If you were god

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TRH
If you where god what whould you do?

Symmetric Chaos
Screw people over constantly.

Sarda from 8-bit theater is who I would aspire to be if I was omnipotent.

Regret
Allow people to screw themselves over, they'll do it and blame me anyway.

lord xyz
I hate bad grammar.

finti
I would end all religion

Regret
Originally posted by lord xyz
I hate bad grammar. So you'd abolish the ability to have bad grammar?

Bardock42
Originally posted by TRH
If you where god what whould you do?

"were"

Thundar
I'd probably destroy this world as it is now and start from scratch. Good thing I'm not God.

lord xyz
Originally posted by Thundar
I'd probably destroy this world as it is now and start from scratch. Good thing I'm not God. I know, another flood?

Capt_Fantastic
If I were god, we'd all live in pyramids. And there would be a channel that plays nothing but Golden Girls, 24/7. Everyone would be thin and women would only be able to get pregnant on one day out of the year...and THAT would be my birthday. (like xmas)

TRH
Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
If I were god, we'd all live in pyramids. And there would be a channel that plays nothing but Golden Girls, 24/7. Everyone would be thin and women would only be able to get pregnant on one day out of the year...and THAT would be my birthday. (like xmas)


Glad you are not god

lord xyz
If Iwas God, I'd prove my existance and express my authority.

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by lord xyz
I know, another flood?

Floods are cliche no self respecting God would do that again.

Whats in right now is irony.

Capt_Fantastic
Originally posted by TRH
Glad you are not god

Sorry I didn't take your "thread" seriously.

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by TRH
If you where god what whould you do?

I am God, or at least a part of God. wink

lord xyz
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
I am God, or at least a part of God. wink Yes, we all are according to you.

TRH
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
I am God, or at least a part of God. wink

Paradox right?

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
I am God, or at least a part of God. wink

What if you were a bigger part or had control over every part of reality then what would you do?

Marxman
Originally posted by TRH
If you where god what whould you do?

Smite thee!

Originally posted by Regret
So you'd abolish the ability to have bad grammar?

Impossible. You'd have to abolish language. Unfortunately, not even God can prevent stupidity. erm

TRH
Smite a fellow comrade?

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by lord xyz
Yes, we all are according to you.

That does create a problem with being God. Your never very special if everyone is God. stick out tongue


Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
What if you were a bigger part or had control over every part of reality then what would you do?

Like having a gun in your hand?

TRH
no like controlling peoples lives

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by TRH
no like controlling peoples lives


Like having a lot of people with guns?

Thundar
Originally posted by lord xyz
I hate bad grammar.

Are you referring to *message board* grammar or the grammar most of us use in real life? If you're referring to the first, then I'd have to say that there'd be quite a few on this board you'd have to get rid of..possibly even yourself.

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Like having a lot of people with guns?

no (see omnipotence)

and stop being coy what would you do if you could alter reality at a whim?

lord xyz
Since when does hating mean I'm going to get rid of it?

TRH
Since Hitler

lord xyz
Originally posted by TRH
Since Hitler So Hitler changed the definition of hate did he?

TRH
Yes

soin2cal
I think that this is a very hard question to answer. We could never imagine what it would be like being a spirit in heavenlaughing out loud Also depends on your beliefs alsostick out tongue

Lord Urizen
If I were God I would create two creatures called human beings. I would name them Adam and Eve.

They would live in my Garden, called the Garden of Eden....

Then I would put a tree called the "Tree of Knowledge" and tell Adam and Eve they couldn't eat the fruit from that fkn tree ! I would put that tree thier simply to instigate some kind of conflict, and some kind of means by which they can offend me.....

Then I would send a snake there to harass them, and tempt them to eat the fruit....since I created him before I created them, and since he is such a powerful deciever, I'd expect Adam and Eve to betray me.


Then I'd cast them out of the Garden, throw a drama queen hissy fit, throw thunder bolts all over the damn place, and cast the snake into an eternal hellfire, until I can summon him to instigate further for me...


I'd curse all of thier offspring by automatically sending the souls of thier children to hell, even though they didn't do anything.


Then a few centuries later, I would make NO CONTACT with thier offspring....i'd simply watch in anger as the human race learns to develop, and makes mistakes doing so.....

I'd burn down cities, smite those who anger me, send a ghost to kill young babies, and just drown the entire world, cuz im' f*cked up like that.....


Then i'd have the nerve to tell them I do what I do out of Love, and not boredom or sadism or ne thing like that....

I'd expect them to worship me, beleive in me, and obey me even though I do not intend to prove my existance to them....even though thier are tons of other religions that already exist, i'd still expect them to relinquish thier infidel beleifs and beleive in me !


Then I would send my son to a poor village, have him speak on my behalf, and then get killed through a horrendous death, because I feel there hasn't already been enough bloodshed !



I LOVE BLOOD ! droolio



Then even though I already sacraficed and tortured my own son, I'd still leave the Gates of Hell open, and the Gates of Heaven closed.


