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Not really, but that would have been sweet

Gaspity, I almost crapped out E-Chips!

call

Fold

I am without a doubt the worst poker player of all time.

I finally played for real money on pokerstars the other day, lost 25 bucks just like that. I'm usually pretty good at real tables though.

I like to yell out "Royal Flush!" when i ejaculate

I like to yell out "I'm all in!" when I ejaculate.

And I thought you guys were just winning at poker in there. jsmirk

I sometimes yell "HIT ME"

I always flop majors

Originally posted by Mairuzu
nice change there 131
I wanted to be just like you. 131

I've had one once, but never since. I acted like an idiot with it as well, didn't play subtly at all.

The best hand I ever got on pokerstars was a four of a kind with 9s. I limped in and matched all the raises, then I raised after the river where everyone called since they vested so much into the pot, and I took it all like a poker god! cowboy

Bow before me.

There was a period where I got 4 of a kind with Jacks, three days in a row. Needless to say, I loved it.

That sounds like something that could only happen on internet poker.

Yeah, it was.

I don't play poker 'offline' that much, I find all the table talk business frustrating, all the silly mind games people try to use and that. Unless it's with friends of course, then it's nothing more than a laugh.

Yeah, I learned at real table games when people are trying to play mind games and stuff I just tune them out. Then when I beat them they get all flustered and pissed off for no reason. They basically psyche themselves out. For some reason I suck at playing with friends.

Yeah, I'm not too good at playing with friends, usually because I don't really want to take their money off them. Also, they know me too well, all the subtle signals they can instantly pick up on.

My friends make such stupid bets, I always think they are bluffing but they usually end up having good hands, which makes their bets not stupid I guess. I always underestimate them. As far as bluffing, I usually don't straight out bluff unless I have an open ended straight or a flush draw. Sometimes I'll bluff to clean up a weak pot if everyone else is checking, I'll raise it a lot just so they'll fold, mind you I don't make it a habit otherwise someone will read my patterns, damn there's so much to poker. *sighs*

Yeah, the trouble is knowing when to bluff, I've slipped up a few times by bluffing at the wrong time. I always love it when I can tell someone else is bluffing, though. It's an awesome feeling just calling their high bets, than raising them big on the river.