Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Well the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
You dont think of them as human
You dont think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping your eyes on the wall

Chorus
Im your private dancer
A dancer for money
Ill do what you want me to do
Im your private dancer
A dancer money
Any old music will do

I wanna make a million dollars
I wanna live out by the sea
Have a husband and some children
Yeah I guess I want a family
All the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
Repeat chorus twice

Deutschmarks or dollars
American express will nicely thank you
Let me loosen up your collar
Tell me do you wanna see me do the shimmy again
Repeat chorus

http://www.kalamu.com/bol/wp-content/content/images/private%20dancer%20cover.jpg

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/9643/ikecm1.jpg

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been awhile. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog
to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up thishitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit
Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself toruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come up to me and starts
kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'cause I was just thinkin'
about skinnin' you like a deer." Well she smiled, hadabout as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face
like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then shetold me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. 'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on
when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this
one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammeringMickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds onSanta Claus's tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I'm parkin'
the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Gotto nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy babyformula.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid on into The
Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw Bambi starin' at me from
the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped.So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to
hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish theone-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing
children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

/thread

Originally posted by Ax3l
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been awhile. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog
to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up thishitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit
Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself toruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come up to me and starts
kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'cause I was just thinkin'
about skinnin' you like a deer." Well she smiled, hadabout as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face
like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then shetold me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. 'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on
when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this
one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammeringMickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds onSanta Claus's tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I'm parkin'
the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Gotto nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy babyformula.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid on into The
Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw Bambi starin' at me from
the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped.So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to
hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish theone-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing
children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' wow, Bloodhound Gang. Nice.

Originally posted by =Tired Hiker=
Well the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
You dont think of them as human
You dont think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping your eyes on the wall

Chorus
Im your private dancer
A dancer for money
Ill do what you want me to do
Im your private dancer
A dancer money
Any old music will do

I wanna make a million dollars
I wanna live out by the sea
Have a husband and some children
Yeah I guess I want a family
All the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
Repeat chorus twice

Deutschmarks or dollars
American express will nicely thank you
Let me loosen up your collar
Tell me do you wanna see me do the shimmy again
Repeat chorus

*puts a $5 bill in his mouth and lays down on stage*

pointandlaugh

hehehehe....boobies.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
hehehehe....boobies.
http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/9681/epicboobsvx4.jpg

Originally posted by Arachnid1
I'm going to stare at that pick for a while. I've BEEN staring at it.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
I've BEEN staring at it. As was every other dude who's seen that pick.

pitt_wank

drool

my hands are all sticky now.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
my hands are all sticky now. Thanks for the info.

I was eating french fries.

French Fries? Lucky. I want french fries.

from mcdonalds.