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i'm sorry, but I need to lighten the mood around here considering I am always either freaking out or depressed...

So remember when we did that thread about translating the 2nd film? that was hilarious. i miss that.

so i was thinking if ya'll are up for it, we could do a humorous version of POTC3... sticking to the basic story outline (well, as much as we know) but in a humorous way or something. Or just do random funny stuff about POTC 3.

i need to take care of a headache so someone else start~~~

yeah that sounds like a plan...

Can we introduce random characters and work them into the plot? I have a really fun one...

fine with me.

no you may not! kate don't let her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

um, as long as its funny and doesnt offend anyone in the forum, i dont see why not.

but anyways, im waiting for someone to make me laugh..

it'll offend me....maybe? im not enitre sure...but in any case...DIBS ON NORRIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..ok that's squared away

What is your problem, Sailor? You've been quite hostile, so let's have it out.

no one cares about my problems so im not gonna waste kate's time when she just wants som laughter....and as soon as i feel inspired, i'll post here okay kate?

Ok, I'll take Will then. Oh yes, precious, we has plans for him...But I'll have to post in the morning...I will tell you however, that it might involve a corset and blue sparkly eyeshadow....

sweet transvestite from transexual, transelvania!

I suck at these kinds of things..I'll just watch lol.

hey, if you guys get dibs on characters
then i get dibs on jack
since piratediva got johnny in DMC bloopers

heeeeeeeey u beat to it LOL just kiddin. anyways I REALLY like that idea I REALLY liked that translating thing and if anyone starts I'll definitely post somethin as soon as I get what's goin on but I really think Kate should start just so we all know what exactlu we're working with here

Originally posted by sailorleo
it'll offend me....maybe? im not enitre sure...but in any case...DIBS ON NORRIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..ok that's squared away

....I'll let you have him this time...

*my funny version of the reunion with Jack in Davy Jones Locker*

The crew is wandering around in Purgatory, looking for Jack.

Pintel: Marco!

Ragetti: Polo!

Pintel: No you blooming idiot (close up on Orlando, who gives Pintel a dirty look) You aren't suppose to say Polo. Jack is!

Ragetti: I thought Jack was dead.

Pintel: Only mostly dead.

Gore: Cut!!! Wrong movie.

Keira: Can we skip on to MY reunion scene with Jack?

Gore: Just hold your horses Keira. Your oscar will come soon enough.
Go ahead then!

Crew: (various ad libs) Jack Sparrow! Jack! Where are you!?

Meanwhile, Elizabeth wanders off. She sees something in the ground and bends down... it's a trail of spilled rum. She follows the rum trail and runs smack into Jack Sparrow, who is re-braiding his hair.

Liz: Jack! (Keira pulls a remote out of her blouse and signals to a boom box she has hidden behind a rock a few feet away. ROmantic music begins to play.)

Liz: (beginning to tear up) Oh Jack! Thank god I found you. I had to tell you...

Jack: how not sorry you are? (camera does a dramatic, soap opera pan in on Jack's face) Maybe you didn't hear me the first time I called you pirate.

Liz: Oh Jack... I don't deserve the nobel name of pirate (her acting begins to get even more dramatic. Gore looks at the writers and shrugs--- wtf?) what can I do to prove myself to you?

Jack: (Johnny is reading from cue cards in the background, which have just appeared. he looks confused) Well dearie, there is an ancient tradition of pirate initation you can complete, if you are sure you want to be a pirate.

Liz: Anything, tell me! (Keira has subtly undone her pirate shirt, revealing a very scandalous corset underneath. Johnny looks at Gore and shrugs- wtf?)

Jack: (still reading cue cards, clearly getting more confused/annoyed)You have to seduce a Pirate Lord... hold it, hold it. Gore, I dont remember this being in re-writes!!!

Gore: Keira, did you sneak your own re-writes in again?!

Keira: Listen, Im just giving the audience what they want.

Gore: Just pick it up from Will's entrance.

(Keira re-buttons her blouse and pouts. Orlando enters the scene and runs into Elizabeth).

Will: Elizabeth! Jack! She found you!

Jack: If you two don't mind, I was fixing my hair. I can't braid and argue at the same time.

Liz: Will, leave us alone. Jack and I need to talk.

Will: Jack, I know how you two feel about each other. But doesn't THIS mean anything to you!??! (Whips out an elaborate friendship charm bracelet and holds it in front of Jack's face). You promised me we would be best friends forever. Was that all a lie?? (Orlando pulls a remote out of his boot and signals to the boom box HE has hidden under a bush a few feet away. Intense scary music drowns out the romantic music).

Jack: (pulling out the matching friendship charm bracelet he has) Of course this meant something to me!

(Elizabeth pulls out a matching bracelet)

Liz: Will! I thought WE were going to be best friends forever!

Jack: Friends don't let friends kill each other.

Will: Beg your pardon?

