The Jedi's Deadliest Foes

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Lt. Valerian
(Sorry about the name, I know it sucks. I'll change it later.)

Alright... I have never done this before, so... any ideas, suggestions, or contructive criticism are welcomed.

It's not finished yet, it's actually a long way to go. I'll post what I have written so far.

Lt. Valerian

Lt. Valerian

Jedireaper
(If it is a trap and people are smart it would be a trap within a trap. Guards would be posted. No guards is too obvious and if he is trained at all he wouldnt just head straight to the source of the 'problem' as it were rather he would search other tents and locations. I'm not being critical or dissing you, I'm just giving you my thoughts. Otherwize. Good story. Can't wait for the next piece. 72%)

Jedireaper
(Better that NJO)

Lt. Valerian
*lol. Yeah, I'll post the next part in some minutes*

Lt. Valerian

Jedireaper
(Through the roof? Wow... quite a twist there, I didn't expect that... Sith are from another Galaxy?..... anyway I stick to my points, you should make the encounter between Dev and the Dark Jedi a little more suprising, I say this because there is very little suspense... there is no fear from the Jedi... I'll PM an idea to you... big grin glad your back, read one of my stories sometime and comment opinion and idea-rate it.)

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