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Hello There! And welcome to Vinny's automatic voice Help system. To submit a problem you have, hit two on you're keyboard and wait for Vinny to come on the line to Assist you. State the Problem clearly and Vinny will do his best to help!

Vinny has never been this generous before, so call now!

......for only $10.99 per minute, plus $4 per call.

The Phone lines are NOW! Open!

vincent

2.

Originally posted by Barker
2.

Hello Ma'am, Whats your Problem? You're on the line with Vinny!

Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.

I'm so lucky. Oh, there must have been millions calling in! And I was chosen!

Oh my gawd! Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.

Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.
Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.
Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.

Originally posted by Barker
Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.

I'm so lucky. Oh, there must have been millions calling in! And I was chosen!

Oh my gawd! Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.

Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.
Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.
Oh my Gawd? Really? I really got through? Laugh out loud, Oh my Gawd.

Ma'am, You're going to have to stop taking so much prozzak.

Next caller!

No! Wait!

I have a question!

And Laugh out Loud, it's not my fault they don't tell you not to take it with Coffee. Laugh out loud.

Good evening. Mr. Vinny, I just wanted to know, who is the better comedian: Jeff Foxworthy, Larry The Cable Guy, Ron White, or Bill Engvall(sp)?

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Good evening. Mr. Vinny, I just wanted to know, who is the better comedian: Jeff Foxworthy, Larry The Cable Guy, Ron White, or Bill Engvall(sp)?
Dial "2" first.

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Good evening. Mr. Vinny, I just wanted to know, who is the better comedian: Jeff Foxworthy, Larry The Cable Guy, Ron White, or Bill Engvall(sp)?

I didn't here that, No one dialed 2.

713

Originally posted by DanZeke25
713

You have selected the "I'm gay and I have no one to pump" Option. Please Hold.

*Elton john music starts to play*

*hits 1 two times*

ermm

Originally posted by Barker
2.

Originally posted by Itzak
*hits 1 two times*

ermm


You have Selected "Smart Ass" Go Hang yourself.


Originally posted by Thorinn



Hello There! This is Vinny himself! What Can I do for you?

2.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
You have Selected "Smart Ass" Go Hang yourself.





Hello There! This is Vinny himself! What Can I do for you?

*Hangs up instead*

2.

*Dials 2*


I need help! cry




What looks better on me? Blue or Tan? eyes

Originally posted by Leo.M
*Dials 2*


I need help! cry




What looks better on me? Blue or Tan? eyes

Pink

Originally posted by Itzak
*Hangs up instead*

2.


Hello?

Originally posted by Naz
2.

Hello?

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Hello?

Vinny Help Line! Quick! Save me! I'm being attacked by bears! shock

Originally posted by Naz
Vinny Help Line! Quick! Save me! I'm being attacked by bears! shock

Show them your boobs.

Trust me it'll work.


*Hangs up*


*Uses his remote controlled bears to keep chasing Naz till she turns around*

mwahaha

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Show them your boobs.

Trust me it'll work.


*Hangs up*


*Uses his remote controlled bears to keep chasing Naz till she turns around*

mwahaha

firefirefireph

AHHHHHHH!!!

.. Am I still on the line?

Originally posted by Barker
.. Am I still on the line?

Yes.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
You have Selected "Smart Ass" Go Hang yourself.





Hello There! This is Vinny himself! What Can I do for you? I can't find my condoms? cry

Oh.

Wait.. Oops. Please hold.

*Cue Elevator Music*

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
mwahaha

2

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Pink




Hello?



Hello?

Hello? Yes! I need your help... I can't kiss my ass! Would you do it for me? firefirefireph

*dails 2 again*

Itzak touches me at night in inappropriate places. What should I do to make him stop? cry He sneaks into my bed and pulls my boxers down weep

Originally posted by Thorinn
I can't find my condoms? cry

Use a Plastic Bag.

Originally posted by Strangelove
2

Hello

Originally posted by Itzak
Hello? Yes! I need your help... I can't kiss my ass! Would you do it for me? firefirefireph

Bite me

Originally posted by Leo.M
*dails 2 again*

Itzak touches me at night in inappropriate places. What should I do to make him stop? cry He sneaks into my bed and pulls my boxers down weep

Put a Skunk up his ass.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Use a Plastic Bag.
But I can't make balloon animals with plastic bags.

Originally posted by Thorinn
But I can't make balloon animals with plastic bags.

Yes you can.

I'm not paying $10.99 for this advice. mhm

Originally posted by Thorinn
I'm not paying $10.99 for this advice. mhm

You Already did.

disgust




*Dials 4*

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
HelloHello Vinny, love your show. I'm a recent illegal immigrant from Nicaragua, and I was wondering what is the best job to steal from Americans. I mean, sure a lot of my people work as janitors and sharecroppers, but I was wondering if there was a way that I could become an astrophysicist and really stick it to those cabron Americans. Do you think I can?

Originally posted by Thorinn
disgust




*Dials 4*

Hello, This is the "I've had sex with a monkey and I don't knpow if its going to try and attach to me for t he rest of my life" Line.

2

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Hello, This is the "I've had sex with a monkey and I don't knpow if its going to try and attach to me for t he rest of my life" Line. Is it still extension 2299 if it's a gorilla and not a monkey?

Originally posted by JaehSkywalker
2

Hello?

Originally posted by Thorinn
Is it still extension 2299 if it's a gorilla and not a monkey?

Yes.

I'm bored. got anything interesting for me to do?

