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You see, I have this girlfriend. She is everything to me. But I always have a problem. Everytime I think about her I imiagine her cheating on me or being with other people and enjoying more than being with me. its almost like a habbit. I love her, but I cant help but imagine that she may be cheating on me or something and I dont know why. I know whe would never cheat on me, thats the thing. She would never do that.
So I was just wondering if anyone else feels the same way about their loved ones.
Do you get jealous like this, or is it just me?

I did. He broke up with me because he was sick of me not trusting him, even though that wasn't the issue. It was more that I didn't trust myself enough for him to love me. It was more complicated than that but it's basic.

My advice: Find the problem. Fix it.

And this is probably better suited to OTF

Uh...I think this is in the wrong forum...

Originally posted by =Mysta=-kILL
You see, I have this girlfriend. She is everything to me. But I always have a problem. Everytime I think about her I imiagine her cheating on me or being with other people and enjoying more than being with me. its almost like a habbit. I love her, but I cant help but imagine that she may be cheating on me or something and I dont know why. I know whe would never cheat on me, thats the thing. She would never do that.
So I was just wondering if anyone else feels the same way about their loved ones.
Do you get jealous like this, or is it just me?

Not especially - this is where a little chappy called trust comes into it. Now trust doesn't mean becoming a blind/deaf/dumb naive little child, but it does cover respect, respecting the person enough to think they are loyal to you, and that they are respecting you as well and not off jumping into beds and what not because the "she/he is everything to me" is a mutual thing..

From what I have seen very healthy relationships where neither partner is inclined to cheat can struggle with lack of trust. As for the ones not so stable...

Is it possible you don't trust yourself? That you are worried you might falter at some point, and that because you care so much yet don't trust yourself it is only logical if she cares as much she might not be completly loyal? Regardless it is something you must work on.

Originally posted by =Mysta=-kILL
You see, I have this girlfriend. She is everything to me. But I always have a problem. Everytime I think about her I imiagine her cheating on me or being with other people and enjoying more than being with me. its almost like a habbit. I love her, but I cant help but imagine that she may be cheating on me or something and I dont know why. I know whe would never cheat on me, thats the thing. She would never do that.
So I was just wondering if anyone else feels the same way about their loved ones.
Do you get jealous like this, or is it just me?

This is a classic example of insecurity. Either cherish the good things about yourself, change the bad, and accept the unchangeable or you'll lose the girl. Which will only add to your problems...

I concur.

If you don't trust her, how can you have a relationship. I don't actually, for the first time feel insecure about my boyfriend. I trust him more than I trust myself.

Originally posted by Ya Krunk'd Floo
This is a classic example of insecurity. Either cherish the good things about yourself, change the bad, and accept the unchangeable or you'll lose the girl. Which will only add to your problems...

I agree... this is not about her but about you. You feel insecure for some reason and you've got to find out what causes it. Your lack of trust can ruin the relationship.

That's interesting. Kinda like projecting to the other person what one might do or fear.

And I agree, being paranoid or being insecure will only cause damage to a relationship. Waiting for it to happen could cause it to happen.

Well, there is more to it. She has been best friends with this girl since she was about five. They go everywhere together and do everything together. But to get to the point, sometimes they do some lesbian things. Kissing, fingering, you know. And it really bothers me. At first it just kinda turned me on as it does to most guys, but it got to the point where I feel she has more fun with just her friend and not me.
I was out of town, but on new years, she got drunk with her friend and they did some things. And just the other day, they watched porn together. Lesbian porn! I feel like shes going to just forget about me and become lesbian or something.

You have to talk to her.

I would have a real problem with that.

if she is in the age 18-25 then she is guaranteed to cheat. WHY? thats the experimenting time, they wanna know how it feels to cheat, its all games. Signs of cheating. Going out without you often. Not answering your calls, or not returning your calls. She dresses too sexy when she's going out with her friends. If you want a girl who will not cheat on you, Go for 30 above. Those women are just ready to stick with you and to get stuck with you. Why? because they know hows it feel to betray and they know hows it feel to be betrayed. And they dont wanna go through the drama of the past.
I'm never wrong on this one.

Originally posted by =Mysta=-kILL
Well, there is more to it. She has been best friends with this girl since she was about five. They go everywhere together and do everything together. But to get to the point, sometimes they do some lesbian things. Kissing, fingering, you know. And it really bothers me. At first it just kinda turned me on as it does to most guys, but it got to the point where I feel she has more fun with just her friend and not me.
I was out of town, but on new years, she got drunk with her friend and they did some things. And just the other day, they watched porn together. Lesbian porn! I feel like shes going to just forget about me and become lesbian or something.

