Why Do Relationships Fail?

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Smiter
Simple Questions, Post Opinions Here

TRH
Because People are idiots

Dusty
Lack. Of. Communication.

Robtard
Sexual boredom

TRH
yeah that to

Soleran
Communication is a biggy which generally leads to a growing apart.

Marxman
I think its a lie from the beginning. People are afraid that this may be it, "I may not get another person who can stand me" or something. And then through time, shit just starts coming out on a larger scale. Thus, hidden emotions which have been bottled up for so long explode out and relationships end badly.

No I'm not bitter. confused

Soleran
Originally posted by Marxman
Thus, hidden emotions which have been bottled up for so long explode out and relationships end badly.



Relationships that end on a good note don't really end do they, lolsmile

Smiter
Im Bitter Because It ended badly.

Marxman
Originally posted by Soleran
Relationships that end on a good note don't really end do they, lolsmile

Yea I was thinking about relationships that end on a good note while making my post. Then I thought that it wasn't interesting enough.

Soleran
Originally posted by Smiter
Im Bitter Because It ended badly.


Well good for you then, closure is your friend. Now walk away and don't drunk dial them.

Storm
No matter the type of relationship, an essential ingredient is trust. Without trust no relationship can flourish. Another key is communication, or lack of. Couples have to learn to talk and listen to one another effectively.

Fire
to noone's surprise I agree with Storm. Trust and Communications are key. However Love and Compassion are also essential (altho this might seem obvious I know a few 'older' couples where I seriously doubt it still that obvious)

lord xyz
We're not built for relationships?

RichardD
We live longer!

Seriously, look at human mortality rates back in the 19th Century. The average life expectancy was a lot lower than it is now. People generally didn't have relationships that had to last for fifty years.

lord xyz
Originally posted by RichardD
We live longer!

Seriously, look at human mortality rates back in the 19th Century. The average life expectancy was a lot lower than it is now. People generally didn't have relationships that had to last for fifty years. Or even half that amount years.

Bardock42
Originally posted by lord xyz
We're not built for relationships?

Tadadada bingo.

fini
MAINLY, because people are selfish morons

they go into relationships without acknowledging that a relationship is about 2 people, not just their self. SO their actions tend to focus on one person and eventually it will break down.

LOL other times its just that the people are not compatible.

Akira99
I found believe it or not John Gray's Men are From Mars Women Are From Venus to give me pretty good scope why relationships fail.
I highly recommend you read it. Note that it is about relationships that are happening rather than how to start relationships.
I found the most interesting parts to be the 12 types of love and how some types of love are more important for each sex and when all are considered can make relationships SIGNIFICANTLY sturdier and infallible to failure. If I remember correctly:

Women's 6 primary love needs:
1] Caring : Man shows interest in woman's feelings and concern for her well-being
2] Understanding : Man listens with out judgement but with empathy when she expresses her feelings and she feels heard and understood
3] Respect : Man prioritizes her needs, wishes and considers her thoughst and feelings
4] Devotion : Man makes her feel adored and special - more important than his other occupations
5] Validation : Man accepts and confirms validity of her feelings - giving her the right to feel the way she does
6] Reassurace : Man repeatedly shows he cares, understands and respects and validates and is devoted to her she will feel she is continually loved
Men's Primary Love Needs
1] Trust : Woman's attitude is open and receptive. She believes he is doing his best and wants best for her. If shes shows positive faith in her man's abilities he feels trusted and thus VERY loved
2] Acceptance : Woman lovingly recieves man without trying to change him and affirms he is being favourably recieved. Not that she thinks he is perfect but simply that she is not trying to improve him - she trusts him to improve himself
3] Appreciation : Woman acknowledges recieved personal benefit and value from man's efforts and behaviour. man knows his effort is not wasted and is thus encouraged to give more
4] Admiration : Man feels woman's admiration. Woman regards him with wonder, delight and when she is happily amazed by his unique characteristics e.g. humour, strength, integrity etc.
5] Approval : Woman's approving attitude acknowledges the goodness in a man and expresses overall satisfaction with him - trying to recognise the good things and reasons he does rather than bad
6] Encouragement : Woman's encouraging attitude gives hope, courage to a man - expresses confidence in his abilities and character. When women express trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval it encourages a man to be best he can be
If kids were taught in school about these things it would help the sexes really understand each other and quench the thirst to attack the opposite sex. Relationships are about reciprocating imo

I highly recommend the book. Next step is to get partner to read it

Bardock42
I found Penn and Teller's Bullshit episode about true love to give me a better (or funnier) understanding of the problem.

xmarksthespot
The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.

