Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

What type of things would Star Wars characters never say. Things that would be funny.

"those pirate movies are better than ours"

well-written lines

I'm Rick James b!tch!

HAN : Hey Leia how about letting Chewie **** you up the ******* whilst i stick my **** in your **** tonight you dirty ****ing *****
and if that aint enough action for you how about getting that fish faced mother****er Admiral Ackbar over to lick out your **** whilst i **** my big **** over Chewies ****

Han Solo to Vader on Cloud City: "You had me at hello."

Luke to Vader after the revelation : If you think you are getting a fathers day card you can go **** yourself!

Leia: No, its not like that. He's my brother.
Han: Can we still do that 3 way?

Vader: My Schwartz is bigger than yours.

Anakin in any situation. "I will do things for the greater good without protest"

Vader to the stormtroopers "Set phasers for stun"

Emperor: Beam me up, Ani.

Vader: could you repeat that?

the first time Han and Leia did the nasty -

Leia : Im all yours...ill do anything you want...anything
Han: Can you do that leg hug thing that the Ewok did on Endor ...that was NICE!

"This party's over"

Palpatine: "Fire at will, Commander!"

"It's impossible sir! I can'ne reach the controls."

Originally posted by Alliance
"This party's over"

If only....

Luke et al while winding down the night, sitting around a campfire after the battle of endor...

"I wonder if anybody a long time from now...in a galaxy far, far away...will hear about how we saved the universe? Hmmm..."

Luke, eyes closed, concentrating...

"Yes! I can see it! Our story will be told! I see...a marquee.......The Phantom Menace............What the #*%@ is that all about???!!!"

Ok, a different one.


"We, the proud residents of Dantooine, name this street in honour of our beloved guest Princess Leia, who along with her rebel friends destroyed the Death Star, defeated the Empire, and..."

Speaker is pulled aside by one his aides for a moment...then back to the mic...

"YOU F***ING B****!!!!"

What Star Wars Characters Would Never Say...


-Greedo: "I've been looking forward to this for a long time."

-Han Solo: "Yeah, I'll bet you have."

-ZAP!!!

-Han Solo (to himself): "Hmmm...That woulda been a lot cooler if Greedo shot first."

Last one...

What Star Wars Characters Would Never Say...


As Luke is flying down the Death Star trench towards the thermal exhaust port...

-Ben: "Luke...Don't use the Force."

-Roll credits

someone beat me to this! you will pay Bina...

Anakin: (to Obi-Wan before their fight) my saber should be rotoscoped to red.

Obi : You will go to the Dagobah System
Luke : Dude parts of me are that frozen right now i doubt i could "go" to the toilet

Luke: *to yoda holding the glow rod* give me the **** glow rod! you ****** of a kermit frog! *****!!

I could get an Oscar for this.

You're gonna need a bigger lightsabre.

OB1: I wish I had a blaster

Luke: I'm a whiner, like my father before me.

Nice

obi-Wan - I love flying.

Leia: aren't you alittle short for a storm trooper?
Luke: huh? OH! the uniform. I'm luke skywalker, and I'm here rescue you... but first... where's the bathroom?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Palpatine: POWER!!!! LIMITED POWER!!!!

Palpatine: "Everything that has transpired has done so according to George's design. It was Lucas who allowed the producers a marketing campaign through the Ewoks. They are quite safe from your pitiful little lawsuit. An entire legion of his best lawyers await them. Oh... I'm afraid the theater will be quite full, when your Pro-Original movie protesters arrive."

Han: Hyperspace ain't like making PT movies, George. You can fly into a star or bouce off a supernova and then this trip would be over very quickly. Unlike your endless CGI franchise.

Obi: OMG I wish I wasn't droidist.

Sidious: does this make me look fat?

Yoda: This is the first time I ever spoke straight...

you know what i have just remembered? we have a thread like this in the EU section...

Any Character: I've got a pretty good feeling about this.

Sidious: Is there still room to participate in Extreme Make-over?

Chewie: Hello...

Anakin: I hate you!
Obi-Wan: Why? Just because YOU'RE just not the only one who slept with your **** of a wife- I mean, You were my brother! I loved you!

Anakin: "I hate you!"

Obi-Wan: "Really?" *starts nudging Anakin toward lava*

Anakin: "Whoa, yo, hey! What are you doing?! I can't go into that stuff, I'm afraid of lava! I get seasick even watching it on Dante's Peak! Hey hey, look man, I'm sure we can talk this o--" *sizzle*

Anakin: It's because I hate you!
Padme: No, it's because I hate YOU!

