Undeniable Proof Of God's Existence!

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Demon_sniper
Warning! this is not actuall proof, just a collection of obviously (at least in a logical way)wrong arguments "proving" god exists
have fun
. TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT

(1) God exists.
(2) If God exists, then if reason exists then God exists.
(3) Reason exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.


2. COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

(1) If I say something must have a cause, it has a cause.
(2) I say the universe must have a cause.
(3) Therefore, the universe has a cause.
(4) Therefore, God exists.


3. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I)

(1) I define God to be X.
(2) Since I can conceive of X, X must exist.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


4. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (II)

(1) God exists.
(2) Since God exists, God must be perfect.
(3) That which is perfect must exist.
(4) Therefore, God exists.


5. MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

(1) God exists.
(2) God, existing, is either necessary or unnecessary.
(3) God is not unnecessary, therefore God must be necessary.
(4) Therefore, God exists.


6. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

(1) Check out that tree. Isn't it pretty?
(2) Therefore, God exists.


7. ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES

(1) My aunt Helen was most likely to die from cancer.
(2) She didn't.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


8. MORAL ARGUMENT (I)

(1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest
of us.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


9. MORAL ARGUMENT (II)

(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling,
child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


10. ARGUMENT FROM CREATION

(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God
exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to
understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be
uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.


11. ARGUMENT FROM FEAR

(1) If there is no God then we're all going to die.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


12. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE

(1)
(2)
(3) Therefore, God exists.


13. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole
thing to you stupid atheists -- it's too complicated for you to
understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


14. ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE

(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys -- you're
obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say
can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and
you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God
so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world,
that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth" John
3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


15. ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF

(1) If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
(2) I believe in God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


16. ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION

(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.


17. PARENTAL ARGUMENT

(1) My mommy and daddy told me that God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


18. ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS

(1) Millions and millions of people believe in God.
(2) They can't all be wrong, can they?
(3) Therefore, God exists.


19. ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY

(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.


20. ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY

(1) God exists, you bastards!
(2) Therefore, God exists.


21. BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT

(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


22. DORE'S ARGUMENT

(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.


23. ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY

(1) Eric Clapton is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


24. ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY

(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


25. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY

(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.


26. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM

(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


27. MITCHELL'S ARGUMENT

(1) The Christian God exists.
(2) Therefore, all worldviews which don't assume the Christian God's existence are false and incomprehensible.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


28. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (I)

(1) Atheists are spiritually blind.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


29. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)

(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Ray Charles is blind.
(4) Therefore, Ray Charles is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.


30. ARGUMENT FROM FALLIBILITY

(1) Human reasoning is inherently flawed.
(2) Therefore, there is no reasonable way to challenge a proposition.
(3) I propose that God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.


31. ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS

(1) God exists.
(2) I don't give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better things to do than to try to convince you morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


32. ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS

(1) **** you.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


33. ARGUMENT FROM MANIFESTATIONS

(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an image of a bearded face in that tortilla.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


34. SLATHER'S ARGUMENT

(1) My toaster is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


35. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPLETE DEVASTATION

(1) A plane crashed killing 143 passengers and crew.
(2) But one child survived with only third-degree burns.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


36. ARGUMENT FROM POSSIBLE WORLDS

(1) If things had been different, then things would be different.
(2) That would be bad.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


37. ARGUMENT FROM SHEER WILL

(1) I DO believe in God! I DO believe in God! I do I do I do I DO believe in God!
(2) Therefore, God exists.


38. ARGUMENT FROM NONBELIEF

(1) The majority of the world's population are nonbelievers in Christianity.
(2) This is just what Satan intended.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


39. ARGUMENT FROM POST-DEATH EXPERIENCE

(1) Person X died an atheist.
(2) He now realizes his mistake.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


40. ARGUMENT FROM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL

(1) God loves you.
(2) How could you be so heartless to not believe in him?
(3) Therefore, God exists.


41. ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE

(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?
(2) That's how infinite wisdom reveals itself.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


42. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (I)

(1) The human spirit exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


43. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (II)

(1) Check out this video segment.
(2) Now how can anyone watch that and NOT believe in God?
(3) Therefore, God exists.


44. CALVINISTIC ARGUMENT

(1) If God exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever.
(2) I rather like that idea.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


45. ARGUMENT FROM CROCKERY (I)

(1) Pots don't go around giving orders to the potter.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


46. ARGUMENT FROM MASS PRODUCTION

(1) Barbie dolls were created.
(2) If Barbie dolls were created, then so were trees.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


47. ARGUMENT FROM PAROCHIALISM

(1) God is everywhere.
(2) We haven't been everywhere to prove he's not there.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


48. ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION

(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists.


49. ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS

(1) Ask atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, God exists.


50. ARGUMENT FROM INCREDULITY

(1) How could God NOT exist, you bozo?
(2) Therefore, God exists.


51. ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY

(1) The Bible is true.
(2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


52. ARGUMENT FROM RESURRECTION

(1) Proof of God's existence will be available when you rise bodily from your grave.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


53. ARGUMENT FROM BIOGENESIS

(1) Where did Adam come from, dummy?
(2) Therefore, God exists.


54. ARGUMENT FROM STEADFAST FAITH

(1) A lot of really cool people believed in God their entire lives.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


55. ARGUMENT FROM LONELINESS

(1) Christians say that Jesus is their best friend.
(2) I'm lonely, and I want a best friend.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


56. ARGUMENT FROM ARGUMENTATION

(1) God exists.
(2)
(3) Yes he does.
(4)
(5) Yes he does!
(6)
(7) YES HE DOES!!!
(8)
(9) Therefore, God exists.


i will post a few later, remember, no offense meant for anyone, i just want to make you laugh smile
p.s. i did not made this arguments, they cn be found in myweb.cableone.net/silentdave/tge1.htm

Alliance
Yes...and since you have not made them yourself and they have been posted here before by someone you don't really want to associate with imo, tis thread should be closed.

Blaxican
What's funny is that half the time it's the other way around.

(1) God doesn't exist.
(2)
(3) no he doesn't.
(4)
(5) no he doesn't, f*cker!
(6)
(7) NO HE F*CKING DOESN'T YOU SHEEP!!!
(8)
(9) Damn right.

Demon_sniper
oh, sorry if the thread is repeated, i didn't know

Nellinator
laughing at 16. Which is where I stopped out of boredom. Didn't ESB post this stuff already? Only way more?

TRH
lol

Capt_Fantastic
Originally posted by Blaxican
What's funny is that half the time it's the other way around.

(1) God doesn't exist.
(2)
(3) no he doesn't.
(4)
(5) no he doesn't, f*cker!
(6)
(7) NO HE F*CKING DOESN'T YOU SHEEP!!!
(8)
(9) Damn right.

It's never that simple.

AngryManatee
wait so was the initial post a joke or something? I hope so...

Capt_Fantastic
Originally posted by AngryManatee
wait so was the initial post a joke or something? I hope so...

No, it wasn't a joke.

Blaxican
Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
It's never that simple.

Like wise.

Symmetric Chaos
Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
It's never that simple.

Nope, but if you reduce each argument to what they really mean it is far more simple.

Atheist: There is no god
Theist: Yes there is
Atheist: No there isn't
Theist: Yes there is

or

Theist: You should believe in god
Atheist: I won't, because god doesn't exist
Theist: God does exist
Atheist: No it doesn't
Theist: Yes he does

All discussions about God between hardcore Atheist and harcore Theist come down to the exact same idiotic arguments.

Capt_Fantastic
Originally posted by Blaxican
Like wise.

Like wise what?


Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
Nope, but if you reduce each argument to what they really mean it is far more simple.

But how often does that happen?

Blaxican
Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic


But how often does that happen?

Quite often.

Capt_Fantastic
Originally posted by Blaxican
Quite often.