Ya Krunk'd Floo
I agree. We should all shut the f*ck up and dance.

Bardock42
Originally posted by Ya Krunk'd Floo
I agree. We should all shut the f*ck up and dance.
Dancing is a sort of communication.

xmarksthespot
Originally posted by Bardock42
Dancing is a sort of communication. Vertically? Or horizontally?

Bardock42
Originally posted by xmarksthespot
Vertically? Or horizontally?

No matter.

Storm
Originally posted by Fire
to noone's surprise I agree with Storm. Trust and Communications are key. However Love and Compassion are also essential (altho this might seem obvious I know a few 'older' couples where I seriously doubt it still that obvious)
With compassion, you rather mean an inability to show affection toward your partner.

Bardock42
Originally posted by Storm
With compassion, you rather mean an inability to show affection toward your partner.

Lack of actual compassion would be slightly bad a well though.

Bicnarok
Intolerance, incompatibility, failure to see incompatibility and act early instead of forcing the relationship.

soin2cal
I wish relationships didn't. Relationships with everyone though, would never be perfect. Even with your family. When i was with my ex, we barely argued, we were both very easygoing etc, just did not realise why it ended myself. It was weird.

debbiejo
I believe most relationships end because people are out looking on how to get for themselves and not thinking of what they can give. It's mostly selfish and of course a lack of communication. Communication and being open, flexible, nonjudgmental, excepting the person for what they are not trying to change them and respecting them if they want to leave the relationship. If people are open and honest not afraid to express their own feeling then respect and understanding can occur...This is a start to unconditional love which has the other persons best interest at heart along with your own. If both can do this then this would be a special relationship that even if it did end would end on a positive note.

SnakeEyes
Financial problems cause problems between older couples. I don't have much experience in this field, seeing as how I am 16, but I have witnessed it many times in my parents before they got divorced and now in my Dad/Step-Mom's relationship.

Sexual problems often contribute to a relationship failing as well. And I don't mean just somebody being unsatisfied, but anything even relating to sexual things. Such as jealousy of another man or woman that interacts with your boyfriend or girlfriend, or somebody cheating on somebody else.

Which leads me to my next one: Unfaithfulness; which is my least favorite.

And, as it has been said, miscommunication AND lack of communication at all contribute a large deal to a relationship not working out.

Smiter
I just wanna skip the heartbreaks in life, but it sucks that everyone has to go through them.

heru
Relationships fail for various reasons. Financial problems, cheating, lack of communication, clash of personalities, lack of interest, and poor sexual performance. I'm pretty sure there's probably more, but I named the most common situations.

goatstradamus
ideas about how you just know those things about your partner that really piss you off are going to change as soon as (insert bs reason here).

yeah right.


Accepting people for who they are, instead of who you want them to be, is a often neglected, but key part of a good relationship.

soin2cal
I agree. It mainly consists of people not giving and taking, or not being as easygoing as their partner, friend etc. I never usually have this problem as i give and take easily, just arent with the right type of people a lot of the time. How come your swear word appeared theremessed?
I know that me, myself is not perfect, but i do have to say that i barely have arguments with people like me, because i do not cheat, do not do anything that would truly hurt someone.

debbiejo
Originally posted by Smiter
I just wanna skip the heartbreaks in life, but it sucks that everyone has to go through them. You can't, so except the heart breaks, but YOU CAN think of it as this:

When one door closes another one opens as is with everything in life.....don't dread it, but look at as it as another beginning, a new opportunity........

