Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Have you?

I did once. It hurt, and I couldn't masturbate for a week. Every time I got a boner, the scab peeled, and I bled. It was not fun.

Any of you guys cut yours before?

Yea, right beneath the head. It hurt like a mutha ****a for a good two weeks, and the zipper rubbed against it through my boxers...yea, nothing I'd like to talk about that much

Never.

I'm very delicate when I shave. 31

ALRIGHT THIS ONE IS A LITTLE GROSS AND NOT THAT FUNNY, BUT STILL A STORY.

SO KYLE AND I ARE GOING CAMPING WITH KYLE'S PARENTS. AND I USE THE WORD "CAMPING" LOOSELY, BECAUSE WITH KYLE'S FOLKS THAT SHIT TRANSLATES INTO A CEMENT PARKING LOT WITH RUNNING WATER AND ELECTRICITY AND ALL THE AMENITIES OF HOME. IT'S CAMPING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF THE GREAT OUTDOORS.

SO WE PULL OFF THE HIGHWAY, PAY THE 20 DOLLARS OR WHATEVER TO PARK UNDER THE TARP, AND KYLE'S DAD SETS UP HIS BIG TRAILER AS WELL AS THE LITTLE TRAILER KYLE AND I SLEEP IN. WE LOVE THIS THING. IT'S TINY AND COZY AND HAS TWO BUNKS AND A LITTLE CARD TABLE AND A BUNCH OF SNACKS. EVERYTHING WE NEED.

NOW OF COURSE THERE'S NO PLACE TO SWIM IN THE CONCRETE PARKING LOT SO WHAT THE KIDS ARE FORCED TO DO WHILE LAZY ADULTS WATCH THEIR PORTABLE TV'S AND COMPLAIN ABOUT 'ROUGHING IT' IS SNEAK OUT AT NIGHT, WALK ABOUT A KILOMETER TO THIS OLD LADY'S HOUSE, AND SWIM IN HER POOL.

BECAUSE THIS OLD WOMAN IS SO CLOSE TO THE CAMP SITE, SHE'S GOT AN EXTRA HIGH FENCE TO KEEP OUT THE KIDS. IT'S GOT TO BE ABOUT 12 OR 15 FEET HIGH. SO WHAT THE KIDS WOULD DO IS THROW THEIR TOWELS OVER THE FENCE, CLIMB OVER IT AND JUMP DOWN TO THE OTHER SIDE. IT WAS A BIT OF A FALL BUT AT LEAST YOU COULD SWIM. ALSO I SHOULD MENTION IT WAS ONE OF THOSE GREEN-DIAMOND FENCES THAT ARE BASICALLY WIRE COATED WITH GREEN PLASTIC. AT THE TOP OF THE CROSSBAR THE WIRES ARE CUT SO YOU HAVE ALL THOSE LITTLE POINTY BITS STICKING UP AND THAT'S THE SECOND BIGGEST DANGER OF THE NIGHT. THE BIGGEST DANGER IS, OF COURSE, THE OLD WOMAN WHO OWNS THE HOUSE. RUMOURS ABOUND THROUGHOUT CAMP ABOUT HOW SHE'S JUST THE MEANEST EVILIST CRAZY OLD LADY ALIVE AND SHE'LL SHOOT AT YOU WITH HER B.B. GUN OR PUT SPELLS ON YOU OR MAKE YOU WATCH OPRAH WITH HER OR WHATEVER SCARY STORIES KIDS CAN MAKE UP ABOUT HER.

SO ONE NIGHT KYLE AND SNEAK OUT AND RUN TO THE FENCE. I'D LIKE TO SAY IT WAS A STARRY NIGHT OUT BUT BECAUSE OF ALL THE LIGHT POLLUTION YOU CAN'T TELL. WE GET TO THE FENCE AND THROW OUR TOWELS OVER. I CLIMB UP AND OVER AND JUMP TO THE OTHER SIDE. KYLE FOLLOWS SUIT, ONLY WHEN HE JUMPS DOWN I HEAR THIS TEARING NOISE.

KYLE LANDS ON HIS FEET AND DOESN'T MOVE. HE'S VERY ASHEN-FACED AT THIS POINT AND THERE'S A LARGE TEAR IN HIS BATHING SUIT. A LITTLE RIVULET OF BLOOD IS TRICKLING DOWN HIS LEG.

"JESUS CHRIST KYLE!" I WHISPER FIERCELY. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

KYLE PULLS HIS SWIMMING TRUNKS OPEN A LITTLE BIT AND TAKES A FEARFUL GLANCE DOWN. "DAVE... DAVE..." HE STAMMERS, "I THINK I CUT MY BALLS OPEN!!"

THIS IS NOT WHAT I NEED TO HEAR RIGHT NOW. KYLE STARTS MAKING LITTLE BLUBBING NOISES AND I THINK HE'S CLOSE TO CRYING. I NEED TO KEEP HIM FROM DOING THIS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP THE CRAZY OLD LADY.