I've never seen an argument between atheist and theist that isn't more in-depth than your example.

FeceMan
I'm glad I don't make those kind of arguments.

Also, atheists make arguments analogous to those.

The big EH
wow typing it all out was a complete waste of time, nobody knows if gods exists, it's completely unprovable, neither is the big bang, but it's more likely that big bang was wat happenned, although it has it's flaws, all theories have flaws, and i hope you know that pretty much the whole bible is a colaberations of fictional stories, (sorry if it jumps all over)

Demon_sniper
Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
No, it wasn't a joke.

actually dude, it's pretty obvious the first post is a joke, it says so right there

FeceMan
Actually, I lied.

That's pretty much where I'm at.

Nellinator
Aren't you almost purely 32 by now?

Alliance
imo.

Nellinator
44. CALVINISTIC ARGUMENT

(1) If God exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever.
(2) I rather like that idea.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

48. ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION

(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

Both of these get laughing

chithappens
Originally posted by TRH
lol

That is what is known as paraphrasing rolling on floor laughing

Lord Urizen
laughing

Atlantis001
I think the "argument" that is most used by people is something like:

(1) People told me that God exist.
(2) Therefore God exists.

lil bitchiness
43. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (II)

(1) Check out this video segment.
(2) Now how can anyone watch that and NOT believe in God?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

Hah!

inamilist
Originally posted by The big EH
wow typing it all out was a complete waste of time, nobody knows if gods exists, it's completely unprovable, neither is the big bang, but it's more likely that big bang was wat happenned, although it has it's flaws, all theories have flaws, and i hope you know that pretty much the whole bible is a colaberations of fictional stories, (sorry if it jumps all over)

just as a point of correction

The big bang is as proven as any scientific theory. It isn't still up in the air.

There are "holes" in it, but I think it is reasonable that humans cannot explain every single happening in 10+ billion years. "holes" just mean "new areas of research"

lord xyz
Originally posted by The big EH
wow typing it all out was a complete waste of time, nobody knows if gods exists, it's completely unprovable, neither is the big bang, but it's more likely that big bang was wat happenned, although it has it's flaws, all theories have flaws, and i hope you know that pretty much the whole bible is a colaberations of fictional stories, (sorry if it jumps all over) Nobody knows if God exists, so why bother basing your life on it?

lord xyz
One I made up which I learnt from a member on here.

57.

ARGUMENT FROM BASELESSNESS

1) Someone you thought was evil said God doesn't exist.
2) Someone you thought was good said God does exist.
3) Therefore, God exists.

JesusIsAlive

Goddess Kali
Evolution does not claim that Life came from non living matter... roll eyes (sarcastic)


Life comes from other Life

lancethebrave
to counter that life does not come from non life, evolution is life from other life, and also... consciousness doesn't just come from nothing, so doesn't that make god an impossibility as well?

lord xyz
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
43. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (II)

(1) Check out this video segment.
(2) Now how can anyone watch that and NOT believe in God?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

Hah! Yeah, I get that a lot. But they use the whole "beatufil baby" thing.

JacopeX
Originally posted by Burnt Pancakes
What's funny is that half the time it's the other way around.

(1) God doesn't exist.
(2)
(3) no he doesn't.
(4)
(5) no he doesn't, f*cker!
(6)
(7) NO HE F*CKING DOESN'T YOU SHEEP!!!
(8)
(9) Damn right. Yea, pretty much how I see All Atheist for some reason.

debbiejo
Creation comes from creations. Just as the creation of thought comes into action and solids. Doesn't take a god to do it unless you count yourself as part of it, if so, then yes god exists.

lord xyz
Originally posted by JacopeX
Yea, pretty much how I see All Atheist for some reason. You're mistaken, I see it as:

1. God exists because (reason)
2. counter argument
3. counter counter argument about stuff atheist didn't mention
4. counter counter counter argument covering everything on the subject
5. God doesn't exist because (another reason)
(and repeat)

Demon_sniper

Strangelove
While funny, every single one of these suck.

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