Funny Chat Room Quotes (Full of LOLs, LMAOs, and ROFLs)

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Kosta
Just a bit of fun. I have a sh*tload of funny quotes from IRC and other chat programs saved. Great for a laugh, or a cringe, depends on your sense of humour. Heres a few to start it off.

<Donut> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE **** UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut> RIPOSTE
<Donut> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
---------------------------------------------------------------------<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

laughing out loud
---------------------------------------------------------------------<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick ****ers)
<anamexis> :<

ROFL
---------------------------------------------------------------------

More to come.

Tattoo
Or you can go to www.bash.org and read them yourself. blink

Kosta
SPAMMER! lol. Theyre not all of bash.org. Off quite a few other websites too. Have long .doc saved full of my favs. thought I'd post them. BUT YOU HAD TO RUIN IT! stick out tongue

Tattoo
Originally posted by Kosta
SPAMMER! lol. Theyre not all of bash.org. Off quite a few other websites too. Have lond .doc saved full of my favs. thought I'd post them. BUT YOU HAD TO RUIN IT! stick out tongue

It's only SPAM if I have a personal gain from it. stick out tongue Plus if you go to the site you get the uncensored chats.

Roulette
I had to post these two hysterical

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit


<WiLdSeXyPrInCeSs> i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???
<XeNoX> Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible *****.

DarkC
The first one cracked me up. stick out tongue

Mišt
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

crylaugh

Roulette
Originally posted by DarkC
The first one cracked me up. stick out tongue

People are funny vin


Originally posted by Mišt
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

crylaugh

laughing out loud laughing out loud I saw that one just a little while ago.

BakaXero
Originally posted by Roulette
I had to post these two hysterical

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit


That one had me rolling on the floor. smile

Roulette
Originally posted by BakaXero
That one had me rolling on the floor. smile

It was a good one 13

I was trying not to burst out laughing....people be sleeping.

Mišt
<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

crylaugh crylaugh

I wonder if you could download HP in word format, and use word replace to do the whole book...hmm shifty

Roulette
hysterical I think it's possible...you should try it, Mr Mist.

Mišt
Downloading now pirate

Roulette
Niiiiiiiice vin

Mišt
Not giving it to you though mhm

Roulette
I didn't want it anyway weep

Mišt
Pssh, you know you wanted to read about Harry's wang, sick pervert nahuh

Roulette
oh 'Sif you can talk haermm you luff teh wang.

Mišt
Dont pin this on me sneaky2

BakaXero
Mist the wang lover

Roulette
I'll pin it wherever I want! oh......

roflz.

Originally posted by BakaXero
Mist the wang lover

laughing out loud A respectable title.

Barker
Mist and wang, sitting in a jock strap. herbnone

BakaXero
Originally posted by Barker
Mist and wang, sitting in a jock strap. herbnone
i don't think i need anyone to spell out what they were doing.ermm

Mišt
Originally posted by Roulette
I'll pin it wherever I want! oh......

roflz.



laughing out loud A respectable title.

Bet you would, pervert disgust

Originally posted by Barker
Mist and wang, sitting in a jock strap. herbnone

Mankini herbvin

Roulette
Originally posted by Mišt
Bet you would, pervert disgust

Luff you droolio

Secretus
<_kr4m3r> so many ****ing criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

Mišt
I just cleaned my shoes and you got drool on them ermmad

Back to the kitchen with you wife

Roulette
Originally posted by Secretus
<_kr4m3r> so many ****ing criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"
laughing out loud Good stuff.

Originally posted by Mišt
I just cleaned my shoes and you got drool on them ermmad

Back to the kitchen with you wife

Times have changed! You are my b*tch ^-^

BakaXero
Originally posted by Secretus
<_kr4m3r> so many ****ing criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"
that must be a group of kmc members.

Mišt
Originally posted by Roulette
Times have changed! You are my b*tch ^-^

oh weep

Originally posted by BakaXero
that must be a group of kmc members.

Im thinking probably non Australians 13

Roulette
Originally posted by Mišt
oh weep

petpet You'll get used to it. Man oh man, I've been online for...I dunno, a bagillion hours now...pretty sure I'll fall if I try to get out of this chair. jksafkhdfjkdfh brain meltidge.

Mišt
You should just stay and sleep here, I wont try to molest you while you sleep or anything touched

Roulette
Originally posted by Mišt
You should just stay and sleep here, I wont try to molest you while you sleep or anything touched

Oh you touched so full of schweetness....I think I'll sleep with one eye open though....y'know...just incase lookaround

Mišt
In case someone tries to molest me while Im not molesting you, good idea detective

Roulette
Originally posted by Mišt
In case someone tries to molest me while Im not molesting you, good idea detective

Fanks...I think ahead vin

My face hurts.

Mišt
Sorry, I punched you sad

Im off to bed sleepy Later wavey

Roulette
Bastardo weep

Nights, Misty hug

JacopeX
(iSONEWS) Update in DivX: My Life *CLASSIC* released by MEDiAMANiACS (49 files, 08/12/2001) www.isonews.com/r/?155D256CD=
(`Thunder) whoa
(`Thunder) they released my life
(`Thunder) how did they tape all that?!
(madman`) no way!! stop lying! it's MY LIFE!!
(runner-) either way its gonna be boring

Barker
<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little ***** that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the ****ing skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little **** he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “****! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! ****!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m ****ING HIV POSITIVE.”
<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the **** she is.
<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

crylaugh

Mišt
crylaugh

Rogue Jedi
that was different....I came three times. laughing out loud

Mišt
/\/\!šT says:
Pirates of the Caribbean is cool.
Senator Kram3r: Pending American says:
PIRATES OF URANUS LOLZ
Woofer says:
~herbeyes
Senator Kram3r: Pending American says:
FIFTEEN MEN TOUCHING KRAM3R'S BREAST
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF CU--
Woofer has left the conversation.
/\/\!šT has left the conversation.

herbeyes

Rogue Jedi
laughing out loud

Syren
Originally posted by Barker
<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little ***** that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the ****ing skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little **** he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “****! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! ****!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m ****ING HIV POSITIVE.”
<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the **** she is.
<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

crylaugh

Sheer brilliance clapping

Syren
laughing out loud

Syren
<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

ermm

Syren
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

laughing

Röland
Originally posted by Syren
<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

ermm

That made me laugh. laughing

Syren
<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops

Syren
It's so obviously DaMoose and Scythe! shock

Scythe
Originally posted by Syren
It's so obviously DaMoose and Scythe! shock

That's not me...

Mišt
Originally posted by Syren
<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops Originally posted by Syren
It's so obviously DaMoose and Scythe! shock

crylaugh

Scythe
...

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