"KYLE" I HISS, "CAN YOU CLIMB BACK OVER THE FENCE?"

KYLE ISN'T EVEN LISTENING TO ME. HE'S STARING DOWN HIS SWIM SUIT AND STARTS SAYING "OH GOD DAVE, WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I JUMP IN THE POOL? SHOULD I JUMP IN THE POOL?". HE'S GETTING PROGRESSIVELY LOUDER SO OUT OF DESPERATION I SAY "YES!" IN HOPES THAT HE'LL BE TOO PREOCCUPIED BY SWIMMING TO REMEMBER TO CRY.

KYLE JUMPS INTO A POOL AND IT'S PROBABLY ABOUT A MILLISECOND BEFORE HE HITS THE WATER THAT I REALIZE IT'S PROBABLY VERY HEAVILY CHLORINATED AND IT MIGHT STING A LITTLE BIT. WHICH IT EVIDENTLY DOES. KYLE EMERGES FROM THE WATER SCREAMING LIKE A STUCK PIG. THIS IS ENOUGH FOR ME. I THROW MY TOWEL BACK OVER THE FENCE AND CLIMB BACK OVER TO SAFETY AS AN UPSTAIRS LIGHT IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HOUSE TURNS ON.

ONCE AGAIN I JUST KIND OF LEAVE KYLE FOR DEAD AND QUIETLY CRAWL BACK INTO THE TRAILER AND GO TO BED. LATER THAT NIGHT I'M WOKEN UP BY SCUFFLING NOISES, AND I UNLOCK THE DOOR. KYLE HOBBLES IN AND LIES ON HIS BUNK. I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE HE'S WEARING AN ADULT DIAPER.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED TO YOU?" I ASK IN ASTONISHMENT.

KYLE KIND OF LETS A TIRED SIGH ESCAPE FOR HIM AND LOOKS SADLY INTO THE CORNER OF HIS BUNK: "THAT OLD LADY.. SHE PUT IODINE ON MY SACK. IODINE, DAVE." HE LOOKS UP AT ME AND DESPITE THE POOR LIGHTING I CAN SEE THAT HIS EYES ARE VERY RED AND HE APPEARS TO HAVE AGED CONSIDERABLY. KYLE CONTINUES: "AND THEN, BECAUSE MY BATHING SUIT WAS RIPPED, SHE MADE ME WEAR THIS." KYLE POINTS DUTIFULLY AT THE ADULT DIAPER DRAPED AROUND HIS WAIST. "I HAD TO WAIT HOURS BEFORE I HAD ENOUGH CONFIDENCE TO RUN BACK HERE. THANK GOD I DIDN'T RUN INTO ANYONE I KNOW" HE CONCLUDES WITH A BIT OF A SNIFF.

"WELL AT LEAST YOU'RE BACK HERE AND YOU CAN CHANGE" I BEGIN, BUT KYLE IS ALREADY ASLEEP.

THE NEXT MORNING KYLE'S DAD WAKES US UP AT 6AM FOR SOME SORT OF PANCAKE BREAKFAST, ONLY TO FIND HIS SON PRETTY MUCH NAKED EXCEPT FOR THE DIAPER. SINCE KYLE CAN'T TELL HIS DAD HE WAS IN THE POOL, HE TELLS HIS DAD INSTEAD THAT IT WAS A 'DARE', WHICH IS ALMOST JUST AS BAD IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

?

wtf!... ugh... *shudder*

you poor guys

Originally posted by Barker
ALRIGHT THIS ONE IS A LITTLE GROSS AND NOT THAT FUNNY, BUT STILL A STORY.

SO KYLE AND I ARE GOING CAMPING WITH KYLE'S PARENTS. AND I USE THE WORD "CAMPING" LOOSELY, BECAUSE WITH KYLE'S FOLKS THAT SHIT TRANSLATES INTO A CEMENT PARKING LOT WITH RUNNING WATER AND ELECTRICITY AND ALL THE AMENITIES OF HOME. IT'S CAMPING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF THE GREAT OUTDOORS.

SO WE PULL OFF THE HIGHWAY, PAY THE 20 DOLLARS OR WHATEVER TO PARK UNDER THE TARP, AND KYLE'S DAD SETS UP HIS BIG TRAILER AS WELL AS THE LITTLE TRAILER KYLE AND I SLEEP IN. WE LOVE THIS THING. IT'S TINY AND COZY AND HAS TWO BUNKS AND A LITTLE CARD TABLE AND A BUNCH OF SNACKS. EVERYTHING WE NEED.

NOW OF COURSE THERE'S NO PLACE TO SWIM IN THE CONCRETE PARKING LOT SO WHAT THE KIDS ARE FORCED TO DO WHILE LAZY ADULTS WATCH THEIR PORTABLE TV'S AND COMPLAIN ABOUT 'ROUGHING IT' IS SNEAK OUT AT NIGHT, WALK ABOUT A KILOMETER TO THIS OLD LADY'S HOUSE, AND SWIM IN HER POOL.