Jack: (pulls remote out of his hair, points at boom box that lowers on a rope. Voice says: "Johnny's oscar track 1". Incredibly dramatic, tragic music begins to play. Johnny falls to his knees for the monologue) All I ever wanted in life was true love. I came from a troubled home... and I had to work for a sadistic boss (begins to weep) and then I do everything I can to help you people, and all you do is betray me! I can't take it anymore! (pulls out a large, shakespearian dagger with a crazed look on his face).

Will: Uh, Jack... you're already dead.

Jack: Crap.

that's soo good! jack pulls a remote out of his hair!!!

i wish i could do that, but i'm not that funny.








MORE MORE MORE!!!

*ROTFLAO!*

Awesome I love it. Screw AWE, this is better than the movie itself.

i know! especially the fanfiction! i read 7 chapters yesterday, and i can't wait to read more today!

LMAO!!! HAHAHa...ThIs Is HILARIOUS!!!

I Love JoHnnY!!

someone else's turn.

go to the DMC Bloopers, and you'll see why i don't like to write this sorta stuff.

haha, love it!!!

sorry i can't contribute...i'm not very funny

WOOOOOOOW that was really good ..really really..I might add some later but I'm not so good..I'll give it a go tomorrow though

ok, i know i'm going to sound like a jerk, "well it's been two days tee pirate girl!" but i don't mean that! i just wanted to remind you incase you forgot. 'cause i'm real excited to read more

actually I DID forget tnx for reminding me I'm gonna post in a few minutes hope you read it next time u come here

ok this aint meant to be funny I hope it's a bit intresting though. wouldn't post it but I DID promise and I know you guys won't make a big deal out of it if it's no good. here it goes: (it's my version of the supposed bath scene)

Liz is obviousely very angry she storms out of the a room and heads towards where the baths are though she doesn't know that yet (she is holding a few maps and is in full pirate attire)..but she's SURE she saw jack go that way.

"I MUST inform you captain sparrow that the charts are most definitely-" she stops as she enters the bath which is more like a mini-pool with soapy bubbles floating in it, she brings her hand in front of her eye to prevent her from seeing his private parts.

Liz-JAAACk..what are you doing?!!

Jack-what does'it LOOK like I'm doin then love? I'm takin' a swim after I got covered in beastie goo..ye SAID that I had No sense of hygien so to speak of...only in me nature to prove ye wrong. wanna join me love?

Liz looks disgusted- you're...

Jack grins-A pirate?!

Keira twirls her hair around her finger shifting from one leg to the other giggling. " I was going to say you're INCREDIBLY hadsome but I guess that's true too..."

Gore looks very tired- OOOOH KEIRA not AGAIN! PLEASE! you're SUPPOSED to tell him that you still think he's a good man than storm OUT of the bath..OUT!

Keira sighs- But if you could only give them a proper scene like that curiosity scene..if you would only let ME wrie a scene you'd see...

Johnny stands up and raises a finger as if he wants to say something...everyone cringes and coveres their eyes excpet for the girls ofcourse who stare at him but ..HAHAHA he's much faster for the likes of you..you PERVS! he has a towl rapped around his waist.


Johnny- well I must agree with Knightley...

Keira-Keira TWICE Knightley...

Johnny- pretends to ignore that- well *I* think that if you would just rewrite a few words..maybe add some more catch lines than...

Gore-we've already been through this Johnny we can't..

Johnny looks very noble and heroic- Do you not trust me? Did I not single handedly...ok ok! ALMOST single handedly transform this franchise to the success it is? am I not worthy of ONE little feeble request that is-

Gore cuts him off and rolls his eyes- ok ok ...we'll rewrite the scene....Ted..Terry please think something up....this is JUST cause of Johnny..

Gore points that out cause Keira is looking rather proud of herself.

Gore-Where ARE Ted and Terry?

Keira-seeing as they aren't here..can I write the scene.

Gore-ok ok ok! you write..*whispers* anything to get you of my back.


half an hour later.


Liz is running merrily toward the baths she is wearing a lacy simply dress and is holding the same maps....


the doors burst open and liz skips into the room.
liz- Jack..you handsome dog you..there seems to be something wrong with these charts which is PERFECT cause I needed an excuse to come here and see you bathin...naked! soo..whatcha been up to ya hunk?


Johnny looks grossed out but being the god that he is manages to stay in character. Keira uses the maps to fan herself as opposed to holding them to block the view.


Johnny reads from a script- Hey you suger muffin..wanna skinny dip with good ol' capt'n jack? I assure you doll, the scary vagina like beastie didn't effect my manlyhood at all! wanna put that the test? come here an' start...
Johnny is unable to go any further he coughs madly as he turns slightly pink in the face.

Johnny- Keira!! this is a PG13 picture..I portrated Jack's carachter after Bugs Bunny not after Dirty Ha-

Johnny stops and takes another look at the script and mumbles something like *How you doin' Love?"...

Johnny- OR Joey in "friends" for that matter.