Lord Urizen
Even when two people are compatible, and there is a small chance of conflict between the two, people change.


As we grow, we change. Sometimes we do not grow in the same direction.


Love between two people exists, but it is not immortal. Love dies all the time, same way Hate dies, same way attraction dies, same way everything dies.

I think it is very rare when someone truly loves another, in a selfless manner.


Most relationships are built on the concept of exchange



I love you, you love me back....I make you happy, you make me happy back....I work for you, you work for me....I boost your ego, you boost mine....I'll suck yours, you suck mine.....etc.etc.etc.etc.


When these exchanges of values, actions, whatever the case may be, are not mutually and consistantly met, problems arise.

This tends to be the case with most of us.



I believe True Love, or "undying" love, is when you Love someone without depending on the exchange. When you simply desire that this person be happy, with or without you.

The way you would put a family member before yourself, and love them regardless of whether or not they hurt you.....

If you find someone who puts you before themself, then you are very very fortunate. It's rare to find someone who genuinely desires your happiness above thier own.

Smiter
Originally posted by Lord Urizen

Most relationships are built on the concept of exchange

I love you, you love me back....I make you happy, you make me happy back....I work for you, you work for me....I boost your ego, you boost mine....I'll suck yours, you suck mine.....etc.etc.etc.etc


Skipped all your bullshit and got the the main point.

finti
relation ships fail cause those who are in one cant actually function as a couple pretty simple, and the reason for that wary for the couples/relationships that crash

Punkyhermy
because the either of the two involved subconciously don't want a relationship. erm

Soleran
Originally posted by Lord Urizen

Most relationships are built on the concept of exchange



Is there something Freudian about that?

Deano
relationships are not meant to last forever

debbiejo
Ahhhhhh you hit in on the nail...................People change .and if one can realize that people do change and grow then there is endless posibilites to this.........

Yes people change and grow.......Is that a sin? Yes it is in many relationshiips................stay the same and all is ok........change and grow.....Implecisity that is what we all here to do................

The Wishmaster
Originally posted by Smiter
Simple Questions, Post Opinions Here

Not enough communication. People aren't honest with each other. They don't trust each other. That's why relationships don't work. With every relationship, you need trust and honesty, and a lot of communication. If you have none of that, you're doomed.

Impediment
Human beings are promiscuous by nature.

lord xyz
Relaitionships are to bring people closer; is it necessary to be closer?

Sanctuary
Originally posted by lord xyz
Relaitionships are to bring people closer; is it necessary to be closer?
Sometimes no expression

lord xyz
Originally posted by Sanctuary
Sometimes no expression Hehe.

debbiejo
Another reason that relationships fail is that one or both have no empathy meaning they cannot know what it's like to be in the others shoes. They are oblivious, or don't care........Learning how to listen is important. If one doesn't listen the other might think about leaving to find someone who WILL listen.

soin2cal
Each time relationships fail, it is because one cheated, or was not honest enough.Lots have same relation to "why".

debbiejo
Not necessarily......I've known many people that have cheated and still the relationship worked out....

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Smiter
Skipped all your bullshit and got the the main point.


laughing



I thought the rest of it was insightful, just sharing my experience and knowledge....but if you at least got the gist of it, then that's all that matters. Hope it helped .

lord xyz
Originally posted by soin2cal
Each time relationships fail, it is because one cheated, or was not honest enough.Lots have same relation to "why". Originally posted by debbiejo
Another reason that relationships fail is that one or both have no empathy meaning they cannot know what it's like to be in the others shoes. They are oblivious, or don't care........Learning how to listen is important. If one doesn't listen the other might think about leaving to find someone who WILL listen. Haha, you both make me laugh. Could it be that people expect so much in a relationship, and when one or more of their expectations aren't successful, they feel like the relationship isn't good enough, so they give up on it and seek another. Like Becker said, "No expectations, no disapointment." then agian, that's sounds a bit like abstinence... Teehee.

debbiejo
]Originally posted by lord xyz
Haha, you both make me laugh. Could it be that people expect so much in a relationship, and when one or more of their expectations aren't successful, they feel like the relationship isn't good enough, so they give up on it and seek another. Like Becker said, "No expectations, no disapointment." then agian, that's sounds a bit like abstinence... Teehee.They all want to be heard,and understood.. why do you think there are protesters? Because they want to be heard. It is a basic human need to many.

lord xyz
Originally posted by debbiejo
.They all want to be heard,and understood.. why do you think there are protesters? Because they want to be heard. It is a basic human need to many. huh

debbiejo
This IMO is why the god of the bible is flawed......That god has a NEED to be listened to which is a human need.

ok, back on topic.

