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Yo people,

Anyone got anything to say about the meaning of life or just anything about life, please post here. But in poetry.

I'll start off...
...My favourite kinda poetry! Dull!
Actually this one ain't that dull but what the hell...

A moment can last for a second
Or it can stretch for an eternity.
A moment can be a minute.
Or it can exist for a lifetime.
A moment can rekindle old memories
Or it can awaken new feelings.
A moment can find what time has lost
Or it can give a glimpse of what is to come.
We all know every moment is precious.
We all know every moment counts.
Cherish each moment
It won’t come again.
Our lives are for the making.
Our moments are ours for living.

Okay here goes my attempt. This is what I wrote off the top . It needs tweeking and refinement but I wanted to get this out so I would be commited to the challenge.

here goes.

Thoughts born one day
Give form to consciousness
Sifting through sensory perception
With neuron connections .

Transmitted messages accumulate through the years
And self awareness extends beyond the immediacy of the present
Such is the backflip we make into the societal pool.

We swim to the deep end to find ourselves
Only to find how alone we really are.
In frustration we flounder in the water looking for something to grasp on.

Once we realize our frantic actions are all that we battle against, serene acceptance of our position leads to the ability to stay afloat.

To learn to live
To give our own story on life
Our own color
Our own breath
Our own transcended peace

Born out of peace with ourselves
Life has no meaning.

Life happens and pushes you out
Just push back if you want to know what its all about

Impressive, very impressive.

I got another one, which I wrote during one of my mood swings, feedback would be nice.

Loneliness
Dark, morbid thoughts course through my mind.
I don’t know what it is that I’m trying to find.
Perhaps something that isn’t really there?
Or maybe it’s something that once used to be there,
But now there’s a big void where it should have been.
Maybe it’s hope that I’m looking for.
I feel so worthless, so out of place
Amongst all these people who are so self-absorbed.
Never have I felt so lonely,
Never have I felt so empty.
My heart is crying for mercy,
My soul is screaming for freedom.
I want to be free,
I want to walk away into the blissful peace of death,
Where darkness couldn’t tear at my every breath,
Where life would seem so perfect.
But who knows when that will be?
Loneliness is imprinted throughout my whole existence,
An existence far from perfect.
There is rumoured to be a paradise,
An individual’s private Utopia,
To make theirs as they will
If there is such a place,
Then when will I get to see mine?

This poem is actually based on some true feeling that I harbour inside of me and I'd really appreciate some feedback and constructive critisicm, thanks.

FOUR SEATS AWAY
I can’t help but block out the teacher’s voice,
Cuz my attention is on my heart’s choice.
How you sit so tall within this small classroom.
Making my heart race with a boom boom.
It’s such a shame what you won’t talk to me.
Cuz I’d really like to know you, you see.
I think about you everyday.
The boy who sits four seats away.

You don’t pay me any attention,
But I might end up getting detention,
Cuz I can’t focus on anything when you’re around.
Speaking to my heart as if with surround sound.
You dark hair mesmerises me,
The way it flows so free.
I’m reminded of the ocean when I look into your eyes,
An enticing blue which welcomes me with charming cries.
I wish I could stay with you all day,
The boy who sits four seats away.

It just trips me up that I can’t be with you.
There are so many reasons why we can’t be true.
Otherwise I’d try to make it work with you,
I’d chase you to the ends of the earth if I had to,
I’d lock you in my heart for all eternity.
But life is so much rougher where there’s modernity.
There’re always obstacles in the way.
No matter how hard I try to set them aside,
There’re certain rules by which I abide.
So love for the boy four seats away
Will be never be lai-d.

I like the second poem. Four Seats away. The begining was very well done and draws me back to a time I can remember in high school. So I give you kudos for that. The middle seems a little forced in some parts and I am not quite sure if the word choices were intentional or accidental. The ending part confused me a little because it made it seems as though you do have some type of relationship going on but I may have read it incorrectly. The cadence and timeing worked really well in you structure. Thanks for sharing this work with us. I will have to get back to you on the first one because I need to read it a few times to make sure I have a better idea of the feelings you are conveying. I mean off the bat it is dark and depressing but I would like to look for something deeper that I am not seeing at first glance.

Thanks, I'll see if I can change it around a bit to see if I can. It's kinda supposed to be a rap so you have to understand that some of the terms that I use in 'Four Seats Away' I wouldn't use when I write normal poems, like 'surround sound', and yeah it was deliberate.
The last stanza's supposed to be the impossibilities of having a relationship with this guy 'can't be true' meaning it just wouldn't be right.
Does that make it a little clearer?

