Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

I wasn't sure where to put this, but I knew if I posted in front of Comic book fans, it may get some attention. I've had this idea for a comic book for quite some time and have trying to get some other people to pay it attention for more than 5 seconds. I'm going to give just a basic synopsis of the origin of the superheroes of this universe...

Aliens left behind a device that would help the human race evolve at such an expotential rate that eventually we would evolve to state of oblivion. However the aliens did not plan on a few immortal beings stumbling upon this device. One was able to change the time parameters on the device, however it was stolen by another immortal. In my particular universe I like to call them Omegas, kind of like Marvel's Externals. Anyway this particular Omega wanted to see what the device actually did, so he activated it. The activation caused several people around the world to be endowed with a superpower directly relating to one of several random things. One individual was about to have his braces removed, and was asleep during the activation. When he awoke, his entire mouth area, up to where his jaw meets his ear, and just below his nose is now made up of a liquid metal alloy. Thus the origin of Metal Mouth is born, however he is just the first of many! Let me know what you think of this and I will be posting more characters soon! Thanks for reading this!

.

sounds like a really bad fan fiction.....

Okay okay so the origin needs some work, but I believe I have some very unique heroes with some unique powers and defects as well. Okay to keep things rolling. The kid is sitting there and the liquid metal is like melting and running down off his face and one of the nurses walk in and the guy's mouth instantly becomes normal, or as normal as it can since its still metal and all. The two have an instant connection and her power is known as simply being able to help others at first. Metal Mouth meets up with quirky guy whose ability seems to be similar to Spiderman's wall crawling ability, but seems to be able cling any part of his body to any surface with out gravity hindering him either. They nickname him Kling for lack of anything else. Another one they meet is a guy eating a huge roast beef sammich and once he's done he begins to grow, and he basically becomes a hulking version of himself, much stronger than before. Then a silent newcomer comes on the scene, his power a mystery until the criminals with powers start showing up! Come on guys its a kind of lighthearted take on superheroes... These first few I'm working on are what I like to call the Hometown Heroes that is their powers are incredible, but not nearly enough to save the world. I'll be getting to those guys later. Try not take this too seriously, besides I realize it still needs work, but what doesn't? Anyway if you have any suggestions for something that needs work let me know, especially the origin, but if there's some unique power that you've never seen used in a comic book let me know! But for now here's the rest of the Hometown Heroes

Zinc (2nd in command) Real Name: Unknown.
Always goes by Zinc, and has the appearance of a 20 year old. This kooky, yet highly intelligent character shows up not very long after Metal Mouth becomes famous or infamous for his power. Zinc realizes that he too has some power, and well its actually a quite few amplified traits, such as a heightened sense of taste, rapid healing and metabolism, amplified intelligence, strength and stamina. He also has impeccably good luck! He never gives a real name, it seems he has always gone by “Zinc”. His powers grow and wane throughout the story. Zinc helps Metal Mouth out, and is all about having a good time, so when someone comes around to mess it up, he is ready and willing to stop those that mess stuff up!

8-Iron Real Name: Hank Santo.
Born in Wisconsin on Feburary, 1979. This a very interesting character, in that he gets his power from eating a lot of meat, whether its beef, chicken, turkey, even pig, whether its cooked or not! When he does eat enough meat he becomes a super strong, super fast, and really big guy! Unfortunately the effect wears off after so long, and then he must replenish his appetite and the source of his power. His power develops further in that he can hold his powerful form longer, and is able to make his extremities nearly invulnerable, like iron.

Burner Real Name: Richard Fluen.
Born and raised in Los Angeles, CA on July 5, 1990. This young man has the ability to make his body temperature rise and even make the area around extremely hot. Although it would seem he would have a fiery personality, he is rather quiet and shy, but pours on the heat when necessary. Burner does not create a flame from his power, only the fact that he can project heat and cause things to basically melt at a molecular level, well he does eventually.

Flare Real Name: Jamie Tolso.
Born and raised in Sacramento, CA on July 3, 1991. This is Burner’s even younger girlfriend, she has the ability make entire body brighten up to 1,000 watts, but it doesn’t provide any heat. But she tells everyone that “her” man provides all the heat she could need, or anyone else could stand. Over time she can create beams of light, still with no heat, create light when there is no light around, and make handy balls of light that float around her or whomever she chooses.