Keira-Fine..Fine! I'll rewrite it..

Gore-ooooooooh no you won't...this sounds like a job FOOOOR

mision impossible soundtrack begins playing.

Johnny-SUPER DEPP!
sountrack changes to super man sound track.

Gore-INDEED!

keira pouts- bet all the KMC girls woul've loved my scene....

Johnny- they'll like mine better..you'll see...


STAY TUNED you want to see johnny write? will liz and jack "do it" in the mini-pool-like bath? and what of the whlep? this and much more in the next episode of....POTC3

awww!!!

lol that was funny!

yay i can't wait!!!!

DUM da da dum SUPER DEPP!!!!!!

lol that would be so awesome if that actually happened i can already picture it.*dreams* *drools*

sorry for my child like manner lol

wow you ACTUALLY liked it? I just posted this cause I promised but I'm glad someone though it was intresting..thanks it means alot to me I'll post the rest tomorrow or later today

That was funny!!! can't wait to hear more!!

sorry i'm late! i don't know how i missed that! thanks!!!

oh THANK GOD you posted something I was begining to forget to write again lol thnx for reminding me I'll post in half an hour or so right after i finish my bio project... and for now I'll try to think like Johnny cause he'll be the one writing the script..lets see....u will definitely hear a lot of "shit"...

no problem! take your time!

Johnny is explaining something to Gore.
Johnny-...do u get my point? I'm just saying being a father is soooo moving I think u should give jack a chance if he has a baby with lizzie he'll see the real meaning of life and...
Gore-for the thousanth time..noooooo!
Johnny-ok..ok can we at least have more gold teeth for him? spice things up?
Gore-Johnny...
Johnny-Oh shit..ok..ok I get it no more tacky gold teeth..point taken. couldn't u at least get Natalie Portman to play Liz's role? at least she's not my daughter's age....(after seeing Gore's glare) FINE!
2 hours later.
Liz is walking towards the bath looking irritated she's wearing more feminie looking and tight fitting pirate garbs.
Liz-Captain sparrow...I think there might be something wrong with....Oh SHEEP shit.
she sees jack in the tub and holds the maps in front of her face looking at jack's face from above them...
Liz-What are u DOING?
Jack-Wazzit look like I'm doing?..actually I'm having a hard time reaching my back...
Liz looks flirty as she says slyly- want some help with that?
Gore coughs off stage.
Liz-oh right..I mean(turns pink and looks at her script) the great captain jack sparrow can't reach his own back?...oh no that's not it either (she searches through her script some more)
Jack-look luv..i'm not gonna deny it..we have quite an age gap between us here..I've known u since you were 17...but we shouldn't deny everyone of such a great pairing cause of such a stupid thing eh?
Gore shouts cut but no one pays attention.
Liz(starts to read her line)-quite right captain sparrow...(looks at her script more closely) *mumbles* shout outs to:johnnyforever,piratediva,ivebeendepped43,ChikiM
ina, tee_pirategirl, Misty and all my fans on KMC.....Johnny what the **** is this?
Johnny looks at keira like she's stupid-what? I'm just giving shout outs to my fans in the movie is that soooo wrong???
Keira rolls her eyes and turns to gore.
Keira-this aint working...
Johnny-obviousely not...maybe we should skip this secene..
Keira-WHAT? nooooo that's not what I meant..two words:shirtless.johnny
Johnny-maybe we should have a scene with jack and Liz which is less talk and more action if you know what I mean...
everyone looks at him surprised except for Keira.
Keira-he means playing scrabble...you PERVS!!!!!

Gore-We'll think of something...I hope Ted and Terry are back soon.
Keira -where are they anyways?
Gore-thinking about the ending and wether it should be JE or WE...
everyone gasps.
Gore-anyways...we should have a dance scene or something..
Keira-I GET TO DANCE WITH JOHNNY DEPP.........WOOOOOOPIIIIIII...HUZZAAAAAAAH I get to dance with JOHNNY!!!!
Johnny looks nervouse-save me!!!!!!! *he whisperes to Gore*
Gore ignores them-yes that's what we need..a good dancing scene should spice things up real good...nothing too cheesy ofcourse and all in character but still...splended idea....
"no" "no" "noooooo!" johnny mouths out to Gore who ignores him.
Gore-I'll go get Ted and Terry.
Johnny-I'm callin my lawyer....*he says as he tries to push away Kiera who was now clinging at his arm and hugging it*

Where is "sadsack" in all of this? Will Liz and jack get a dance they deserve or will Johnny and Keira ruine it for them? have T & T decide on the ending yet? will we SEEEEE Johnny shirtless? that and much more next time...if I don't forget that is...

oh goody!! you made more! lemme read...

that was great!! AND i, and everyone else, got to be in it!! thanks for the update

OMG These are great....I never knew this was going on in this thread....Please write MORE!!!! i enjoyed those....YAY JOHNNY shouted me out....I LOVE HIM!!!!