my song

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.



mith fox
i get hit by a car would u stop to cry or walk on by saying he deservied to die would u shed 1 single tear!! or walk on by yelling he deserved to die!! i dont care about u i just want to know if u would care to to sit by me while i died or would u run away saying this is my lucky day i dont care if i die i just wanted u 2 know that i hate u...... never will i once again stand by your side trying to save you when u ask why ill say becasue i hate you becasue i hate u becasue i hate u! i will never love you! if i died before your eyes would u stop for me and cry or would u be gratefull that i died what would u do if i was dead would u be happy or would u cry becasue i died right in front of ur eyes would u care that i was there right infront of u ill never be here again day by day im gone again one day soon ill be gone i hate you.........i hate u...when u ask me why ill say becasue u let me die thats why i hate you...

plz be honest on what u think rate on scale 1-10 thank you.

mith fox
if* thats the first part of the song

barand1
That is not bad. Pretty deep I must say. Could you type it out again with full stops please. It would make it sound much better and easier for people to understand. If you could do that, that would be great, followed by the other parts of the song.

Thanks.

jaden101
http://www.uktv.co.uk/images/standardItem/L1/536818_L1.jpg

problems?

Bardock42
I expect someone to come in and say something along the lines of "emo" ...then AC and a few others teaching them it's not Emo at all and the person refusing in on the assumption that the term has changed....sounds like good fun for a Friday evening.

StinkFist462
Originally posted by Bardock42
I expect someone to come in and say something along the lines of "emo" ...then AC and a few others teaching them it's not Emo at all and the person refusing in on the assumption that the term has changed....sounds like good fun for a Friday evening.


for realz.



maybe if your song was typed in a way that makes it easier to read i would spend the time to read and give an opinion. but from all the hates, dies and cries it isn't lookin too good.

tabby999
Originally posted by Bardock42
I expect someone to come in and say something along the lines of "emo" ...then AC and a few others teaching them it's not Emo at all and the person refusing in on the assumption that the term has changed....sounds like good fun for a Friday evening.

I think theres just a post template that we cut and paste these days explaining why emo is undefinable and "like pop and punk has changed with time." Saves AC and the lads time wink

Oh and yeah, its is kinda emo huh.

mith fox
so... do u like it or no

tabby999
its a bit simplistic, just repetition. Go through, write the words (dont use 2 instead of to when writing lyrics dude) and add some substance, not just "I hate you" over and over.

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.