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Ok, just a few tips.

It'd probably help if you followed some general grammar rules. For example, comma usage would be a good addition. It's also well known that there can only be one quotation per paragraph. Periods and question marks at the end of quotations would make it easier to read, and add to the flow of the story.

Also, a littler variety would be nice. The conversations were EXTREMELY similar. And while that is often true of teenagers, a little bit of mix-up in dialogs could have come from the chat with Jodie's mother, which was curiously omitted.

Plus, it's probably uncommon is a modern society (which, I can asses is likely very similar to our own) for every person to have blond hair. Seriously, he had blond hair, she had blond hair, she dyed her hair blond. And guess what? She has blond hair too! Throw in a redhead, or a Mexican, or something. Just make the characters different, because the thing that makes humans so special is just that: we're different.

man the people in the story are based on real people that what they look like

plus it the start of the story im working on it

guys if ur reading this please comment i want some feed back