I reread the first poem.
I liked it better the more I read it.
I had to adjust my speed as I read to get a comfortable rhythm out of it.
When I cut up the lines a little differently I found it to flow better for my taste. Here is an example. All the Ors can be used to give pause by taking up one line by themselves and , in my opinion, adding more power to the following line. That is just for me you may like a different tempo. Everyone dances to the beat of their own drum. The other issue I noticed with this poem is that it seems to be the type that stands out better when read aloud. Some poems seems to dance on their own but dance better when given voice. Anyway try these things on you own time and let me know what you think. The Dark poem I am still going to look over some more. I hope this helped.

Thanks! I'll have a look into it. Actually now that I've read it more carefully myself, it sounds more repetitive and stupid, I'll see it I can change that, and the last line totally does not go in rhythm with the rest of the poem, it sounds tedious. I'll have a fiddle about with it and see what I can do!
You know, you can submit some of your own poetry here, anything about the shittiness of life or the meaning of life, anything basically, as long as it's about life!

omg..... u said my poems are good?!?!?!? they are nothing compared to urs..... urs are awesome

I appriciate the flattery but they ain't that good.

By the way people, you can post your own here.

I got another poem here that I wrote about a few days ago:

DARKNESS
Darkness, like a blanket, completely covers me.
Past it I can’t see.
Anger is coursing through my mind.
On everyone’s eyes there’s a blind.
Everything seems red,
Like blood, like signs of danger, promoting dread.
I wish someone would help me,
And allow me to be free.
But no one’s going to come
So I’ll have to suffice on being glum.
Like I always have been.
I should know that even the best of people can be mean,
They get a kick out of bullying you,
And it hurts for them to see what’s true.
And anything I say will be disclaimed,
And I’ll emerge looking shamed.

Glum and dark, as usual, for me anyway!

I went back to 'A Moment' and fiddled around with it a little, here it is:

A MOMENT
A moment can last for a second
But it can also stretch for an eternity.
A moment can be a minute.
Or it can exist for a lifetime.
A moment can rekindle old memories
But it can also awaken new feelings.
A moment can find what time has lost
Or it can give a glimpse of what is to come.
Every moment is precious.
Every moment counts.
Cherish each one
Because it won’t come again.
Lives are for living.
Moments are for making.
Never waste them
Because certain opportunities won't come again.

Better? Worse? OK the way it was?

WOW My poems suck compared 2 urs ur really good keep writin

Thank you but please don't compare, I wouldn't say I'm good but I'm practicing. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, right? Yours have a lot of strengths.

Yea I'm practicing and learnin as I go along as u've seen urs are very deep

Good, keep goin man, those poems are really good and yeah, I suppose they are deep, to me anyway. Most of my poems are just improvised rants.

thx and trust me they r deep and my poems most of the time have 2 be brought on by sumthin that happened that day or that I was talkin bout so

Inspiration can come from anything, mine comes from supressed feelings, I think.

Yea true mine always comes from what happens with the guy I like that day cuz otherwise my poems suck or sumthin that hes done 2 me trust me thats been happenin alot lately

Whoa! Guys are starting to sound more like retarded bitches everyday!
Got another poem:

Suppression
I hold down my longing when I see Him.
I hold down my rage political involvement in everything.
I hold down my sadness when I see the poor.
I hold down my aching when I see orphans.
I hold down all my emotions in the face of humanity’s unjustness.

But one day it’s all going to come out.
I pity the one that shall
Be at receiving end
Of everything that’s bottled inside of me,
All the pain,
All the misery,
All the loneliness.

Too long have I been the victim of my own rage.
My heart cannot endure any further.
I’ll make a vow here and now
To dispose of my anger externally
Rather than direct it at my own heart
And tear holes in such a fragile thing.
I will no longer use my soul as a means
Of committing spiritual suicide,
Or using my heart
As a human piñata
To deflect the blows dealt from mental pain.

Wooow Nice One I can relate 2 that myself

Yeah, I just got so pissed of everything so I wrote a poem about it. That's typical of me!

yup I feel ya there

Thanks.
Judging by the way that I'm feeling right now, I'd say there's lots more where that came from.

yea same 4 me

Hmm, still bored

does no body have any poems of their own to post?