I would summon Satan, the snake I banished long ago, and order him to harass and tempt my children some more ! I need an excuse to punish people, and I can't punish them if they didn't do ne thing wrong !


So......



HE tempts them, they fail....they either beleive other things, enact in homosexual activity, lie, kill other people, dont pray enough, dont go to church, shave thier beards, eat read meat, vote for Clinton, or do some other sh*t that offends the f&ck outta me...


So I raise the temperature in Hell, watch it BOIL...I can't WAIT to send some of these people there ! They're just asking for it !


I WANT BLOOD !



I will rely on Satan to do the job for me.....to tempt people, give me a reason to punish them, then punish Satan once he's finished....even though he was only doing his job....


Oh how I will burn them ! The Jews, the Homosexuals, the Atheists, the Buddhists, the Liberals !

I will watch them burn and laugh !


As they suffer for all fkn eternity, and no matter how much they beg, I will say "HA HA ! TOO LATE !"


Even though I never gave any proof of my existance, I will still punish them for thier lack of beleif and devotion to my utter perfection !




Aren't you guys glad I'm not God ?

TRH
yes

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
no (see omnipotence)

and stop being coy what would you do if you could alter reality at a whim?

Alter reality at a whim.

To be straight forward, omnipotence is a contradiction.

Symmetric Chaos
how?

you said paradoxes were OK though

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
how?

you said paradoxes were OK though

I did? laughing How paradoxical of me.

Lord Urizen
Paradoxes are not the same thing as contradictions.

Thundar
Based on all of the responses listed within this thread, I think it's apparent that none of us are worthy of being God. So thank heavens we have a loving one. The fact that we're still alive, and allowed to even speak against him..is definitely a testimony to his love.

finti
yeah what a loving deity that let man really inflict all this pain on each other like we do here on earth, only a loving and caring deity would allow that.........indeed a great and humane god

quickshot
The christian god is a good god he does jtst enough for us to not be sure wether its him or not. I'd be throwing down brimstone and hellfire from Day1

finti
you want this god to be good but if this god really existed this god couldnt sit back and accept the mayhem earth is experience now and have for the last 50 years

lord xyz
Well God is pretty good, he made non-christians just as able as christians, that's kind of him.

Nellinator
I decided that non-believers contradict themselves. They want God to intervene and stop evil, but if they are guilty of evil they think God has no place to stop them from doing what they want. It's a good thing that God has found the happy medium.

finti
laughing out loud laughing out loud yeah read the bible again and then read the defenition of contradiction, good thing you decided about non belivers or sane people as they also are called

lord xyz
Originally posted by Nellinator
I decided that non-believers contradict themselves. They want God to intervene and stop evil, but if they are guilty of evil they think God has no place to stop them from doing what they want. It's a good thing that God has found the happy medium. Eh? I don't understand what you mean "but if they are guilty of evil they think God has no place to stop them from doing what they want", or "It's a good thing that God has found the happy medium." and who are you to say non-christians are contradictory. What the hell have non-christians tried to prove?

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Nellinator
I decided that non-believers contradict themselves. They want God to intervene and stop evil, but if they are guilty of evil they think God has no place to stop them from doing what they want. It's a good thing that God has found the happy medium.

As if evil existed out side of our selves. Evil is not an independent force.

Smiter
Originally posted by TRH
If you where god what whould you do?

"Teach you how to spell.
Burn you in hell
At the same time
your'e having an orgasm
as you burn."

-Holy Scriptures of Orgasmism. Chapter 666. Lord Urizen.

King Kandy
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
If I were God I would create two creatures called human beings. I would name them Adam and Eve.

They would live in my Garden, called the Garden of Eden....

Then I would put a tree called the "Tree of Knowledge" and tell Adam and Eve they couldn't eat the fruit from that fkn tree ! I would put that tree thier simply to instigate some kind of conflict, and some kind of means by which they can offend me.....

Then I would send a snake there to harass them, and tempt them to eat the fruit....since I created him before I created them, and since he is such a powerful deciever, I'd expect Adam and Eve to betray me.


Then I'd cast them out of the Garden, throw a drama queen hissy fit, throw thunder bolts all over the damn place, and cast the snake into an eternal hellfire, until I can summon him to instigate further for me...


I'd curse all of thier offspring by automatically sending the souls of thier children to hell, even though they didn't do anything.


Then a few centuries later, I would make NO CONTACT with thier offspring....i'd simply watch in anger as the human race learns to develop, and makes mistakes doing so.....

I'd burn down cities, smite those who anger me, send a ghost to kill young babies, and just drown the entire world, cuz im' f*cked up like that.....


Then i'd have the nerve to tell them I do what I do out of Love, and not boredom or sadism or ne thing like that....

I'd expect them to worship me, beleive in me, and obey me even though I do not intend to prove my existance to them....even though thier are tons of other religions that already exist, i'd still expect them to relinquish thier infidel beleifs and beleive in me !


