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I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I can't believe today actually came. I've waited months and months, I've read article upon article, I got every little bit of information I could and crammed it into my brain. Now, the day has arrived and I am only metres away from the video game store. I've had my copy on pre-order for 2 months just so I could definitely grab my hands on a copy; I wasn't going to leave it up to chance.

I'm in. I run up to the nearest clerk, my mind too frazzled on the prize that await I could only speak a couple of words. “Pokémon...pre-order...I have!!” I blurted out trying to catch my breath. “You have a pre-order on Pokémon Purple?” the clerk asked trying to make sense of what I said. “Yes!” I shouted. What's your name?” the clerk asked. “My name is...” I paused, looked at the two, slightly chubby, blondes with the thick framed glasses and exclaimed “MICHAEL BARKER!”. The girls looked at me weird. Looks like no BJ's for ol' Michael today, oh well. “Ah yes, Michael Barker...and here's your copy.”. I slammed the correct change on the counter, ripped off my own receipt and headed straight out the door.

Running, running ever so fast. “Thank God I do track!” I thought as I zipped through the mall and through the suburbs of Utah. As I ran all I could think about was Pokémon. 100 new Pokémon, 10 additional evolutions to existing Pokémon and of course, the best ever feature for a Pokémon game, Internet play. Yes, finally I could not only challenge those at conventions, mall gatherings or at school but now, the world. The world would know my name as the ultimate Pokémon master, none would win against me and my carefully chosen, expertly trained Pokémon. Everybody from America to Japan, from Finland to Australia would know the name, Michael Barker. In preparation I replayed all my version. If my Pokémon were to be fit and ready, their master had to be as well.

I was home. I fumbled with the keys, jamming the correct one into the keyhole. I tossed my schoolbag on the floor and ran upstairs. I searched for my Gameboy which I remembering leaving on my desk. I grabbed it and tossed it onto the bed. I picked at the seal on the cardboard packaging of my newly acquired game. I tossed the packaging aside and slid the cartridge into my sliver Nintendo DS and flicked the power on.

I watched the opening sequence; I was satisfied. It seems like I was in for an amazing game, or so I thought. I played through the beginning, going through the usual. Meeting the rival, meeting the professor, acquiring my starter Pokémon (I chose an Aquaroo; it's a water type) and I played for a full hour getting up to the first badge gym. Then it hit me, hit me like a level one hundred Blastoise using hydro pump on a level five Sandshrew. My jaw dropped slightly in absolute shock.

.... and then?? shock

Update coming at the end of the week. sly

Thats totally Barker. crylaugh

crylaugh crylaughcrylaugh

“Thank God I do track!”
haermm

How ghey. vin

Aquaroo, what a n00b. http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/3482/electrodenormalspriteey0.gif

It's the weekend, update already, etc. haermmjockey

aquaroo can suck my balls. I choose leafoplatypus any day.

I was mortified. I assumed it was just a one of, then maybe a couple, or maybe just the ones in this area, but it came to be too much of a coincidence. The designs of all these Pokémon were crap, not a good one in sight. Why didn't notice it earlier? Was I so blinded by the excitement of a new Pokémon game that I failed to realise this game failed as much as the Chargers? Whatever it was I shut off my Gameboy DS abruptly. I was angry. I haven't been this upset since Adriana Lima rejected my surprise marriage proposal and acquired a restraining order on me. What as I do to? A thought sprang into mind. I knew where I could voice myself, the one place where, and maybe, if they cared, help with this problem. I opened up my wed browser and got onto KMC; Killer Movies Community.

I headed straight for the video games forum rapidly scrolling and clicking. I opened up a new thread expressing my disgust and wondered if others felt the same or if they could shed some light on the issue. “ Sweetie Pie, Michael, dinner's ready!” mom shouted from the bottom of the staircase. “I'm coming faster than Mist, mom” I said wittingly to which mom replied “Who's that?”. I realised mom didn't know who that was and I just ignored her question. “I'll save that insult for online” I thought scheming “but now, it's time to get my grub on!”.

I finished my dinner and quickly proceeded back to my room. I refreshed the browser to see five replies.

“i dunt playz pokémon, l01. haermm” replied a smirking Thörin

“wats a pokéymoon? 131wank” Skeets said sarcastically

“r0oflz li3k doos ppl liekz me?!?!1” FUZE_LOVER randomly commented

“I thought you were too busy tracking it out in Utah! jockey” Röland noted dully.

I wasn't getting anywhere with these comments. None of my peers thought this was serious. I then scrolled down to the bottom of the page. Finally, a serious and insightful comment!

“Yeah, I hated those graphics. Who do they think they're f*cking kidding?! I'm seriously thinking of going to Japan and teach those sushi eating, eating wearing, hentai loving cocks a lesson!”