Originally posted by Strangelove
Hello Vinny, love your show. I'm a recent illegal immigrant from Nicaragua, and I was wondering what is the best job to steal from Americans. I mean, sure a lot of my people work as janitors and sharecroppers, but I was wondering if there was a way that I could become an astrophysicist and really stick it to those cabron Americans. Do you think I can?

Guns, Lots of Guns.

Originally posted by JaehSkywalker
I'm bored. got anything interesting for me to do?

Make love.

interesting enough. thanks! you're a big help! *hangs up*

*Dials 2*


I lost the Blue Vs Red link... should you give it to me again? pray

Originally posted by Leo.M
*Dials 2*


I lost the Blue Vs Red link... should you give it to me again? pray

Red Vs Blue Numbnuts.


Go to Google and Write in Red Vs Blue.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Red Vs Blue Numbnuts.


Go to Google and Write in Red Vs Blue.

I love you droolio

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
I didn't here that, No one dialed 2.

Fine. 2.

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Good evening. Mr. Vinny, I just wanted to know, who is the better comedian: Jeff Foxworthy, Larry The Cable Guy, Ron White, or Bill Engvall(sp)?

2

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan


Ron White


Originally posted by Naz
2

Hello

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine

Hello

Help me Vinny Hotline! I'm freezing cold and I don't have a blanket. cry

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Good evening. Mr. Vinny, I just wanted to know, who is the better comedian: Jeff Foxworthy, Larry The Cable Guy, Ron White, or Bill Engvall(sp)? None, they all suck. Blue Collar Comedy is only funny to morons and rednecks

Originally posted by Strangelove
None, they all suck. Blue Collar Comedy is only funny to morons and rednecks

cry

Originally posted by Naz
Help me Vinny Hotline! I'm freezing cold and I don't have a blanket. cry

I can cover you. Hold on.

The line is offline for the next while.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
I can cover you. Hold on.

I'm warm already

Originally posted by Naz
I'm warm already

I'm fast aren't I.

Originally posted by Naz
cry You're allowed to chuckle. petpet

Originally posted by Strangelove
None, they all suck. Blue Collar Comedy is only funny to morons and rednecks

jawdrop
Nuh uh! They are clever individuals that create a whole new meaning out of simple redneck things, making it suitable to anyone. The show I understand. But the comedians themselves? Think again. Besides, I wasn't asking you in the first place.

2
Mr. Vinny, which soda is better: Vault or Mountain Dew?

*points at Ultrman Baltan* You! Out!

*points to myself*
Me! No!

Originally posted by Naz
*points at Ultrman Baltan* You! Out!

*curls up next to vinny* make him leave

Originally posted by Naz
*curls up next to vinny* make him leave

*cuddles with Naz*

Ultrabolta Boy or whatever they hell you're called, leave before I have Strangelove dissect you.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine


Why exactly? All I did was contribute to the forum. Sorry for following the rules, you jerk.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
*cuddles with Naz*

Ultrabolta Boy or whatever they hell you're called, leave before I have Strangelove dissect you.

***

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Why exactly?

I'll get you with my scalpel

Oh please. You couldn't hit an eight foot tall block that was one inch away from you.

cry

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Oh please. You couldn't hit an eight foot tall block that was one inch away from you.

You want to Die little man

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
You want to Die little man

When I do, it certainly won't be by you.

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
When I do, it certainly won't be by you.

No, It'll be by my dog, when I feed your still alive corpse to it

And Naz: You brought it upon yourself. Shame on you for randomly being mean.

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
And Naz: You brought it upon yourself. Shame on you for randomly being mean.

Shes not mean, shes incredibly sexy. There's a difference.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
No, It'll be by my dog, when I feed your still alive corpse to it

I'm pretty sure poodles aren't that effective.

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
I'm pretty sure poodles aren't that effective.

I think you're mixxing up your dog with mine again.

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Shes not mean, shes incredibly sexy. There's a difference.

And we are over the internet. Right. ermm

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
I think you're mixxing up your dog with mine again.

Yeah......... Sure. Whatever you say, poodle breeder. lookaround

herbsad

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
herbsad

Mmmm! Your tears are so yummy!

Keep the fight going! This is fun!

hmm

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Besides, I wasn't asking you in the first place.Funny, you have no problem answering the questions in my thread

Hypocrite

hmm

Originally posted by Strangelove
Funny, you have no problem answer the questions in my thread

Hypocrite

No, not hypocrite. I addressed you to realization of that I was talking to Vinny. Do the same to me, and I will realize to stop. Pretty easy concept.

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
No, not hypocrite. I addressed you to realization of that I was talking to Vinny. Do the same to me, and I will realize to stop. Pretty easy concept. I did once. Then you answered another question

Hypocrite

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine

Originally posted by Strangelove
I did once. Then you answered another question

Hypocrite

No, you did not.

Originally posted by Strangelove
I did once. Then you answered another question

Hypocrite

You're pwning Ultra.

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
No, you did not. Yes, I did.

I'm pretty sure I did twice

Originally posted by Strangelove
Note to all:
This is the 'Ask Strangelove' thread. Please refrain from answering questions before I've had a chance to look at them. I don't care once I've answered Originally posted by Strangelove
DO NOT ANSWER THE QUESTIONS. I invented this thread because I like answering questions. Don't take my joy away weep Originally posted by BlackSunshine
What's the point of marraige? Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
To bind together two people under the name of God who truly feel in love.

Hypocrite

1 ermm

ie'gergE'GNegknregne'GNEn'krn Thank you for dailing 1.

3 ninja2

Please dial something logical.

514-991-6166

911

Blarg.

All Calls are on hold while I look for a bunch of my threads hmm