Joker Quotes

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Da Joker
Here, you post Joker quotes from any media that you may remember.

"You wanna know how I got these scars? My dad was a drinker...and a fiend. One night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy goes to grab the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not...one..bit. He comes at me with the knife and says 'Why So Serious'. He sticks the blade in my mouth and says 'Let's Put a Smile on that Face' and....why so serious?"

"I wanted to see what you do...and you didn't dissapoint. You let five people die...and then, you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me that's cold."

Mairuzu
"Batsie"

Mairuzu
His laugh is his best line

Da Joker
I liked the laugh he gave when Batman hit him in the interrogation room.

SelinaAndBruce
"I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman!"

Da Joker
"I have a flying mouse to kill....and I wanna clean my claws!"

SelinaAndBruce
"If you're good at something, never do it for free!"

Da Joker
"You looks nervous. Is it the scars? I had a wife once, beautiful...like you, who tells me I oughta smile more...that I get in too deep with lone sharks. One night, they carve her face, and we have no money for surgeries. I just want her to know I don't care about the scars so I take a razor..and do this to myself. She leaves...now I see the funny side...now I'm always smiling."

celestialdemon
"I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger."

"And I thought my jokes were bad..."

"This town deserves a better class of criminal... and I'm gonna give it to them."

"I am an agent of chaos."

Da Joker
"I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and turned it on itself."

"Come on! I want you to do it...I want you do it it! Hit me! Hit me!"

Darth Martin
"A year ago these cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you, what happend, I mean, I mean did your balls drop off or something?"

Da Joker
"I know why you choose to have your little...group therapy sessions. I know why you're afraid to go out at night: The Batman."

SelinaAndBruce
"They don't make em like they used to, ay Batsie?!"

Da Joker
"They don't make straightjackets like they used to...I should know. Hehehehehe!"

The Heap
Gambol: "You think you can just steal from us and walk away?"

Joker: In a complete matter-of-fact tone: "Yeah."

Priceless stuff.

Da Joker
My God that was funny. He didn't try to deny it, he just came right out and said "Yeah"...good stuff.

Batman: "Let her go."

Joker: *Looks stunned for a moment* "Very poor choice of words! Hahaha!"

dant3g0
"I'm like a dog chasing cars.... I don't even know what im gonna do if im going to catch one."

Joker1237
"Can't be too careful with all those weirdos around. "

Maistro
"You old eyes do not deceive you Brucie, afterall who knew me better than you"

"Ears are to long and i miss the cape, not to shabby, not to shabby at all.....WOOF"

Most line from BB Return of the Joker and Batman TAS were awesome, Mark Hamill is still the best joker voice around even Heath's voice nor his lines even come close

Da Joker
Dude, Hamil's Joker may be one of the best, but Ledger had many lines that topped some of Hamil's Joker.

Bat Dude
"What kind of a world do we live in, where a man dressed up as a BAT, gets all of my press?" -Batman 1989

"You look great! Lost a little weight... Lost a little hair, too!" -Joker's Favor

"You and me, we could do this forever..." -The Dark Knight

nimbus006
Originally posted by Bat Dude

"You and me, we could do this forever..." -The Dark Knight

That was probably my favorite, and for some reason made me sad.

Maybe it's because we won't see them "do this forever". sad

Da Joker
"Now, our operation is small. There's a lot of room for aggressssiiiive expansion. So, which one of you fine men would like to join our team? Oh and we only have one spot open so we're gonna have...tryouts."

rox
"people will die, starting tonight, i'm a man of my worddddddddd" hahahahahaha

BruceSkywalker
"And here we go"

Mr Shindiggery
"Why So Serious"

Toku King
Originally posted by Da Joker
Dude, Hamil's Joker may be one of the best, but Ledger had many lines that topped some of Hamil's Joker.

I'd say that they're about even.

SelinaAndBruce
"A little song, a little dance, Batman's head on a lance!"

Joker1237
"Aha ha ha ha ha! Boy, did you get the wrong number! Leave your name and number at the sound of the shriek."


Noo, please, dont, ahhh.

Mr Shindiggery
"Not the robot theory again, Croc!"

RevoWution™©®
Some Batman 89 quotes. I just watched it again last night, and to be honest, Jack Nicholson had some awesome lines in that movie lol:

"I have given a name to my pain, and it is BATMAN!"

"Never rub another man's rhubarb!!"

"I'm only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside, I'm really crying... If you might join me for a weep!!"

"If you gotta go, go with a smile!!"

Bat Dude
"It's not about the money... It's about sending a message..." -TDK

'Hello? Operator? I believe my party has been DISCONNECTED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" -Mask of the Phantasm

Da Joker
"What's to know? You're a punk! A rank amateur! A costumed aron boy taking orders from a senile old man. Still, if it's a whuppin you're a wantin'!"

SelinaAndBruce
Revowution I agree Jack's Joker did have some good lines. The Joker always has great material.

Dark-Jaxx
"I'm a man of simple taste, gunpowder, gasoline, dynamite. You wanna know what they all have in common? They're cheap."

I think that's how it went, might have gotten the order fvcked up, but I really liked that quote.