Mammoth Real Name: Unknown.
Born in Washington state, appears to be about 24/25 years old. Goes by Mammoth, rightly so, he is a very large boy, he is only fifteen years old, and is 6 feet, 10 inches tall, and weighs around 300 pounds, and nearly all of it is muscle. His powers are not entirely known, he apparently is able to break through any obstacle without any damage coming to his body. Although he is not super strong, like 8-Iron, he still displays great feats of strength in times of need. He never talks, but is always paying attention; he nods or shakes his head for his responses. He keeps a ballcap pulled down covering his eyes most of the time. Only John knows about his past, and he does not share it with anyone, even Nancy. Also a frequent smoker.



Snale (Official behind the scenes leader) Real Name: Yeah, right, like he would have one!
A gigantic snail that has mental powers that allows him to communicate with our heroes, and uses them against the bad guys. His even huger shell allows the good guys to stay in and stay on the move. Even though he shows up toward the end of the final battle and ends up dying at the end, he plays a very important role. And ends up being a sort of mentor and leader for the good guys who are beginning to break up as the mounting evil of the KrimeLord continues to escalate.

Beckon Real Name: Yawnse.
Born in India, she appears to be about 20/21 years old. Beckon has massive creatures of great size and power under her direct control, however, she never knows if or when she will summon her last creature. Once one has been summoned, and its purpose fulfilled, it can never be summoned again. Most of them are related to the sea or water. However, once all of them have been summoned, power is useless, but it is unknown as to how many there are to summon. She starts off perceived as a bad guy, because the first creature she summons is too powerful for her to control, and it goes on a rampage. Finally she gains control over the weakened beast, and keeps it as her own personal carrier/bodyguard. She keeps to herself mostly, and most of the good guys don’t trust her, except Burner and MM.

Ranimate Real Name: Joe Smith.
Believed to be from Australia, as per his accent. Appears to be about 34/35 years old. Able to make inanimate objects animate. However there are a great deal of complications, such as the thing having to have arms, legs, torso and head. The head can not be heavier than the rest of its body, and it must be made of solid objects. For example, a literal stick figure, that he is able to control. Also he seems to always be very close with his creations, not wanting to interact with real people. He usually has two or three stick men around him, made from matchsticks, which has plenty of as he is a smoker. Or other common objects.

Kling Real Name: Ashlee Porter.
Born and raised in West Virignia on April 24, 1983. Person has the ability to cling any part of his body to any surface, that includes face on the underside of a table, person is extremely limber and agile. This makes his grip ultra adhesive and strong but not near as strong as above’s Zon Teer’s. His grip is more centered on being able to stay on something as opposed to the amount of pressure he can summon. Another part of the power is being able to make his body weight as light or as heavy as he imagines, with some limitations of course.

Transpose Real Name: Sonny Vix.
Born in South America, raised in Miami, FL on May 28, 1978. For lack of a better codename, this guy can literally “trade” or “switch” places with any other humanoid, so long as they are about the same height and weight as he is. Here are some of the rules, Sonny can only trade with someone in his sight range, and none of what he is wearing or holding transposes with him, so he ends up wearing and holding whatever he traded places with.

Slyde Real Name: Silvia Braxton.
That’s right, Black Dragon’s (aka Noir) little sister. Can manipulate any surface she stands on to carry her wherever, it usually tears it up, and the pieces of whatever push Slyde forward. Has a style like surfer or snowboarder. Person wears a specialized suit that has concentrated armor on the feet, where the material she slides on can pass under her feet without causing great harm, like when she first discovered her power.

Yeah..REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL bad fan-fic. I should know i can (admittedly) say i've written a few myself. Stick to drabbles is my aim.

But none the less.

6/10 Of those origins involve MASSIVE cliches.

Originally posted by grey fox
Yeah..REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL bad fan-fic. I should know i can (admittedly) say i've written a few myself. Stick to drabbles is my aim.

But none the less.

6/10 Of those origins involve MASSIVE cliches.

Yeah I realize that, but it's what inside the characters that make them unique, you know their personalities and such. I still like the characters, I guess they've grown on me, having them lingering around for so long. I feel like there's some potential there, I just having a hard time pulling it off you know? In fact here are some more just for the hell of it!

Guardian Archangels
The Guardian Archangels are group of people of similar powers and goals who have banded together much like Metal Mouth and his crew and vowed to uphold justice not matter the circumstances, their powers are also on a high scale, but not reaching that of the Omegas. Whose memebers consistent of an extraordinary variety of people and powers. These are the big dogs of the Universe, they carry lots of power within their ranks, some are raw power, others financial.