BECAUSE THIS OLD WOMAN IS SO CLOSE TO THE CAMP SITE, SHE'S GOT AN EXTRA HIGH FENCE TO KEEP OUT THE KIDS. IT'S GOT TO BE ABOUT 12 OR 15 FEET HIGH. SO WHAT THE KIDS WOULD DO IS THROW THEIR TOWELS OVER THE FENCE, CLIMB OVER IT AND JUMP DOWN TO THE OTHER SIDE. IT WAS A BIT OF A FALL BUT AT LEAST YOU COULD SWIM. ALSO I SHOULD MENTION IT WAS ONE OF THOSE GREEN-DIAMOND FENCES THAT ARE BASICALLY WIRE COATED WITH GREEN PLASTIC. AT THE TOP OF THE CROSSBAR THE WIRES ARE CUT SO YOU HAVE ALL THOSE LITTLE POINTY BITS STICKING UP AND THAT'S THE SECOND BIGGEST DANGER OF THE NIGHT. THE BIGGEST DANGER IS, OF COURSE, THE OLD WOMAN WHO OWNS THE HOUSE. RUMOURS ABOUND THROUGHOUT CAMP ABOUT HOW SHE'S JUST THE MEANEST EVILIST CRAZY OLD LADY ALIVE AND SHE'LL SHOOT AT YOU WITH HER B.B. GUN OR PUT SPELLS ON YOU OR MAKE YOU WATCH OPRAH WITH HER OR WHATEVER SCARY STORIES KIDS CAN MAKE UP ABOUT HER.

SO ONE NIGHT KYLE AND SNEAK OUT AND RUN TO THE FENCE. I'D LIKE TO SAY IT WAS A STARRY NIGHT OUT BUT BECAUSE OF ALL THE LIGHT POLLUTION YOU CAN'T TELL. WE GET TO THE FENCE AND THROW OUR TOWELS OVER. I CLIMB UP AND OVER AND JUMP TO THE OTHER SIDE. KYLE FOLLOWS SUIT, ONLY WHEN HE JUMPS DOWN I HEAR THIS TEARING NOISE.

KYLE LANDS ON HIS FEET AND DOESN'T MOVE. HE'S VERY ASHEN-FACED AT THIS POINT AND THERE'S A LARGE TEAR IN HIS BATHING SUIT. A LITTLE RIVULET OF BLOOD IS TRICKLING DOWN HIS LEG.

"JESUS CHRIST KYLE!" I WHISPER FIERCELY. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

KYLE PULLS HIS SWIMMING TRUNKS OPEN A LITTLE BIT AND TAKES A FEARFUL GLANCE DOWN. "DAVE... DAVE..." HE STAMMERS, "I THINK I CUT MY BALLS OPEN!!"

THIS IS NOT WHAT I NEED TO HEAR RIGHT NOW. KYLE STARTS MAKING LITTLE BLUBBING NOISES AND I THINK HE'S CLOSE TO CRYING. I NEED TO KEEP HIM FROM DOING THIS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP THE CRAZY OLD LADY.

"KYLE" I HISS, "CAN YOU CLIMB BACK OVER THE FENCE?"

KYLE ISN'T EVEN LISTENING TO ME. HE'S STARING DOWN HIS SWIM SUIT AND STARTS SAYING "OH GOD DAVE, WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I JUMP IN THE POOL? SHOULD I JUMP IN THE POOL?". HE'S GETTING PROGRESSIVELY LOUDER SO OUT OF DESPERATION I SAY "YES!" IN HOPES THAT HE'LL BE TOO PREOCCUPIED BY SWIMMING TO REMEMBER TO CRY.

KYLE JUMPS INTO A POOL AND IT'S PROBABLY ABOUT A MILLISECOND BEFORE HE HITS THE WATER THAT I REALIZE IT'S PROBABLY VERY HEAVILY CHLORINATED AND IT MIGHT STING A LITTLE BIT. WHICH IT EVIDENTLY DOES. KYLE EMERGES FROM THE WATER SCREAMING LIKE A STUCK PIG. THIS IS ENOUGH FOR ME. I THROW MY TOWEL BACK OVER THE FENCE AND CLIMB BACK OVER TO SAFETY AS AN UPSTAIRS LIGHT IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HOUSE TURNS ON.

ONCE AGAIN I JUST KIND OF LEAVE KYLE FOR DEAD AND QUIETLY CRAWL BACK INTO THE TRAILER AND GO TO BED. LATER THAT NIGHT I'M WOKEN UP BY SCUFFLING NOISES, AND I UNLOCK THE DOOR. KYLE HOBBLES IN AND LIES ON HIS BUNK. I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE HE'S WEARING AN ADULT DIAPER.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED TO YOU?" I ASK IN ASTONISHMENT.