FistOfThe North
"It's not about the money. It's about, sending a message.."

- Joker



I liked that one.

Da Joker
"You see...this is how crazy Batman has made Gotham! If you want order in Gotham, Batman must take his mask off and turn himself in. Oh, and everyday he doesn't, people will die, starting tonight. I'm a man of my word. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

SnakeEyes
"When you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember there's always madness. Madness is the emergency exit."

One of my favorites.

TheGame17
Joker: "Now lets not blow this out of proportion." (shows grenades)

Black dude: "You think you can just come in here and get away with this?!?"

Joker: "Yeah."

Myth
Originally posted by Da Joker
"You looks nervous. Is it the scars? I had a wife once, beautiful...like you, who tells me I oughta smile more...that I get in too deep with lone sharks. One night, they carve her face, and we have no money for surgeries. I just want her to know I don't care about the scars so I take a razor..and do this to myself. She leaves...now I see the funny side...now I'm always smiling."

I love that one, though you missed one of the best parts of that quote though, where he says "she can't stand the sight of my face!" (or something close to that).

Here is one from '89 that I like: "I make art, until somebody dies."

And "Why didn't somebody tell me he has one of those... things!"

Bardock42
God, there was this great thing in "Last Laugh". Joker's to do list and testament. It had this one great point.

"Call Commissioner Gordon; Ask for Sarah; Hang up.


Repeat"

FistOfThe North
"You... IDIOT!! (smiling yet pissed off) You made me! Remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals! That wasn't easy to get over!; and don't think that I didn't try!" (enthusiastically nodding "yes"wink.

- Joker (Batman '89)

Da Joker
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ohhh...better sit down before I bust a gut. Seeya later, kiddo!"

SelinaAndBruce
"I make art until someone dies. I'm the world's first fully functional homocidal artist"

iraiam
"You cheezed me off by messing in my affairs. Normally, I eviscerate people for that"



Think it's out of a Batman comic book, I don't remember which one but it has been written on one of my 3-ring binders for a long long time.

Da Joker
"The only sensible way to live is without rules and tonight you're gonna break your one rule."

FistOfThe North
"I've taken off my mask. Now, how about you, take of yours.."

- Joker '89

atharpina
"OHHH.. LOOK AT YOU GO!" - TDK

SelinaAndBruce
"And where is the Batman? He's at home! Washing his tights!"

The Black Ghost
"Its not about money! Its about...sending a message...Everything burns!"

BruceSkywalker
"Why So Serious?"

"Lets put a smile on that face."

sithsaber408
"And as for the uh, TV's so called "plan"...Batman has no jurisdiction. He'll find him and make him squeal. I know the squealers..."

FistOfThe North
"You can call me..,Joker. And as you can see, i'm alot happier..hehehehahaha"



"Winged freak,...terrorizes!.. Wait'll they get a load'a me.." (love that one)


- Batman '89

Da Joker
"I took Gotham's "White Knight" and brought him down to our level. As you know, madness is like gravity...all it needs is a little push! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

FistOfThe North
Batman '89's on now. Oddly on on abc family.

Myth
Well, now that Dark Knight has come out, its realism pushes the '89 version into the family category.

Seer Q'Anilia
Luthor getting choked by Grundy: And you'll also guarantee none of you will ever see a penny from me
Grundy drops Luthor: Your crazy
Joker kicks in the door: And whats wrong with THAT? It's done wonders for me

Kapton JAC
"Under all the stern and batarangs is just a little boy, crying for his Mommy and Daddy. It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic... Ah, heck I'll laugh anyway." - Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

Seer Q'Anilia
I love 'Return of the Joker'

Da Joker
Okay, that's nice, but the whole point of the thread is adding quotes, do you have any?

"It's not about the money...it's about sending a message. Everything burns!"

Seer Q'Anilia
Originally posted by Da Joker
Okay, that's nice, but the whole point of the thread is adding quotes, do you have any?

"It's not about the money...it's about sending a message. Everything burns!"

So I have to post a quote in every single post I make in this thread? Because I did post a quote two posts before your comment on my opinion revolving 'Return of the Joker', which was rather on-topic because I love it due to the Joker and the lines that are mentioned in it.


But very well:

Joker (Dressed in a batman suit): "Then Joker thought that if he couldnt beat the bat, he'd BE the bat"

FistOfThe North
"Bruce, we're both murderers. Think how many people you've killed by letting me live."

- Joker

Air Legend
Where do we begin



shifty

FistOfThe North
"Who is this loss?"

DethRose
"This town needs an enema! Hahahahaha!" Jackie boy Joker

mindbomb
I have one from batman tas

"I wont be happy until we take that man there, put him in that box there, and shove it in that vat of acid there"

Master Crimzon
"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man to lunacy."

How did you forget this line? It's basically the whole point of the Joker's actions in the Killing Joke and TDK.

"I just kill me when I think about killing you!"- The Man Who Laughs

Balnazaar
From: Batman Beyond

Its not much? Its NOTHING! Worthless! You're a disgrace to the name Joker! Why in my day---- ---- If you insist! (smiles)
-Hey, man. I was just kidding! (cowers as the Joker points the gun aaaanndd..... PANG! ?!) So was I! Ehm hmm!!! (shoots again!)
Whoops?! No, I wasn't!

