VanillaCocaCola
Why is it people lie? I know the answer, it's fear. And it's a selfish fear, never has anything to do with the person being lied too.
Lie is a broad term, I suppose. There are Malicious lies and there are White lies, opposite sides of the same coin, right? Sadly, they're also just a coin, regardless of which side, they're the the lie.
The reasons for Malicious Lieing are obvious to me, the root of which generally is not fear but rather pure greed. A desire to gain for oneself, whether in physical or metaphysical senses.
But the reasons for white lieing are so difficult for me to understand. Why do people do it? Why do people lie with good intentions... lieing with good intentions never works.
I've heard some people say that it is because they don't want to hurt the feelings of the person being lied too, but this always results in more pain than what would've been caused with simple honesty.
Simple Example:
One girl asks another girl if she looks good in this 'outfit'. Obviously, to the person who had the question prosed to, it isn't, yet she lies and says it is anyway. The girl with the ugly outfit goes out and gets cold-shoudlered or outright ridiculed for wearing the ugly outfit, and is afflicted with an uncertainty of whether her friend lied to her not.
Whereas, if the girl has been honest and said it was a bad outfit, she could've spared her far more pain (A few moments worth) than what she would've caused. She could've even helped her pick out a better outfit, yet she out of fear for the other persons reaction (And by extension a loss of important to her), selfishly lied to avoid hurting her feelings, and toa void getting her own feelings hurt.
This applies to every example I can think of and everything that has ever happened to me that is vaguely similar.
An example, would be in 8th grade when a girl I was friends with blocked me from MSN. SHe lied about it when I asked, yet I caught her in the lie about two weeks later. It hurt far worse (And cost her my friendship) to discover the lie on their own than it would've been had she just admitted it.
A hypothetical example would include an oft-experienced by guys, "Wishy-Washy Woman". The woman says 'yes' to being asked out to be a girlfriend, but becuase she didn't think it through, or just didn't want to hurt her feelings, and deal with the guilt trip, she says yes, and instead reneges later causing far more pain than would've originally happened, and sometimes friendships that pre-existed, whereas a blunt 'No' in the first place is far more likely to be less painful and not destroy a friendship.
Anyways, to concldue my mini-rant, lieing about things only hurts the people you're lieing too, and is extremely selfish, and plain stupid. It can do far more damage when (Not if, they're always uncovered) discovered to a relationship (Relationship is a broad term) then the truth could've, and can utterly ruin some things. It is far more caring and effective and less painful to just tell the truth.
Lie is a broad term, I suppose. There are Malicious lies and there are White lies, opposite sides of the same coin, right? Sadly, they're also just a coin, regardless of which side, they're the the lie.
The reasons for Malicious Lieing are obvious to me, the root of which generally is not fear but rather pure greed. A desire to gain for oneself, whether in physical or metaphysical senses.
But the reasons for white lieing are so difficult for me to understand. Why do people do it? Why do people lie with good intentions... lieing with good intentions never works.
I've heard some people say that it is because they don't want to hurt the feelings of the person being lied too, but this always results in more pain than what would've been caused with simple honesty.
Simple Example:
One girl asks another girl if she looks good in this 'outfit'. Obviously, to the person who had the question prosed to, it isn't, yet she lies and says it is anyway. The girl with the ugly outfit goes out and gets cold-shoudlered or outright ridiculed for wearing the ugly outfit, and is afflicted with an uncertainty of whether her friend lied to her not.
Whereas, if the girl has been honest and said it was a bad outfit, she could've spared her far more pain (A few moments worth) than what she would've caused. She could've even helped her pick out a better outfit, yet she out of fear for the other persons reaction (And by extension a loss of important to her), selfishly lied to avoid hurting her feelings, and toa void getting her own feelings hurt.
This applies to every example I can think of and everything that has ever happened to me that is vaguely similar.
An example, would be in 8th grade when a girl I was friends with blocked me from MSN. SHe lied about it when I asked, yet I caught her in the lie about two weeks later. It hurt far worse (And cost her my friendship) to discover the lie on their own than it would've been had she just admitted it.
A hypothetical example would include an oft-experienced by guys, "Wishy-Washy Woman". The woman says 'yes' to being asked out to be a girlfriend, but becuase she didn't think it through, or just didn't want to hurt her feelings, and deal with the guilt trip, she says yes, and instead reneges later causing far more pain than would've originally happened, and sometimes friendships that pre-existed, whereas a blunt 'No' in the first place is far more likely to be less painful and not destroy a friendship.
Anyways, to concldue my mini-rant, lieing about things only hurts the people you're lieing too, and is extremely selfish, and plain stupid. It can do far more damage when (Not if, they're always uncovered) discovered to a relationship (Relationship is a broad term) then the truth could've, and can utterly ruin some things. It is far more caring and effective and less painful to just tell the truth.