KYLE KIND OF LETS A TIRED SIGH ESCAPE FOR HIM AND LOOKS SADLY INTO THE CORNER OF HIS BUNK: "THAT OLD LADY.. SHE PUT IODINE ON MY SACK. IODINE, DAVE." HE LOOKS UP AT ME AND DESPITE THE POOR LIGHTING I CAN SEE THAT HIS EYES ARE VERY RED AND HE APPEARS TO HAVE AGED CONSIDERABLY. KYLE CONTINUES: "AND THEN, BECAUSE MY BATHING SUIT WAS RIPPED, SHE MADE ME WEAR THIS." KYLE POINTS DUTIFULLY AT THE ADULT DIAPER DRAPED AROUND HIS WAIST. "I HAD TO WAIT HOURS BEFORE I HAD ENOUGH CONFIDENCE TO RUN BACK HERE. THANK GOD I DIDN'T RUN INTO ANYONE I KNOW" HE CONCLUDES WITH A BIT OF A SNIFF.

"WELL AT LEAST YOU'RE BACK HERE AND YOU CAN CHANGE" I BEGIN, BUT KYLE IS ALREADY ASLEEP.

THE NEXT MORNING KYLE'S DAD WAKES US UP AT 6AM FOR SOME SORT OF PANCAKE BREAKFAST, ONLY TO FIND HIS SON PRETTY MUCH NAKED EXCEPT FOR THE DIAPER. SINCE KYLE CAN'T TELL HIS DAD HE WAS IN THE POOL, HE TELLS HIS DAD INSTEAD THAT IT WAS A 'DARE', WHICH IS ALMOST JUST AS BAD IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

? That's insane.

And in reply to your question in your sig: three.

Originally posted by TheKingofKINGS!
That's insane.

And in reply to your question in your sig: three.
Didn't happen to me. 13

The thread just reminded me of it.

http://board.vivalavinyl.org/?func=topic&id=51880&r=309


Thorinn, you, and I?

Originally posted by Morning_Glory
just dont shave

Why not?

Don't girls think it's sexy when they don't have to deal with hair? hmm

Originally posted by Barker
Didn't happen to me. 13

The thread just reminded me of it.

http://board.vivalavinyl.org/?func=topic&id=51880&r=309


Thorinn, you, and I? Yes, thorin, you, and I.


That's still insane.

No, thankfully, and gross.

Originally posted by TheKingofKINGS!
Yes, thorin, you, and I.


That's still insane.
srug


srug

Originally posted by Morning_Glory
i dont care either way...


and there's already a thread on that subject

Sorry, just a question.

Once. It definitely stings like crazy.

Originally posted by Dusty
Once. It definitely stings like crazy. It does indeed.

I think I got a burn on it once, anyway.

Oh, and my dog almost bit it. Well, he connected, but he didn't get it all.

Ouch ermm

Originally posted by Barker
I think I got a burn on it once, anyway.

Silly Barker, that's not how you make eggs.

Originally posted by Barker
Oh, and my dog almost bit it. Well, he connected, but he didn't get it all.



What, were you like baiting it or something?

A plethora of disturbing images just appeared in my head...

Originally posted by Dusty
Silly Barker, that's not how you make eggs.
Well, it was sort of a friction burn.

13

All this makes me so glad I don't any

Originally posted by Naz
All this makes me so glad I don't any me too

Originally posted by Spearhead
What, were you like baiting it or something?

A plethora of disturbing images just appeared in my head...
Sort of. But not with my dick. I was swinging his toy at him, and he sort of went crazy and jumped up at it. Luckily, I was wearing about 4 layers of clothes since I has just come inside. (It was Winter)

Good thinking.

Originally posted by Barker
Sort of. But not with my dick. I was swinging his toy at him, and he sort of went crazy and jumped up at it. Luckily, I was wearing about 4 layers of clothes since I has just come inside. (It was Winter)

Careful what you swing, I once took a hit to the arm in a sword fight at school. *long story*

Originally posted by Starhawk
Careful what you swing, I once took a hit to the arm in a sword fight at school. *long story* No one cares about arm cuts in this thread. Just genital cuts.

If he had swung lower.....

If's don't count here.

Shaved the crotch area for the first (and last) time ever, cut my sack, cried like a baby. Lots of blood, suprising amounts of blood.

You guys all suck.

Originally posted by ~Da Rev~
Shaved the crotch area for the first (and last) time ever, cut my sack, cried like a baby. Lots of blood, suprising amounts of blood.

Wow, a psychiatrist would love to get a list of names off this thread.

Originally posted by ~Da Rev~
Shaved the crotch area for the first (and last) time ever, cut my sack, cried like a baby. Lots of blood, suprising amounts of blood. Wow. Hta's one of 14 reason why I'm not saving my pubes.Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
You guys all suck. Your sigs kicks ass.

Originally posted by ~Da Rev~
Shaved the crotch area for the first (and last) time ever, cut my sack, cried like a baby. Lots of blood, suprising amounts of blood.

