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McClane finds himself in some building where terrorist ninja's have taken everyone hostage for some reason that only ninja's can understand. one of the Hostages happens to be McClanes daughter and he is really pissed off about that.

Well, who wins?




I'm taking the NYPD detective on this one, they have his daughter for fvcks sake.

You couldn't make the second character more specific? Like from a certain movie?

Originally posted by Impediment
You couldn't make the second character more specific? Like from a certain movie?

They're ninja's, is there anything else that needs to be said? Ok,ok lets call the head ninja...,Shredder.

Well, the rules do state that the participants need to be actual movie characters from a certifiable film. Not random participants.

The Ninja pwn, they have no guns for McLane to take.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
The Ninja pwn, they have no guns for McLane to take.

well shit on me. I didn't even think about that. I guess this thread is now over

OSP, homey.

Yeah but they're terrorist ninjas so they'd have bombs. McClane blows the whole f'n building.

oh damn, it looks like this thread still has life and McClane still has a chance. Hells yes ninja's would most certainly have bombs.

Ninja with bombs?

yeah, upon further thought. I have realized that things have probably gotten to hot for McClane the terror killer. Ninja's with bombs...,that is some bad ass shit that not even rocky can fuk with.

The ninjas might not have guns, but McClane starts with one....

McClane ftw

Take in all of the Diehard films and the many varied deaths, I think it stands to reason that McClane doesn't need to rely on a gun when dealing out ample portions of death, destruction and mayhem.

An office tower hold endless makeshift weapons, so I see death by phone cord, death by letter opener, death desk drawer, death by paperclips, death by papercuts, death by water bottle etc. etc. etc.

Edit: And the endless supply of 'death by having your ninja-ass tossed out a 50th floor window.'

Ergo, McClane FTW.

And his sword wielding is most likely adequate and stealth is a forte of his.

How many Ninja?

The exact number of ninja corpses that the skyscaper can contain, perhaps not too coincidentally.

Slurp slurp slurp.........

Now now. Step away from that Riggs nutsack, and consider what I have just said.

Its rude to worship Riggs when a good point about McClane is being made.

McClane called. He said for you to quit dragging your teeth.

Riggs called...the proctologist again.


....To come remove you.

Hey, better to be a Riggs ass pirate than a McClane knob jobber. Just saying.

No its not. IMHO
While you spend all day thinking of such scenarios, I both would be appealing to you, I'd do neither.

But if ever forced into that position, I could wear a glove.

You however would have.....nay....want........nay........beg to take it in the ass.



McClane, baby................ McClane......!!!

DUDE you just "said his name" haermm

It matters not in this thread.

Only matters when you are slobbing on his knob then? Oh wait, thats all the time.

*steps into the thread*
"oh..... you guys are fighting...... I'll come back later."
*walks out of thread*

Dont be silly. Come on back in.

Its too one sided to be considered a fight exactly anyhow.

But if you want to hang that tag on it,
I may have to withdraw in order to not look like an man in command of the facts battering around some under-clue equipped weakling, anyhow.
As you can tell by his last comment, Im clearly not dealing with a mensa member.

John McClane pwning a buncha Ninja haermm Riiiiiiiiight.

Yup.

crazy

He couldnt even pwn one GIRL Ninja. By the way, no SUV here.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Riggs called...the proctologist again.


....To come remove you.

L (_O_) L

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
He couldnt even pwn one GIRL Ninja. By the way, no SUV here.

1) That is sexiest, you pig-****er. Female ninja are just as capable, even more so, as their (.)(.)s serve as a distraction.

2) Large office buildings/Towers have there own underground garage, so McClane has many an automobile to drive up the asses of the ninjas. If he were so inclined.

Not to mention that ignorance of the (blanket term) martial arts that he raps on about constantly.

I would suggest that he tries slapping a female win-chung expert, or maybe Laila Ali.