An idea sprung into my head. It was as if a light bulb on top of my head was switched on. Calling up Nintendo Japan or posting about it on a forum wouldn't get my complainant rectified I would have to visit them myself! This poster, this significant person, would accompany me on my journey. I checked the left side of the screen to see the username. It consisted of five letters and one number. This name, Kram3r.

Originally posted by Kram3r
I was mortified. I assumed it was just a one of, then maybe a couple, or maybe just the ones in this area, but it came to be too much of a coincidence. The designs of all these Pokémon were crap, not a good one in sight. Why didn't notice it earlier? Was I so blinded by the excitement of a new Pokémon game that I failed to realise this game failed as much as the Chargers? Whatever it was I shut off my Gameboy DS abruptly. I was angry. I haven't been this upset since Adriana Lima rejected my surprise marriage proposal and acquired a restraining order on me. What as I do to? A thought sprang into mind. I knew where I could voice myself, the one place where, and maybe, if they cared, help with this problem. I opened up my wed browser and got onto KMC; Killer Movies Community.

I headed straight for the video games forum rapidly scrolling and clicking. I opened up a new thread expressing my disgust and wondered if others felt the same or if they could shed some light on the issue. “ Sweetie Pie, Michael, dinner's ready!” mom shouted from the bottom of the staircase. “I'm coming faster than Mist, mom” I said wittingly to which mom replied “Who's that?”. I realised mom didn't know who that was and I just ignored her question. “I'll save that insult for online” I thought scheming “but now, it's time to get my grub on!”.

I finished my dinner and quickly proceeded back to my room. I refreshed the browser to see five replies.

“i dunt playz pokémon, l01. haermm” replied a smirking Thörin

“wats a pokéymoon? 131wank” Skeets said sarcastically

“r0oflz li3k doos ppl liekz me?!?!1” FUZE_LOVER randomly commented

“I thought you were too busy tracking it out in Utah! jockey” Röland noted dully.

I wasn't getting anywhere with these comments. None of my peers thought this was serious. I then scrolled down to the bottom of the page. Finally, a serious and insightful comment!

“Yeah, I hated those graphics. Who do they think they're f*cking kidding?! I'm seriously thinking of going to Japan and teach those sushi eating, eating wearing, hentai loving cocks a lesson!”

An idea sprung into my head. It was as if a light bulb on top of my head was switched on. Calling up Nintendo Japan or posting about it on a forum wouldn't get my complainant rectified I would have to visit them myself! This poster, this significant person, would accompany me on my journey. I checked the left side of the screen to see the username. It consisted of five letters and one number. This name, Kram3r.

lulz. i agree though, chip-and-fish is crap.

haermmcrylaughcrylaugh

Kram3r is da bestestz. crylaugh haermm hysterical

HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE IT

I made an appearance. jockey

I wanked ....13

I didnt come as fast as Barker 13

Update? herbtouched

Originally posted by Mišt
I didnt come as fast as Barker 13
13roll

With Kram3r's reply I was only assuming that his anger and disgust for the new Pokémon Purple was the same as mine. I needed support though, support like the support bra I saw Adriana Lima wear in February's catalogue of Victoria Secret, for which I have a monthly subscription to under the name, Derek Rolandman. And, if Kram3r was as good as a debater as I've seen him debate he could prove vital to getting the Pokémon re-designed.

How was I to contact him though? Kram3r had posted shortly after that stating he would be leaving KMC for the week because he was modelling for Playgirl magazine around Australia therefore any chance of contact via PM or MSN was worthless. So, quick on my wit I decided that I should call him. He needed to know about my plan ASAP. This trip had to be organised as quickly and precise as possible, I had to get the current version of Pokémon Purple off the shelves before it was too late. I used my Pokédex (aka internet) to track down Kram3r's mobile. It was late here in Utah though and I was sleepy, I needed my energy for track and doing my Diedrich Bader impressions at school. I went to bed with my life size Pikachu plush rest assured that tomorrow I would call Kram3r with what I had installed.

I had returned home from an exhausting day of procrastinating but more willingly than ever to get hold of Kram3r. So, with a bunch of codes and his mobile number I grabbed to cordless home phone and punched in the numbers. It rang. I was a little nervous, because I wouldn't know how he would feel that I randomly got his number and just called him out of the blue without notification. “Hello...” seductively whispered a woman's voice. “Eeer...is Damien there?” I answered quite confused. “Yeah, he is, I'll wake him for you.” she replied. “Ugh, hello?!” an awakening Kram3r replied. “Hi Kram3r, this is um, Barker, you know, from KMC?” I said nervously. “What the f*ck? Do you know what time it is?” Kram3r angrily yet confusingly replied. “Um, 4:00PM?” I said looking at my watch. “I'm talkin' about Australia.” Damien sternly said. “Oh shit!” I thought, “I forgot about the time difference!”. “Hahaha, oh crap, sorry buddy, I forgot! I call you at a more appropriate time.” I said, laughing nervously. “Well, you woke me from my slumber with 3 beautiful babes mate so you might as well tell me what you what.” Damien answered back. “Well...” I thought, “It's now or never”. “Yeah I read your reply in my thread and I have an idea to solve this Pokémon problem...” I said, pacing myself. “No... no man, shit, no man, I believe you'd get your ass kicked saying something like that man.” Kram3r said refusing. “What? Why?” I said confused. “I'm next to all these babes, you can't mention the P word now, call me on Monday” Kram3r said in a low rapid whisper “I gotta go, bye!”.