Tell me about it. Razor burn there too hurts for about two days straight.

I tried using the fusion, worked perfectly.

Why shave down there?

Originally posted by Starhawk
Why shave down there? It makes it look bigger.

Originally posted by Starhawk
Why shave down there?

Hair is gross.

Some of us don't need the help.

Originally posted by Barker
ALRIGHT THIS ONE IS A LITTLE GROSS AND NOT THAT FUNNY, BUT STILL A STORY.

SO KYLE AND I ARE GOING CAMPING WITH KYLE'S PARENTS. AND I USE THE WORD "CAMPING" LOOSELY, BECAUSE WITH KYLE'S FOLKS THAT SHIT TRANSLATES INTO A CEMENT PARKING LOT WITH RUNNING WATER AND ELECTRICITY AND ALL THE AMENITIES OF HOME. IT'S CAMPING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF THE GREAT OUTDOORS.

SO WE PULL OFF THE HIGHWAY, PAY THE 20 DOLLARS OR WHATEVER TO PARK UNDER THE TARP, AND KYLE'S DAD SETS UP HIS BIG TRAILER AS WELL AS THE LITTLE TRAILER KYLE AND I SLEEP IN. WE LOVE THIS THING. IT'S TINY AND COZY AND HAS TWO BUNKS AND A LITTLE CARD TABLE AND A BUNCH OF SNACKS. EVERYTHING WE NEED.

NOW OF COURSE THERE'S NO PLACE TO SWIM IN THE CONCRETE PARKING LOT SO WHAT THE KIDS ARE FORCED TO DO WHILE LAZY ADULTS WATCH THEIR PORTABLE TV'S AND COMPLAIN ABOUT 'ROUGHING IT' IS SNEAK OUT AT NIGHT, WALK ABOUT A KILOMETER TO THIS OLD LADY'S HOUSE, AND SWIM IN HER POOL.

BECAUSE THIS OLD WOMAN IS SO CLOSE TO THE CAMP SITE, SHE'S GOT AN EXTRA HIGH FENCE TO KEEP OUT THE KIDS. IT'S GOT TO BE ABOUT 12 OR 15 FEET HIGH. SO WHAT THE KIDS WOULD DO IS THROW THEIR TOWELS OVER THE FENCE, CLIMB OVER IT AND JUMP DOWN TO THE OTHER SIDE. IT WAS A BIT OF A FALL BUT AT LEAST YOU COULD SWIM. ALSO I SHOULD MENTION IT WAS ONE OF THOSE GREEN-DIAMOND FENCES THAT ARE BASICALLY WIRE COATED WITH GREEN PLASTIC. AT THE TOP OF THE CROSSBAR THE WIRES ARE CUT SO YOU HAVE ALL THOSE LITTLE POINTY BITS STICKING UP AND THAT'S THE SECOND BIGGEST DANGER OF THE NIGHT. THE BIGGEST DANGER IS, OF COURSE, THE OLD WOMAN WHO OWNS THE HOUSE. RUMOURS ABOUND THROUGHOUT CAMP ABOUT HOW SHE'S JUST THE MEANEST EVILIST CRAZY OLD LADY ALIVE AND SHE'LL SHOOT AT YOU WITH HER B.B. GUN OR PUT SPELLS ON YOU OR MAKE YOU WATCH OPRAH WITH HER OR WHATEVER SCARY STORIES KIDS CAN MAKE UP ABOUT HER.

SO ONE NIGHT KYLE AND SNEAK OUT AND RUN TO THE FENCE. I'D LIKE TO SAY IT WAS A STARRY NIGHT OUT BUT BECAUSE OF ALL THE LIGHT POLLUTION YOU CAN'T TELL. WE GET TO THE FENCE AND THROW OUR TOWELS OVER. I CLIMB UP AND OVER AND JUMP TO THE OTHER SIDE. KYLE FOLLOWS SUIT, ONLY WHEN HE JUMPS DOWN I HEAR THIS TEARING NOISE.

KYLE LANDS ON HIS FEET AND DOESN'T MOVE. HE'S VERY ASHEN-FACED AT THIS POINT AND THERE'S A LARGE TEAR IN HIS BATHING SUIT. A LITTLE RIVULET OF BLOOD IS TRICKLING DOWN HIS LEG.

"JESUS CHRIST KYLE!" I WHISPER FIERCELY. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

KYLE PULLS HIS SWIMMING TRUNKS OPEN A LITTLE BIT AND TAKES A FEARFUL GLANCE DOWN. "DAVE... DAVE..." HE STAMMERS, "I THINK I CUT MY BALLS OPEN!!"

THIS IS NOT WHAT I NEED TO HEAR RIGHT NOW. KYLE STARTS MAKING LITTLE BLUBBING NOISES AND I THINK HE'S CLOSE TO CRYING. I NEED TO KEEP HIM FROM DOING THIS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP THE CRAZY OLD LADY.