Cheribum (leader) Real Name: Utbar Ahmen.
Cheribum's origin: Once it was discovered that his body could heal in such a way, those with the available resources began to experiment on him. They discovered they could actually fuse his muscles and bones with ultra powerful wings, in fact four of them were constructed on to his body as the final experiment. Cheribum rebelled against his creators, using his newfound power of sonic flight, and a nearly unlimited supply of bombastic missile projections. As well as having the edges of the wings toned to a fine razor sharp edge that can slice through just about anything, except Metal Mouth's mouth. Along with the missiles, he also has two laser pistols, which he uses only when he faces a multitude of opponents in a confined area when innocent people could be hurt by his explosive armament. Or if he needs to be stealthy. Cheribum what can be recognized of his face, as the bottom portion was greatly disfigured when he first gained the power of flight and tried to escape, he appears to be a healthy 25 year old.

Jaden Real Name: June De' Angelou
June is an exceptionally skilled martial artists. She has mastered many styles, including Ninjutsu, Judo, Aikido, Iiado, and is very proficient with the Bo staff. Jaden's special power comes into play anytime she bleeds, that's right, when her blood hits the air it crystalizes and becomes the gem Jade. Which eventually could become armor, if she is injured enough times in certain areas. Also most of her weapons are of high stensile strength, alloy metal, tinted to the color jade of course. Born in Chicago, IL, this tough as nails gal has striking beauty, that could be a bit of a distraction for some, as she is a healthy 21 year old and toned to near perfection.

Supernova: Real Name: Unknown.
Supernova's origin is still fuzzy at best, but he seems to be human or at least extremely familiar with human behavior. Supernova has the power to expel several different types of radiation, including x-rays, gamma rays, UV rays, unfortunately, each type he does, it warps his outward appearance. Which already appears be something of an exoskeleton, it could be armor, but that has yet to be determined.

Xayne: (2nd in command): Real Name: Jerry Lupin III.
A multi-billionaire from inheritance from his pappy's business. What business is that? Batteries, batteries that last much longer than any other battery on Earth, and people are willing to pay a high price for them. Jerry sees all the chaos swirling around the emergence of all the superpowered peoples and decides that things need to get settled back down to normal as soon as possible, or else his business may get the bad end of the deal. At first Cache, as he codenames himself, using the largest battery his company makes to make an ultra powered suit with all sorts of gadgets and gizmoes included, at first he sides with the normal people, but then he quickly realizes that the superpowered are victims themselves, so he joins with them. Jerry was born in Manhattan, NY, but was raised in Maine, then moved back to New York to run his daddy's business.

Krono: Real Name: Krono.
Krono has the appearance of a small 10 year old child, with his mask off, but is light years beyond having the intellect and wisdom of a 10 year old child. He is an alien who has traveled the stars and beyond. His staff carries a shard of the Time Stone, an ancient relic from which the literal essence of Time flows. Krono uses his immense knowledge and Krono-staff to stop time, reverse, slow it down, whatever seems to be necessary at the time, however after using it one time, Krono blanks out, apparently using and contorting the energies of time is extremely hazardous to one's health. Krono must "recharge" each time he induces his Krono-staff's energies. However if Nurse is around, he recovers much quicker. Who knows when this creature was born or even if he was actually born, he could have been created for all we know!

I realize there's not much to gather from this quick, and I do mean quick descriptions, but I've fleshed them out a bit more than this. These are the basics.

No thoughts on this from anyone? Seems to be a bit more detailed than before huh? Yeah I'm working on getting this stuff into comic book form, I need an artist to help with some initial sketches of the charcters. Especially Toymaker/Krime Master, he starts off wearing this cat-in-the-hat hat which is all droopy and he's constantly smoking a joint, and you never see his eyes, then later he acquires an Mad Hatter type hat, and is still a drug dealer and such.

Seems better. The characters powers are unique I'll give you that. But their origins seem a little...hokey. Aliens ? Everyone uses aliens !

Originally posted by grey fox
Seems better. The characters powers are unique I'll give you that. But their origins seem a little...hokey. Aliens ? Everyone uses aliens !