Then I would send my son to a poor village, have him speak on my behalf, and then get killed through a horrendous death, because I feel there hasn't already been enough bloodshed !



I LOVE BLOOD ! droolio



Then even though I already sacraficed and tortured my own son, I'd still leave the Gates of Hell open, and the Gates of Heaven closed.


I would summon Satan, the snake I banished long ago, and order him to harass and tempt my children some more ! I need an excuse to punish people, and I can't punish them if they didn't do ne thing wrong !


So......



HE tempts them, they fail....they either beleive other things, enact in homosexual activity, lie, kill other people, dont pray enough, dont go to church, shave thier beards, eat read meat, vote for Clinton, or do some other sh*t that offends the f&ck outta me...


So I raise the temperature in Hell, watch it BOIL...I can't WAIT to send some of these people there ! They're just asking for it !


I WANT BLOOD !



I will rely on Satan to do the job for me.....to tempt people, give me a reason to punish them, then punish Satan once he's finished....even though he was only doing his job....


Oh how I will burn them ! The Jews, the Homosexuals, the Atheists, the Buddhists, the Liberals !

I will watch them burn and laugh !


As they suffer for all fkn eternity, and no matter how much they beg, I will say "HA HA ! TOO LATE !"


Even though I never gave any proof of my existance, I will still punish them for thier lack of beleif and devotion to my utter perfection !




Aren't you guys glad I'm not God ?
All Christians just got OWNED.

I'd gloat. Make everyone writhe with envy over my powers, and make them feel like failures for there entire pitiful existances.

And I'd make sure that NO ONE could deny my existance, by doing this every minute of there lives.

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Nellinator
I decided that non-believers contradict themselves. They want God to intervene and stop evil, but if they are guilty of evil they think God has no place to stop them from doing what they want. It's a good thing that God has found the happy medium.


1) A non-beleiver cannot "want God" to do anything since they don't beleive in God.


2) I don't think I intentionally participate in "evil", if you count promiscuity or homosexuality as "evil", then that's your problem, not mine.

True Evil is cruelty, hatred, and sadism.

Those are REAL problems....real problems of this world such as global starvation, poverty, and disease....and then you Evangelicals focus soo much time, money, and energy against things like Abortion and Gay Marriage, which do not matter in comparison to the true evils this world is really experiencing.

Jadyn
Originally posted by finti
you want this god to be good but if this god really existed this god couldnt sit back and accept the mayhem earth is experience now and have for the last 50 years

Really? So 1. You now define what is considered loving and good?
2. What if free will is the highest good?

Marxman
Originally posted by TRH
Smite a fellow comrade?

I'm God. I smite people for no other reason except I can.

finti
ehh no 1 your so called saviour in the person refereed to as christ did that and if you find the events of starving children around the world , or war torn civilians around earth as loving and good deeds I guess you are a real christian
2 free will was broken down once according to the bible even so if this god regretted his actions of the flood, kind of old and demented then was this gods actions of Sodom and Gomorrah and who really are this gods people aint they all this gods creation, but it got some favorites

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Jadyn
Really? So 1. You now define what is considered loving and good?


Well, I definately see it loving and good to take away someone's suffering....your god has not done a good job at that.



Originally posted by Jadyn
2. What if free will is the highest good?



Then that's pathetic and God should not be mad at us for excorsizing our free will, which you imply is "the highest good"

Jadyn
Originally posted by finti
ehh no 1 your so called saviour in the person refereed to as christ did that and if you find the events of starving children around the world , or war torn civilians around earth as loving and good deeds I guess you are a real christian
2 free will was broken down once according to the bible even so if this god regretted his actions of the flood, kind of old and demented then was this gods actions of Sodom and Gomorrah and who really are this gods people aint they all this gods creation, but it got some favorites

1. The Christian church does more to fight world poverty and suffering than any other institution. 2. Free will exists. What we do with it is up to us. If we use it to break the rules, we get punished. It's as simple as that.

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Jadyn
1. The Christian church does more to fight world poverty and suffering than any other institution. 2. Free will exists. What we do with it is up to us. If we use it to break the rules, we get punished. It's as simple as that.

The church is not God

Why would God create us and give us free will if he was just going to ignore the fact and tell us what to do with our lives? (sounds mean or insane to me)

finti
1. is that propaganda they feed you with????? after all the crap the christian church have inflicted on this word they sure do need some making up time, here in Norway we have none religious groups that are far better in conducting the works around third world countries than christian groups, why? cause they dont waste time in trying to convert the ones they help into being like them
2. of course free will exist, but then again we of the so called free rules made the rules (laws)so the latter actually is pretty obvious

Jadyn
Originally posted by finti
1. is that propaganda they feed you with????? after all the crap the christian church have inflicted on this word they sure do need some making up time, here in Norway we have none religious groups that are far better in conducting the works around third world countries than christian groups, why? cause they dont waste time in trying to convert the ones they help into being like them
2. of course free will exist, but then again we of the so called free rules made the rules (laws)so the latter actually is pretty obvious

1. I'm...not exactly sure what you said. I actually didn't hear that stat from a Christian, I heard it from Newsweek magazine. There are more mission stations helping educate poor kids in third-world countries than any other foundation. Yeah, the church has screwed up, but who hasn't? Why, exactly, does everyone assume that Christians have to be perfect or they are hypocritical idiots?

