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Ask me anything. Go ahead. I dare you. I will answer.

I make no guarantees on the accuracy of the answers.

What's your favourite season?
What's the farthest that pi's ever been defined to?
What temperature's too cold? Too hot?
Why can't penguins fly?
How many hours are in a year?
How much do you love me?

I measured itermm











With my penis naughty

Neither do Iermm

Why do they swab your arm with alcohol when administering a lethal injection?

Originally posted by Impediment
Why do they swab your arm with alcohol when administering a lethal injection? Because hypocrisy is a precious virture in these here United States

The Female Orgasm: Fact or Fiction?

Originally posted by Impediment
The Female Orgasm: Fact or Fiction?

Yes

Originally posted by Impediment
The Female Orgasm: Fact or Fiction?
fact

How do you get a DNA sample out of a dress?

How do you know when a Smurf suffocates?
Why does X stand for a kiss?
Why does O stand for a hug?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

Originally posted by Impediment
The Female Orgasm: Fact or Fiction? The female orgasm rests in a place between fact and fiction that I like to call, the Twilight Zone

If everyone jumped of a chair at once would an elephant fart?

I've got more Strangelove!

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
If work is so terrific how come they have to pay you to do it?
Should crematoriums give discounts for those who died in fires?
Why do they announce power shortages on TV?
Who's cruel idea was it to put a 'S' in 'lisp'?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it homeless or naked?

Originally posted by Strangelove
Ask me anything. Go ahead. I dare you. I will answer.

I make no guarantees on the accuracy of the answers.


Why do people find it ridiculous when other people trip & fall?

Why did I take a brake from KMC?

cause i love you

Originally posted by ThePittman
If everyone jumped of a chair at once would an elephant fart? Only if the elephant wanted everyone to be choked by methane gas while they jumped in the air.

Why do guys have nipples

Originally posted by Mystique Lynx
Why do people find it ridiculous when other people trip & fall? Because it's f**king hilarious

Originally posted by Marth18
what am i saying..... Hellslaughter (Hells laughter or hell slaughter?) You can't exactly tell when you're not hearing it in person, can you? Send me a video of you saying it and then I'll decide.

Originally posted by ~Kongu_Dude~
Why did I take a brake from KMC? Allow me to answer your question with another question...how can you misspell a simple word like break?

Originally posted by Marth18
Why do guys have nipples Because they're sexy

Dont need to send a video, only a recording.....and guys have nipples so they can get sex changes!!!!!!!! And why do people spend countless hours looking for the remote all over the house when they can just get up and press the TV

Originally posted by Marth18
Dont need to send a video, only a recording.....and guys have nipples so they can get sex changes!!!!!!!! And why do people spend countless hours looking for the remote all over the house when they can just get up and press the TV Why do you ask question and then answer them yourself after I answered them? That's questioning the integrity of my judgment if you ask me

And we spend hours looking for the remote because we're all lazy fatasses

Originally posted by Strangelove
Why do you ask question and then answer them yourself after I answered them? That's questioning the integrity of my judgment if you ask me

And we spend hours looking for the remote because we're all lazy fatasses

But if they were lazy, they'd watch the black screen or whatever is on!

And I answered my own question because I already know the answer but I just want to give you something to answer because I love you!

Originally posted by Marth18
And I answered my own question because I already know the answer but I just want to give you something to answer because I love you! Fair enough srug

If everyone is crazy and you are normal, does that make you the crazy one?

Originally posted by ThePittman
If everyone is crazy and you are normal, does that make you the crazy one? I cite dictionary.com for two definitions:

1. mentally deranged; dememted; insane Under this definition, no.
6. unusual; bizarre; singular Under this definition, yes

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Originally posted by Scottie
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? It says "I swear I set the timer for 5 seconds!" then gets up to go and check it, then the pictures takes, making for a hilarious, if cliched, moment

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

Originally posted by Scottie
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? because that would just be too easy

Eleventeen sounds better

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does
that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

but not twelveteen, and teenages would start at 11

Originally posted by Scottie
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does
that mean the fifth one enjoys it? Actually, all 5 enjoy it, they just don't want to admit it

If we breath out CO2 then why does blowing on a fire make it hotter?

why does luggage on ships are called cargo and luggage on cars are called shipments

Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards
is Naive?

Originally posted by ThePittman
If we breath out CO2 then why does blowing on a fire make it hotter? Because the fire is getting angry at you for blowing CO2 on it

Originally posted by Marth18
why does luggage on ships are called cargo and luggage on cars are called shipments Because the world is f**ked up, baby, get used to it *long drag on cigaretteOriginally posted by Scottie
Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards
is Naive? I'm sure some part of them does, but they choose to ignore it. Evian is a status symbol, you know.

