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Figured I'd start some stupid topics because Ush is getting bored with the current batch..

What if you found an alien in the woods? And you can't run away...ya wuss

hope that I brought my camera with me

wake up

*best To voice*
ask if he has booze

Try to Calm the Alien down after it had met Yerss doing his To impressions.

and then robbing it?

How many tentacles does this alien have?

And a big hug for Dim!

Lets say its got 9 tentecles and 1 leg...


taking a pic won't prove anything...you should probably get a dna sample

what if that alien isn't based on earthly science and therefor doesn't have a dna?

I'd do it

I'd hide behind my cushion of course!

do what?

The alien perhaps?..........Eeeeeeuw!

bleurgh! that was something I didn't want to know!

Texas, international man of alienhumping ...
*shudders*

depends how the alien looks

A good point, well put mah.

so, actually, it's YOUR job, mah?

for example, she could be like from naboo *cough*padme*cough*

no, that would be MY job then

chicks dig aliens

Nine tentacles and one leg probably puts it in the ugly bracket.

Well, that'll be up there with Bjork - Tex all yours mate.

I'll need to know if the alien is dead or alive. Dead, no problem...I'd just run away screaming. Alive, I'd grab Mech's pillow first, then run away screaming.

Noooo..you can't run away..you have to do something about/to/with it... Besides..if you ran away it would just follow you home and stare at you through the window.

Sounds like my ex boyfriend, in that case...I'd poke it with a stick, if it moved...depends on how it looked and how I felt....I mean, nine tentacles, one leg, could be intriguing.....hehehe

How big are its eyes, Dim?

Then again, nine tentacles....I'd be confused....I am partially blonde afterall

Depends whether they are warm, soft tentacls or horrible squidgy ones.

well that plays a huge factor! I don't want something cold touching me, it's bad enough when someone takes a can of soda that is ice cold and sticks it on my arm....if only people could see me jump....I'd make the Olympic team

They could be sticky as well. You know what these aliens are like!

well....nevermind....that would be very bad.....

Ok, Dim- tentacle consistency seems to be a major factor here!

well, continuing on, if it even remotely resembeled someone that I hate, and it was not a very good time of the month....I'd probably nag it to the point where it commited suicide

And if it was someone you liked and it was that time? Do you merely nag them until they gnaw their own legs off?

No, I wait till they gnaw off their arm...nah if it's someone I like and that time of the month, I usually warn them like, "Don't say anything or make me think you are hiding something today and for the next few days....if you do, I have pre-warned you."

OKay, lets say for the sake of arguement that the tenticals feel like soft suade....would that make it more attractive to you guys?

Well, I think the one leg has already sent ME running...

So noted Padme- I hope I qualify for warnings if necessary!

don't worry you do Ush....they're soft....hmm, could be fun.....sounds like a really bad joke, "If walked out in the woods one night, saw an alien lying on the ground with soft tentacles and one leg, would you do it?"

It would have to have a good punchline...

That's why its a bad joke.....

And your answer would be? TO get it back to Dim's basic idea...

I'd try to get drunk with the alien. Then hopefully it will start to talk to me about life and space travel and such.

Then, when it finally passed out, I'd leave it a glass of water to cure it's hangover when it woke up. But I'd be long gone. . . probably to another bar.

Good move To, nothing like getting drunk with someone/something you don't know to break the ice.

I think To has the right idea.

he has one way to solve all the world problems

hehe that's a way idd mah, not my favorite but it's a way

getting back to Dim's original idea, I'd probably attempt to make some sort of contact...probably not the same way as To but it would work

how would you attempt to get in contact with this alien?

I'd mime.....theatre people don't talk, we know....but then again.....

mime? could work..

See, tentacle mime would be VERY different...

shhh, don't tell anyone.....hehe

Hey! Have you been taught tentacle mime already? Cheater!

well theatre....you learn a lot of things

That's certainly a well-rounded curriculum...

well you know....screwing stools....flats....putting together beds and testing them.....being on stage crew....sometimes is bad

testing beds..I think ToMacco mentioned that as his dream-job

hmm..tentacled version for breakdancing?

*does a flair*
*stands up*
*falls down*

well could be interesting....

Lets go back to the testing beds thingy.

I'd get on my cell phone and call the forest ranger. Tell him to put a sign up. WARNING: WATCH WHERE YOU STEP. ALIEN GOO.

well you know, we built a bed for a parody of the princess and the pea called, "Once Upon A Mattress" and it was twenty mattress high, 19 of them were wood...one real. A friend came up to me one day and said, "So, twenty mattress, they won't notice if one's missing." Later on, he was looking at a card in this box (A trivia part in the play and he was the gamemaster) and I had written on it, "Name the place and time" and when he looked back at me, I smiled and blew a kiss to him. He almost fainted during the performance....then when we got off stage the stage manager was like, "What was that?" and we smiled and said, "We need to test a bed" We were joking around but it was good when you saw the expression she gave

wow am I lost......

It's called flirting.

Padme has a playful streak...

the whole theater gang seems to have

and they thought the band gang was bad at band camp....mwhahaha, anyway back to the original idea.

What do you think you would try to say to the alien, other than To's answer which might be, "So, are you paying for the beer or am I?"

I'd be all "so...nice weather eh?"

how do you know he speaks english...would I have to teach you tentacle mime

Is the Alien Female?

good point. yes, I think you have to teach me that

tentacle mime should be in your veins Mah

no, but PadmeS could always teach me

wink wink, nudge nudge

hehe nice one mah

I think she would eat him alive. He wouldn't know what had hit him, the lucky fool.

I can't believe I just read this whole thread. Whoop...there goes 2 more IQ points.

