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Not sure if it's the kind of town a person lives in, or it's a pneumonia that occurs simply because some folks are just controlling and bullish and feel that their view of importance should be yours, esp. with respect to your personal life, such as who you decide to date and marry.

So, do we really live in a free society? I know a guy who is so cool, he's originally from country-xyz and will soon marry via an arrangement done by women in his village, he recently turned down hundreds of pics and before he took the long journey there, expressed his sadness but out of respect for his religion, he is trying to "do the right thing". Seems sad to me, that a bunch of women would think they their view of beauty and class could somehow be important to another man's life, esp. marriage. I don't know if he comes from money, but if he does, I think it makes it all the worse for him. He's handling it pretty well, but I can tell he was sad about having to deal with the pressure of having to marry at a certain age, esp. with respect to a bunch of female requirements. I am female, and I have a brother that most women, of all races, find absolutely SEXY IT'S RIDICULOUS, but when he was going to marry and wanted my opinion, I learned from a long time ago (as I tried to set him up) that my taste in women, as a female, is different from his taste in women, and out of love for him, I respected his free will and didn't want to impose on it.

How far should women go to control another man's life? I've never heard or seen men do this to other men that much, only small instances but not as often as what I see from other females.

Do you feel your relationship is tried by the public or society (society is 3 or more people around you)?

I've had that happen to me, where I had others give looks or comments based on who I was dating, and I found that very instrusive and bullish, as I wouldn't impose on their life. I had one lady associate, who is very ignorant, nice but ignorant, make comments because I like a guy who is younger then me, and so, because she only knows that SMALL detail, she feeds on it and would make dumb comments about younger men being better. Howe stupid? So, if she knew me when I was 27, and I was dating a Jewish guy who was almost in his 50s, what would she say about me then? Very ignorant woman, nice, but ignorant, she takes small details and comes up with wrong distorted perceptions of my life, and to make it worse, she's a gossip.

I mean, who wants to pick a mate based on folks who will not be there for you when things go wrong? What can they say except, ops, and to make it worse, when cultures of women control who a man marries, guess how he tries to get back control of his life? quartazone/Prostitutes?Affairs/Geshias???

Can a man pick his own wife? That's what American is about, having a liberal culture so that people can have options. A free society.

People are going to say what people are going to say. Just do what you do.

Originally posted by Kinneary
People are going to say what people are going to say. Just do what you do.

But why do "people" tend to be really women? Or am I not seeing that men are the same way, if so, educate me, so far, I've mostly seen this played out in women, there is no way, I am going to impose my view on another woman UNLESS it's about a rival love, if not, I can care less, it's her life and his life, enjoy if you can!!! that's my philosophy, but if i am being too harsh on females, let me know.

Originally posted by Oncewhite
But why do "people" tend to be really women? Or am I not seeing that men are the same way, if so, educate me, so far, I've mostly seen this played out in women, there is no way, I am going to impose my view on another woman UNLESS it's about a rival love, if not, I can care less, it's her life and his life, enjoy if you can!!! that's my philosophy, but if i am being too harsh on females, let me know.


and why is it that married women complain about the MOTHER in law, never the FATHER in law, even men complain about the MOTHER in law, not the FATHER in law???? Why are women this controling? I've heard so many women say that they were put threw hell b/c the mother in law hated her. TEACH ME, because I feel like I am missing something.

what do you mean by "picking" a wife?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
what do you mean by "picking" a wife?

the male friend of mine is having his wife picked by the women from his village, he's not American. so, they are hand picking the ones they like, and he picks through the ones they approve of...i have no interest in this guy, by the way, he's just an associate, but man, that sucks for him and he has expessed it...so sad....

that is sad. the person you spend your life with should be your soulmate, the one who you choose to love.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
that is sad. the person you spend your life with should be your soulmate, the one who you choose to love.

I agree and I think this is an American concept, even though, certain parts of towns can make you wonder when you feel "EYES" on you when you are out with the opposite sex. I am convinced now, that marriage is about security and money and image..very rarely love or soul mate.

And like with my brother, I would have set him up on a date (not that he needed it) but NEVER pick a marriage partner for him, that's outrageous for my culture (American); but it may also have to do with personality, as I have to "sisters" and they nosey into his relationship as much as they can, one time suggesting he was cheating on his wife already, and I just rolled my eyes, for starters, it's none of our business (she may or may not love him anyway, who am I to find this out??); and I believe that a person can be a good sibling, but not a good spouse, a person can be a great sibling and may not be able to find a happy relationship with a SO. Just b/c someone has a great relationship with siblings doesn't mean they also make a great spouse, as these relationships change once SEX is involved, so I can't judge my brother as a husband, I can only judge him based on a sibling, and he may be a totally different man to his spouse... then I would image him based on our childhood. I don't believe they are inherently the same. Some people are great parents but lousy spouses, some are great spouses but ugly parents or siblings.

i wouldnt give a damn if i was from the smallest village in indonesia, i would never let my partner be chosen for me.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
i wouldnt give a damn if i was from the smallest village in indonesia, i would never let my partner be chosen for me. ]

ZOMG, spoken like a TRUE American, you say that, and I agree, but public opinion may be a bit more stronger then most may want to realize.

then i guess i am a true american.

Is this another lesbian thread?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
that is sad. the person you spend your life with should be your soulmate, the one who you choose to love.


You mean who you choose to be with, you cannot choose who you love, it happens on its own without your permission.

Not MORE of this arranged marriage bullshit. I dont give a damn what country/religion/ethnicity people are , you compromise by your current countries laws and if they damn well state no arrange marriages then NO arranged marriages.

This is the kind of shit which leads to brain-washing.

Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
Is this another lesbian thread?

uh?????????





i never knew there were laws against it??? uhm, interesting!!