Listen up Ladies -- Here are the Mens Rules.

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Doomsday666
~Men always hear "the rules" from the women's side. Now here are the rules from the men's side. Please note...these are all numbered 1 on purpose.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Ask for what you want!!! Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answer to almost every question.

1. A headache that lats for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor!

1. Check your oil! Please!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an arguement. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1.If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus and Marco Polo did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. And, we have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)

1. I'm in shape. Round is a shape!

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

~Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

http://brawl-hall.com/images/bh.jpg

yerssot
and all the nagging is ok then???

mechmoggy
I like the list, in fact I'm gonna give it to Mrs.MM.


Actually, better not I suppose.

jayride
Here! Here! wink

LanceWindu
laughing out loud rolling on floor laughing laughing out loud

I love it.

I'm going to print that off and start handing it out to all my friends.

Tex
I love it too, especially #1 and #1 and #1 and #1 and ..................

LanceWindu
roll eyes (sarcastic)

Typical of you Tex.

Captain REX
Hey Tex, me too! laughing out loud

Doomsday666
LOL... you found a loophole.

No "nagging" is never really ok. But a little nagging to remind someone of a date is a lot more tolerable then a huge tantrum when you forgot an important occasion.

ToMacco
Funny stuff. It's true about anything you wear is fine.

Captain REX
This is a funny list Doomsday. laughing out loud

keokiswahine
someone is going to be sleeping on the couch for a VETTY long time, and remain locked out of the bedroom indefinitely, it seems. wink roll eyes (sarcastic) stick out tongue big grin

Corran
Me likes this one, I am going to send it to lots of females.

Dexx
hehe...funny

finti
he he, got to show this to Monika

queeq
What's funny about that list? Sounds prefectly reasonable to me.

finti
big grin

Lara
sounds like a load of sexist pig shit to me!
hey! wakey wakey! this is the 21st century and if I remember from my history classes at school, it was always the mens rules! BORING!
you should respect women, because it was a woman that gave birth to you and brought you up! so listen up the womens list is on the way very shortly! mad

Dim
Pretty dumb..

Lara
who do you mean dim?

queeq
Indeed! Time to end that nonsensical 20th century women's lib crap. evil face

Dim
I mean the list is dumb *smacks queeq*

yerssot
*wisely desides not to comment*

finti
not wisely, just because you are a coward

yerssot
I rather have some girls as friends too

finti
cluck cluck

yerssot
a drink? I'm already full for now, but heck, why not!

glorfindel
so now we know what marriage is like.
why didn,t you tell me years ago mad mad

BackFire349
. A headache that lats for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor!

amen brother....my god...its ridiculous how frequently my girl gets headaches.

yerssot
hey, we're suffering, you're suffering big grin

Fire
well it has some good points, but all so some crappy ones,

but well I think most relationships need a lot of work from the guy and the girl

Corran
Why do people take these things so seriously?

PadmeSkywalker
hehe interesting list I must say....I do agree with the shopping is not a sport, and yes this is coming from a woman unless its for Lord of the Rings or Star Wars and there is a battle between you and three other people for a certain item, but that's when it becomes a pretty cool riot...

finti
???? in my house it was an combined effort to bring me up

queeq
I bet, no one could handle you alone.

Corran
Yes good point finti, I am sure you are also combining with Monika to bring up Live, as I too am bringing up my kids in a joint effort.

Lara I think you have just made your own sexist comment.

Lara
men dont have that much to do with up bringing of children unless their seriously matternal, but my view is that the men go out to work all day then have a few pints after work come home, eat, sit in front of the telly and then go to sleep, other than that referring back to my younger years they were nerver there! not going into details about that though! it might get ugly!

Corran
Oooo, how wrong you are to put all men in the same bracket, I spend at least the same amount of time with my kids, possibly more, than their mother. I think Finti may disagree with you also also.

I also do more of the cooking, but that's because I am better at it, so you cannot judge all men the same, I am deeplu offended by your comments, I am going to sulk.

finti
where do you live, never never land or a place that have reached 1936 last year???

Lara
I'm not disputing that!
I'm just saying MOST men dont bother, not ALL!
there are the odd few.

Corran
Still sulking

Lara
Ok! OK. statment retracted! jdee!

Corran
Not sulking anymore, Hi L'ra how are you?

Lara
Oh! you little creep! *spins round on chair! huffs!*

finti
guess you dont know many men then big grin

Lara
Oh, I do and the only one that hasnt turned out to be a complete and utter wanker is my grandfather!

finti
maybe britmen are the wankers big grinevil face

Lara
may be! actually that would be 85% correct.

Corran
Hey, I resent that remark too, in fact both of them. I'm thinking it's more likely about 50%.

Lara
hey! I'm talking london and the south east of england here!

Corran
Am currently working in Surrey, I think that even less than 50% of the guys I work with are wankers.

finti
big grin come to Norway and be spoiled L`ra

Lara
what about under that plush exterier? I know all too well about that!

finti
no no no, we are nice men here no tricks

Corran
Finti doesn't have a plush exterior,' what you see is what you get!'

finti
....and that is brilliance

Lara
thanks for the reasurrance, I was thinking about leaving good old london one day, just to find better work! now I have been given another motive! evil face

finti
yes we are a hunk of a country when it comes to men

Lara
now your starting to scare me! *backs away very slowly*

finti
dont we have a smilie shaking its head???? if we had it would be here
-> <---- now

Lara
why? and whats your point?

finti
o brother roll eyes (sarcastic)

Lara
yuor point if you wouldnt mind please finti!?

finti
does the word resigned say anything

Lara
no! :b

finti
hmmm just stay sweet sixtheen for now

Lara
:P cheecky monkey!

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