(just so I don't leave myself open, yes I'm still above 130.)

Anyway, what the heck would you do with the other 5 tentacles? There really is no place to put them. The Kama Sutra wasn't meant for this.

That's getting very Japanese...

I'm up for getting the alien drunk with To, that would be a hoot.

it's just like a hentai anime

not the anime again...*sigh*

well with tentacle mime, we could figure out how rewrite karama sutra.....or we could get it drunk with To, then leave the two in the woods with a video camera and run around making a lot of noise....that ladies and gentlemen was how the blair witch project was made, but ours would be better because there would be a drunk, tentacled alien...

in the blair witch they got at least SOME pointers

well...we don't them

wit hthat we can make lots of money!
I claim the idea! I get 90%

what? I don't think so!

ok! ok!... 95% for me because you insist

try 15 at the most for you, and 85 for me.....

15 million for me and 85 cents for you? surely you deserve better!

how about 85 billion for me, and like 15/100 of a cent for you.

nah, bad idea

why?

because that would mean you would earn more money then me! that's unthinkable!

It needs a girl.

why is it unthinkable?

Simple human need to have money...

I've decided I don't like Dim's woods.


*runs away*

Hmph fine...maybe my woods don't want you anyway!

Too many nasty aliens....my clown gun has proved ineffective against them. Looks like Mech's pillow is the only thing that works.

*waits for finti's remark*

Ok, I'd make friends with it.

wake up???

*patiently awaits fintis reply*

how would you make friends with it Ush?

Dunno. Cuddle it? Offer it a pringle?

Let;s say you and I make friends with it together, hmm?

You're talking about offering PadmeS to the alien in return for friendship, that's a little sick, but I like the idea all the same.

Hey, I am sure Padme and myself could work out something we were both happy with!

I'm sure you could

Good! Then we will!

No one is offering me to a nine-tentacled alien with one leg....we could offer him Yerssot? or how about To?

you want to be FRIENDS with the alien, right?
bad idea offering me

hehe, bad idea??????
well the alien might get some sens in u

I highly doubt it! no one has done it before

That is very true. Nothing can get through Yerssot's thick skull.

*sees alien*

*takes cover under a pile of Mech's pillows*

Look no-one HAS to be offered to it. We could just sing songs and what-not.

how many pillows does mech have??

We could give the alien one of those crappy...er...joyful Disney Sing-a-long videos.

I'm not sure. I cloned the pillow.

so you have such a video huh?

From the Dark Ages, when I was 3.

Oh yeah....I remember those things...I think I have one from like when I was 2 roaming around the garage.....somewhere....deep in the terror known as my garage

where plants rule and dangerous animals eat trespassers

Ok, we can keep the alien in your garage then, Padme.

I don't think I'd want to be that cruel to the alien....those plants like their space, and the animals....well my arm will never be the same

Ah... I thought it might be very much like the alien's home!

yeah where the six-toed, flesh-eating, half-dead, gopher cat likes to get you when you least expect it

Oh, yikes...

yep yep

I have a friend with a man-eating cat, actually.

interesting

It's very clever as well, because it starts to eat you just when you think it has become docile.

I see

That's an interesting cat Ush...

*powers up minigun*

No no no...no killing cats. You can kill the alien...but no cats.

*kills alien, puts cat in a limitless void...er, cage*

I have 2 cats myself.

When I first heard the term 'man-eating cat' i pictured some bloke sat at a table with a napkin tucked into his shirt collar, using a steak knife to cut into the cat on his plate - is this normal, is this what everyone else thought?

yeah, pretty much

LOL corran

picture! picture! picture!

do you really want a pic yerssot?

That would be "Man eating cat." This is "Man-eating cat."

Any, other questions?

not at the moment, I think yerssot has one though

Too bad he's not here to ask it.

yep yep

Yep yep yep.

his loss I suppose

you asked for it..can't blame me...i'm innocent!!

COOKING YOUR CAT
Now you are ready to cook! One USENET account recommends placing a cat in a very high powered magnetron microwave. This device supposedly can cook a cat in approximately 10 minutes- the proteins are denatured (cooked), and sugars caramelized by microwave heating. The cat may be "cooked" but will it taste good? If you've ever tried to microwave a raw hamburger, you'll know the answer is "no." For the best taste, our reader inquired about possibly slow cooking a feline. That's exactly what we at PWEETA recommend- a slow cooked Beer Roasted Cat. Other cat recipes you may enjoy are classic Cat Tamales, Cat in Spicy Ginger Sauce, and Cat Au Gratin.

BEER ROASTED CAT
1 cat cut into roast
1 can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup
1 cube of beef bouillon
1 clove of garlic
1 Fine Irish Stout, like Guinness

Cover and soak cat roast in salt water for 24 hours. Drain water and then cover and soak in beer for 6 hours. Drain and place in crock pot with your cans of soup. Add a clove of garlic, and a cube of beef bouillon. If you start to slow cook your cat in the morning with your George Foreman Cooker (or it's ilk), you'll have finely cooked feline in time for supper.

If a slow cooker is not available, a cat can be baked at 350 degrees for 2-3 hours in a conventional oven and still come out pretty good. Beer Roasted Cat is fantastic served with mashed potatoes, collard greens, and fresh, homemade egg rolls. When planning a full meal just remember- cat is a course best served hot!

Cat may not be the most glamorous, or tastiest of game meats, but with a little thought and preparation, Baked Cat can make the belly of the persnicketiest diner glow with home baked goodness

The Masters of Meat - PWEETA

Mexican Cuisine?

Preparation Methods

Off topic and over 100. Closing.