Also, don't misunderstand me, I don't think that the Christian should go around converting people, or that you should fulfill a quota of converts or anything like that. Heck, I hang out with people who don't exactly have the best reputations. I don't condescend to them, I don't try and guilt trip them, but I don't join them. I talk about my religion more on message boards like these than I do in real life. My job, as a Christian, is to do the best I can to lead a moral life. That includes helping whomever I can in the way that will do the most overall good.

2. Whether or not we made the rules depends on your religion. Personally, I believe that God made the rules.

Shakyamunison
What would I do?

I would find some way to change: to grow. The problem with an omnipotent being is, you cannot change. I would divide myself into countess billions of small copies of myself, and I would make them mortal. They then could grow and change, and when they died, they would return to me, and I would then change and grow.

TRH
Originally posted by lord xyz
Well God is pretty good, he made non-christians just as able as christians, that's kind of him. laughing

Thundar
Originally posted by Nellinator
I decided that non-believers contradict themselves. They want God to intervene and stop evil, but if they are guilty of evil they think God has no place to stop them from doing what they want. It's a good thing that God has found the happy medium.


True. But unfortunately, most of mankind still won't accept the happy medium. I'm betting if Jesus came to this world and begged each one of us to come with him, there'd still be individuals who would choose Hell.

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Thundar
True. But unfortunately, most of mankind still won't accept the happy medium. I'm betting if Jesus came to this world and begged each one of us to come with him, there'd still be individuals who would choose Hell.

If it was Jesus and I knew it was Jesus even I would go

Thundar
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
If it was Jesus and I knew it was Jesus even I would go


Isn't that the same argument the rich man gave in the Lazarus parable?

Punctuation.

Symmetric Chaos
When Jesus came back didn't he say that everyone would be able to know it was him if he wished to reveal it?

Capt_Fantastic
Originally posted by Jadyn
Really? So 1. You now define what is considered loving and good?
2. What if free will is the highest good?

How can free will be the highest good? Free will condemns too many people to hell and suffering. So, free will is a farce.

And yes, christian missionaries do feed a lot of poor people in the third world. But they aren't there just to feed them. There there to educate and convert them. That's why they're called missionaries. Because they're on a mission. And feeding people is one thing, but when those missionaries are the only outlet to education these people have, they're going to take advantage of that. And they're being taught to be christians. That's been going on for hundreds of years. Africa, the Middle East, South America, parts of Asia.

Also these people roll into rural agricultural communities and play religious movies for them. This is pretty much deplorable, considering most of these people have never even seen a light bulb.

Molly Hayes
Originally posted by lord xyz
I hate bad grammar.

Just as well you use shot sentences then, isn't it?

lord xyz
Originally posted by Molly Hayes
Just as well you use shot sentences then, isn't it? Well, seeing as I do, know where the spellcheck is and am not you, I have no need to. People already know I'm literate.

Molly Hayes
Originally posted by lord xyz
Well, seeing as I do, know where the spellcheck is and am not you, I have no need to. People already know I'm literate.

O.K.

Thundar
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
When Jesus came back didn't he say that everyone would be able to know it was him if he wished to reveal it?


Yes, but going back to the rich man/Lazarus parable..the problem is that one would not know that it was Jesus, if they never had faith in him(or love for him) to begin with.

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Thundar
Yes, but going back to the rich man/Lazarus parable..the problem is that one would not know that it was Jesus, if they never had faith in him(or love for him) to begin with.

So what if he returned and met people who had never heard of Christ would he reveal himself to them? (serious question I'm just curious)

Thundar
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
So what if he returned and met people who had never heard of Christ would he reveal himself to them? (serious question I'm just curious)

Taken from that other thread where we've had this same tautological discussion..

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Thundar
Taken from that other thread where we've had this same tautological discussion..

embarrasment

we do seem to have the same argument a lot

but how does a person love someone they don't know

Thundar
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
embarrasment

we do seem to have the same argument a lot

but how does a person love someone they don't know


Anyone who knows "love" as it is defined by the bible, knows "God." (For the biblical definition of love, look up 1 Corinthian 13:1-13 on google)

Still, their love will not be "perfected" in Christ, until he has displaced all "fear" of this world from them, and assigned that fear to himself("fear" in this sense meaning..respect or reverence).

Once one is made aware of the bible and of Jesus's loving sacrifice, they are required to have faith in him alone, in order to be saved.

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Thundar
Anyone who knows "love" as it is defined by the bible, knows "God." (For the biblical definition of love, look up 1 Corinthian 13:1-13 on google)


Love is long suffering,
love is kind,
it is not jealous,
love does not boast,
it is not inflated.