I would post on urs but I have my own place 2 post

i think this thread should be only for you immortality lol, i like reading ur poems, they deserve a place of their own

Why thank you! How kind! I'm been busy lately...well er...doing nothin basically, just takin a break from writin so i haven't written anything new apart from a poem for English Literature class.
I think I'd better explain this a little, we've been going through Carol Ann Duffy's 'The World's Wife' collection and all the poems are a bit feminist, she's basically gotten the names of famous guys in history or mythology and written poems from their wives' points of view and dissed them (well, most of them) so at the end of the collection we had to write our own poems in her style so I chose Mrs Shady, as in Kim Mathers, eminem's wife, here goes:

MRS SHADY
The Thought of a murderous deed crosses my mind.
But contradicting emotions push it aside.
I don’t know what to do.

He pisses me off bad time!
I wanna grab a gun and blow his ****in head off!
Hey Em. EM! Why don’t you love me?
You think I’m ugly don’t you?
Gimme a break!

You sad little bastard
You make me sick.
I wish I’d never met you
You rap freak!
Can’t you just leave my baby and me alone?
She don’t need to see what her daddy is.
Eccentric little shithead!
You ******, you slimy little worm, you insignificant little pest.
I ****in wish you would die mutha****a.
What did the world do to have you in it?
I hope you go to hell *****!
It’s where you belong!

I hope you take an over-dose again
But unlike last time I hope it works!
The music industry needs a break from you
And your shitty music
If you could call that crap music,
I mean personally I think it sounds better when I’m takin a piss.
What you call wicked rhymes
I call tatty crimes
Against music.
It’d be better for all of us if you quit.
Our ears are bursting.
Your head is growing way too big.
You stuck-up mutha****a.

Apologies for any offence I'm caused to anyone, and I LOVE Eminem, do not be fooled!

Oops! A lot of the words I used are censored, sorry.

haha, u had me fooled lol awesome poem. right on

Thank you very much. Got another one, been thinkin about this guy a lot lately and I so I wrote a poem about how I feel (by the way, the same guy inspired 'Four Feet Away')

My Sunshine.
A darkened night
The moon so bright.
All I can think of is you
As I survey this view,
Everything on my mind is about you,
You’re the reason why I’m not being me.

I fell for you
And you broke my heart,
I was prepared to hand you my soul
But you tore it apart.
After everything that you’ve done,
You’re still the ray from the sun
That guides me forward in a painful existence
I’d trust you with my life
But you won’t take your time to hear
Because what I have to say you believe is not for your ear.

Please just listen
I want you to know how I feel about you
If I could make you understand what you mean to me
You’d realise that
When I said I’d follow you to the ends of the earth
It wasn’t a lie.
I’d die for you if anyone would let me try.

You treat me like dirt
But I follow your shadow everywhere
You don’t talk to me
But I listen to every word you say.
I’m nothing to you
But you’re the centre of my universe.
Don’t turn away,
Please don’t go,
My world is shattering because you don’t care.
Just take one look back
And I swear I’ll stay away forever.

It was a bit random, I was just sittin around thinkin about HIM and why I can't...you know...have him, I needed to express myself.

(I need to get me a life, seriously, I sit in front of a computer screen practically all day, how sad am I?)

wow... that made me wanna cry, ive been in that situation before. it hurts so bad.... guys who make ppl feel like that are assholes, but when u feel so strongly about them, its hard to see that. its hard to see alot of things when u feel so strongly about someone. just never let him bring you down, ur kewl, and he should realize that, man, ive been through this wit sierra so many times about this guy she likes. but if you truly feel that way about him, dont give up, but remember whatever happens, happens, and evrything happens for a reason ....... but sides that, kick ass poem ....... ur not sad at all, i do the same lol

Wooow nice poems immortality DAMN u can write

Originally posted by Weeping Fairy
wow... that made me wanna cry, ive been in that situation before. it hurts so bad.... guys who make ppl feel like that are assholes, but when u feel so strongly about them, its hard to see that. its hard to see alot of things when u feel so strongly about someone. just never let him bring you down, ur kewl, and he should realize that, man, ive been through this wit sierra so many times about this guy she likes. but if you truly feel that way about him, dont give up, but remember whatever happens, happens, and evrything happens for a reason ....... but sides that, kick ass poem ....... ur not sad at all, i do the same lol

He doesn't do it on purpose, there's just a very strong...cultural barrier in between that can't be crossed. And thanks, I really appreciate the...the (what's the word I'm lookin for?)...kindness.
Just so you know, I don't usually write poems like this, normally dark and foreboding, I specialise in that kinda thing.