It might be possible that I am channeling some bygone era or something, but technically since you put it like that more then a few people in the world would consider "kissing, fingering" an act of cheating. You know, like if you went of and "made out" with some girl before doing some post making out fingering people might classify you as a cheater - the fact it is done between best friends doesn't really change that (unless you are one of those couples who is fine with that kind of thing.) I mean - say you had a good female friend, would your girlfriend accept you kissing her (as in real kissing?)

Because that is usually what cheating is conceived to be - doing sexual things outside of the whole "monogamous" relationship thing. I'd suggest you'd talk to her, because it doesn't sound quite as clear cut as your first post suggests (that is the whole "she'd never do anything like that" etc.)



Holy generalisation batman! And this from the guy who goes on about "brokebacks" and fantasises about Succubi - who'd have guessed you were so educated in the cheating habits of 18-25 year old girls/women.

For the record if she is aged between 18-25 she is no more guaranteed to cheat then anyone else. Cheating isn't linked to age. Some girls will cheat, others wont - it is a personality/choice thing, not a gender/age thing. As for the whole "30 above" thing one could point out the amount of men and women who cheat as they more towards middle age and the like, divorce and so forth. But you can't make blanket statements like "they are guaranteed to cheat. Why? They have grown bored with their mature lives and are trying to regain some sort of freedom, sense of youth, sexual exlporation etc.."

So I would say that you aren't right about it.

Originally posted by =Mysta=-kILL
Well, there is more to it. She has been best friends with this girl since she was about five. They go everywhere together and do everything together. But to get to the point, sometimes they do some lesbian things. Kissing, fingering, you know. And it really bothers me. At first it just kinda turned me on as it does to most guys, but it got to the point where I feel she has more fun with just her friend and not me.
I was out of town, but on new years, she got drunk with her friend and they did some things. And just the other day, they watched porn together. Lesbian porn! I feel like shes going to just forget about me and become lesbian or something.

Hahahaha...and this is a problem?

You need to show her how we men do things. Uh-huh. Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh.

yeah I felt that too, i think we just worry to much about the possiblites of what can happen, we broke up because we just started not to trust each other

its really makes you think just how to maintain a relationship though, doest it? make you wonder just why relationships fail. not that it would make one think to post in the 5 different threads on the topic

Originally posted by =Mysta=-kILL
You see, I have this girlfriend. She is everything to me. But I always have a problem. Everytime I think about her I imiagine her cheating on me or being with other people and enjoying more than being with me. its almost like a habbit. I love her, but I cant help but imagine that she may be cheating on me or something and I dont know why. I know whe would never cheat on me, thats the thing. She would never do that.
So I was just wondering if anyone else feels the same way about their loved ones.
Do you get jealous like this, or is it just me?

Are you under 20? If so, dump her. If not, let her dump you.

Originally posted by Ya Krunk'd Floo
Hahahaha...and this is a problem?

You need to show her how we men do things. Uh-huh. Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh.

Is that ''uh-huh'' the Emperor's New Groove type uh-huh? Cos that would be super!

You just want me for my body. I like! I very like!

Originally posted by =Mysta=-kILL
Well, there is more to it. She has been best friends with this girl since she was about five. They go everywhere together and do everything together. But to get to the point, sometimes they do some lesbian things. Kissing, fingering, you know. And it really bothers me. At first it just kinda turned me on as it does to most guys, but it got to the point where I feel she has more fun with just her friend and not me.
I was out of town, but on new years, she got drunk with her friend and they did some things. And just the other day, they watched porn together. Lesbian porn! I feel like shes going to just forget about me and become lesbian or something.


Bottom line is get out and get yourself a new chick........or chicks
dont tie yourself down
i guess your under 20...live a little
sample a bit

if i was your age and in your shoes personally id keep seeing this chick whilst doing my own shit until the lesbo lite stuff got old

Thanks for the advice guys. I've talked to her and we are doing good now. At first I was afraid to, but she understood me.

Talking solves a lot, usually.

Originally posted by =Mysta=-kILL
You see, I have this girlfriend. She is everything to me. But I always have a problem. Everytime I think about her I imiagine her cheating on me or being with other people and enjoying more than being with me. its almost like a habbit. I love her, but I cant help but imagine that she may be cheating on me or something and I dont know why. I know whe would never cheat on me, thats the thing. She would never do that.
So I was just wondering if anyone else feels the same way about their loved ones.
Do you get jealous like this, or is it just me?

Trust is everything. I finally met the right person. For me, trust and respect are the keys to a happy life and relationship. Good luck to u

And sex of course.

Don't forget the foreplay.

The what?

Originally posted by queeq
The what? Foreplay. ..................hahahahaha.......ya know like food.........great food........bouillabaisse.......

I don't know.........Am I off line here..??

Oh so dinner is foreplay!!!! Thanks for clearing that up... I always wondered what they meant by it.