It is not discourteous,
it is not selfish,
it is not irritable,
it does not enumerate the evil.
It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth

nice smile

Nellinator
You don't need to google verses.
http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/
Just type in what your looking for and you can see it in multilple translations. Its another useful sight I have found.

debbiejo
If I were god I'd say "Remember the one about Eve and the snake? Wasn't that a good one?" laughing out loud

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by debbiejo
If I were god I'd say "Remember the one about Eve and the snake? Wasn't that a good one?" laughing out loud

I saw that movie

droolio

naughty



oh wait you mean in bible don't you?

debbiejo
laughing out loud

BobbyD
Originally posted by TRH
If you where god what whould you do?

Nothing. Something would be seriously wrong if I were. wink

Symmetric Chaos
It could be argued that there is something seriously wrong with the God we have now. (And it is argued quite a lot in this forum)

BobbyD
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
It could be argued that there is something seriously wrong with the God we have now. (And it is argued quite a lot in this forum)

Why do say that? And how so?

Please, I am not attacking. ..just curious how you/others you have heard have come to this conclusion.

Symmetric Chaos
Observation of the world around me.

Seems kinda cruel with everything that happens in the world.

(plus I'm a Haruhist so the God I believe in is screwed up stick out tongue )

BobbyD
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
Observation of the world around me.

Seems kinda cruel with everything that happens in the world.

(plus I'm a Haruhist so the God I believe in is screwed up stick out tongue )

Okay, I can't speak for you. But, my God gave me a free will.....to choose. To choose even whether or not to accept Him!? It is because we have free will that there is evil in the world. Again, this response ONLY pertains to the way I see things. wink

Symmetric Chaos
Yeah I get where you're coming from but in my view God does seem a little imature at times (assuming such a creature is responsible for our environment)

Mindship
If I were God, the world would seem exactly the same. shifty

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Mindship
If I were God, the world would seem exactly the same. shifty

Not all would be as it seems. evil face

BobbyD
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Not all would be as it seems. evil face

Uh-huh!

Symmetric Chaos
I'm pretty sure that if any of us were God life would be pretty awful

We need Debbiejoe to post an answer here

BobbyD
Nah-uh!

debbiejo
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
I'm pretty sure that if any of us were God life would be pretty awful

We need Debbiejoe to post an answer here Well I did post in here.
Originally posted by debbiejo
If I were god I'd say "Remember the one about Eve and the snake? Wasn't that a good one?" laughing out loud

But yeah I'd have to agree that if anyone of us were god we would have our human tendencies and flaws that would make us selfish, demanding and vengeful, cruel and contradictory and opinionated of what we wanted...We could change our mind when ever we felt like it.....We would be needy of our worth of being praised.

BobbyD
Yeah-huh!

Sorry everyone....so slap-happy right now.

debbiejo
I hear married life does that......... roll eyes (sarcastic)

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by debbiejo
Well I did post in here.


But yeah I'd have to agree that if anyone of us were god we would have our human tendencies and flaws that would make us selfish, demanding and vengeful, cruel and contradictory and opinionated of what we wanted...We could change our mind when ever we felt like it.....We would be needy of our worth of being praised.

Oh yeah but if you were god what would you do besides ask question about what people remember from Genesis?

I would screw with people, Mindship would . . . I'm not sure actually, Thundar would reset reality, Capt_Fantastic would do something really odd with pyramids and golden girls, Marxman would get into the smiting, Shaky already is part of God and he just posts on KMC, Urizen would make the same mistakes as Yahwey, King Kandy would make himself known etc etc

so Debb what would you do with all that power?

debbiejo
But I am god..... roll eyes (sarcastic)

We are part creators.......so, I'd just keep creating. That mean that everyone would keep their own free will and everyone will create their own experience.....

But if I really really were god? I would open doors to other dimensions. I would make life really interesting! cool

Symmetric Chaos
So you take the Shaky approach?

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
So you take the Shaky approach?

confused

debbiejo
Yeah, pretty much....we agree on this I think...

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
confused

you stated that you were part of god

debbiejo
We all are!! smart

Everything is sooooo why would god throw parts of it's self in hell? It wouldn't make sense.

Mindship
In the beginning, God created the perfect world. There was no pain, no suffering, no death. There was only unending bliss.
And God said, "Man, this is borrrrriiiinnng."
That's when He got His idea how to stir things up, starting with a Bang.

Nellinator
Originally posted by Mindship
In the beginning, God created the perfect world. There was no pain, no suffering, no death. There was only unending bliss.
And God said, "Man, this is borrrrriiiinnng."
That's when He got His idea how to stir things up, starting with a Bang.
To be fair it would have to have been, "Jesus! this is boring."

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Nellinator
To be fair it would have to have been, "Jesus! this is boring."

Jesus was not around for a long time after the beginning, however, I believe in reincarnation, so in a way, Jesus and all of us were there.


Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
you stated that you were part of god

But you had me agreeing with Deb. laughing

Nellinator
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Jesus was not around for a long time after the beginning, however, I believe in reincarnation, so in a way, Jesus and all of us were there. The Bible teaches that Jesus was indeed at the beginning and that he was the author of creation which is why I made the joke. Which on second thought was not funny at all. Shame on me.

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Nellinator
The Bible teaches that Jesus was indeed at the beginning and that he was the author of creation which is why I made the joke. Which on second thought was not funny at all. Shame on me.

Shame on you for believing the bible. stick out tongue

lil bitchiness
If I was a God, I would probably be moe critical of stupid people -

I would look down on people and be like - ''You are an ass-hole *kills*''

Much like if I was a dictator i would firstly mainly decide who lives - and from what I've seen so far, not many would.

LethalFemme
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
If I was a God, I would probably be more critical of stupid people -

I would look down on people and be like - ''You are an ass-hole *kills*''

Much like if I was a dictator i would firstly mainly decide who lives - and from what I've seen so far, not many would.

Evil. I love itdd

BackFire
If I were god I'd come down and show myself, and tell people that all religions are right/wrong depending on how they go about practicing them, and that everyone should stop warring with one another and not ****ing worry about me.

I'd also let just about everyone into heaven, unless they were just really really mean, bad, hurtful people while on earth. None of this "Oh you didn't believe in me properly, you burn in hell and get raped now forever" crap. If you lived a decent life, you're in, regardless of your beliefs, it's all about actions.

Storm
I honestly don' t have an idea what I would do as God.

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
If I was a God, I would probably be moe critical of stupid people -

I would look down on people and be like - ''You are an ass-hole *kills*''

Much like if I was a dictator i would firstly mainly decide who lives - and from what I've seen so far, not many would.



And you wondor why I want no part of your religion laughing

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
If I were God I would create two creatures called human beings. I would name them Adam and Eve.

They would live in my Garden, called the Garden of Eden....

Then I would put a tree called the "Tree of Knowledge" and tell Adam and Eve they couldn't eat the fruit from that fkn tree ! I would put that tree thier simply to instigate some kind of conflict, and some kind of means by which they can offend me.....

Then I would send a snake there to harass them, and tempt them to eat the fruit....since I created him before I created them, and since he is such a powerful deciever, I'd expect Adam and Eve to betray me.


Then I'd cast them out of the Garden, throw a drama queen hissy fit, throw thunder bolts all over the damn place, and cast the snake into an eternal hellfire, until I can summon him to instigate further for me...


I'd curse all of thier offspring by automatically sending the souls of thier children to hell, even though they didn't do anything.


Then a few centuries later, I would make NO CONTACT with thier offspring....i'd simply watch in anger as the human race learns to develop, and makes mistakes doing so.....

I'd burn down cities, smite those who anger me, send a ghost to kill young babies, and just drown the entire world, cuz im' f*cked up like that.....


Then i'd have the nerve to tell them I do what I do out of Love, and not boredom or sadism or ne thing like that....

I'd expect them to worship me, beleive in me, and obey me even though I do not intend to prove my existance to them....even though thier are tons of other religions that already exist, i'd still expect them to relinquish thier infidel beleifs and beleive in me !


Then I would send my son to a poor village, have him speak on my behalf, and then get killed through a horrendous death, because I feel there hasn't already been enough bloodshed !



I LOVE BLOOD ! droolio



Then even though I already sacraficed and tortured my own son, I'd still leave the Gates of Hell open, and the Gates of Heaven closed.


I would summon Satan, the snake I banished long ago, and order him to harass and tempt my children some more ! I need an excuse to punish people, and I can't punish them if they didn't do ne thing wrong !


So......



HE tempts them, they fail....they either beleive other things, enact in homosexual activity, lie, kill other people, dont pray enough, dont go to church, shave thier beards, eat read meat, vote for Clinton, or do some other sh*t that offends the f&ck outta me...


So I raise the temperature in Hell, watch it BOIL...I can't WAIT to send some of these people there ! They're just asking for it !


I WANT BLOOD !



I will rely on Satan to do the job for me.....to tempt people, give me a reason to punish them, then punish Satan once he's finished....even though he was only doing his job....


Oh how I will burn them ! The Jews, the Homosexuals, the Atheists, the Buddhists, the Liberals !

I will watch them burn and laugh !


As they suffer for all fkn eternity, and no matter how much they beg, I will say "HA HA ! TOO LATE !"


Even though I never gave any proof of my existance, I will still punish them for thier lack of beleif and devotion to my utter perfection !




Aren't you guys glad I'm not God ?




How come Nellinator, Regret, or Marcello didn't take the time to insult me for making fun of thier God ? sad

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
How come Nellinator, Regret, or Marcello didn't take the time to insult me for making fun of thier God ? sad

You've become a has been. eek!

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
You've become a has been. eek!


Damn, KMC is tired of me already ?



I thought for SURE that my trolling would get me on the KMC HALL OF FAME !







that's okay though....



I always have Smiter to carry on my Legacy....

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
Damn, KMC is tired of me already ?

