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Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'?

jockey

No... no man, shit, no man, I believe you'd get your ass kicked saying something like that man.

jockey

Lawrence, you awake?


jockey

Yeah.

jockey

You wanna come over?

jockey

No, thanks, man. I don't want you ****ing up my life, too.

jockey

Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.

You're just not gonna go?

jockey

Yeah.

jockey

Now Milton, don't be greedy, let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece.

Yeahhh...I'm gonna need the both of you to do something productive with your lives, asap.

Yeah, but last time I didn't receive a piece. And I was told...

jockey

Just pass.

jockey

Originally posted by Grinning Goku
Yeahhh...I'm gonna need the both of you to do something productive with your lives, asap.

You suck at doing an impersonation of Lumbergh. You only had one "Yeaahh..." in there.

I could set the building on fire.

jockey

Originally posted by Barker
I could set the building on fire.

jockey

Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass...

jockey

Originally posted by Grinning Goku
You noticed.

Of course I did. 131

Just remember, if you hang in there long enough, good things can happen in this world. I mean, look at me.

jockey

We're gonna be getting rid of these people here... First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway.

jockey

I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's music.

jockey

Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

jockey

Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!

jockey

People that annoy you...
N_GGERS.
name the missing letter.

Originally posted by Barker
Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!

jockey

Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it...

jockey

That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom.

jockey

Yes, this is horrible, this idea.

jockey

Would you bear with me for just a second, please?

jockey

Well, when a boss wants you to work on Saturday he generally asks you at the end of the day, right?

jockey

I don't know, I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both of you guys.

jockey

****in' A, man!

jockey

No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.

jockey

"PC Load Letter"? What the **** does that mean?

jockey

Ok. Ok. Can we order lunch first? Ok.

jockey

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

jockey

Mother... shitter... Son of an... ass. I just...

jockey

Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

jockey

Why don't you just call me when you grow up! Oh, wait, you know what, that's probably never gonna happen, so just don't call me, OK?

jockey

Not this time. I'll bet I'm the first one laid off! Just the thought of having to go to the state unemployment office and stand in line with those SCUMBAGS...

jockey

You know what, Stan, if you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair, like your pretty boy over there, Brian, why don't you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair?

jockey

I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.

jockey

That's what I'm talkin' about when I talk about America!

jockey

Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do shit.

jockey

Barker's like.....Half man.........Half Amazing....herbtouched

What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe?

jockey

herbhappy

Skeets just comes. jockey

No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

jockey

haermm

We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem is solved from your end.

jockey

We get caught laundering money, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.

jockey

I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob.

jockey

What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

jockey

Well, yeah.

jockey

Wow, that's messed up.

jockey

Uh, yeah, well, I work at Initech and I don't consider myself a pussy, OK?

jockey

Oh yeah, we're gonna bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal.

jockey

I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. "Oh... Oh... Oh!" You know what I'm talkin' about. "Oh!"

jockey

You didn't get the memo? We're not doing any of that Office Space crap anymore. We've moved on to a much better movie.

jockey

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
You didn't get the memo? We're not doing any of that Office Space crap anymore. We've moved on to a much better movie.

jockey

You are one pathetic Loser

No offense.

Originally posted by Captain Maynard
You are one pathetic Loser

No offense. None taken.

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
You didn't get the memo? We're not doing any of that Office Space crap anymore. We've moved on to a much better movie.

jockey

Hi, Gonzo. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports. jockey

jockey

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
Hey Roland old buddy, old pal.

It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right! jockey

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
We usually don't pick up hitchhikers, but i'm gonna go with my instinct on this one. Saddle up partner.

Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself! jockey

jockey

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
Haha, brought you over to my side.

pwnt jockey

Negative.

I like both movies.

pwnt

lawlz jockey

Hey guys. Oh, big gulps huh? All right! Well, see ya later. jockey

I called her up. she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough. I dunno I wasnt really paying attention jockey

lol a barker thread

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
No it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing.

I saw your luggage, then when I noticed the airline ticket I put 2 and 2 together. jockey

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
... but the thing that hurt the most, i think she was seeing another guy. Never did find out who.

Fraida told me the whole sleazy story, Mr. French Tickler! jockey

I got worms

Austria! Well then, g'day mate! Lets put another shrimp on the barbie jockey

Life is a fragile thing. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, the next minute you're dead meat. jockey

I desperately wanna make love to a school boy jockey

is the barkers when i cant get away from Pokemon games for hours at a timeherbsmile

Why you going to the airport, flying somewhere? jockey

I just figured she was a raging alcoholic jockey

Check out the funbags on that hosehound. jockey

Originally posted by MR.Grum
skeets said your a Douche Yeah, he must work out. jockey

According to the map we've only gone 4 inches. jockey

Originally posted by MR.Grum
skeets said your a Douche

Skeets just comes. jockey

We got no food, no jobs... our PET'S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!" jockey

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
Yeah, he must work out. jockey you'd be surprised

Oh, I don't know, Roland. The French are assholes. jockey

Originally posted by MR.Grum
he said grab his gonados

What the feck are gonados? jockey

Originally posted by MR.Grum
his fun
Bags

Fun bags = boobs

Fail. jockey

There's a party in your mouth, and I'm cumming.