EXCUSE THE LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL REFERANCES -


THREEPIO: Well, I'm not going that way. It's much too rocky. This way
is much easier.
What makes you think there are settlements over there?

Artoo continues to make beeping sounds.

THREEPIO: Don't get technical with me.

Artoo continues to make beeping sounds.

THREEPIO: What mission? What are you talking about? I've had just
about enough of you! Go that way! You'll be malfunctioning within a
day, you nearsighted scrap pile!

R2: right thats IT!!
**** this beeping and whistling shit!!...20 years ive put up with this crap...and I thought you were a wanker BEFORE you had your memory wiped...you are a TOTAL **** and dont think i havent seen you spying on me and touching yourself when i have an oil bath...GO **** YOURSELF YOU EFEMINATE WANKER.......**** OFF!!!!!!

SECOND TROOPER: Look, sir -- droids

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o60/cylob46/ANH_Screencap_01.jpg

FIRST TROOPER : im afraid thats a cock ring

SECOND TROOPER : EW!

is it ok to post pics and captions?

Lucas reveals major character from "more adult than PT" live action tv series
http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o60/cylob46/418639408_100b292e59.jpg

Han: Luke your lightsabre is sticking in my groin
Luke : Thats not my lightsabre!
http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o60/cylob46/338932199_db1d7847f0.jpg

Luke : Master Yoda your lightsabre is.........hang on a second this is familiar.........................EW!!!!
http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o60/cylob46/338937013_9b55009768.jpg

Yoda : Though the force things you will see...the future...the past
http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o60/cylob46/760px-Yodaandluke.jpg
Luke : WOAH scroll back a little!! did you say the future ?

Yoda : Yes did i...where going are you?
http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o60/cylob46/e5dego4.jpg
Luke : off to the bookies!!

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o60/cylob46/e5dego22.jpg
Obi Wan : Luke put 15000 credits for me on Sebulba at the Mos Espa Pod Race
Yoda: my big mouth and i

Originally posted by vintageSW77
SECOND TROOPER: Look, sir -- droids

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o60/cylob46/ANH_Screencap_01.jpg

FIRST TROOPER : im afraid thats a cock ring

SECOND TROOPER : EW!

Why do you start with "second trooper." Shouldn't the "first trooper" speak first?

its been a long weekend

That's another OT classic though...

yoda: OMG... a grammar lesson i need...

Indeed.

Mace Windu : I am the TRAITOR!

Sidious : No im the Traitor

Mace : IM THE TRAITOR GOD **** IT IM THE ONE WHO DIES REMEMBER?

Sidious : Im still a traitor you B!TCH!

Anakin : NOOOOO! *CUTS OFF MACE'S HAND * I HATE CONFRONTATION

Sidious : *zapps Mace*

Mace : *Groans* *flys out of window*

Sidious : *Stairs out of window* IM THE TRAITOR!

Anakin : *runs out of the building with hands over his ears*

Padme' : Anakin what happened?

Anakin : I cant take it anymore padme'! first the council was whinning about me being on the council then when i walked in the Chancellor's Building Mace and Palpatine were fighting and whinning about how they both were the traitors!

Padme' : *Slaps anakin* SERVES YOU RIGHT B!TCH IM TAKING THE KIDS AND LEAVING YOU WHINNING SONNOFABITCH

Oh?

That was weird...

Very.

Think he will do it again?

Prolly.

"I can't breath with this thing on!"Dark Hamlet

last post before Adarksidejedi was.. ahh..


whose Dark hamlet ADJ?

A type of spice?

it sounds like a shakespearean gone bad.

Darth Vader after killing Admiral Ozell to Capt Piet "Was that over the top"

Very creative.. not.

*Sidius hurls another senate chamber at Yoda and Yoda hurls it back and falls*

Yoda: "Poop myself, I did. Guacamole, it does resemble. Robe skid marks, I have again."

Originally posted by Versyn Gaul
Darth Vader after killing Admiral Ozell to Capt Piet "Was that over the top" Best one on this page.

You made G laugh.

He deserves an applaud for that.

"dis helmet is chafing my eyebrows...i swear!" -darth vader

I never even knew he still have eyebrows.

He did in the original versions. He shaved them for the SE.

...why?

Because they suddenly realised Anakin was burned once.