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by debbiejo
This IMO is why the god of the bible is flawed......That god has a NEED to be listened to which is a human need.

ok, back on topic.

not really the God of the bible is an overgod

only demigods -> greater dieties need worshipers to maintain their power (see D&D core rule books)

stick out tongue

debbiejo
Speaking of relationships failing I ran across an analogy.

Once there was a little girl who had problems to tie her shoes so she asked her best friend and said "I can't do it all by myself, can you help me?" But her best friend said "NO, I don't see the need for it" So the girl kept trying to tie her shoes cause she knew it needed to be done and it was causing her to stumble. So then she asked again to her best friend..He said "NO I don't see any problem and I am busy with many things." This went on for years until the little girl learned all by herself to tie her own shoes....At that point her best friend came to her one day and said "Whats going on with you? What is going on with your shoes?" And the little girl said "I learned to tie them all by myself, aren't you proud?" But the friend said "NO I liked you better when you didn't know how to tie your shoes" The girl answered and said "What? You didn't think I needed them tied?" And the friend said " I never noticed."

This is also why relationships fail.

crAZRick
relationships fail due to a decided lack or at least lopsided view askew of the pleasures of giving oral pleasure...




... or was I alone the victim of such treachery??

Smiter
Relationship failed because of lack of respect towards 1 another.

debbiejo
Good ,but can you elaborate in more detail.

Adam_PoE
Originally posted by Smiter
Why Do Relationships Fail?

Because people stop trying to make them work.

Nellinator
Originally posted by Adam_PoE
Because people stop trying to make them work.
Yah, committment is a very important.

I think this thread is oversimplifying the complex chain of events that can lead to the failure of a relationship.

FistOfThe North
Cause chicks don't fcukin' listen.

Smiter
1 word-Cheating.

debbiejo
Nope.........it's not being there.....empty space........empty.

Symmetric Chaos
Love is an illusion created by the mind to fill a void that doesn't exist. As time passes the realiztion is made and the relationship falls apart.


"All this so called love is just a temporary confusion of the mind, a mental illness." Haruhi Suzumiya

goatstradamus
Actually, the REAL reason why relationships fail is because of space aliens.

debbiejo

debbiejo
Noooooo don't think this yet let it go...True love is what? .....haven't found it myself......

BobbyD
Originally posted by Smiter
Simple Questions, Post Opinions Here

Many reasons.

Shelbert Lemon
Ive not read through this one but Id say a lot of times its lack of communication... and sometimes... its not that they arent talking... more so they dont know how to talk to each other. When I was with my ex (my daughters dad) I couldnt talk to him ... but expressing my feelings and thoughts to others was easy.... but then I got to where I simply didnt care as well.

Smiter
Originally posted by debbiejo
Noooooo don't think this yet let it go...True love is what? .....haven't found it myself......

thats because you spend too much time with MR. K.M.C.

debbiejo
Originally posted by Shelbert Lemon
I got to where I simply didnt care as well. Yep, that's what it comes down to alright.

Lord Urizen
Just because someone doesn't love you back, doesn't make your Love any less valid.


I've been in Love before, and no it wasn't an illusion. It may not have been mature love, or selfless love, but it wasn't something I invoked upon myself.

Unfortunately it wasn't returned....guess what....I was heartbroken ...


For TWO YEARS



I would have died for this guy.....i dont know wtf got into me....i would never ask to be in that state of mind again....i never loved someone since to that intensity....not even my current relationships contain that kind of flame.

Smiter
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
Just because someone doesn't love you back, doesn't make your Love any less valid.


