Captain Maynard
Good ole Valentines day. The day where the couples all go out and fill the air with their naked stenches and pubic hairs. Where they walk around the streets basically groping eachtothers hineders and molesting eachother the first time they get alone. Romance, eh? They get to feel love and feel happyness that the homo's will never feel, because they morally can't. 'Cept the lesbians, they're good with God. Trust me, I've asked him. Well, i've asked Jesus, he said he loves 'em, I know I do (the ones that aren't family members....you know what, lets forget everything i've just said about lesbians...I feel ill.) Now, hold on, I like Valentines day as much as the next schmuck, I'm just ranting out of pure boredom. Okay, back to my rant. Don't inturrupt me again, a-hole. Where was I? Oh right, the lesbians...no...i have a new point...what was it. Oh yeah, the old days where you were forced to participate in valentines day, where you would have to write every single person in your class a valentines day card, what was that about? You got to make your own "Mailbox bags" and hang them from the front of your desk, then you go around and give everyone one, that was truely expressing the true nature of Valentines day...BY FORCE! Don't let the fat kid feel left out or the ugly girl or the smelly kid, give 'em all valentines card. Make them fatter with the candy, or make the ugly feel good about her self so she wont know the true nature of her uglyness...i mean this ***** was UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGly. And give the smelly kid the perfume'd valentine, nigga smells! *note* Not meant to mean that it was a black kid that smells....I said Nigga, not the N word. Morons. AAAAAAAAANNNYY who, remember what this day is all about, folks. Its about the love of giving gifts to your girl and/or payed for hooker. They don't come cheap, trust me. Especially on Valentines day. They have a special price for today, especially if you want sex. If you want to take them out just to dinner, then thats different; bascially you just pay for their dinner, and maybe another 100 bucks after for looking like a goddamend whore.
Now on to my next point, where did this whole idea of Valentines day come from? He was a Saint? What kind of religion has a holiday made up for the idea of exchanging gifts? *cough**cough* I mean, what religion has a holiday made up for the idea of giving gifts in the shape of a heart to other people. Have you ever seen a heart? They're gross. Cholesterol, lets just leave it at that. Unless that floats your boat and whatnot. Sicko's.
Awee, lovers are so adorable. With their shared STD's. Look at them kiss eachother, now they're pregnant, i hope you know. Thats what happens, you kiss a girl she's pregnant like that *snaps*. Thats the whole point of Valentines day, i've figured it out. Its not the gifts, or the cards, or the hearts, its a ploy by the child services of today. The Daycares, the Babies R' Us, the Hospitals. Its a day for a couple to try out sex without protection because of how special the day is..then BOOM, you got a baby on your hands, and boy howdy its an ugly baby. Now you have the ugly child in the class, and she'll give herself away on valentines day. What a vicious circle.
This is why I stay away from this Valentines day crap. I mean, i'm fighting bitches off with both hands. But I dont want a baby on my hands. Can you imagine that? My child? I'm sure he would be a pimp. The reason i dont say "Her" is because i've made sure that all my sperm are male. Don't ask me how...Okay, i'll tell you. You see, when i was born i had the option to be a human or a chick-pea. I chose human on the condition that whatever child i had it would be a he.
Well, thats my annual valentines day rant. Have a good one, Homies.
Ironically, the song "Love Hurts" by Nazareth just came on as I finished. Is that Irony? I'm not sure on the definition of things. Especially porno things.
Now on to my next point, where did this whole idea of Valentines day come from? He was a Saint? What kind of religion has a holiday made up for the idea of exchanging gifts? *cough**cough* I mean, what religion has a holiday made up for the idea of giving gifts in the shape of a heart to other people. Have you ever seen a heart? They're gross. Cholesterol, lets just leave it at that. Unless that floats your boat and whatnot. Sicko's.
Awee, lovers are so adorable. With their shared STD's. Look at them kiss eachother, now they're pregnant, i hope you know. Thats what happens, you kiss a girl she's pregnant like that *snaps*. Thats the whole point of Valentines day, i've figured it out. Its not the gifts, or the cards, or the hearts, its a ploy by the child services of today. The Daycares, the Babies R' Us, the Hospitals. Its a day for a couple to try out sex without protection because of how special the day is..then BOOM, you got a baby on your hands, and boy howdy its an ugly baby. Now you have the ugly child in the class, and she'll give herself away on valentines day. What a vicious circle.
This is why I stay away from this Valentines day crap. I mean, i'm fighting bitches off with both hands. But I dont want a baby on my hands. Can you imagine that? My child? I'm sure he would be a pimp. The reason i dont say "Her" is because i've made sure that all my sperm are male. Don't ask me how...Okay, i'll tell you. You see, when i was born i had the option to be a human or a chick-pea. I chose human on the condition that whatever child i had it would be a he.
Well, thats my annual valentines day rant. Have a good one, Homies.
Ironically, the song "Love Hurts" by Nazareth just came on as I finished. Is that Irony? I'm not sure on the definition of things. Especially porno things.
