Advice for Zimbo

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Corran
This is where we will post any advice for Zimbo as requested in his a little advice please thread. The advice I am posting relates to determining the approach of hitting on a girl by seeing what she drinks, working out her personality from that and then choosing the right plan of attack, oops sorry I mean the right Approach.

Drink : Beer.
Personality : Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink : Blender drinks with umbrella.
Personality : Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink : Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 litre box)
Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Drink : Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc
Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue.
Approach : Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

Drink : Baileys.
Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach : Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Drink : Shots (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).
Personality : Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach : Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

AND IF SHE DOES TEQUILA BODY-SHOTS, YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!

Zimbo I hope this helps a little, if more advice required I suggest you find a more suitable and saner place to get it from.

Mujaffa
go for the last one Zimbster

Thomas H
heheh...good examples!

ToMacco
Good suggestions.

My advice to zimbo is to watch movies with better actors. Vin Disiel is not a good actor.

BackFire349
my advice is never get your hopes up about a girl, they will crush you.

finti
not if you got the upper hand

BackFire349
which isnt always possible, its bad to get your hopes up, always expect the worst, that way you will never get hurt.

finti
or just dont allow your self to be totally lost emotionally

BackFire349
that too, but im young, i dont know any better...well i didnt. i do now

Lara
thats not always correct! I'm not going into details but guys can be ***** as well as girls. so dont make your the victims, lads!

finti
never the victim

Lara
*scowls*

queeq
Why is that advice only for ZImbo?

Lara
*scowls again*

queeq
Now now.... have some...err... water. big grin

Lara
*scowls yet again*

queeq
laughing out loud

Corran
OK then here's a similar one for men:-
IF MEN DRINK:

Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.

Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky : He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Gin & Tonic: Closet homosexual, overcompensating by trying to get laid as much as possible.

Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc : He's gay (Blatantly).

Corran
Because Zimbo specifically asked for advice.

Lara
I'd say both statements are pretty unethical seeming as you cannot simply tell

Lara
I'd say both statements are pretty unethical seeming as you cannot simply tell what a person is like just by what their drinking!
I drink quite a few of the drinks you've listed corran so basically I dont think you can defined me that easily! so stick out tongue go do some more logical thinking.

Corran
It's just supposed to be light humour, I am sorry.

Lara
so you should be! humptf!

Corran
roll eyes (sarcastic)

Lara
*raises one eyebrow and frowns* I can do one better than that! *scowls again*

Corran
If the wind changes direction your face will stick like that. eek!

Ushgarak
I don;t drink, so what does that make me?

Corran
sober!

Ushgarak
Woo-hoo! The getting laid part still applies, though.

Corran
Oh yes sorry, its:-

Sober and desperate to get laid.

Dim
Well, it looks like Lara's holding the female line...so I'll just go get a drink.

finti
stick out tongue

Corran
Can't get the drinks here, we're not licenced.

finti
oh following the rules are we big grin

Corran
As always. wink

finti
chicken shit

Corran
I do too.

queeq
We don't serve chicken shit..... Well,w e do but we call them pina colada's. big grin

zimbo
Thanks guys(and girls)and specialy thanks for coran it was funny but I don't think this advice is safety.I read this thread when it was almoust on the last row.

Captain REX
Too bad I'm not going to an English pub anytime soon...

X-Commander-X
What'z up ZImbo?
You need any more advices , lol!?

Mujaffa
well pina colada smells like feet and chicken shit mixed together sick

finti
there is an idea for a new drink

Mujaffa
just give it a new name..and your done!

finti
we call it Mujaffa

Mujaffa
don't think so already i have a sub-sandwitch called after me..stick out tongue

finti
Moijaffa then

Mujaffa
never heard of him...who's he??

finti

Mujaffa
never met it....maybe i drunk it...

Corran
Is it like feet and chicken shit mixed together?

zimbo
You realy are drinks specialist Coran

Mujaffa
corran with an umbrella

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