After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

Originally posted by Strangelove
Because you're not really sisters, get a DNA test

shocking

Originally posted by Scottie
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in? Bubble wrap

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Q: Are there really alien spaceships parked in the underground of Area 51 or is it just a myth?

Originally posted by Scottie
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? "back to the ol' clay tablet..."Originally posted by Mystique Lynx
Q: Are there really alien spaceships parked in the underground of Area 51 or is it just a myth? No they were here, but they left in 1983, they only came to see the sights. You might have seen them. They all dressed like Richard Nixon

How young can you die of old age?

Originally posted by Scottie
How young can you die of old age? Around 78.3 years of age

Q1: Why do swamp turtles have five fingers on their front feet and only 4 on their back feet?

Q2: Why do swamp turtles only have three claws on their back feet, if they have four fingers there?

Tell me your thoughts on the meaning of life.

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Originally posted by Mystique Lynx
Q1: Why do swamp turtles have five fingers on their front feet and only 4 on their back feet?

Q2: Why do swamp turtles only have three claws on their back feet, if they have four fingers there? What the hell is a swamp turtle? dontgetit

Assuming that it's a turtle from the swamp, I'd have to say (to both questions) that they just like it that way. They long for a time when your back and forelegs didn't have to have the same number of digits. It was a simpler time back then...

why do i feel blahish?

Originally posted by BlackSunshine
Tell me your thoughts on the meaning of life. To quote Monty Python: "Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations."

Originally posted by Scottie
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? They couldn't agree whether they would be stuck together or apart, so they made two compromises and voted. Stuck together and called "apartments" won. Mostly because the word "togetherments" sounded silly

Originally posted by Punkyhermy
why do i feel blahish? You have the Black Plague

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?

Originally posted by Scottie
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? You're telling me

why does the cold make me feel so nice and happy?

Q: How do you call turtles that live in swamps?

I LOVE THE COLD AND GREY UGLY WEATHER

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

Originally posted by Punkyhermy
why does the cold make me feel so nice and happy? Because you are a cold and dreary person who revels in the inequities of life.Originally posted by Mystique Lynx
Q: How do you call turtles that live in swamps? "Turtles who live in a habitat of different moisture status"

Originally posted by Scottie
If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? Because it's ungodly expensive. Originally posted by ThePittman
Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? Because the government created these langauge paradoxes to keep you distracted from the real problems in life, you sheep.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do i love you?

how much wood does a woodchuck if it never chucked a wood?

Originally posted by Scottie
What was the best thing before sliced bread? JesusOriginally posted by Marth18
Why do i love you? I'm handsome, witty, a stallion in bed, and I make a mean grilled cheese sandwichOriginally posted by Inspectah Deck
how much wood does a woodchuck if it never chucked a wood? Everyone's chucked a wood at some point in their lives

why are women only good for making babies and pancakes

Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Originally posted by ThePittman
Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? lookaround

Originally posted by ThePittman
Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? Originally posted by Strangelove
Because the government created these langauge paradoxes to keep you distracted from the real problems in life, you sheep.

Originally posted by Scottie
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? Illiterates actually refuse to purchase Alphabits Cereal because they feel it discriminates against people of "different intelligence"

Why did Larry the cable guy give his dead grandmother a Get well soon card at her funeral

If a building is on fire, and you make more fire, would it be considered making the fire worse or better?

Originally posted by Marth18
Why did Larry the cable guy give his dead grandmother a Get well soon card at her funeral Because Larry the Cable Guy (and everyone on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour) is a moron and only gets laughs because he's crude and makes the deep south feel like they're worth something.Originally posted by Scottie
If a building is on fire, and you make more fire, would it be considered making the fire worse or better? Who are you asking, the building or the fire? Myself, being a huge pyromaniac, would say better droolio

If you run backwards do you still get tired?

Originally posted by ThePittman
If you run backwards do you still get tired? No. And you get younger and a lose muscle definition

Originally posted by Strangelove
No. And you get younger and a lose muscle definition starts to run

Why is XYZ a douche?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Are jumbo shrimp really jumbo?

Why do people think MTV knows everything and is always cool? How did it start?

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Why is XYZ a douche? He's not. You only think he's a douche because he doesn't like you. Next question!

Originally posted by Strangelove
He's not. You only think he's a douche because he doesn't like you. Next question!

No. I don't care if he likes me. He's obnoxious, stupid, and irritating.

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

Originally posted by Marth18
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

Can you cry underwater?

