically makes it bad.
i.e. christian mosh pit...no thank you...

Mexicans: Stop making me fat.

Caucasians: Stop making me anorexic.

Paris Hilton: Hurry up and explode already.

Bloigen: Hurry up and devour a penguin.

Asians: Continue doing a good job of letting everyone know that not all Asians do indeed know karate.

Middle-Schoolers: Continue doing your DragonBall Z "Fake Fighting" beneath the bleachers, it's literally one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed.

Alternative music listeners: Stop being sarcastic, I can't tell if you're being serious anymore.

Interweb Junkies: See above.

Cyber-sexxers: Anally impale yourselves immediately.

LanceWindu: Consider changing your name to Lancewendy. It will make my typos very happy.

Necromancers: Consider resurrecting your already consumed food instead of regurgitating it.

Vegetarians: Let me just say this; I've never met a healthy Vegetarian...

People feeling guilty after squishing an insect: Shut the hell up and kill as many of those freeloading bastards as possible, for every maggot slain, ten thousand will take it's place, they reproduce while they sleep. They literally slumber atop mountains of semen, they get it on more then a french whore working overtime in Atlantic City.

you forgot inspectah deck

What about him?