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I hate to be a downer, this is such an awesome forum with happy people who are like yay, look at me I'm happy, but i am having a shit load of problems with my personal life and shit... I cuss a lot and I apologize for it. Well my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years, broke up with me a couple days ago, this would be the 6th time we've broken up, and her reason was that she doesn't love me, and hasn't for almost a year, around November, she says. She told me she thought she could make it work, but has given up as anyone should after a month let alone 11 of 'em, but what really gets me is a year before November, she proposed to me after we settled break up number 3. we wanted to get married in June of this year, and I got her a ring around said time, it was a late engagement ring, but I couldn't afford one until then because up until about March of this year she didn't have a job. So I supported her, happily. I did however urge her to get a job,or go back to school, but it took 9 months for her to get another job. So i bought her a ring in April or so,a whole 5 months after she claimed to stop loving me, and the only reason we didn't wed was financial problems, we were hoping for a loan from the bank after discovering our tax refund was a lot less than was expected. Recently, she went to visit a friend in Oklahoma, a guy, I'm usually not the jealous type, but once when he called her after not talking for a while, she was ecstatic, more so then when I got her the ring. I says to her I didn't want her to go, that it bugged me, but she went anyways. Before she went, I cooled down because I was under the impression that she no longer had a thing for him, and was going mainly because she already bought the ticket and it was non refundable, but I still had a feeling that something may happen. I knew trying to control her pushed her farther away... Like pot for instance, I don't like it mainly because I have a couple mommy issues, it was a gateway drug for my mom, so my ex "quit" for me, and she did a good job. She didn't smoke it for over a year, but around November or so she started smoking again. I told her I didn't approve, but she didn't care, it's what she does. When the going got tough, when I got on her nerves, when she was worrying about family members, when she wanted to do it just to spite me, the list goes on. Back to Oklahoma, While she was there she kissed him once, I found out after we broke up, I also found out she tried to **** him , but he's a fairly decent guy, and he declined. Her excuse was she was drunk. Anyways I'm here all heart broken, realizing that this was a long time coming and my eyes were closed to often. I want her back, but I know that it would probably lead to more heart ache. I know even if she wanted me back and was willing to quit smoking pot for me, she wouldn't due to he stubborn nature I've always admired. We did have break up sex and I didn't regret the meaninglessness of it this time though. I know I should move on, or maybe not have been home when she got back from her trip, like a good friend of mine suggested. Well when she got back from that trip, she realized she didn't miss me while she was one, and finally got the balls to break up from an unfulfilling relationship that she, was comfortable, bored but comfortable, in. I know part of this is just her nature, you see she gets tired of the same thing day after day, and she just wanted something different, she admitted this. I kinda feel sorry for her, because that's not a very healthy nature, and she may never be the wife, or even mother, that one would want if she ever go down that road. She would get sick of it and would want to start over again. Once again I don't know why I'm posting this, aside from just getting it off my chest, but I doubt anyone will read it, let alone respond if they spent the hour or so reading it but if someone does read this please give me some sort of advice, or say something that might make me feel better or laugh or something. Sorry for the length.Wow, 4062 characters, sorry again.

Wow, that was sad.

You seem like a nice guy, so I'm sorry all this has happened to you. And while it hurts now, I really believe you'll be able to move on to a better place. Undoubtedly, you were happy before you met her, so you will be happy again...You are not defined by this girl.

Peace

No, I know what youre saying, and I agree, but alas I was just blindsighted completely. And I'm not to nice, I don't know where to draw the line between funny and mean.

Ive been outta work since April 2005 and it sucks!

Yeah she was out from June '06-March '07, so its not as bad but...

women...they do shit like this.

I feel for you dude...

I myself have never had a serious relationship, I've been pouring all of my time into my work, but from the way everyone makes it sound, I may as well avoid it altogether.....

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck man, don't let your heartbreak hold you back, allow it to make you a stronger person.

the moment she told you she didnt love you, the relationship was doomed.