"KYLE" I HISS, "CAN YOU CLIMB BACK OVER THE FENCE?"

KYLE ISN'T EVEN LISTENING TO ME. HE'S STARING DOWN HIS SWIM SUIT AND STARTS SAYING "OH GOD DAVE, WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I JUMP IN THE POOL? SHOULD I JUMP IN THE POOL?". HE'S GETTING PROGRESSIVELY LOUDER SO OUT OF DESPERATION I SAY "YES!" IN HOPES THAT HE'LL BE TOO PREOCCUPIED BY SWIMMING TO REMEMBER TO CRY.

KYLE JUMPS INTO A POOL AND IT'S PROBABLY ABOUT A MILLISECOND BEFORE HE HITS THE WATER THAT I REALIZE IT'S PROBABLY VERY HEAVILY CHLORINATED AND IT MIGHT STING A LITTLE BIT. WHICH IT EVIDENTLY DOES. KYLE EMERGES FROM THE WATER SCREAMING LIKE A STUCK PIG. THIS IS ENOUGH FOR ME. I THROW MY TOWEL BACK OVER THE FENCE AND CLIMB BACK OVER TO SAFETY AS AN UPSTAIRS LIGHT IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HOUSE TURNS ON.

ONCE AGAIN I JUST KIND OF LEAVE KYLE FOR DEAD AND QUIETLY CRAWL BACK INTO THE TRAILER AND GO TO BED. LATER THAT NIGHT I'M WOKEN UP BY SCUFFLING NOISES, AND I UNLOCK THE DOOR. KYLE HOBBLES IN AND LIES ON HIS BUNK. I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE HE'S WEARING AN ADULT DIAPER.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED TO YOU?" I ASK IN ASTONISHMENT.

KYLE KIND OF LETS A TIRED SIGH ESCAPE FOR HIM AND LOOKS SADLY INTO THE CORNER OF HIS BUNK: "THAT OLD LADY.. SHE PUT IODINE ON MY SACK. IODINE, DAVE." HE LOOKS UP AT ME AND DESPITE THE POOR LIGHTING I CAN SEE THAT HIS EYES ARE VERY RED AND HE APPEARS TO HAVE AGED CONSIDERABLY. KYLE CONTINUES: "AND THEN, BECAUSE MY BATHING SUIT WAS RIPPED, SHE MADE ME WEAR THIS." KYLE POINTS DUTIFULLY AT THE ADULT DIAPER DRAPED AROUND HIS WAIST. "I HAD TO WAIT HOURS BEFORE I HAD ENOUGH CONFIDENCE TO RUN BACK HERE. THANK GOD I DIDN'T RUN INTO ANYONE I KNOW" HE CONCLUDES WITH A BIT OF A SNIFF.

"WELL AT LEAST YOU'RE BACK HERE AND YOU CAN CHANGE" I BEGIN, BUT KYLE IS ALREADY ASLEEP.

THE NEXT MORNING KYLE'S DAD WAKES US UP AT 6AM FOR SOME SORT OF PANCAKE BREAKFAST, ONLY TO FIND HIS SON PRETTY MUCH NAKED EXCEPT FOR THE DIAPER. SINCE KYLE CAN'T TELL HIS DAD HE WAS IN THE POOL, HE TELLS HIS DAD INSTEAD THAT IT WAS A 'DARE', WHICH IS ALMOST JUST AS BAD IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

?

Thats a good story. The old lady sounded pretty nice to put iodine his sack and give him one of her spare diapers.

And to answer the thread, I never notice any cuts down there, but a few times some girls have noticed a scab or two while giving it attention, it must have been from schaffing it.

Originally posted by TheKingofKINGS!
It makes it look bigger.

That too.

Originally posted by Starhawk
Some of us don't need the help. You're from Canada. OF course you need help.

Well most women seem to disagree.

Originally posted by TheKingofKINGS!
It makes it look bigger. and also the nice smooth feeling.

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
and also the nice smooth feeling. Yeah, that too.

No, I have not

Got it caught in a zipper once, that was bad enough 13

Everytime I watch Theres Something About Mary now, a tear comes to my eye31

Originally posted by Barker
Because you miss the feeling? 13

Yes31

You're sick. 13

Thanks for the visual, Mist. 13

Aktuly tehres a funi stori well i wuz walkn 2 skool n tehn teh buz cam but i 4gut 2 get my lnch so i wen bak hom n thort 'o tehre iz no buta for my samich lolz' haermm

Originally posted by Barker
ALRIGHT THIS ONE IS A LITTLE GROSS AND NOT THAT FUNNY, BUT STILL A STORY.

SO KYLE AND I ARE GOING CAMPING WITH KYLE'S PARENTS. AND I USE THE WORD "CAMPING" LOOSELY, BECAUSE WITH KYLE'S FOLKS THAT SHIT TRANSLATES INTO A CEMENT PARKING LOT WITH RUNNING WATER AND ELECTRICITY AND ALL THE AMENITIES OF HOME. IT'S CAMPING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF THE GREAT OUTDOORS.

