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the story is similar to elfen lied. a group of genetically mutated humans with psychic powers called devastators threatened the existence of humankind. however, some humans evolved to have some resistance to psychic attacks and tremendous physical abilities called beholders (as they can see invisible "weapons" of the devastators. a 10 year old beholder saw the murder of his family by devastators. with sheer lament, he killed and mutilated the devastators with his bare hands but realized he become a :"demon" to his own eyes. he repented yet he never forgives himself for that but the crisis goes on as he met a amnesiac devastator that will change his life forever.....

I myself am writing a fiction and I'll tell you readily now that "Beholder" is a trademark by Wizards of the coast, meaning you aren't legally allowed to use it.

Furthermore, the title seems average, very 'common'. Slam together two fancy words that seem fit kind of style. But I guess it's better than some other titles that are out there.

The concept itself I think is a bad idea. Usually when some kid have seen a good anime, he wants to make his own story just like that with some minor alterations. However it never works.

Creating a fiction requires ambition, more than you will ever get out of reading stories. Movies, and tales you recently read are likely to have a great influence. Which sadly isn't a good thing.
Lets say you decided to start making a fantasy manga, and then after a year of work on the plot development you decide to watch the new Warhammer 40,000 movie that has just hit the cinema.
The movie is great, and unfortunately aspects of it mirrors off on your own story. In short--even though laser-guns are cool in general they wouldn't make a good story in the hands of Frodo.

And some person whose parents gets killed is a bit overused. Especially in manga, where almost all of them focus on developing the determination of the reader. In a few years this concept will also seem a bit 'cheesy'.

And remember, manga are mostly read by teens. A ten year old character might be a recoil.

ok. thanks. i think you're right about it somehow......