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I like it.

Originally posted by miss_swann
I like it.

Thanks a lot.

It was good. I liked the concept behind it.

Very good work. Though I'd like to see more of a consistent rhyme structure, the same kind used perhaps in the third verse.
I particularly like the use of elements to articulate feeling, like an extended use of pathetic fallacy.

The last verse was the only particular verse that disappointed me, and I know, as a writer it's always the hardest. I feel it should have had less of a definite end, to keep the reader thinking. Though of course, when the subject is close to your heart a definite end is by all means the desirable thing to achieve.

All in all, I believe this to be a good piece of poetry, good demonstration of catharsis and the sense of mind to not let it become too pretentious.

Originally posted by Critic
It was good. I liked the concept behind it.

Thanks a lot, bro.




Originally posted by chillmeistergen
Very good work. Though I'd like to see more of a consistent rhyme structure, the same kind used perhaps in the third verse.
I particularly like the use of elements to articulate feeling, like an extended use of pathetic fallacy.

The last verse was the only particular verse that disappointed me, and I know, as a writer it's always the hardest. I feel it should have had less of a definite end, to keep the reader thinking. Though of course, when the subject is close to your heart a definite end is by all means the desirable thing to achieve.

All in all, I believe this to be a good piece of poetry, good demonstration of catharsis and the sense of mind to not let it become too pretentious.

I appreciate your learned and well thought out critique. It was very encouraging.

omg that was beautiful. rhyme scheme never mattered so little to me.

Originally posted by ~Forever*Alone~
omg that was beautiful. rhyme scheme never mattered so little to me.

Thanks, boo. You're quite welcome.