I thought for SURE that my trolling would get me on the KMC HALL OF FAME !

that's okay though....

I always have Smiter to carry on my Legacy....

you must troll with variety Lord Urizen lest your foes grow weary of fruitless battle

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
Damn, KMC is tired of me already ?



I thought for SURE that my trolling would get me on the KMC HALL OF FAME !







that's okay though....



I always have Smiter to carry on my Legacy....


Smiter? Is that your sock? confused laughing out loud

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
you must troll with variety Lord Urizen lest your foes grow weary of fruitless battle




True, how could I allow myself to SLIP like that ? I'll be more careful next time, so my trolling bears fruits.....






Originally posted by Shaky
Smiter? Is that your sock?




laughing


OMG I WISH !


He's so cool, and he's SUCH a character ! I can't beleive there was someone on these forums who made even ME look Conservative and Respectful ! ....



And the funniest thing is that HE is a CHRISTIAN.....and he bashes HIS OWN RELIGION laughing


I love him !



But as for you actual question, Shaky, no he is not my sock. I have NO NEED of a Sock....anything I wish to say, I say straight forward and you should know that already....

Symmetric Chaos
Urizen the second quote was from Shaky

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
...But as for you actual question, Shaky, no he is not my sock. I have NO NEED of a Sock....anything I wish to say, I say straight forward and you should know that already....

Ya, ya that's what a sock owner would say. stick out tongue

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Ya, ya that's what a sock owner would say. stick out tongue


If Smiter was my sock, don't you think Lil B or Storm would have found out by now, and banned me a loo0o0o0ng time ago ?


You KNOW thier just WAITING for me to give another reason to be outta here.....

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
If Smiter was my sock, don't you think Lil B or Storm would have found out by now, and banned me a loo0o0o0ng time ago ?


You KNOW their just WAITING for me to give another reason to be outta here.....

Unless they where laughing their butts off. wink






















Don't you know that I'm teasing you?

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Unless they where laughing their butts off. wink






















Don't you know that I'm teasing you?





I know but still....



I SEE MYSELF AS AN INDIVIDUAL !




Even though Buddhism teaches us not to beleive in the "self"

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
I know but still....



I SEE MYSELF AS AN INDIVIDUAL !




Even though Buddhism teaches us not to beleive in the "self"

What you believe does not matter, the quality of life is what matters. You can believe that you can fly, but please don't jump off any buildings. cool

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
What you believe does not matter, the quality of life is what matters. You can believe that you can fly, but please don't jump off any buildings. cool



laughing



So you don't fully subscribe to some of Buddha's teachings? Understandable, since he was only Human....

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
laughing



So you don't fully subscribe to some of Buddha's teachings? Understandable, since he was only Human....

I follow the teachings of the Lotus sutra. big grin

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
I follow the teachings of the Lotus sutra. big grin


OMG ! DID U SAY THE KAMA SUTRA ?!??! droolio









lol j/k...but come ONE..you SAW that coming....you were ASKING FOR IT !

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
OMG ! DID U SAY THE KAMA SUTRA ?!??! droolio









lol j/k...but come ONE..you SAW that coming....you were ASKING FOR IT !

NO! Too much droolio, you must have something in your eyes. laughing stick out tongue

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
NO! Too much droolio, you must have something in your eyes. laughing stick out tongue


Do you really wanna know ? wink

lil bitchiness
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
And you wondor why I want no part of your religion laughing

I never wondered such thing. As far as I recall, I was the one claiming YOU would be a stain on my religion.

Provided you don't actually know much about Buddhism or Paganism, I wouldn't be suprised if I heard some more overgeneralised, uterrly non challanging or thought provoking statemtnts.

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
I never wondered such thing. As far as I recall, I was the one claiming YOU would be a stain on my religion.


Considering the fact that you would kill people you think are stupid, I think your religion is ALREADY a stain in itself. wink




Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Provided you don't actually know much about Buddhism or Paganism, I wouldn't be suprised if I heard some more overgeneralised, uterrly non challanging or thought provoking statemtnts.



FYI- I actually DO know a lot about Buddhism and Paganism. I made entire THREADS dedicated to Buddhism (one of which YOU moved to the Philosophy Forums), and other threads comparing Christianity to Greek and Egyptian Mythology....where have you been ?

lil bitchiness
It is too boring for me to have a debate with a person like yourself. Any seriousness I held about your posts was lost within the is god gay and jesus sperm/ogasam bullshite.

When you come up with a thought provoking thread, we'll talk.

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
It is too boring for me to have a debate with a person like yourself. Any seriousness I held about your posts was lost within the is god gay and jesus sperm/ogasam bullshite.


Debate ?



I didn't know we were debating, that sounded more like an insult fest to me.....





Originally posted by lil bitchiness
When you come up with a thought provoking thread, we'll talk.