I've been in Love before, and no it wasn't an illusion. It may not have been mature love, or selfless love, but it wasn't something I invoked upon myself.

Unfortunately it wasn't returned....guess what....I was heartbroken ...


For TWO YEARS



I would have died for this guy.....i dont know wtf got into me....i would never ask to be in that state of mind again....i never loved someone since to that intensity....not even my current relationships contain that kind of flame.

thats because you gave it all that youve got and youve got nothing more to give. You invested something and lost everything. Now you gotta recover it back. But recovering doesnt mean recovering it back to the ORIGINAL STATE. Recovering means some parts will be missing and not complete. Love sucks doesnt it. But in return, for those that are missing pieces, you become stronger wiser and tougher.

BobbyD
Originally posted by Smiter
thats because you gave it all that youve got and youve got nothing more to give. You invested something and lost everything. Now you gotta recover it back. But recovering doesnt mean recovering it back to the ORIGINAL STATE. Recovering means some parts will be missing and not complete. Love sucks doesnt it. But in return, for those that are missing pieces, you become stronger wiser and tougher.

Indeed. ....very well said.

Shelbert Lemon
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
Just because someone doesn't love you back, doesn't make your Love any less valid.


I've been in Love before, and no it wasn't an illusion. It may not have been mature love, or selfless love, but it wasn't something I invoked upon myself.

Unfortunately it wasn't returned....guess what....I was heartbroken ...


For TWO YEARS



I would have died for this guy.....i dont know wtf got into me....i would never ask to be in that state of mind again....i never loved someone since to that intensity....not even my current relationships contain that kind of flame. Originally posted by Smiter
thats because you gave it all that youve got and youve got nothing more to give. You invested something and lost everything. Now you gotta recover it back. But recovering doesnt mean recovering it back to the ORIGINAL STATE. Recovering means some parts will be missing and not complete. Love sucks doesnt it. But in return, for those that are missing pieces, you become stronger wiser and tougher. I know what you say is the truth because I learned this exact same thing through experience...

Originally posted by BobbyD
Indeed. ....very well said.

Smiter
I feel like a guru or something big grin
Those who are looking for relationships, Does everyone go through the same shit? Heartache-Heartbreak-Headache-Sexache?

Shelbert Lemon
Originally posted by Smiter

Those who are looking for relationships, Does everyone go through the same shit? Heartache-Heartbreak-Headache-Sexache? I dont know about everyone but yeah something like that.

Smiter
I thought so, for once I feel I could prove my theories about love romance relationship and all that shit, are validated or correct.

botankus
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
Just because someone doesn't love you back, doesn't make your Love any less valid.


I've been in Love before, and no it wasn't an illusion. It may not have been mature love, or selfless love, but it wasn't something I invoked upon myself.

Unfortunately it wasn't returned....guess what....I was heartbroken ...


For TWO YEARS



I would have died for this guy.....i dont know wtf got into me....i would never ask to be in that state of mind again....i never loved someone since to that intensity....not even my current relationships contain that kind of flame.

PVS must not be at work today.

Shelbert Lemon
Originally posted by Smiter
I thought so, for once I feel I could prove my theories about love romance relationship and all that shit, are validated or correct. it isnt a science you can prove or disprove... not everyone works the same way stick out tongue

Storm
Originally posted by Smiter
I feel like a guru or something big grin
Those who are looking for relationships, Does everyone go through the same shit? Heartache-Heartbreak-Headache-Sexache?
Love finds you, often when it' s most inconvenient. It comes in its own time, on its own terms, in whatever shape or form it chooses, and whether you accept it or reject it is entirely up to you.

BobbyD
Originally posted by Storm
Love finds you, often when it' s most inconvenient. It comes in its own time, on its own terms, in whatever shape or form it chooses, and whether you accept it or reject it is entirely up to you.

Well said. wink

Shelbert Lemon
Originally posted by Storm
Love finds you, often when it' s most inconvenient. It comes in its own time, on its own terms, in whatever shape or form it chooses, and whether you accept it or reject it is entirely up to you. this is the most truest thing for me... again... my battle lately is weather to accept whats in front of my face.... again.