131

PWNT. http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s167/Secretus74/jockey.gif

Originally posted by Bruce Leeroy
There's a party in your mouth, and I'm cumming.

131

Sick. jockey

Barker just comes 13

Sounds like someone has a case of the Barkers. jockey

Smells like someone needs a shower....oh wait it's me.

BRB.

lawlz

Check out Channel 9, it's the breast exam! jockey

Roffles, juw spelz. jockey

Originally posted by Barker
Sounds like someone has a case of the Barkers. jockey

Originally posted by Skeets

What do you mean by that?

jockey

srug

jockey

****in' A, Man.

jockey

Huh?

jockey

Don't take that literally.

jockey

Trust me, I didn't.

jockey

I'm not too sure. sly

Tsure? sly

I'm not.

jockey

Ghey Shrek sig that should be down now. jockey

The producers of the film claim that 'Christian Bale' dropped from about 180 pounds in weight down to about 120 pounds in weight to make this film. They also claim that Bale actually wanted to drop down to 100 pounds, but that they would not let him go below 120 out of fear that his health could be in too much danger if he did. His diet consisted of one can of tuna and an apple per day. His 63-pound weight loss is said to be a record for any actor for a movie role. He since gained the weight back for his role in Batman Begins.

jockey

I got worms

lol pwnt.

Thats a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?

Originally posted by Captain Maynard
I got worms

That's what we're gonna call it. I got worms! We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.

jockey

Originally posted by Captain Maynard
I got worms Shut up.

We all ready did that. Cock.. beer?

Originally posted by Captain Maynard
Thats a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Aus..tralia. 13

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
Shut up.

We all ready did that. Cock.. beer?

Originally posted by Barker
lol pwnt.

Originally posted by Barker
Aus..tralia. 13 Phailed 31

Originally posted by Barker
Aus..tralia. 13 Well then. G'day mate. Lets put another shrimp on the barbie.

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
Phailed 31 Oh you know, hanging out.. Playin Nintendo.


cock.

Originally posted by Captain Maynard
Oh you know, hanging out.. Playin Nintendo.


cock. I don't like you anymore. F*CK YOU

<3

Originally posted by Captain Maynard
Well then. G'day mate. Lets put another shrimp on the barbie.
She doesn't like it when we do that.

Originally posted by -X-Dr.Gonzo-X-
I don't like you anymore. F*CK YOU

<3 Listen to me little *****! You either go out there and make that shot or I'm gonna shove your head so far up your ****in' ass, you'll have to wear yourself as a hat!

Originally posted by Captain Maynard
Listen to me little *****! You either go out there and make that shot or I'm gonna shove your head so far up your ****in' ass, you'll have to wear yourself as a hat! *slap* jockey

DUDE!

Dude!

CNl4ygpBfEo

What's with the gay shit?

Yeah, WTF.

Only hetro Feces, plz.

Originally posted by Barker
Yeah, WTF.

Only hetro Feces, plz.

*toggle Eclipso mode ON ]*

Stop with the homosexual remarks in my thread, this is my thread so stay on topic or I will report you.

*toggle Eclipso mode OFF ]*

haermm

haermmhaermm

Originally posted by Barker
haermmhaermm
Originally posted by Captain Maynard
lawlz

Profiled.

131

Hey Roland man.

Watch out for your cornhole.

jockey

Originally posted by Barker
Hey Roland man.

Watch out for your cornhole.

jockey

haermm

Who barks this thread anyway?

Originally posted by Captain Maynard
lawlz

Profiled. That was a while ago. haermm

Originally posted by Reverend Axel
That was a while ago. haermm

I know. haermm

*Ghey walk*

Originally posted by Barker
*Ghey walk*

http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w82/dclap24/Funny%20Pics/turtles_motivational.jpg

Originally posted by Barker
*Ghey walk*

Bump for great justice. jockey

Irene: "What the hell is this pickle doing here?"

Me: "That's not the poi....wait, what did you say? BARKER DID YOU HEA..?"

Barker: "I know, I know, I heard!"

i liked it too but srsly, can only take so many shots of Bruce Willis almost dying/jumping on cars/jumping out of cars/ running down the street/ somehow launching a burning car at a helicopter. etc. etc. haermm

.hae