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So, I have this fat chick living on the corner on the right to my house, and her transsexual cousin (I'm serious) living about three houses to the left off me. She's 19 years old, has a baby, and yet finds the time to torment the entire street, by rounding up every jobless degenerate who lives within a radius of 20 km in front of house, to talk with them (loudly) from about three in the afternoon till 5 in the morning (!). Now it wouldn't be too much of a problem if she only did it during the weekends, but she does it every night of the week. I've tried reasoning with her because I can't afford to lose that much sleep every night, because I have either work or school. The guy a cross the street has tried reasoning with her, because his kids can't sleep because of them etc. This has been going on for a couple of months now, and the police have actually been at her door a couple of times before. They just don't seem to care. I try to stay at my girlfriend's apartment as much as possible lately, so that I can at least get some rest.

Anyway, I came home from my girlfriend's this morning at about ten o' clock. Coincidentally my two neighbours were talking in front of their house. They greet me, I greet them back, and then they ask me if I had heard already. I said no and asked what they were talking about. Apparently, those inbred morons were at it again last night. The fat chick's neighbour, who just moved in with her kids about two weeks ago, asked them to keep it down. They threatened her with a knife. She calls the cops, the cops arrest a couple of those ****ers, and if shit like this ever occurs again, they'll have to move out of the neighbourhood.

I thought you were rich.

Should go out the front of the house in the morning just as they are going to sleep and crank some music up or something, keep them awake.

shoulda went out there one night all covered in sweat, carrying a knife in one hand, and a raggedy Ann doll in the other, and yelled SHUT THE FVCK UP ORCA!!!

Originally posted by Slay
So, I have this fat chick living on the corner on the right to my house, and her transsexual cousin (I'm serious) living about three houses to the left off me. She's 19 years old, has a baby, and yet finds the time to torment the entire street, by rounding up every jobless degenerate who lives within a radius of 20 km in front of house, to talk with them (loudly) from about three in the afternoon till 5 in the morning (!). Now it wouldn't be too much of a problem if she only did it during the weekends, but she does it every night of the week. I've tried reasoning with her because I can't afford to lose that much sleep every night, because I have either work or school. The guy a cross the street has tried reasoning with her, because his kids can't sleep because of them etc. This has been going on for a couple of months now, and the police have actually been at her door a couple of times before. They just don't seem to care. I try to stay at my girlfriend's apartment as much as possible lately, so that I can at least get some rest.

Anyway, I came home from my girlfriend's this morning at about ten o' clock. Coincidentally my two neighbours were talking in front of their house. They greet me, I greet them back, and then they ask me if I had heard already. I said no and asked what they were talking about. Apparently, those inbred morons were at it again last night. The fat chick's neighbour, who just moved in with her kids about two weeks ago, asked them to keep it down. They threatened her with a knife. She calls the cops, the cops arrest a couple of those ****ers, and if shit like this ever occurs again, they'll have to move out of the neighbourhood.


There's a couple of things you can do.


If you have $500 dollars, pay a really large dude to rape her. Make sure the really large dude punches her in the head while he rapes her and he has to tell her "Make some noise, b****, make some noise." You may want to consider selecting and paying this anonymously through a proxy, to avoid anything coming back to you.

I don't really like that option, but it is an option.

The second option is much much better, but it requires that they have a natural gas source somewhere.

If you can, procure a tank of carbon monooxide. After everyone goes to bed, pump it into the ventilation system of the house. You have to be very careful to pump it correctly. You may want to consider bringing scuba gear. Anywho, after they are all dead, turn their gas stove on and leave it on.

If they have a carbon monoxide detector, you're ****ed. If they have motion sensors, you're ****ed. If they have infrared sensors, you're ****ed. However, I am doubting that she has any of those because she has shits over at her house at all times of the night. If she armed the system before hitting the sack, one of her shits would set the alarms off.

You'd want to poor in the CO into the source of the AC system, that way the CO spreads to the rest of the home, killing all occupants.

Be very sure to wear gloves and a hair covering. Long sleeves as well. If you can mange. Wear a pair of shoes that you have never worn before. Have someone who is not a family member and not a close friend purchase them. If you want to really help out in the shoe department, you could scope out some frequenters to her place and see what shoes they wear. Burn them when you get done...preferably not in you place. Try not to scratch ANYTHING while in their house. It could be all over if you leave an eyebrow hair...slim..but still a possibility. To keep from sweating, wear a long sleeve under armor shirt.

Also, you'll probably have to wait for the AC unit to turn on before you start pouring in the CO. There's one thing that I am concerned about...the CO canister may have to be carted on wheel. If that is the case, it may leave tracks.

Make sure you carry the cannister over the grass if you have to cross the grass. Obtain the CO cannister (large), via anonymous proxy as well.


There's a few other things I'd like to add to this, but this is the general idea on how to take care of it.

Originally posted by Slay
if shit like this ever occurs again, they'll have to move out of the neighbourhood. It has to happen one more time before they're forced to leave? Lame.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
I thought you were rich.
My dad is relatively rich. Also, it's not a bad neighbourhood, it just seems like she's determined to change it into one.