I want to put this in my profile to save it if you dont mind.

Soleran
Originally posted by Storm
Love finds you, often when it' s most inconvenient. It comes in its own time, on its own terms, in whatever shape or form it chooses, and whether you accept it or reject it is entirely up to you.


Such is life as a whole and not just lovesmile

Smiter
But trying to find love sucks badly.

Smiter
Ok, last year I gave my time money effort love, I gave myself, as in I gave everything that I've got. Unfortunately, my best wasn't good enough that my ex's was trying to find someone better, in other words they cheat. They took advantage of what I've got and so I'm bitter, I am still although, I say to myself, your stronger wiser and tougher than this. I'll be over it soon but it takes time.

botankus
Originally posted by BobbyD
Well said. wink

For an Animal Lover like yourself, you probably can't be as picky.

Smiter
Originally posted by botankus
For an Animal Lover like yourself, you probably can't be as picky.

Go to a zoo. Youll find love over there.

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Smiter
thats because you gave it all that youve got and youve got nothing more to give.



I know sad


Well, actually I do have a lot more to give, but I have always felt that I loved my partners more than they loved me. I'm a very sensitive guy when I open up, and I tend to close off to people I don't feel I can trust.







Originally posted by Smiter
You invested something and lost everything. Now you gotta recover it back. But recovering doesnt mean recovering it back to the ORIGINAL STATE.



I know ... what I felt was in the past, and I learned from it. When I look back though, none of it makes sense. But I learned the hard way that just because I love someone, doesn't mean there's any real connection. The guy I was head over heels for didn't really give a shit about me...lo0o0ng story

It also didn't help that he kept trying to deny who he was.....

Ne ways, I got over it, but I never had a heartbreak last THAT LONG....this hurt far more than my ego....If a soul existed, I felt like my soul itself was damaged....


But I can tell you one thing....I haven't been the same ever since no





Originally posted by Smiter
Recovering means some parts will be missing and not complete. Love sucks doesnt it.



Love only sucks when it's not returned, because then you cannot let it circulate, and when it is trapped in your mind and body it becomes a strong poison.

It took me months to admit to the guy how I felt, only to have been humiliated when the guy told all his freinds that I was this "disgusting ***" and "i better stay away from him", even though he flirted with me wayy before that.



At the time I put up with so much abuse....it was like I lost myself...I never felt more desparate in my entire life than at that year.....I look back, and wanna smack myself for allowing myself such weakness.

Today, i don't tolerate any form of abuse, even from those I love.






Originally posted by Smiter
But in return, for those that are missing pieces, you become stronger wiser and tougher.


I agree. But I also became less trusting....and not all because of him. Feelings come and go....I'd have lovers who were obsessed with me one day, and forgot about me the next 4 months....I also had lovers who I was totally attracted to one day, who I forgot about the next day as well.....


I have less trust for my own feelings as well as others.

PVS
droolio

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by PVS
droolio


OH BABY NOW YOU'RE TALKN MY LANGUAGE ! droolio




Thanks for cheering me up.....now I remember why I look to cheap sex to solve all my problems big grin

PVS
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
OH BABY NOW YOU'RE TALKN MY LANGUAGE ! droolio




Thanks for cheering me up.....now I remember why I look to cheap sex to solve all my problems big grin

ok sounds fun. enjoy your aids.

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by PVS
ok sounds fun. enjoy your aids.





AIDS NEVER TASTED SO SALTY ! droolio




















Oh f*ck, that's disgusting.... sick

PVS
...yet not funny.

Smiter
Most of our experiences are so different and yet similar.
The drama of Love continues.

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by PVS
...yet not funny.



I was being serious.....I don't joke about sex....only religion.

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Smiter
Most of our experiences are so different and yet similar.
The drama of Love continues.



Which is exactly why I strongly disagree with arguments from Lord Xyz and other people who don't beleive Love actually exists.

