Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Thoughts? Whats your opinion of someone who does this to the person they love?


http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/8036/your-friends-scare- me;_ylc=X3oDMTFvZmdpOGE3BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2ZwX3
RvZGF5BHNsawNvdXItZnJpZW5kcy1zY2FyZS1tZQR6egNhYmNk

what the hell? oh well, I'll just copy and paste the whole thing:








Your Friends Scare Me

Why do I feel threatened by my partner's opposite-sex friends?

By Scott Haltzman, Ph.D.

hitchedmag.com

Updated: Aug 18, 2007
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Question: Why do I feel threatened by my partner's opposite-sex friends?

Answer: If your partner is enjoying the company of another person, and that person is someone of the opposite sex from your partner, the answer is pretty obvious: you're worried about your mate becoming sexually attracted to that person, and, well, you know what happens next....

It's quite common for a couple to struggle with the thorny issue of opposite-sex friends.
It's quite common for a couple to struggle with the thorny issue of opposite-sex friends. Sometimes the problem arises from one partner refusing to let go of past boyfriends or girlfriends. Individuals who keep the old flames' phone numbers in their contact file believe it doesn't make sense to dispose of the friendship just because the romance fizzled out.
Some opposite-sex relationships spring from the workplace. In many job sites, including the military, men and women work side by side. When put into high-intensity situations, people bond. Some people, even if they're married, think that it's artificial to limit these positive work experiences to the office. They figure that if it feels good to be around their officemate during work, it should feel good spending time together after work as well.
Even though your mate sees lots of good reasons to foster these friendships, you have an even better reason not to: because it threatens your relationship.
You're concerned that if your partner has a friendship with a person today, it could grow into a love affair tomorrow.
You're concerned that if your partner has a friendship with a person today, it could grow into a love affair tomorrow. And you have every reason to be concerned.
The Warning Signs
When one individual shares intimacies with another of the opposite sex, they develop a familiarity that binds them closer together. This connection breeds feelings of "specialness" that leaves each with the sense that they have a unique understanding of each other -- one that other people can't appreciate. The big problem with this arrangement is that it excludes you and directs the energies that should be going into your relationship out toward other people.
Your mate may believe that opposite-sex friendships are harmless because his or her friend is married. But that's just dead wrong! Many friendships outside of marriage start as "just friends" and grow closer and more intimate. Because these friendships are so fresh, interesting and compelling, it's not long before the two people involved start to think they are more compatible than their own life partners. It's a small step from that realization to the development of a full-blown affair, and the destruction of a marriage.
Do you need to be concerned?
Ask yourself these questions:
1. Is the person someone whom your partner would consider "attractive"?
2. Are they spending time together outside of the office (even for office lunches) when other people are not around?
3. Has your partner excluded this "friend" from your life, either by nottelling you when they are meeting, refusing to introduce you, or going into another room to talk on the phone when you are nearby?
4. Does your partner tell you that he or she has the kind of relationship with this friend that you just couldn't understand?
A "yes" to question #1 and any of the other three questions means your partner's friendship may be a threat to your relationship.
If your mate is involved in a special relationship that makes you uncomfortable, don't ignore that feeling. You've got to ask for what you need -- for your mate to end further personal and exclusive friendships with people of the opposite sex. Remember, your partner may not be intending to hurt you, and may honestly feel like there is nothing to worry about. You can help him or her understand your concerns; it may help to read this article together.
Finally, your partner may feel it's rude or unfair to the "friend" to end the exclusivity of the friendship. That may be right, but frankly, not taking action is rude and unfair to you. In all cases, the needs of your relationship outweigh the needs of a friend. After all, you should always be number one on your partner's buddy list.

...they would suck...

Originally posted by JLred
...they would suck...

well this article is interesting but is this Scott Haltzman, Ph.D. actually reliable...i wouldn't recommend following this advice...he may be smart but there a lot of variables that really don't wanna make me believe this...

Originally posted by JLred
well this article is interesting but is this Scott Haltzman, Ph.D. actually reliable...i wouldn't recommend following this advice...he may be smart but there a lot of variables that really don't wanna make me believe this... explain. let's say it's the man who cheats on the woman, and let's say the woman treats him like a king, gives him good sex, never forsakes him, all that stuff. Lets say the guy does this to her for a year or so, just for argumens sake. is it justified even then with all of said variables?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
explain. let's say it's the man who cheats on the woman, and let's say the woman treats him like a king, gives him good sex, never forsakes him, all that stuff. Lets say the guy does this to her for a year or so, just for argumens sake. is it justified even then with all of said variables?

well i was talking about the author and like how he was raised and everything..he might have a different perspective on the world...


well what if it started as a pity date and the guy was a loser but she was more of a loser and they got married because they thought it was the next step but then he realizes he's made the dumbest decision and is merely cheating because she won't sign divorce papers and he wants her to see he's not good enough for her and she's beautiful and can get someone much better than him...but she has no self-esteem and denies what probably is true...so she pleases him and he doesn't want it....

no, what if they were both genuinely deeply in love and he did this? or she did this?

i dunno, hence i was talking about the author when i was talking about variables....

but i make a damn good romance author...

I gotcha.

yup...i think i'll use this as a fallback on my ride through life....

beware the mystery of the treacherous woman.

I think the article is right in that if your mate is not willing to end the exclusive friendship, then there is something wrong with your relationship. You should be number one.

Originally posted by =Tired Hiker=
I think the article is right in that if your mate is not willing to end the exclusive friendship, then there is something wrong with your relationship. You should be number one. yup. and even when there is no past between them, if they met after you met your mate, its bad news. when they spend all their time with this "friend" of the opposite sex, it's only a matter of time before....well, you know.

some idiots just do not get this.

If I had the choice I would make my loved one stay away from the opposite sex during free-time shockyes

In my opinion: Jealousy is a very common thing and is easily caused if the one you love spend time together with people of the opposite gender and especially if they are good looking

Feeling threatened is a natural thing as you are afraid of loosing the one you love. Most would say that you should just trust your loved one but that is rarely enough. If you do not feel jealousy at all then there is something wrong.

Having a relationship over the internet will cause frustration and as the little Jedi here said, the more time they spend together with a opposite gender person, the closer they get to actually get attracted by both mind and body.

It is hard to give a straight answer to this. At least for me shrug

If you or your partner feel jealousy all I can only advice you to talk about it and cut down on the opposite gender time. If you care enough then you are ready to make that sacrefice.

I know I would most likely ask my boyfriend to not spend time with girls.

I myself have barely any friends in real life and therefore my partners never has any problems with that

Little? I havent been called little....well, ever.

Because people are too shy hug

Do not worry! Size does not matter to me flirt

Originally posted by C. C. Cowgirl
Because people are too shy hug

Do not worry! Size does not matter to me flirt I am 6'1 and 225 pounds, girlie, I am far from a little Jedi, in EVERY sense.

and who said anything about internet relationships? I am talking about real life relationships.

Oh shock

I must have read it wrong hmm

I still think you get my point

Little Baldo

Bubbly Blondie.