My Newest Script- Finding Middle Earth: The Life of John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.



Scarecrow756

Scarecrow756
What do guys think of it????? wink

aniron
is it real? or have you written it?

aniron
im a creative writer so i'm vry critical by the way. your firs mistake is christopher's speech. so much informtion that would never be said in that way. just standing at his grave saying: "i see you have this enscribed because....." it doesn't work. a camera shot from his mother
's grave saying "luthien" over to tolkiens grave saying "beren" would suffice.


plus, why would he tell his father's grave the story of his father's life? rethink this, start from the beginning, with tolkien when he was younger. you can then rotate the character narrative to christopher later. sometimes, convention works! it's a GREAT idea though! you should be proud!

Elessea
I think it would work fine. It makes things much more personal to have christopher saying it, and its his own creative opinion on how he wants the monologue to go. I like the flash back type feel.

aniron
well in that case you do need to revise it. you wouldnt stand at a grave and say "you did this etc" its obvius youre trying to get information across to the audience. you should be more subtle about it. experiment. thats the best way to write!

Scarecrow756
Thank you for your comments Aniron and Elessa they are greatly apprachited. To tell you the truth this by far has been the hardest script that I have ever written and I have written so many more. Infact here are a list of all them now. Ask me if you want me to PM any of them to you.

Aliens Unleashed
Batman Escalation
Batman War Games
Batman/Superman: Ultimate Alliance
Freddy Vs Jason II: Leatherface`s entry (Only a Synopsis)
Game Wars Episode III: The Revenge Of Sony
Metroid: The First Assignment (Only a Syonpsis)
The Indian Musician (Only a Synopsis)

Plus I have turned Batman Escalation into a radio reenactment, here is the link to the site for it.

http://www.geocities.com/george.winstone@btopenworld.com/

aniron
you're quite the little write arent you lol! well done!

Sly­­ering
Eh....I doubt this would go down, or at least not at this time....
And is it just me, or does your baptismal opening seem a little Godfather-esque?

ESB -1138
A movie about Tolkien may actually be pretty good. Tolkien was in WWI so that would add excitement plus his love life and the fact he obeyed his father's wishes to wait before getting married.

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.