SO WE PULL OFF THE HIGHWAY, PAY THE 20 DOLLARS OR WHATEVER TO PARK UNDER THE TARP, AND KYLE'S DAD SETS UP HIS BIG TRAILER AS WELL AS THE LITTLE TRAILER KYLE AND I SLEEP IN. WE LOVE THIS THING. IT'S TINY AND COZY AND HAS TWO BUNKS AND A LITTLE CARD TABLE AND A BUNCH OF SNACKS. EVERYTHING WE NEED.

NOW OF COURSE THERE'S NO PLACE TO SWIM IN THE CONCRETE PARKING LOT SO WHAT THE KIDS ARE FORCED TO DO WHILE LAZY ADULTS WATCH THEIR PORTABLE TV'S AND COMPLAIN ABOUT 'ROUGHING IT' IS SNEAK OUT AT NIGHT, WALK ABOUT A KILOMETER TO THIS OLD LADY'S HOUSE, AND SWIM IN HER POOL.

BECAUSE THIS OLD WOMAN IS SO CLOSE TO THE CAMP SITE, SHE'S GOT AN EXTRA HIGH FENCE TO KEEP OUT THE KIDS. IT'S GOT TO BE ABOUT 12 OR 15 FEET HIGH. SO WHAT THE KIDS WOULD DO IS THROW THEIR TOWELS OVER THE FENCE, CLIMB OVER IT AND JUMP DOWN TO THE OTHER SIDE. IT WAS A BIT OF A FALL BUT AT LEAST YOU COULD SWIM. ALSO I SHOULD MENTION IT WAS ONE OF THOSE GREEN-DIAMOND FENCES THAT ARE BASICALLY WIRE COATED WITH GREEN PLASTIC. AT THE TOP OF THE CROSSBAR THE WIRES ARE CUT SO YOU HAVE ALL THOSE LITTLE POINTY BITS STICKING UP AND THAT'S THE SECOND BIGGEST DANGER OF THE NIGHT. THE BIGGEST DANGER IS, OF COURSE, THE OLD WOMAN WHO OWNS THE HOUSE. RUMOURS ABOUND THROUGHOUT CAMP ABOUT HOW SHE'S JUST THE MEANEST EVILIST CRAZY OLD LADY ALIVE AND SHE'LL SHOOT AT YOU WITH HER B.B. GUN OR PUT SPELLS ON YOU OR MAKE YOU WATCH OPRAH WITH HER OR WHATEVER SCARY STORIES KIDS CAN MAKE UP ABOUT HER.

SO ONE NIGHT KYLE AND SNEAK OUT AND RUN TO THE FENCE. I'D LIKE TO SAY IT WAS A STARRY NIGHT OUT BUT BECAUSE OF ALL THE LIGHT POLLUTION YOU CAN'T TELL. WE GET TO THE FENCE AND THROW OUR TOWELS OVER. I CLIMB UP AND OVER AND JUMP TO THE OTHER SIDE. KYLE FOLLOWS SUIT, ONLY WHEN HE JUMPS DOWN I HEAR THIS TEARING NOISE.

KYLE LANDS ON HIS FEET AND DOESN'T MOVE. HE'S VERY ASHEN-FACED AT THIS POINT AND THERE'S A LARGE TEAR IN HIS BATHING SUIT. A LITTLE RIVULET OF BLOOD IS TRICKLING DOWN HIS LEG.

"JESUS CHRIST KYLE!" I WHISPER FIERCELY. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

KYLE PULLS HIS SWIMMING TRUNKS OPEN A LITTLE BIT AND TAKES A FEARFUL GLANCE DOWN. "DAVE... DAVE..." HE STAMMERS, "I THINK I CUT MY BALLS OPEN!!"

THIS IS NOT WHAT I NEED TO HEAR RIGHT NOW. KYLE STARTS MAKING LITTLE BLUBBING NOISES AND I THINK HE'S CLOSE TO CRYING. I NEED TO KEEP HIM FROM DOING THIS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP THE CRAZY OLD LADY.

"KYLE" I HISS, "CAN YOU CLIMB BACK OVER THE FENCE?"

KYLE ISN'T EVEN LISTENING TO ME. HE'S STARING DOWN HIS SWIM SUIT AND STARTS SAYING "OH GOD DAVE, WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I JUMP IN THE POOL? SHOULD I JUMP IN THE POOL?". HE'S GETTING PROGRESSIVELY LOUDER SO OUT OF DESPERATION I SAY "YES!" IN HOPES THAT HE'LL BE TOO PREOCCUPIED BY SWIMMING TO REMEMBER TO CRY.

