Step Steady, New York Furvert B*tch!
Taken from my blog, my thoughts and sentiments on "I Love New York 2" on VH1...
Why...?
Seriously! Find other ways to mentally retard your brain people! That bigotry enduing ***** does nothing but raise social standards to a new all time racist high. In a world where socialites are told how to look and how to act by Hollywood, her ***** ass never received the memo. She polluted our airwaves with her constant seahag-esque cackling which panda bears can hear up in the mountains of China, and they too have mild heart attacks due to it. Did I tell you she looks so savagely dirty? They say you can tell a lot from a woman by taking a look at her mother, well if you took a look at New York’s mother, I’m sure they both routinely pick-up dead hookers from a ditch on the side of a freeway, skin them, then wear their skin on television to appear “Bootylicious.” I swear, I’m about to smash my goat hooves into this damn computer monitor right now. Chewing my cud isn’t doing shit for me right now.
Anybody who appears on the show must be missing some massive private parts, it just makes sense. They take men with massive members, surgically remove them while New York watches, chews gum and cackles of course. Then they place the removed members in a box. (Did I mention that upon New York’s request, she asked that they used a mouthful of PEZ candy instead of an anesthetic? Yeah, she’s a crack-ho like that.) So they take these men, already robbed of their manhood and humility and then demoralize them further by giving them a nickname that not even I would give to a ****ing piece of gum stuck to one of my wheelchair’s tires if in the event I can’t use an actual curse word due to the people around me. New York may be crack addicted in appearance, but she is not stupid in anyway. She has a crack team of researchers hired by VH1 in association with the BBC to grant her special “HAI! I CAME UP WITH THIS!!!11!” powers which she uses to her advantage.
With her team composed of 622 scientists and a woman who once saw Oprah Winfrey live, she concocted a plan to finally score herself a date using the aforementioned procedure of removing a man’s dong, then adding a potato sack as a prize with a dollar sign painted on the front of it, which was a gift from The Penguin. Now, so as to provide hope to these oddly named, poor ass guys, she was nice enough to offer the chance of marrying her. Along with some money, and the chance to put their hand in a secret chest which may contain their severed wiener, but they only get one try, so if it’s not their own, they have to live with it surgically transplanted onto their body, she will finally have a husband! Overall I guess beggers can be choosers. Let’s hope the gangsta midget attempts to strangle her with piano wire. Since she’s so tall and full of herself while boasting about her good looks and he’s a midget who thinks he’s street, I’ll find it hilarious even if he succeeds or not.
Lesson in life, when you walk past a toilet in your life, never stare at it, and say: “I’ll be like you someday, you’ll see….someday…”
Yours Truly, Strife, The Mutilator of Dreams.