HEllo, Gothammm! JOKERs back in town! AAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HAAAAAHH!!!

designs84
hahaheheh hurrrryyyyyyyyy Happy Dance Happy Dance

Flameback
"I did it! I finally killed Batman! In front of a bunch of vulnerable, disabled, kids!!!! Now get me Santa Claus!" - Batman #655

Flameback
"Both of us trying to find meaning in a meaningless world! Why be a disfigured outcast when I can be a notorious Crime God? Why be an orphaned boy when you can be a superhero?"
Batman #663

colossulrage
Where does he get all those wonderful toys!?

uniqueweasel
TDK Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm? And then we'll see how loyal a hungry dog really is.

1989 It's as though we were made for each other... Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out.

sampalmer10
Originally posted by Harvey Two-Face
Here, you post Joker quotes from any media that you may remember.

"You wanna know how I got these scars? My dad was a drinker...and a fiend. One night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy goes to grab the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not...one..bit. He comes at me with the knife and says 'Why So Serious'. He sticks the blade in my mouth and says 'Let's Put a Smile on that Face' and....why so serious?"

"I wanted to see what you do...and you didn't dissapoint. You let five people die...and then, you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me that's cold."

i just want my phone call (knife to some dudes face) Classic laughing Happy Dance

LuniLulu
"And... here... we... go!" X3 ACTION TIME

SPOILER-

This one isn't really a 'quote' but I thought it was funny. In Batman- The Dark Knight, he pushes the button to blow up the hospital and it only blows up half of it. X3 Turns around and holds his arms out like in a 'what!?' and starts pushing the button a lot. Then it works.

The Joker: I want... my phone call. I want it. I want it! I want my phone call!
Detective Stephens: That's nice.
x3

"Oh, excuse me, I want to drive!"

Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy.

Well, depending on the time, he may in one spot, or several.

I love this job!



That's about my favs. :3
Happy Dance Happy Dance

FistOfThe North
"Winged freak. Terrorizes... Wait'll they get a load'a me.."

FistOfThe North
By himself talking to a mob boss he just fried to death with a deadly electric handshake.

"You're a vicious bastard Rotelli, and, uh, I'm glad you're dead! hahahahaha !! (walks away laughing at the joke) oh god, I'm glad you're dead, hahahahahahaha!".

SimonComics
"Now be quiet, before I think of something funny to do with you."

Grant Morrison uber alles

HarlequinOfHate
*edited* Just saw the post a few posts back mentioning this same quote which gives the cooked mob boss's name. oh well I still consider it one of my favourites...

Talking to the freshly cooked corpse sitting at the conference table -

"Nice bunch of guys your friends... maybe i should give them some time to think it over..."
turns to face corpse shaking "No?"
looks surprised "Grease em' now? Well alright. You know what, you are a vicious bastard ******, and I'm glad your dead ha ha ha ha ha"
walks off muttering to himself "I'm glad you dead" and laughing....






****** = I cant remember characters name but it was something italian and mafia sounding... sad my bad

Enjoy big grin

From your psychotic neighbourhood -
Harlequin of Hate (Havoc)

thanos-prime
Cool thread couple i thought need to be posted:

"Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile."

"My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things?"

"You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

the kill
you gotta ask yourself something do you feel lucky.... well do ya ....you only got one shot, hows this gonna go down ............................say hello to my little freind

not from batman but awesome lines

the kill
is anyone a hot girl

Bleachboy
I'm a man of my word HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!. (The Dark Knight)
Heath Ledger

Come on boys! He's just one man! One man dressed like a lunatic and armed to the teeth. XD (Batman: Arkham Asylum) Mark Hamill

Remember guys, he may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot. LOL ( Batman: Arkham Asylum) Mark Hamill

DeDarkofDeJoker
"Nice of you to say, but you, of all people shoud´ve know, theres plently wrong with me *evil grin*"

FistOfThe North
"Sometimes i kill myself !!"

kludicted
"If you get hurt inside, get certified, and if life should treat you bad...don't get ee-ee-even, get maaaaddd!!!"

I think there was more to it as well, but this is my favortie part

Black bolt z
"Madness, as you know, if like gravity...it just needs a little push *sadistic laugh*"

Black bolt z
"I'm going to show you a magic trick. I'm going to make this pencil....disappear!"

FistOfThe North
i liked when he asked viki vale: "now, where's?,.." and then playfully flutters both hands as if impersonating a butterfly but he means a bat, or batman.

DeNiro
www.youtube.com/TheValencourt check out my joke impression... i have a much better one coming though....

You were a skimmer... you had plans.... and look where that got ya

lordmegatron1
Not sure if it wash used already: "Ah, sunlight. Fresh air *big sniff* *cough, cough* Ooh, I hate it!"

E. Nigma 38
I just heard this one yesterday:
"If the Bat acts like an idiot or talks like an idiot, don't let him fool you, he really is an idiot, Hahahahahahaha!"

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