Smiter
thats because lord xyz never had any love, theres a claw that shaped of V attached to his balls. little did he know and only ass juice or puzzyjuice can desolve that.

soin2cal
I did not get thatmessed

botankus
Originally posted by soin2cal
I did not get thatmessed

Be happy that you didn't.

soin2cal
why?

botankus
Because I didn't get it, either, and I'm sure I'm not alone on that one.

debbiejo
It's the horse again....with that tongue..and in a relationship thread..... laughing out loud

And she likes it too.......

Smiter
I hate failing so feed me the info i dont fail

Rogue Jedi
Originally posted by Storm
Love finds you, often when it' s most inconvenient. It comes in its own time, on its own terms, in whatever shape or form it chooses, and whether you accept it or reject it is entirely up to you.
exactly. fight it all you want, its a losing battle.

queeq
Nope... love is a verb.

Rogue Jedi
love is the most powerful eomtion of all. love will make you do crazy things, and it can also bring your life into balance.

queeq
Do not confuse love with lust.

Rogue Jedi
Originally posted by queeq
Do not confuse love with lust.
theres a fine line, indeed, but love is so much better.

queeq
But love is hard work. Lust is not.

Rogue Jedi
youve never been truly in love, have you?

queeq
You wouodn't believe me, but I've been married for 14 years. I think I do know what I am talking about.

Rogue Jedi
then you should know that true love comes naturally. if the other person is all that matters to you, and you to them, love is easy. it gets hard when one of the two does not love the other as much.

BobbyD
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
then you should know that true love comes naturally. if the other person is all that matters to you, and you to them, love is easy. it gets hard when one of the two does not love the other as much.

Half true. ...still takes effort either way.

Don't believe everything you see in the movies. stick out tongue

But, after reading many of your posts here, you are (generally) correct about your assessments.

queeq
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
then you should know that true love comes naturally. if the other person is all that matters to you, and you to them, love is easy. it gets hard when one of the two does not love the other as much.

the affection comes naturally, to keep it that way is hard work.

debbiejo
Like working on a railroad alllllll dayyyyyyyyy longggggggg.

FistOfThe North
Relationships fail because of incompatibility and getting with and marrying someone just because she looks cute and that's all that matters.

Or because they wanna impress others. Stupid are the men whom get married because all his friends are doing it.

queeq
I believe it fails because at least one of the two doesn't want to WORK on the relationship...

debbiejo
That's usually the case... yes

I was in a long relationship and I found when one no longer cares then the other just mirrors it, then poof.

queeq
Yup... I think it all comes down to how important one thinks lasting relationships are.

debbiejo
And people change also, and if the other can't accept that then ......poof. It's a judgmental thing. It's really conditional. And so the two part ways. And it could be for the better, really. Otherwise, resentment builds up..........then you got a murder on your hands.........

death

FistOfThe North
With me, when i broke up with my last ex, it was because i lost the initial interest i had in her. I mean don't get me wrong she's cute as hell but I became dead bored with her, no matter what we did and no matter how hard we tried.

It got to the point where we'd get on the phone and talk about any and everything, constantly, then later on in the relationship, nothing would be said for as long as 10 min. while on the phone.

It became mind numbing. It's sort of as if we did everything there was to do. Like there was nothing else to do or say anymore. It just became dull. I got 2-1/2 years down the drain and a lesson learned. Not a bad deal, eh?

debbiejo
Who invented long term relationships anyway. I think it's a dumb idea. Ok, for some. Ok, heres an idea. Marriages should be a contract for 5 years, after that, one must renew.........simple.

BobbyD
Originally posted by FistOfThe North
Relationships fail because of incompatibility and getting with and marrying someone just because she looks cute and that's all that matters.

Or because they wanna impress others. Stupid are the men whom get married because all his friends are doing it.

Ha. As true as your statement is, women are worse. ...more inclined to marry since their friends marry. Guys, intrinsically want to stay single for as long as they possible can, thus it's more like guys marry because they WANT to marry. Women marry when they CAN marry.

wink

FistOfThe North
Originally posted by debbiejo
Who invented long term relationships anyway. I think it's a dumb idea. Ok, for some. Ok, heres an idea. Marriages should be a contract for 5 years, after that, one must renew.........simple.

haha. Marriage may be ok, but it looks like it takes crazy effort and discipline, it seems.