Originally posted by Slay
So, I have this fat chick living on the corner on the right to my house, and her transsexual cousin (I'm serious) living about three houses to the left off me. She's 19 years old, has a baby, and yet finds the time to torment the entire street, by rounding up every jobless degenerate who lives within a radius of 20 km in front of house, to talk with them (loudly) from about three in the afternoon till 5 in the morning (!). Now it wouldn't be too much of a problem if she only did it during the weekends, but she does it every night of the week. I've tried reasoning with her because I can't afford to lose that much sleep every night, because I have either work or school. The guy a cross the street has tried reasoning with her, because his kids can't sleep because of them etc. This has been going on for a couple of months now, and the police have actually been at her door a couple of times before. They just don't seem to care. I try to stay at my girlfriend's apartment as much as possible lately, so that I can at least get some rest.

Anyway, I came home from my girlfriend's this morning at about ten o' clock. Coincidentally my two neighbours were talking in front of their house. They greet me, I greet them back, and then they ask me if I had heard already. I said no and asked what they were talking about. Apparently, those inbred morons were at it again last night. The fat chick's neighbour, who just moved in with her kids about two weeks ago, asked them to keep it down. They threatened her with a knife. She calls the cops, the cops arrest a couple of those ****ers, and if shit like this ever occurs again, they'll have to move out of the neighbourhood.


you're a dude?

He's from the Netherlands.


What do you expect awesus

Originally posted by ScarletSpeed
you're a dude?
You really are funny, aren't you? You steaming pile of afterbirth.

Originally posted by Slay
You really are funny, aren't you? You steaming pile of afterbirth.



I wasn't even trying to be funny, I just assumed because of your sig, I read the whole thing and it said your girlfriend, so I assumed you were a lesbian, then I looked at your Gender thing,



and no!! you are a steaming pile of placenta.

Originally posted by ScarletSpeed


I wasn't even trying to be funny, I just assumed because of your sig, I read the whole thing and it said your girlfriend, so I assumed you were a lesbian, then I looked at your Gender thing,



and no!! you are a steaming pile of placenta.
Funny, I remember you making some pretty homo-erotic comments towards me in the official pic thread thing.

Also, thanks for notifying me of the fact that having a beautiful woman in your sig is girly. I shall remove it immediately.

No, you are, you cocknosed wanker.

Originally posted by Slay
Funny, I remember you making some pretty homo-erotic comments towards me in the official pic thread thing.

Also, thanks for notifying me of the fact that having a beautiful woman in your sig is girly. I shall remove it immediately.

No, you are, you cocknosed wanker.


I made a homo-erotic comment to you ???

haha, that's funny, what did I say?

cocknosed wanker?

dunno why you're getting all offended

I am shit when it comes to names so when I read who the thread was by, it slipped my mind that you were in fact a guy.

Originally posted by ScarletSpeed
I made a homo-erotic comment to you ???

haha, that's funny, what did I say?

cocknosed wanker?

dunno why you're getting all offended

I am shit when it comes to names so when I read who the thread was by, it slipped my mind that you were in fact a guy.
Don't remember exactly. You were (jokingly) coming on to me, I said, that's awfully poetic of you, then you said, you do that to me.

Indeed.

I don't know why you think I'm getting offended.

Originally posted by Slay
Don't remember exactly. You were (jokingly) coming on to me, I said, that's awfully poetic of you, then you said, you do that to me.

Indeed.

I don't know why you think I'm getting offended.


I actually remember that, forget what I said though


probably all the obscenities you are hurling my way, dunno though. srug

Originally posted by ScarletSpeed
I actually remember that, forget what I said though


probably all the obscenities you are hurling my way, dunno though. srug
Good, good.

There's nothing you can say that could possibly offend me.

I like throwing obscenities in people's way.

Originally posted by Slay
Good, good.

There's nothing you can say that could possibly offend me.

I like throwing obscenities in people's way.


hmmm, I must have caused some sort of emotion that made you "randomly" call me afterbirth.

you failed abortion, youcrackers

Originally posted by ScarletSpeed
hmmm, I must have caused some sort of emotion that made you "randomly" call me afterbirth.

you failed abortion, youcrackers
Failed abortion.

Reminds me of high school. I called a girl in my class that. She ended up crying so loud you could hear it in the gym, while she was in the girl's locker room.

Originally posted by Slay
Failed abortion.

Reminds me of high school. I called a girl in my class that. She ended up crying so loud you could hear it in the gym, while she was in the girl's locker room.
Was it yours? awesus

Originally posted by FoxMeister
Was it yours? awesus
...what?

Originally posted by Slay
Failed abortion.

Reminds me of high school. I called a girl in my class that. She ended up crying so loud you could hear it in the gym, while she was in the girl's locker room.


you are such a pleasant man.


Originally posted by FoxMeister
Was it yours? awesus

Originally posted by ScarletSpeed
you are such a pleasant man.
Thank you.

Originally posted by Slay
...what?


Don't act innocent and ignorant. You KNOW WTF he's talking about. 313

Originally posted by dadudemon
Don't act innocent and ignorant. You KNOW WTF he's talking about. 313
Yeah, I got it just after I typed it. At first I thought he was trying to be a smart-ass about me saying 'my class'.