Originally posted by rader
I hate to be a downer, this is such an awesome forum with happy people who are like yay, look at me I'm happy, but i am having a shit load of problems with my personal life and shit... I cuss a lot and I apologize for it. Well my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years, broke up with me a couple days ago, this would be the 6th time we've broken up, and her reason was that she doesn't love me, and hasn't for almost a year, around November, she says. She told me she thought she could make it work, but has given up as anyone should after a month let alone 11 of 'em, but what really gets me is a year before November, she proposed to me after we settled break up number 3. we wanted to get married in June of this year, and I got her a ring around said time, it was a late engagement ring, but I couldn't afford one until then because up until about March of this year she didn't have a job. So I supported her, happily. I did however urge her to get a job,or go back to school, but it took 9 months for her to get another job. So i bought her a ring in April or so,a whole 5 months after she claimed to stop loving me, and the only reason we didn't wed was financial problems, we were hoping for a loan from the bank after discovering our tax refund was a lot less than was expected. Recently, she went to visit a friend in Oklahoma, a guy, I'm usually not the jealous type, but once when he called her after not talking for a while, she was ecstatic, more so then when I got her the ring. I says to her I didn't want her to go, that it bugged me, but she went anyways. Before she went, I cooled down because I was under the impression that she no longer had a thing for him, and was going mainly because she already bought the ticket and it was non refundable, but I still had a feeling that something may happen. I knew trying to control her pushed her farther away... Like pot for instance, I don't like it mainly because I have a couple mommy issues, it was a gateway drug for my mom, so my ex "quit" for me, and she did a good job. She didn't smoke it for over a year, but around November or so she started smoking again. I told her I didn't approve, but she didn't care, it's what she does. When the going got tough, when I got on her nerves, when she was worrying about family members, when she wanted to do it just to spite me, the list goes on. Back to Oklahoma, While she was there she kissed him once, I found out after we broke up, I also found out she tried to **** him , but he's a fairly decent guy, and he declined. Her excuse was she was drunk. Anyways I'm here all heart broken, realizing that this was a long time coming and my eyes were closed to often. I want her back, but I know that it would probably lead to more heart ache. I know even if she wanted me back and was willing to quit smoking pot for me, she wouldn't due to he stubborn nature I've always admired. We did have break up sex and I didn't regret the meaninglessness of it this time though. I know I should move on, or maybe not have been home when she got back from her trip, like a good friend of mine suggested. Well when she got back from that trip, she realized she didn't miss me while she was one, and finally got the balls to break up from an unfulfilling relationship that she, was comfortable, bored but comfortable, in. I know part of this is just her nature, you see she gets tired of the same thing day after day, and she just wanted something different, she admitted this. I kinda feel sorry for her, because that's not a very healthy nature, and she may never be the wife, or even mother, that one would want if she ever go down that road. She would get sick of it and would want to start over again. Once again I don't know why I'm posting this, aside from just getting it off my chest, but I doubt anyone will read it, let alone respond if they spent the hour or so reading it but if someone does read this please give me some sort of advice, or say something that might make me feel better or laugh or something. Sorry for the length.Wow, 4062 characters, sorry again.

I read it dude.

I don't really have advice. Just like every story, there are two sides to this. I would have to have her side of the story AND a third party's side as well. (Someone who could be as objective as possible.)

It is best that you didn't get married and broke up now.

Move on as quickly as possible. Seriously, the faster you pick yourself up and start dating around, the quicker you can get over it.

Originally posted by rader
No, I know what youre saying, and I agree, but alas I was just blindsighted completely. And I'm not to nice, I don't know where to draw the line between funny and mean.

Ughh im just like you dude, chicks break up with me all the time... and i fall in love with them like an idiot

im going through a break up also... ughh

Its so easy to give advice but when you actually go through it it seems impossible, one of my ex's i was with for 4 years, she ended up breaking up with me and going for another guy... the 2nd half of the 4th year she was pretty much seeing us both... that whore lol...

but im over her now and got a new girlfriend who just broke up with me 4 days ago... it hurts even more...

sigh i cant even help you cause i dont know what to do myself!

LETS GO GAY

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
women...they do shit like this.


You know what's messed up, though? Many women think men are more liable to do shit like this than women, which is Absolute Bullshit. For example, I'm a pretty faithful dude when it comes to relationships, because I respect people's feelings. People always assume guys are hard to tie down to a relationships but there are a whole lot of bitches out there who do the damn same. So, ladies, next time, don't let your yo-yoing hormones get the best of you when you fix your mouths to say that 'all men suck', or that 'niggas ain't shit.'

Originally posted by Mairuzu
LETS GO GAY


Originally posted by Grinning Goku
No.

Originally posted by Grinning Goku


sigh i tried.. but you are right about the women thing.. i bet they do more shit to men then then other way around... UGHHH

Which is why i love the movie Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

which was an awesome movie... you all rock

This chick you dated, is attracted to chaos. Its the reason she drinks and smokes pot. She has the behavior of an addict, which isnt something you want to marry until they overcome that. She probably didnt have a dad around while she was growing up, did she? correct me if im wrong. She tried to **** another guy and kissed him, thats also cheater behavior. If there's one thing in life Ive learned its that cheaters always cheat.
You sound like a normal guy, brought up by good parents and you have good morals, but she sounds almost the opposite. She doesn't respect herself which means that she grew up with little to no good parenting.


I went through the same exact thing dude, it sucks balls. You will have to deal with this for a long ass time. Same thing happened to me about three years ago, and sometimes I still struggle with it. Best advice I can give: date more girls and find another love. That will help. Oh yeah and get the hell out of Alaska dude.


By chance was she Italian?

:P

Originally posted by rader
this is such an awesome forum with happy people who are like yay, look at me I'm happy

You still talking about KMC? Har har har!

Actually, she was raised a lot better than me , and she did have a dad, shes a daddy's girl, I think the main reason she wntd to marry me even though she didn't love me was because, her dads diing. As far as me I don't like pot because I have mommy issues like I said before. It was a gateway drug for my mom when I was growing up. As far as her morals go, shes always claimed to not be a cheater, but her excuse was she was drunk. I don't forgive her and now I'm pissed cuz the pawn shop says they wouldn't buy the engagement ring for more than like $100, when I spent $475 on it.

actually I love living in AK, not any big insects or rodents, Its also very pretty and you can see the stars perfectly during almost anytime of the year

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
women...they do shit like this. Yes. They do!

Im sorry that you went through that. Personally if I was you I would delete her from my life.

yup...off to the recycle bin with her.

actually shes an amazing lay and an all around fun person to be around so long as I'm not dating her.

Originally posted by rader
actually shes an amazing lay and an all around fun person to be around so long as I'm not dating her. why do I feel a but coming....

huh? what do you mean a but?