I would now have to wait longer to divulge my plan. Nevertheless at least Damien was aware of it, he knew something had to be done. However, would he take my plan if open arms or had he his own plan? Or did he want to do anything about it at all?! I didn't know. All I knew was that come Monday, our plans would be discussed. Pokémon shall be avenged!

Derek Rolandman? crylaugh

crylaugh

Diedrich Bader impressions at school....crylaugh

3 beautiful babes..crylaugh

Obi Gay Mistobi..crylaugh

Originally posted by Thorrin
Derek Rolandman? crylaugh

Originally posted by Barker
crylaugh

Update riot..

mafia2

Originally posted by Barker
Update riot..

Some shit you niggas have been wanting for a while. haermm

I woke up Monday morning, anxious and irritable as ever. I just needed to tell Damien so bad and I needed to fix Pokémon as soon as possible. School could not have been longer or more boring. It seemed that Snow Canyon High was in some time capsule making the seconds, minutes and the minutes, hours. Even the usual Timo walking past me in the halls with his #33 Jersey wasn’t enough to get my spirits up or the looking down Kamee Bentley’s shirt when I “accidentally” dropped the fake banana when we were classing fruit groups for a second time, FOR NO REASON. The final school bell rang like the saving grace of an angel. I bolted out of school and dashed just like I did the my local game store to by the wretched Pokémon game. There was a vibration close to my penis. The cell phone was ringing. I quickly pull it out to check the call. Emilee Hanks, the one girl in Utah who doesn’t think that going brown makes you want to leave town. “**** you *****, I ain’t answering, back next to my cock where you belong you go” I thought to myself. The vibration was better than any crooked smile kiss that b*tch gave me.

I arrived home. I threw my bag next to the corner of the door and ran upstairs into my room. I pulled the phone out of my pocket. “Lulz, one missed call. That’s right Emilee, you are my *****, c*nt.” I said haermmingly. I punched the numbers into my phone ferociously. “Jesus, every time I got to call Damien I got to type in the length of ****ing pie.” I said as I hell the phone to my ear. It rang.

“Oi, It’s Damien, who the f*ck is this?” Damien said in his usual convict-esqe voice. “Eeeer it’s me Barker? Michael Barker?” I answered in a non reassuring way, like I didn’t know my name or some shit. “Oh yeah mate, you wanted to talk about Pokémon or some shit, right? You had a plan to fix the c*nt of a game, I believe. Well, what is it?” Damien shot back. I waited so long to tell Damien that I just blurted out the plan, “You and I, meet up and in Japan, and report to the mother****ing CEO of Nintendo that this shit is unacceptable, that as Pokémon fans we got the right to a good game! What do you say mate!?” I said like a world leader motivating his people before the entrance of war. There was silence on the other end of the phone. “Hello?” I asked with uncertainty. “What do I think mate? What do I think? OOOHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT MOTHER****ER, WE’RE GOING TO JAPAN!” Damien answered with enthusiasm. “OOOOOOOOHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT” I hollered back on the phone “This shit is going to more fun than making fun of that shit stain on your toilet”. “A bit of f*ck you mate, leave my toilet refresher out of this, mother****er.”. “A bit of sorry mate.” I responded in the Aussie slang. “So I’ll call your Mormon ass later about flights and meeting up, iight?” Damien said. “Yeah, sounds a bit of good news to me mate.”. “Then it’s settle, Damien and Michael are going to JAPAN!!!!” Damien shot into the phone.

I said haermmingly...biscuits

crylaugh haermm

Timo is #3 mmm

That shit is hot.mmm

I dont get it to be honest. You want to re-design Pokémon?

It's an inside joke.

And you're on the outside.

Presumably looking in.

Em em em.

crylaugh

Originally posted by Outbound
crylaugh

Originally posted by Barker

Em em em.

You are such a stupid ****. lol

I suppose I'm actually going to have this ****er off now, right? haermm

Update for the lulz haermm

Update, if you please eyes

hysterical this proves KMC as one of the weirdest sites ever.