Oh my god. My penis just got hard. I saw this thread and i was all like. "yo, i swear to god i made a thread like that before...,aint that some shit?" then i realized it was my thread. God damn, i don't think it gets any sexier than John McClane taking on a tower of terrorist ninjas. Well, maybe if Vin diesel, Bruce Lee, Hillary Swank and Zooey Deschanel could some how get involved. Either way, McClane gets out of the building with the ho's on his arms, but only because bruce lee let him out

Originally posted by Robtard
1) That is sexiest, you pig-****er. Female ninja are just as capable, even more so, as their (.)(.)s serve as a distraction.

2) Large office buildings/Towers have there own underground garage, so McClane has many an automobile to drive up the asses of the ninjas. If he were so inclined. By a GIRL yo.

thats weak man, girls wreck everything. She was an uber biitch. Who won? Who was left breathing...,McClane. I think that whole scene was just a metaphor of McClanes offscreen problems with biitches. They're always a pain in his ass. They are always the root of his problem. Think about it. It's not terrorists that get mcClane into all that shit when all he wants to do is be at home getting over a headache on reruns of captain kangaroo. Shit, man, biitches are the root of all his trauma just like life in general. It's woman man, they biitches yo and we're suckers for them

Originally posted by jinXed by JaNx
thats weak man, girls wreck everything. She was an uber biitch. Who won? Who was left breathing...,McClane. I think that whole scene was just a metaphor of McClanes offscreen problems with biitches. They're always a pain in his ass. They are always the root of his problem. Think about it. It's not terrorists that get mcClane into all that shit when all he wants to do is be at home getting over a headache on reruns of captain kangaroo. Shit, man, biitches are the root of all his trauma just like life in general. It's woman man, they biitches yo and we're suckers for them The point is that she pwned hs ass h2h, and he had to use a damn truck to take her out.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
The point is that she pwned hs ass h2h, and he had to use a damn truck to take her out.

This "pwned" nonsense again, she temporarily got the upper-hand and he got tossed out a window, which he shrugged off. Another testament to his durability and survival skills.

Had he done the stupid thing and taken his time to walk back up there, they would have continued the fight and taking into account the shit McClane has taken without a problem, she would have tired-out beating on him and then he would have taken her out.

Regardless to say, she got 3 tons of steel shoved up her Asian ass for her troubles, "pwned" indeed.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Hey, better to be a Riggs ass pirate than a McClane knob jobber. Just saying.

So in a scenario where you either had to take one in the mouth or take one up the ass, you'd opt for spreading your asscheeks and taking tubesteak aft.

Originally posted by Robtard
So in a scenario where you either had to take one in the mouth or take one up the ass, you'd opt for spreading your asscheeks and taking tubesteak aft. Actually, Sadako said this:

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Riggs called...the proctologist again.


....To come remove you.

Implied that I am the one pushing Riggs shit in.

Originally posted by Robtard
This "pwned" nonsense again, she temporarily got the upper-hand and he got tossed out a window, which he shrugged off. Another testament to his durability and survival skills.

Had he done the stupid thing and taken his time to walk back up there, they would have continued the fight and taking into account the shit McClane has taken without a problem, she would have tired-out beating on him and then he would have taken her out.

Regardless to say, she got 3 tons of steel shoved up her Asian ass for her troubles, "pwned" indeed.

aww man, now that's sexy.


but it aint like i got no love for Riggs. Riggs da man too

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Actually, Sadako said this:



Implied that I am the one pushing Riggs shit in.

Ahh, so you'd be doing the pushing with your head it seems. Don't know, but I wouldn't want to be licking the inside of a man's colon.

Originally posted by Robtard
Ahh, so you'd be doing the pushing with your head it seems. Don't know, but I wouldn't want to be licking the inside of a man's colon. Wrong head, retard.

But IS it?

McClane for the win still....

And he clearly defeated her H2H, before she did the "not knowing where to stop" thing and getting further McPermaPwned.