I dunno. And with more and more people getting divorced that staying married nowadays just makes marriage seem not worth the cost and effort.

botankus
Originally posted by debbiejo
Who invented long term relationships anyway. I think it's a dumb idea. Ok, for some. Ok, heres an idea. Marriages should be a contract for 5 years, after that, one must renew.........simple.

Nice idea, but the renegotiation process could be a logistical nightmare.

debbiejo
Don't ruin my idea... mad

LOL

queeq
Originally posted by debbiejo
Who invented long term relationships anyway. I think it's a dumb idea. Ok, for some. Ok, heres an idea. Marriages should be a contract for 5 years, after that, one must renew.........simple.

AH... the easy way.

soin2cal
I do not really fancy ever getting married. I believe many rush in, also the cost, its very expensive and i would want a wedding that wasnt in this country! LOL!

I also believe that you commit yourself to someone, so therefore whats the whole point in marriage? Incase your relationship happened to go wrong for example, then you wasted out all your money.
I am not being negatively, its just my thoughts. I personally think you should commit yourself to everyone if you commit yourself to getting married.
I actualy do commit myself to people, therefore never let them go as theyre important to me. Even a friend!

Rogue Jedi
Originally posted by queeq
the affection comes naturally, to keep it that way is hard work.
i disagree. the affection is the easy part.

debbiejo
Yes, but keeping it is harder...

PiruBlood
drugs alcohol. but mostly u have to have chemistry with that person to make a relationship work.

Draco69
Relationships fail because of YOU!!!!

It's all YOUR f**king fault!!!

Rogue Jedi
committing yourself to your job, letting it become your life.

Smiter
Originally posted by Draco69
Relationships fail because of YOU!!!!

It's all YOUR f**king fault!!!

It takes 1 to mess up, It takes 2 to break up It takes 3 to cheat.

queeq
Some wise words today. Where'd you get those? From a fortune cookie?

Rogue Jedi
or a cracker jack box?

queeq
Possibly

Smiter
I know why my relationship failed. Because I'm broke


























































back.

queeq
laughing out loud

debbiejo
Relationships end cause, well the other ones a psycho........And won't seek help either...........damn! sad

queeq
You seem to talk out of experience. Care to share?

Ymgir the Frost
Trust. Communication. Love. Etc.

There are several factors as to why relationships fail, and I don't really think one can provide a broad reason as to why. Love isn't that simple.

*Shrugs*

Alpha Centauri
It's not the relationships that fail, just like drugs aren't responsible for being taken.

People fail relationships, and that's the main reason. One way or another, it's to do with the two people involved. In other cases, circumstances just may not be right.

I've always maintained the idea that two people who want a relationship to work equally, and have the means and situation to make it succeed, can do so. Everybody is different and things can change.

-AC

Ymgir the Frost

debbiejo
Originally posted by queeq
You seem to talk out of experience. Care to share? The mans a damn lunatic.........He's sooooooo damn obsessed with me. God, sure wish he'd find some panties to sack......and leave me alone........What the hell, there is more to life them me ya know........LOL big grin

Regret
Relationships fail due to one or both partners remaining unwilling to give up their individual self to better the combined relationship of the two. This doesn't mean you must completely lose your identity, but it does mean that if an aspect of your individual self conflicts with the betterment of the relationship it must be discarded, or discussed within the relationship, to achieve either a compromise that results in no harm to the relationship. Compromise and communication are wonderful things, but they are merely tools one uses in attempting to maintain and better the relationship. Selfishness that leads away from some compromise on either part is the reason a relationship fails. You must be satisfied, but so must your partner in the relationship, if your satisfaction comes at the expense of your partner's satisfaction, you will result in a poorly functioning relationship.

Sorry if this repeated various other people's posts, I just answered the question did not read through the thread.

For my background: I have been in one monogamous relationship for almost twenty years, and have been married for eleven of those years.

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