I can't disagree with that! I've been racking my brain trying to come up with a reason behind the powers. Some of the more established characters, those that I come up with some 10 years ago, such as the tri-colored Dragons, which I felt were too Power Rangerish... So I gave them different code names and really wanted to define them as very different from one another. Metal Mouth was one I came up with while I was anticipating getting my braces taken off.. So he was a good inspiration to keep striving through the pain of wearing braces and finally got myself a $3,785.62 smile. Toymaker/Krime Master is my version of Joker, yet with more reasoning behind his actions, plus he likes getting high. Okay back on subject so the ones that I've actually drawn and had friends draw them before pretty much gained their abilities through countless training sessions and little magical intervention. But the newer ones are ... well originless ... I can't seem to get a good one going for them other than the aliens I was hoping if the aliens themselves had a good enough back story that it might work... But yeah a bit cliched... Which is what I'm striving to break away from, however with something like this its hard not to replicate something that's done before. Its still a working progress and any suggestions are helpful... Constructive criticism though...

Try to explain why you think its hokey or cliched or sounds like a REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAALLLLLLLLL bad fan fic... Just saying that doesn't really jusitify give me some reasons why you think that way. This is all in good fun and by no means am I trying usurp what comic books have going for them already I'm just trying to fit my own little piece into the pie! mm.. I like pie...

I'd like to draw it. But remember that my style is quite european and alternative. You'll see.

Originally posted by Scarlet_Spidey
I'd like to draw it. But remember that my style is quite european and alternative. You'll see.

AWESOME! I'd love to see some of these guys in actual comic form!! I've sketched a few of them and my friends have done some of the same ones... But most have never been more than words on a computer screen, so I'm pretty excited about seeing them! If you want you can just email them to me [email protected] or [email protected] ... pm me with them on here! I look forward to the sketches!!

I suppose there's too much here to read for the average comic fan?? No way am I going to let this get buried under a mound of other threads. I want to know what other comic fans think, good, bad, indifferent...? Doesn't matter, give me some good feedback, come on, its not gonna kill ya...

Okay... Here's the new origin story.

When the great General of Angels, Lucifer (Bringer of Light) was banished from Heaven for thinking he was greater than God, he left an article of clothing behind. This was transformed into a mechanical type device and was thought buried forever. However, one man has tracked this through the Bible and found where its location could possibly be. Once he locates it he takes to his base of operations and begins doing research on it. He finds that Lucifer had a kind of toga apparel and once he crashed to Earth, the clothing type material was torn off and being placed at a kind of half physical/half spiritual plane of existence, and so it folded itself up and has the appearance of a kind of petrified scarf wrapped into a square, while it spirals in on itself (that make any sense?) . Anyway, the guys feels convicted to spread the news of his discovery and in doing unleashes great powers within populace. He was not aware of the implications of showing the world such a discovery and so goes into hiding, the petrified cloth with him. Metal Mouth and the others figure they must fight the evil ones who are out to spread sinning, violence and malevolence. They are going to fight Lucifer's cloth first and use it to release him unto the Earth. Of course they will never succeed, with God backing up our heroes, as long as they believe in their hearts that God is always there helping them through all their trials and tribulations. Of course they will have their doubts and sadness, as heroes come and fall against the tide of evil that is rising up.

Wont it get to biblical if you go for that origin story? i dunno...
I kinda like the story, (maybe it does need some work but its OK ) i would like to see more girls with cool powers and in a leading role... i think you have more guys than girls and they have cooler powers. if you bring in more girls in a leading role and with cooler powers you would get a wider audience for your comic.
I'm an artist myself (currently working without a computer cry) but if you send me a script of your story I'll see what i can do.

Originally posted by kayakat
Wont it get to biblical if you go for that origin story? i dunno...
I kinda like the story, (maybe it does need some work but its OK ) i would like to see more girls with cool powers and in a leading role... i think you have more guys than girls and they have cooler powers. if you bring in more girls in a leading role and with cooler powers you would get a wider audience for your comic.
I'm an artist myself (currently working without a computer cry) but if you send me a script of your story I'll see what i can do.

Yeah I'm workin on that. And I feel like we need a more Biblical story like this. HOwever it won't be known right from the start what the origin on the artifact is alien, domestic or other... I appreciate the feedback and am working on new script right now!

I'm back!!! Yo, what do current comic fans think of Metal Mouth and the characters? I'm still split on the origin story... Not sure how I want to work it, but I want to know what you guys think of the characters. I'll be posting some sketches that me and my friends did long ago, but I think will give people an idea of what the characters look like.. Bye bye for now!