Originally posted by SouthernGirl814
Wooow nice poems immortality DAMN u can write

Thank you! Which is why I hope to be a writer someday!

Originally posted by Immortality
He doesn't do it on purpose, there's just a very strong...cultural barrier in between that can't be crossed. And thanks, I really appreciate the...the (what's the word I'm lookin for?)...kindness.
Just so you know, I don't usually write poems like this, normally dark and foreboding, I specialise in that kinda thing.

Oh, i see, srry, i tend to jump to conclusions sometimes... i need to work on not doing that . Cultural barrier?, srry, nuna my biznezz lol.... anyways your a...... (whats the word im lookin for?)..... oh, yeah... welcome lol . Hehe, i do the same lol, whenever im really pissed off or depressed, i just write poetry

It's ok, I judge people too and it doesn't really matter about the whole cultural thing.
Keep at the peoms though! Your really good, so dya have any ambitions of becomin an official poet any time soon?

Thank you soooo much, but ur poems are sooooo much better. Me an official poet?!?! haha, no, i couldnt be an 'official' poet, i just write when im depressed or really pissed off lol. But when i grow up, i reeeeeeeeeeeeeally wanna become a writer, ive gotta step up my writing a bit tho lol. After i get outta college ima join the peace corp, then travel around the world, and write about the things i see.... so in the long run i just wanna make a differance in the world when i grow up i guess

Wow, nice. I wouldn't mind travelling the world myself, it's my ambition to live in Venice, Italy, I've read soooo much about it and it's always described as city of wonder and beauty, I'd love to go there some day.

Venice, Italy does sound nice. My friend Ryan goes to Italy every summer, cause hes Italian.... he says its the most beautiful place ever.... he takes alot of pictures... my god, its absolutely beautiful.

Oh, man, I'm gettin jealous now, lol.
But I gotta settle down with a proper career before I move anywhere....
Same ole' boring house for now....

Nice poems

What is the purpose of life?
I was thinking.
when I was writing.. when I was playing.
only I will live for moments only



What is the purpose of life?

If the life was end for my ways
If the life was end for my dreams

What is the purpose of life?
yes .. by time .. I remembered that God promised us give us the paradise ..

I smiled
I began think again
when I was writing .. when I was playing
only I will live for moments only


for paradise this is my purpose of life



very nice poetry Immortality


best

silver heart

Thank you! Nice little poem you got there too

awesome poem silver heart....... all the poems here are full of feelings... and tons of feelings makes for a good poem, no?

S'pose.

It's all so confusing,
What exactly is the purpose of life?
Why are we here?
What awaits us in life?
All the religions say it's to worship God,
Some people say it's to find true love
And live happily ever after,
Some people say it's about finding yourself,
And fulfilling your hopes and dreams.
I think the meaning of life will be in death.
Once we enter oblivion
All shall become clear
And we shall see what the purpose
Of this wasteful life is.

That's from the top of my head. Totally rubbish

rubbish?!?!? how on earth can you call that rubbish?!? its totally kick ass

No way! I just wrote down whatever came to my head. Whenever I do that, the worst of my work shines through.

Omg, yes way.... then you must have absolute genius swirlin aound in ur head

No way! I write poetry best when I'm mad, lonely or simply depressed. Other times it's completely rubbish.

Haha.... same here, i think ppl can pretty much tell i was either depressed or really pissed off when i write my poems. but, its really not rubbish, trust me

Ur last 2 poems are really really deep I love em

Which one was the last two? Sorry, I'm a bit confused, I haven't been coming on here in a few days but thanks anyway

Another poem, inspired by the same ******* from the past few poems:

TOO MUCH TO ASK
Every time that I see you,
I feel like opening up my heart,
But you just turn away,
Not even acknowledging my existence,
And just the thought of your ignorance stabs at my very core
Till I feel as if I can breath no more.

Why are you so blind?
Is it too much to ask that you let me see into your heart?
All I want is a glance into your world,
To understand you better
To know how you feel
And to see the world through your eyes
Is it too much to ask?

The thought of you makes me nervous
But I don’t see why I should be
Because I don’t belong with you, right?
I’m just a nobody in a world of opportunities
There are far greater things out there than me.
I’m the human equivalent of the dirt underneath your shoe.
I’m a human being,
I have feeling,
Some of which are stronger than you’ll ever know,
But all the same you pay me no heed.
Like I’m not there,
And I probably never will be…


Rubbish ending, sorry...