Uhmmmmmmm, he was well done, crispy like.

good point.

Yeah well...

Well what?

Queen Amidala: "I think my hair is a bit long now"

"Wait, don't you think this headdress is kind of big and unflattering?"

What part of it was real?

Originally posted by darthivader
Queen Amidala: "I think my hair is a bit long now"

"Wait, don't you think this headdress is kind of big and unflattering?"

G is shocked.

Confused is a better word for it...

Yoda: "Ms. Lohan, your failed singing career--tragic. Seeing you out of rehab, brings warm feelings to my heart."

Lindsey: "Do you have any idea who's behind this lack of interest in young, slutty emerging poptarts?"

Mace Windu: "Our intelligence reports to disgruntled Brittany fans from Middle America."

Lindsey: "I think Kelly Clarkson's behind this."

Ki-Adi Mundi: "She's an American Idol finalist, not a sell-out."

Mace Windu: "You know mi'lady, Kelly Clarkson won the first season, she couldn't endorse corporate America, it's not in her contract."

Yoda: "But for certain Ms. Lohan, in great danger, your profits are."

HAHAHA!


Grand Moff Tarkin : Lord Vader do you really think we should destroy Yavin

Vader : You're Lack of Faith is Refreshing

Vader: What is my last task, amster?

Sidious: Well...I really want some flowers...

Vader: chuckles inside his mask

Hm...

Yes?

Why do you two do this to every thread?

Do what?

Make a mess... well, because it's fun.

Originally posted by Tangible God
Why do you two do this to every thread?
2?

Yeah, 2, you leave for random periods of time.

I happen to be in an industrializing nation.

Does that hurt?

Ouch.

Not at all. its very cool.

Leia : You Scruffy Lookin Love Monster!

Han : HELLZ YEA!

CHEWY : *ROAR*

HAN : Dont worry chewy you can help me out.

Yuck... hair in the bed.

That will be annoying to get out.

Thats disturbing.

Why? You were there taping.

LOL!

That was... quite, not what i expected.

Luke: Hey check this out. (puts lightsaber near crotch and ignites) I'm getting horny.

quite expected now. so Luke was that desperate....

Anakin: Hey check this out. (puts lightsaber near crotch and ignites) I'm getting horny.

Was everyone that desperate? and crazy?

Vader (looking down at his costume)
"Does this come in pink?"

that was funny...

Lando Calrissian:
"Does this cape make me look gay?"

Originally posted by Jaeh_JediPirate
Was everyone that desperate? and crazy?

Yoda: Hey check this out you must. (puts lightsaber near crotch and ignites) Horny I am.

Originally posted by barand1
Vader (looking down at his costume)
"Does this come in pink?"



Originally posted by Jaeh_JediPirate
Was everyone that desperate? and crazy?

Like father like son.

even yoda has it. I give up on these 'un-laid' star wars chars.

lol!

Yoda : In grave Trouble you are use Viagra YOUUUU MUUST!

That would be pretty creepy coming from Yoda.

shock

Very creepy.

Indeed.

Yoda would be right to say that though. I mean, where's his lightsabre by the time Luke meets him?

Yoda: Use my lightsabre, I can not. Gone is its fire. No longer can it ignite. Impotent it has become.

Thanks for that I think...

You think...

Thats what I said.

Vader:*heavy breathing*"Once you go black, you never go back."

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Vader : Luke with our combined Strength we can Rape the Galaxy FATHER AND SON!

Ouch.

That's. uhm. ah.

Huh?

I can't think of anything. I don't even know what to say to that... er. post. above yours, that is. er... uhm.

I don't feel like i made any sense.

Leia: Hey check this out you must. (puts lightsaber near crotch and ignites) Horny I am.

Han: I knew it!!

Leia is talking like Yoda.

Leia : Ahhh govenor Tarkin i knew i smelled you're foul Hormones when i was brought on board

Is this the BAdly Dubbed Porn version of SW now?

Sure seems like it is going in that direction...

SW porn. where is our world getting to.

Clone porn 13

You wish.

Hey, they could still kick droid ass while having sex.

Uhmmm.... that's not a pretty pictures for non-clones.

"Hey, f@ggot, we're not gay...we're clones!"

(thank you to Clerks 2 for the inspiration)

There are Clerks 2, where have i been living.

Originally posted by Alliance
Hey, they could still kick droid ass while having sex.

No way, and as said above, that would make all you clones gay. Nice job.