Originally posted by Marth18
Can you cry underwater?

Good question.

what am I doing right now?

Originally posted by Marth18
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? already answeredOriginally posted by ThePittman
Are jumbo shrimp really jumbo? this is yet another language paradox designed to distract. Boy have they pulled the wool over your eyes.Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Why do people think MTV knows everything and is always cool? How did it start? It started in 1981, and it actually was cool for a while. People still think it's cool because they represent the "young people", which really mean white kids who think they're black, and teenage whores

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
No. I don't care if he likes me. He's obnoxious, stupid, and irritating. this is the "Ask Strangelove" thread, not the "Ultraman Whines about XYZ" thread

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Originally posted by Marth18
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for? To sap our extra money and goodwill, dirty hobos shakefistOriginally posted by Marth18
Can you cry underwater? No, because people sniff when they cry, and then you'd snort a bunch of water and die. so to rephrase, not unless you have a death wish.Originally posted by Inspectah Deck
what am I doing right now? you're waiting for me to answer the question. Your wait is over

Originally posted by Marth18
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Because banks are the trees that money gorws on, it's all a lie

I'm heading out, guys, so don't ask too many questions while I'm gone or I'll never catch up

Originally posted by Strangelove
I'm heading out, guys, so don't ask too many questions while I'm gone or I'll never catch up cry

Originally posted by Strangelove
this is the "Ask Strangelove" thread, not the "Ultraman Whines about XYZ" thread

I'm not whining. You answered a question incorrectly, which you are not supposed to do.

Why am I attracted to LARGE boobs?
If i have a postive blood and rob has a negative, what does blobbert get?
Why do painters wear white clothes?
Why are eggs and bunnies associated with easter?
And what's the deal with Swedish fish?

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
I'm not whining. You answered a question incorrectly, which you are not supposed to do. Originally posted by Strangelove
Ask me anything. Go ahead. I dare you. I will answer.

I make no guarantees on the accuracy of the answers.

Why is saturday night live still on the air and its not funny?

ok so what it is 19283790129828956347895693459873984759729879387597
239579073987+2985978349698047674978694869487698746
9872098?

a really big number plus another really big number

Is jello a liquid or a solid?
When did wild poodles roam the earth?
Since blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why am I so cool?

Couz its not hot

If there was a beginning of time, what was there before that?

Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris was in Star Wars, how would it have played out?

Why do we wear clothes!

Originally posted by Marth18
Why is saturday night live still on the air and its not funny? So good shows like 30 Rock and Studio 60 can kick their assOriginally posted by Jack of Blades
ok so what it is 19283790129828956347895693459873984759729879387597
239579073987+2985978349698047674978694869487698746
9872098? The atomic weight of your ass

Where is ''IT''

whats the meaning of strangelove

Originally posted by Terrorist
Where is ''IT'' Behind your refrigerator, next to the grease-stained penny

Since bread is square, then why is most sandwich meat round?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?

Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Do you know the way to Mordor?

Originally posted by Terrorist
whats the meaning of strangelove love that it mighty unusual

Originally posted by Lord Paradise
Do you know the way to Mordor? Through the rock maze of Emyn Muil, past the dead marshes, and up up up the steps of Cirith Ungol, and there you are!

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Originally posted by Strangelove
The Nibblonians I see you watch Futurerama.

Originally posted by Marth18
Since bread is square, then why is most sandwich meat round?who said bread is square? Have you seen bread? It's very odd-shaped

Because they don't know what they were talking about, obviously

You got a real obsession with round/quare things, don't you? So they can put in the dipping sauce, obviously

Because they so don't go with the vest

huh? I don't know what you're getting at

why do we know that the batteries are dead? We only know when the remote's not working, and maybe we just didn't press the button hard enough.

Because like me, he finds facial hair unsightly

Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking? (Meaning they die or they quit HEHEHEHEH)

Originally posted by Marth18
Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking? (Meaning they die or they quit HEHEHEHEH) yes

I love this thread.

Originally posted by Strangelove
Ask me anything. Go ahead. I dare you. I will answer.

I make no guarantees on the accuracy of the answers.


Can I give you a little peck on the cheek? blushing

What is pi to 243 decimal places? hmm

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
Day light savings time- why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Does killing time damage eternity?

Originally posted by Naz
Can I give you a little peck on the cheek? blushing permission granted

Can I Sex your Future wife before you marry her?

Originally posted by Strangelove
permission granted

*smooches*

Can you make strangelove with my hamster

Originally posted by Sanctuary
What is pi to 243 decimal places? hmm I can't find just 243 decimal places, but here's 10,000:

Pi to 10,000 places