Check out:



Christian Mythology
Why did God create Hell ?
A Little of what the Buddha Taught
Limitted Forgiveness ?
Zoroastrianism

Shakyamunison
Lord Urizen, it is your karma... Your over zealous attempt to bring light to certain aspects of god's sexuality has turned people like lil bitchiness against you. Change your ways and be saved, or perish in hell (this statement has a totally different meaning when coming from a Buddhist laughing ).

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Lord Urizen, it is your karma... Your over zealous attempt to bring light to certain aspects of god's sexuality has turned people like lil bitchiness against you. Change your ways and be saved, or perish in hell (this statement has a totally different meaning when coming from a Buddhist laughing ).



Why is everyone so sensitive around the topic of sex ? confused



I would hardly call Lil B's resentment toward me a Hell of any sort.....

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
Why is everyone so sensitive around the topic of sex ? confused



I would hardly call Lil B's resentment toward me a Hell of any sort.....

I would tell you why people are so sensitive around the topic of sex, but I don't want to be banned. eek! laughing

Lord Urizen
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
I would tell you why people are so sensitive around the topic of sex, but I don't want to be banned. eek! laughing


I hear ya there buddy wink

Shaman47
The Title and Description are pretty self explanatory. Anyway, please tell me how you'd run reality. Would you be a polytheistic entity or a monotheistic monarch? A Baal or an Isis? Would you work in secret small ways, or select one race to dominate others in your name? What would be your commandments, your prophets? Please enlighten me.

TRH
I already made this Duplicate

Shakyamunison
I am God, and how everything is being run right now, is as good as I can do. stick out tongue

FeceMan
Me? I'd rule with an iron fist. If someone pissed me off really badly, SMITE. If I was having a bad day, SMITE. If there were lots of blacks and Jews, SMITE.

Thundar
Originally posted by Shaman47
The Title and Description are pretty self explanatory. Anyway, please tell me how you'd run reality. Would you be a polytheistic entity or a monotheistic monarch? A Baal or an Isis? Would you work in secret small ways, or select one race to dominate others in your name? What would be your commandments, your prophets? Please enlighten me.

I'd never want to be God. To me, being God essentially means that you would have to be a slave to everyone's needs, putting your own wants and needs on the backburner all of the time. It also consists of knowing every desire and thought of the individual, as well as knowing every one of their outcomes in life, and having to consistently maintain your own righteousnous so that others would know what being "righteous and loving" truly meant.

Having to consistently do all of these things, combined with omnipotence, omniscience, omnipresence, etc would be extremely depressing. Heck, even with the little bit that I do know of God and this life, I sometimes get depressed. I think King Solomon put it best when he stated --

For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

But assumming that I was God, then I would probably do the exact same things he has done -- which includes creating a few brown nosers to answer questions such as these -- as well a few non-brown nosers who I really wanted to spend eternity with. Of course I'd know who'd choose me and who wouldn't choose me in the end(or who I would allow to choose me) -- but meh - I wouldn't really be a loving God if I didn't give them a choice now would I?wink

Marxman
How many times has this topic been made?

Mindship
Lord, don't get me started...

TRH
The one I made is in the index

lord xyz
Well, atleast this time they spelt "were" right.

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by FeceMan
Me? I'd rule with an iron fist. If someone pissed me off really badly, SMITE. If I was having a bad day, SMITE. If there were lots of blacks and Jews, SMITE.

Just like the god of the bible.

TRH
atleast

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

lol

TRH
Originally posted by FeceMan
Me? I'd rule with an iron fist. If someone pissed me off really badly, SMITE. If I was having a bad day, SMITE. If there were lots of blacks and Jews, SMITE. your a racist

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by FeceMan
Me? I'd rule with an iron fist. If someone pissed me off really badly, SMITE. If I was having a bad day, SMITE. If there were lots of blacks and Jews, SMITE.

See erm Thats why you would suck at the job.

Personally I would go looking for reasons. Come on I'd be GOD smiting would just be a relaxing passtime.

Lord Urizen
If I were God, I would eliminate suffering...Everyone would be immortal and happy....you could have whatever dreams you want...but they would be good, because hatred, pain, cruelty and evil would not even exist.


You would always be comfortable, always be happy, always have fun, and I would give free access to instant orgasm to anyone who desires it. big grin

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
If I were God, I would eliminate suffering...Everyone would be immortal and happy....you could have whatever dreams you want...but they would be good, because hatred, pain, cruelty and evil would not even exist.


You would always be comfortable, always be happy, always have fun, and I would give free access to instant orgasm to anyone who desires it. big grin

So you would just drive people insane?

guy222
Originally posted by TRH
If you where god what whould you do?

Guy is fair. I would be God who cares about all. Guy222 cool

Nellinator
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
See erm Thats why you would suck at the job.

Personally I would go looking for reasons. Come on I'd be GOD smiting would just be a relaxing passtime. He does have reasons. Black people = smitage. Reason? They are black. It's funny because TRH thinks he's serious.

TRH
Originally posted by Nellinator
He does have reasons. Black people = smitage. Reason? They are black. It's funny because TRH thinks he's serious. I know hes joking

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