KYLE JUMPS INTO A POOL AND IT'S PROBABLY ABOUT A MILLISECOND BEFORE HE HITS THE WATER THAT I REALIZE IT'S PROBABLY VERY HEAVILY CHLORINATED AND IT MIGHT STING A LITTLE BIT. WHICH IT EVIDENTLY DOES. KYLE EMERGES FROM THE WATER SCREAMING LIKE A STUCK PIG. THIS IS ENOUGH FOR ME. I THROW MY TOWEL BACK OVER THE FENCE AND CLIMB BACK OVER TO SAFETY AS AN UPSTAIRS LIGHT IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HOUSE TURNS ON.

ONCE AGAIN I JUST KIND OF LEAVE KYLE FOR DEAD AND QUIETLY CRAWL BACK INTO THE TRAILER AND GO TO BED. LATER THAT NIGHT I'M WOKEN UP BY SCUFFLING NOISES, AND I UNLOCK THE DOOR. KYLE HOBBLES IN AND LIES ON HIS BUNK. I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE HE'S WEARING AN ADULT DIAPER.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED TO YOU?" I ASK IN ASTONISHMENT.

KYLE KIND OF LETS A TIRED SIGH ESCAPE FOR HIM AND LOOKS SADLY INTO THE CORNER OF HIS BUNK: "THAT OLD LADY.. SHE PUT IODINE ON MY SACK. IODINE, DAVE." HE LOOKS UP AT ME AND DESPITE THE POOR LIGHTING I CAN SEE THAT HIS EYES ARE VERY RED AND HE APPEARS TO HAVE AGED CONSIDERABLY. KYLE CONTINUES: "AND THEN, BECAUSE MY BATHING SUIT WAS RIPPED, SHE MADE ME WEAR THIS." KYLE POINTS DUTIFULLY AT THE ADULT DIAPER DRAPED AROUND HIS WAIST. "I HAD TO WAIT HOURS BEFORE I HAD ENOUGH CONFIDENCE TO RUN BACK HERE. THANK GOD I DIDN'T RUN INTO ANYONE I KNOW" HE CONCLUDES WITH A BIT OF A SNIFF.

"WELL AT LEAST YOU'RE BACK HERE AND YOU CAN CHANGE" I BEGIN, BUT KYLE IS ALREADY ASLEEP.

THE NEXT MORNING KYLE'S DAD WAKES US UP AT 6AM FOR SOME SORT OF PANCAKE BREAKFAST, ONLY TO FIND HIS SON PRETTY MUCH NAKED EXCEPT FOR THE DIAPER. SINCE KYLE CAN'T TELL HIS DAD HE WAS IN THE POOL, HE TELLS HIS DAD INSTEAD THAT IT WAS A 'DARE', WHICH IS ALMOST JUST AS BAD IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

?

http://img167.imageshack.us/img167/233/caffineco2pyzq0.jpg

haermm

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/2658/fbe5.jpg

Originally posted by TheKingofKINGS!
Have you?

I did once. It hurt, and I couldn't masturbate for a week. Every time I got a boner, the scab peeled, and I bled. It was not fun.

Any of you guys cut yours before?

i managed to split someone's foreskin once

Originally posted by Syren
i managed to split someone's foreskin once When we say no teeth, we mean it.

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
When we say no teeth, we mean it.

It wasn't my teeth

.

Originally posted by Syren
It wasn't my teeth No toungue rings or braces either....Originally posted by Naz
. Is that a bad thing?

Originally posted by Spearhead
Tell me about it. Razor burn there too hurts for about two days straight.

mhm Babies. Little lotion'll fix ya right up.

However, a 2 inch deep gash will only sting more.

Originally posted by TheKingofKINGS!
No toungue rings or braces either



It wasn't my mouth.

Originally posted by Syren


It wasn't my mouth. So....wrong....can't...look...away...from...the...dildo!

Originally posted by Syren


It wasn't my mouth. go on....

I guess things were a little tight and it got a little rough and he actually thought it was me bleeding until he got in the bath... neither of us felt any pain, me because it wasn't me and him for whatever reason, until he noticed it. Then it was like Wile E. Coyote and a cliff; realisation hits and then it's all over

Originally posted by Syren


I guess things were a little tight and it got a little rough and he actually thought it was me bleeding until he got in the bath... neither of us felt any pain, me because it wasn't me and him for whatever reason, until he noticed it. Then it was like Wile E. Coyote and a cliff; realisation hits and then it's all over hysterical


But seriosuly, poor guy.

Yes, a moment please, for the poor guy.

He was an idiot anyway

Originally posted by Syren
Yes, a moment please, for the poor guy.

He was an idiot anyway Do you sleep with many idiots?

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
Do you sleep with many idiots?

crylaugh

sorry but i really do not quite get this thread lol

I accidentally cut my geitals last night.


This is involved in teh detailed anecdote I'm planning.

Originally posted by ~King of Pie~
I accidentally cut my geitals last night.


This is involved in teh detailed anecdote I'm planning.
13

Originally posted by Barker
13 Oh yeah..your paper. Completely forgot about that. I was gonna feture it in the sex thread, but your paper trumps that Idea.